


That's Just Life

by baekhyunee



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Anal Sex, Blood and Injury, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hospitalization, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Minor Koujaku/Seragaki Aoba, Onesided Koujaku/Aoba, Onesided Noiz/Aoba, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rhyme, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-02-07 11:52:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 96,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1897959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekhyunee/pseuds/baekhyunee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been just over a month since the fall of the Oval tower and Noiz is beginning to regret opening up for Aoba. Pain becomes a new thing and he plans to push himself to the limit in order to feel emotionally again.<br/>Koujaku lives a slightly bitter life after being rejected by Aoba and can't help but put himself into Noiz's life in an attempt to bond with those who shared his fate. </p><p>Basically this takes place after Noiz's good route but Aoba decides to choose Mizuki instead of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my first Dmmd fic I've written. I'm really excited about it just because these are two of my favorite characters anyway. I may or may not add Clear and/or Mink into this story because 1, I would probably be really shitty with the characterization and 2 because I haven't really though about how to put them into the story so I apologize.
> 
> ***I have yet to edit this chapter fully so there may be a few mistakes, I'll take them out soon***

Pain.

He hadn’t felt a pain like this in years.

This feeling.

The feeling when you think someone had ripped your still-beating heart from your chest.

Noiz could not shake that feeling, that pain. He’d been used to being ignored, he was used to disappointing people. 

It had been a month since the fall of the Oval Tower but that night replayed endlessly in his mind. He remembered everything. Every intricate detail displayed vividly on his mind constantly as he endured his long recovery.

He was the one Aoba chose to journey with. He was the one whom Aoba chose to love. Aoba was the one who opened his heart, his mind, and helped him feel once again. Not just physically, but emotionally. But none of that mattered now. Aoba never really cared about him.

The day after the fall of the Oval Tower, Aoba showed up in his hospital room, carrying a basket full of food his Granny baked. They both spoke as if they had been in a serious relationship for years. Then the trouble started. Aoba told him that he wanted to visit his friend, Mizuki, whom had also been sent to the hospital as a result of Aoba’s failed Scrap.

From then on, Aoba showed up to see Noiz less and less. Each time, Aoba had less to talk about and at times found it difficult to pay attention to what Noiz had to say. It was almost like he had something, or someone, else on his mind. On the days Aoba didn’t visit, he swore he saw a blue-haired man walk into the room next to his. Mizuki’s room. This extended loneliness only left him with his thoughts. Those thoughts slowly began to cloud up and spread darkness throughout his mind once more.

Noiz constantly had flashbacks to when he was a child again. He remembered the exact words his mother told him before he was shut out for good.

* * *

 

“Mom?” Noiz looked at the red liquid dripping from his fingers. He stared as the red liquid began to drip from his fingers and land on the carpet. His eyes widened as the drops of blood soaked up into the carpet, creating a large red shape beneath him. “Why are you crying?” He looked up and watched his mother shake her head and began wrapping bandages around his worst wounds.

“Why aren’t you crying?” She sniffled, wiping a tear that had rolled midway down her cheek, “Doesn’t this hurt?”

“No.”

Wrong answer.

Noiz had always been able to pinpoint the exact moment his mother had made the decision to get rid of him. At this point, she didn’t even bother to finish tending to his wounds. She dragged her son by his still-bleeding arm into his bedroom. Noiz was violently picked up and sat down on his bed.

“Stay here.” She glared at him, watching his eyes well up with tears of his own. Tears rolled down his cheeks constantly, one after the other off his face and splashed down onto his sheets with an audible sound. He waited for his mother to say something, but she only stared. She watched every single tear fall from her son’s eyes and refused to wipe away a single one. Shaking her head, she stood up, “You are no son of mine.”

His mother turned towards the door and walked out, locking it as she went. The key went with her. And Noiz never saw her again.

Living a life of solitude became normal for Noiz. He couldn’t remember the last time he had cried. He knew that he used to cry a lot, but it seemed like a blur to him. Every day was exactly the same to him. Every day was the same until he met Aoba.

 

* * *

 

He was feeling it again. Noiz constantly cursed himself for falling in love with Aoba, for trusting Aoba, for opening up to Aoba. He felt so vulnerable, so used. It seemed that every time he blinked, an image from his past flashed in his mind.

Blink.

His first fight.

Blink.

His mother tending to his wounds in distraught tears.

Blink.

His drive-by against Aoba.

Blink.

Lying with Aoba in the Oval Tower.

Blink.

Aoba’s first visit to the hospital to see him.

Blink.

Aoba’s last visit to seen him.

Blink.

Koujaku's visit.

Wait.

Noiz rubbed his eyes to see that Koujaku, of all people, was standing at the foot of his hospital bed.

“What do you want?”

“N-nothing! I just heard you were still in recovery so I figured you were pretty lonely. I mean you’re a pain in the ass and all but it’s pretty slow at my shop today so I was pretty bored and hey, I’m not that bad of a guy so I just—“

“Okay. I get it.” Noiz shook his head. The two of them never got along, so his unannounced visit seemed weird. He must have had ulterior motives. Koujaku could be a nice person, but never to him. “Where’s Aoba?” Koujaku visibly tensed up and purposefully avoided eye contact. “You don’t have all day, old man, hurry up before you die of old age.”

“Shut up, brat. Aoba’s been busy.”

“Busy with what?”

“Mizuki. They’ve been dating for a while.” Noiz leaned back in his bed, feeling any sort of hope stuffed into the deep depth of his mind disappear completely. His reaction must have been almost as intense externally as it was internally because he earned a worried stare from Koujaku. “S-sorry, I shouldn’t have told you.”

“I would have found out.” That’s why Koujaku came to see him. Noiz knew Koujaku wanted Aoba too. He needed someone to feel the same pain he was feeling. And knowing them, Mink and Clear had disappeared by now. Koujaku nodded and sat down in the chair beside the bed. He blinked again and pictured Aoba sitting in the same exact chair. No one had sat there besides Aoba. Then a new image displayed in his mind.

* * *

 

Aoba was sitting in the blue chair next to the hospital bed. The bed being occupied by Mizuki. Aoba’s cheeks were pink, the slight blush spread evenly across his face ass he held up a bunny-shaped apple slice to his boyfriend’s face.

“Open up!” he hummed, watching Mizuki’s lips spread apart just enough for Aoba to place the carefully sliced food into his mouth. He smiled as he chewed his food, letting out a gentle laugh when he swallowed. “Close your eyes this time.” Aoba smiled and watched Mizuki’s eyes shut. He stood up from the chair and placed his hand on the headboard for support. Aoba leaned forward and kissed Mizuki’s lips lightly, but filled with love.

* * *

 

Noiz growled, trying to rid his brain of such an image.

“Noiz?! I know we aren’t necessarily friends, or even acquaintances for that matter but if you ever want to talk about this, my shop’s always open.” Koujaku shrugged. He wasn’t really trying to make amends with Noiz, he probably just felt bad that he too was distraught about Aoba’s choice.

“Get the fuck away from me.” Noiz snapped, “I don’t need your help and I especially don’t need your pity, old man. So how about you go jerk off to that no-good, blue-haired, so-called friend of yours and just leave me the hell alone.”

And with that, Koujaku left in silence.

* * *

 

A nurse showed up soon after to check upon him. The scene he caused with Koujaku must have been pretty loud. Then he showed up. Aoba ran into the room, obviously in the middle of his visit with Mizuki. He looked down at Noiz.

“Hey, are you okay? What was all that commotion about?!” Silence. Instead of giving Aoba the satisfaction of an answer, he leaned back and pressed the red button above the headboard. His eyes never met Aoba’s gaze and before he knew it, the nurse returned to his room.

“What do you need—“ Noiz cut her off before she told Aoba his real name.

“Visiting hours are over.” Noiz simply spoke, watching her eyes meet Aoba’s.

“I’m sorry, sir.”

“It’s fine, Sorry for overstaying my welcome.” Aoba apologized before muttering a goodbye to Noiz before he left the room. The nurse lingered in silence before she turned on her heel and walked towards the door.

“One more week until discharge, are you excited?” She spoke before walking down the hall, not even waiting for a reply. Noiz shook his head in reply anyway. No. He was not excited. Sure there were plenty of things he hated about the hospital, but the real world wasn’t any better.

Though his nights alone in the hospital weren’t necessarily quiet, he felt an uncomfortable silence, even during visiting hours. There was always that constant beep, signaling that yes, his heart was still beating. Nowadays he doubted it was still present inside of him. When he heard the beep, he was told otherwise. Noiz would always hear people talking in the halls, squeaky wheels on the beds made loud sounds as they passed his room, and even the occasional alarm accidentally set off. 

Nothing was really peaceful, but he had grown used to it. He could drown out all the unimportant noises, but he couldn’t drown out his thoughts. Noiz continuously thought about getting out of the hospital. Originally he had imagined returning to Germany, only to return when he felt he could prove himself worthy of Aoba. That dream never died. 

But now, he had to rewrite his goals. He no longer felt the need to suffer another encounter with his parents. He stopped feeling that he needed to prove himself. When he got out, he didn’t have a plan anymore, nor did he care what happened to him. 

Noiz got out of bed. He had felt well enough to leave now, but the doctors refused to believe he was well enough to leave. Though he had recovered surprisingly quickly, Noiz was tired of the constant worry of doctors. He made his way to the window and looked out. Eighth floor. He stared at the distance separating him from the ground and where he currently was. With that thought, he shoved the window open and swung his legs up to sit on the windowsill. 

Jump. He blinked and leaned his body forward slightly. Noiz gasped and quickly opened his eyes. When he looked down from his spot in the window, he pictured his disheveled body lying on the ground below. He pictured the sun rising, no one finding the body until nurses came in to check on him in the morning. 

Noiz never imagined anyone attending or even giving him a proper funeral. He only pictured someone getting saddled with the terrible job of digging his grave and rolling his rotting corpse into the ground. This made Noiz laugh. He always knew how much of a nuisance he could be to people, but it seemed funny to him that he could be a problem even after he was dead. 

He got up from the windowsill and closed it before walking towards the door. Noiz turned and stared at a small pot by his bed. It had been the flower Aoba delivered to him the first day he came to visit. It’s leaves shriveled and fell off, the stem sagged and turned dark, the once bright blue petals were almost a sickly brown surrounding the dried up soil. The nurses had continued to try and throw it away, but Noiz never had the heart to get rid of the gift. With a sigh, he walked over to the plant, put all the pieces into the pot and tucked it under his arm before walking out of the room. 

Noiz stuck his head around the corner and ran towards the emergency stairwell when the coast was clear. He rushed down the stairs, his bare feet made loud thumping noises every time one hit the concrete. Once at the ground level, he pushed the door open before he could stop and think. The door opened and a shrill noise blared from it, alerting that the door had been opened. He cursed himself and sprinted as far away as he could until he reached a safe distance. 

In the chaos, Noiz had realized he had dropped the potted plant. He rolled his eyes and told himself that the plant never mattered. He secretly missed it. 

Noiz didn’t have any money. At least, not then. All he had was a plain green hospital robe to his name. He knew he could get access to his money and all he had soon enough, but for now that was all he had. He walked, gaining weird glances from the few people who were even out this late. 

"Where're you going, a costume party? Huh kid?!" A guy across the street had taunted. Noiz silently stared back, looking over the other man’s outfit. He was wearing a long sleeved black shirt with matching black skinny jeans. Maybe this guy was some sort of bouncer. Without another thought, Noiz sprinted across the street and flung his fist straight towards the man’s face. The feeling of his knuckles connecting to the stranger’s face was a new sensation he had never felt before. His body filled with much needed adrenaline and he swung his other fist into the man’s stomach. 

The stranger fell to the ground, not even staying conscious long enough to fight back. With the loud thud of the man’s body, Noiz took the opportunity to carefully slide off his shirt and tossed it on the sidewalk. He studied the stranger’s pants, pulling them off as well in the hopes they’ll fit. Noiz let his green hospital robe hit the sidewalk before picking up the shirt and pulling it over his head. The man had been relatively the same size as Noiz, but his shirt was a snug fit. More problems came with the pants. He pulled them up his legs, the fabric practically hugging his skin. It took a few tries to button before he used the tie from his hospital robe as a makeshift belt. 

To be courteous, he slid the robe over the unconscious body before he walked on. Noiz wandered the near empty streets for what seemed like hours. Finally he reached a dimly lit bar tucked into a small alley. It was a wonder this place even had any business with the strange location and all. He shrugged and entered anyway, figuring that alcohol was alcohol. The floor was covered in a bright red carpet that made Noiz feel like he was sinking every step he made. The bar was as long as the room, one man tended it. Pictures lined the walls at various heights, all depicting key events that had happened in this bar. 

As he walked, he notice that most of the pictures had a man that had looked a lot like Mizuki behind the bar. Noiz blinked and returned his attention to the bartender. He was tall with blonde, almost white, hair. He walked closer, sitting himself onto the barstool on the left end. Nois rested his head on his hands, resting his elbows onto the bar itself. The bartender nodded at the man he had just served and walked to the end Noiz was sitting. 

"How can I help you?" Noiz looked up at the now-smiling man. From far away he never noticed the multitude of freckles the man had. 

"Surprise me." Noiz shrugged. The bartender frowned, looking Noiz over again. 

"Are you old enough to drink?" The blonde tilted his head slightly to the right as he asked the question. Even if Noiz was old enough, he had no form of ID. He just stared at the man behind the bar, shaking his head before letting out a quiet laugh. "I’m sorry sir but, I can’t serve you." 

"What can I do to change your mind?" Noiz stood up and leaned over the bar. His face was now less than a foot away from the other man’s. 

"S-sorry…There’s nothing I can—" Noiz cut him off by pulling the bartender in for a kiss. When he pulled away, the blonde rushed over to the door, flicking the ‘OPEN’ sign off and locking the door. The remaining customers had left soon after Noiz arrived. 

"Well? Will you look the other way if I let you have sex with me?" The answer came almost instantaneous. His lips found Noiz’s again, leaning over the bar as he reached around Noiz’s neck and pulled him closer. The blonde pulled away reluctantly, but figured over the bar was a bad decision. He walked around to the opposite side of the bar, pulling Noiz by the arm towards a booth against the back wall. He shrugged and followed the man’s lead. Noiz was thrown down onto the cushion of the chair.

"I never caught your name."

"Noiz." The bartender kneeled between Noiz’s legs and violently pulled his head up for another kiss. 

"James." He mentioned between kisses. Noiz never did ask the names of any quick fucks but this was different to him somehow. He hadn’t had sex with anyone since he was able to feel pain. He never thought about that when he offered and there was no turning back now. 

James started to kiss his neck, his wandering hands felt their way up Noiz’s shirt and shakily felt the skin. Noiz shivered at the feeling and froze. Suddenly he felt as if he had never done this before. A quiet moan escaped his lips as he felt James biting and sucking on the now tender skin across his neck. 

Noiz slid off the blonde’s jacket, letting it fall to the floor behind him. James tugged at the makeshift belt and pulled it off. His shirt was slid up to his chest lazily, no one wanting to make the effort to completely take it off. Noiz bit his lip and watched James bite at the skin just above the hem of his jeans. 

Noiz moved his hand to unbutton his own pants before he felt a soft hand on his own. He glanced up at James and he shook his head. 

"Not yet." The bartender spoke as he grabbed Noiz’s hand and moved it to the button on his jeans. "Here first." Noiz blinked and kept his hand on the other’s man’s button for a moment before moving at all. When he finally undid the button, James moved Noiz’s hand away and slid his pants down just enough to reveal his half hard dick. 

Noiz looked away at first, half embarrassed that he had become hard very quickly. He figured the only reason was because this was the first time he had sex like this. 

James grabbed Noiz’s head by his hair and yanked his head towards his cock. Noiz licked the head of his dick, rubbing his tongue ring against it forcefully. He wasted no time taking his entire dick into his mouth, tongue swirling around areas James had been most sensitive. With a smirk, he bit down slightly, causing his face to be shoved away from the other man’s dick. 

His amusement with the reaction was cut short when he was flipped onto his stomach. 

"Get on your hands and knees. Now."

"Why." Noiz rolled his eyes. 

"You want that alcohol right?" And with that, Noiz did what he was told. James pushed into Noiz without hesitation, causing Noiz to bite his tongue before letting out an agonized cry. James’ thrusts were increasing in speed, making Noiz moan. He refused to look, keeping his eyes shut through the whole thing. 

Noiz felt his heart beat faster in his chest, moans uncontrollably escaping his lips with one or two sounding much like James’s name. He regretted it each time. Noiz knew that this was just a quick fuck, but he had never felt it like this. He felt James finish inside of him and pulled out immediately after. 

Noiz growled, staring down at his own dick. When he turned around, he noticed James buckling his belt and moving back to the bar. He looked back down at his dick and rubbed it himself until he came too. Without making a scene, he pulled up his pants and walked out of the bar without any alcohol or a second glance at James.  

Once he left, Noiz had no idea where he was going. The streets were finally empty seeing as it was around three in the morning. It seemed like a ghost town. He imagined all the people roaming the streets in the daylight. Children tugged excitedly on their mother’s hand to take them into that toy shop on the corner. People would wave at friends they recognized on the other side of the road. He imagined what the streets were like in the early evening.

There would be people wandering around with friends, couples going on dates. Noiz glanced into the window of a closed restaurant and stared at the booth against the wall. He blinked, picturing asking Aoba on a date and they went to a restaurant like that. Aoba would smile nervously and Noiz would shrug and give Aoba the greatest night he had ever imagined. He blinked again and the dream faded. Now all he could picture was James. The way he treated him.

Noiz never expected anyone to treat him nicely. He had always assumed that every hated him and that he was anything less than human, himself. He had never been treated with respect during sex, but there was something about this time that felt different.

As he walked, Noiz decided to sit down and rest against a closed up shop. He tried to look into the windows, but his tired eyes shut before gaining a full picture. As sad as it seemed, this was one of the first times Noiz had a peaceful sleep. There weren't any machines beeping, clocks ticking, wheels squeaking, or people talking. He was far too exhausted from all the events of today and paid no mind to his thoughts.

Noiz jolted awake when he felt something touch him. He glanced around the area quickly, only to find nothing. Then it happened again. He looked up and watched thousands of tiny raindrops fall from the sky. It quickly began pouring, causing Noiz to jump up and find a place to sleep for the night. As he ran down the sidewalk, he noticed a fairly large sign leaning up against a shop window. Once he got to it, he set it up and crawled underneath it. The rain had already let up by the time Noiz fell asleep under the sign.

* * *

 

Upon leaving the hospital, Koujaku decided to pay Aoba a visit. When he got to his house, he knocked loudly on the door. The door swung open to reveal a relatively angry Tae.

“Aoba isn't here.” She glared at him. Koujaku awkwardly looked down at the ground.

“Do you think I could wait for him to come home?”

“Hmm….” Tae put her hands on her hips, “Go ahead, just let me finish dinner.” Koujaku muttered a thank you and walked inside behind Tae. She returned to the kitchen to finish dinner, but Koujaku decided to venture up to Aoba’s room.

“Hey! Where are we?” Beni poked his head out of Koujaku’s pocket.

“Aoba’s room, remember?” He picked up Beni and showed him the familiar room. Aoba’s room was how it always seemed to be. Not once has Koujaku seen it messy. Well with the exception of the night Noiz broke in.  He walked over to the door that opened out to the veranda and stepped out of the room. Beni hopped up and sat on Koujaku’s shoulder and they both looked out at the view in silence. It wasn't much of a view, but it was calming.

“Koujaku!? What are you doing up there?” He heard a familiar voice call from below. When he looked down, he saw Aoba standing by the entrance. Koujaku laughed and watched Aoba rush inside to see him.

“Aoba, where were you?” He asked once he heard the door to Aoba’s room open and shut again. Aoba walked onto the veranda next to Koujaku.

“I was at the hospital as always.”

“I went there today.” Koujaku muttered to himself. Aoba gave him a questioning look.

“Why did you go to the hospital? I didn't see you there.”

“I was visiting someone.”

“Oh….” Aoba dropped the subject without asking who he went to see. Koujaku hated to lie to Aoba which would lead to more questions as to why he would ever go visit Noiz in the first place and things of the same nature. They both stood in silence together until Tae yelled for them to come for dinner. “That’s dinner, we should go down.”

Koujaku nodded and followed Aoba down the stairs and into the kitchen. They all sat down and ate. No one really had much to say.

“So how’s Mizuki?” Koujaku questioned between bites. Aoba blushed slightly and stared down at his food.

“He’s alright, he might be able to be discharged soon which is good.” Koujaku nodded at the answer and watched Aoba take a big bite of food.

“So how’s Noiz?” Aoba swallowed audibly and nervously took a sip of his water. He hadn't really spent much time with Noiz, so he never necessarily asked him. He had been so focused on Mizuki, he forgot.

“He’s doing good.”

The rest of the meal was eaten in silence.

Koujaku had no idea why he had asked about Noiz, why he visited Noiz, or even why he thought about Noiz. He had grown a little obsessed over him once he learned that Aoba had chosen him to venture to the Oval Tower. A piece of him rejoiced when he had heard that Aoba wasn’t in love with Noiz, but another part related to him because he too had been rejected by Aoba.

* * *

 

“I should probably get going, it’s late.” Aoba frowned at stared at Kouajku.

“It’s pretty late now, you could just sleep here.”

“No, no, I've overstayed your welcome.” Aoba then muttered something that sounded like, ‘You overstayed your welcome right when you got here’ in a sarcastic tone but Koujaku chose to ignore it. He nodded and pulled a blanket from the closet in the hall and headed for the couch.

“Goodnight, Aoba.”

“Goodnight, loser.” Aoba smiled before he ran back up the stairs to his own room.

Koujaku laid on the couch, listening to the rain pound on the roof. He shut his eyes, imagining a soft, soothing rainfall instead. The rain let up before Koujaku had fallen asleep, which left him with an uncomfortable silence.

* * *

 

Koujaku woke up much earlier than the rest of the house, which meant he didn't have to stay for breakfast. Though he would have happily stayed and enjoyed another one of Tae’s meals, he felt awkward around Aoba ever since dinner. He sat up and folded the blanket nicely and rested it on the arm of the couch.

He got up and quietly shut the door behind him. The sun was just rising which meant he had about an hour before he usually opened up his shop. It had always baffled him that there would always be customers that early in the morning. Koujaku wandered down the streets, trying to kill the hour he had.

Once he had reached his shop, he noticed that his sign had been set up on the sidewalk already. He stared at it and tried to remember if he had forgotten to put it away yesterday. With a shrug, he continued towards his shop. He put his key in the door and looked over at the sign once again. Then he noticed it. There was an arm sticking out from under his sign.

“Hey, I don’t know who you think you are but you can’t sleep under my sign.” He pocketed his keys and approached the sign. Koujaku kicked it over to reveal the person underneath it. He froze. “Noiz!?”

Noiz stirred and opened one eye to look at Koujaku. He was confused of his own surroundings and wondered why he kept seeing this guy. He sat up and looked up and Koujaku with squinting eyes. His soaked clothes created a small wet patch where he had slept.

“Can you slide over to the left?”

“Why?”

“The sun.” Koujaku sighed and slid slightly over to the left. Noiz stopped squinting and got a good look at Koujaku. “What do you want old man?”

“You were sleeping under my sign. Aren’t you supposed to be in the hospital?” Noiz stood up and met Kouajku’s angry stare.

“I left.”

“You escaped the hospital just so you could sleep out on the streets in damp clothing underneath my shop sign? Yeah it was so worth it.” Noiz grabbed Koujaku’s kimono and pulled him towards him.

“This doesn't concern you, so stay out of it.” Koujaku shoved Noiz away from him.

“It does because you were sleeping by my sign, brat.”

“That’s a horrible excuse. Do you really care about me?”

“Of course not.” Koujaku looked down and avoided eye contact.

“Are you sure? You visited me yesterday didn’t you?” He mocked.

“I don’t care about you. Don’t question my actions.”

“Then why do you care what I do?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

“Because you wouldn't understand.” Noiz started laughing. It wasn't just a discrete chuckle, it was a loud, derisive laugh. Koujaku gritted his teeth and glared back at Noiz who did not let up with his disrespectful laughter.

“Then leave me alone.” Noiz turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction, shoving his hands in his pocket and headed down the sidewalk. Koujaku was left standing there, right in front of his shop. Koujaku stared at his every move until he was gone from his sight.


	2. Destruction and Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noiz seeks out the pain he so desperately longs for. Koujaku and Aoba struggle with their emotions and reach an interesting conclusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took so long I was preparing for and attending a convention last weekend (not dashcon) 
> 
> Yes, the tags changed. I knew I wanted Virus and Trip in this story but I wasn't sure how. Their relationship is sort of subtle and unimportant to this plot (I'll be writing actual vitri soon because I love them) Also Clear is added to the story! I am going through the routes again to correct characterization and whatnot so hopefully I can get Mink right and put him in as well.

“Me next!”

“No! Me!”

“Wait, I’m next! I was here first!” The crowd of women pushed at one another in an attempt to get Koujaku’s attention. He glanced up at the rather unorganized line forming outside of his shop. He tossed his scissors down on the table and pulled out his hairdryer. The woman in the chair in front of him had been a regular in his shop, coming whenever she spotted a split end or a gray hair. She always sat quietly in the chair and watched Koujaku’s every move like he was some sort of magician.

Koujaku appreciated this woman not only because of her dedication but also because she was not one of the rowdier customers. She politely waited her turn and came back the next day if Koujaku closed up shop early. He turned the hairdryer on, drying her damp hair. She giggled as he brushed his comb through her relatively thin hair before putting down everything he had in his hands.

When she was done, she bowed and thanked Koujaku. He lets her have discounts on her haircuts because she does return often.  The bell at the door of the shop rang when she left, signaling that Koujaku wasn’t busy. All the women outside of the shop watched him intently as he walked towards the door and opened it.

“Koujakuuuuu-saaaaaan!” They all said in unison when he stood there before them. He smiled and looked over at the crowd of customers.

“Alright, who’s next?” His question was answered by a countless amount of ‘Me!’ from everyone in front of him. Koujaku reached out to a woman close to where he was standing. He grabbed onto her hand and pulled her closer to the door. “So how do you want it cut?”

The woman blushed and shrugged. Most of the women who come in for haircuts just want their hair cut by Koujaku, they don’t normally plan how they actually want their hair cut. Koujaku laughed and guided her to the chair inside of his shop.

* * *

 

“Are you sure I can leave early Haga-san?” Aoba questioned.

“Of course! It’s pretty slow today and you had a busy day yesterday.” He smiled. Aoba got up from his seat behind the counter and thanked his boss for letting him out of work an hour earlier than normal. Haga-san would occasionally allow this which made Aoba very thankful to have such a nice boss.

He walked out of the store and walked down to the hospital. It had become a daily routine after he left work, he would visit his boyfriend at the hospital. The nurses and doctors always greeted him warmly when he came in for the day.

Though Mizuki has yet to regain the ability to walk again, he has recuperated very quickly for what he went through. The doctors had no idea what happened to him the day he was brought in. The only one who knew exactly what happened was Aoba. He eventually explained and apologized to Mizuki for the pain he is going through now but he was more than forgiving.

Spending all that time in the hospital with Mizuki made Aoba realize how much he loves and cares for him. Without assessing the situation more, he had asked Mizuki to be his boyfriend. He agreed and all was good. That was until Aoba returned home. He laid in bed thinking about Mizuki and how much fun they would have once he gets out of the hospital.

He pictured all the dates they would go on. He pictured him and Mizuki just having lazy dates where they just cuddle, watch movies, and talk about whatever comes to mind. Then he remembered something. Aoba realized that he had been spending so much time with his old friend, Mizuki that he had completely forgotten about Noiz.

For the time at the Oval tower and the events leading up to it, Aoba was convinced that he was, in fact, in love with Noiz. After the fall of the tower and the increased visits to Mizuki, that realization faded. What Aoba never thought about was how Noiz would react. He knew that Noiz’s emotions could get unstable. Not in a way that’s necessarily seen by others, but in a way where it internally messed with him. Aoba remembered everything he had seen when he scrapped with Noiz.

Aoba knew that Noiz never opened up to anyone. He knew that he never let anyone in. He knew why Noiz liked to be alone. The most important thing Aoba knew was that Noiz had fallen in love with him, and that was why Noiz let Aoba see the more vulnerable side of him. Aoba felt a sense of guilt inside of him that night.

Every time he went to the hospital to visit Mizuki, he would glance over into Noiz’s room just to check on him. He always seemed to be in the same position, with the same facial expression. He would always look like he was staring at the dull colored wall in front of him with a bored or even lonely look on his face. Aoba always felt that slight pang of guilt come back each time he looked through that window.

Yesterday, he was in a hurry to visit Mizuki because of the increased work load. Aoba was unable to get out of work at his assigned time because of extra deliveries. He rushed into the room so Mizuki wouldn’t think that he had forgotten to come. Though he forgot to look in the window, he recalled hearing quite a commotion from the room. After the commotion had subsided and Aoba had to leave Mizuki due to the visiting hours rule, he decided to actually walk into Noiz’s room again.

He avoided eye contact with the blonde to avoid the extreme guilt that was building inside of him. Aoba glanced over at the table and noticed the flowers that he had brought him a month ago was still sitting on the table. The plant was long passed dead but there it was, sitting on the table like it was brand new.

Today, when the elevator doors opened up to the eighth floor, Aoba made a promise to himself to go talk to Noiz soon. He walked into Mizuki’s room and found he was sleeping.

“Sir, I’m sorry you are going to have to come back tomorrow. It’s been a while since he has gotten to sleep recently so please do not wake him.”

“S-sorry, I’ll leave.” Aoba smiled and walked out of the room. On his way out, he glanced into Noiz’s room and saw that the bed was empty. He opened the door anyway, walking inside the empty hospital room. He instinctively looked over at the table. The plant he had seen yesterday was missing as well.

“Do you know the man who stayed here?” The same nurse had followed Aoba into the room curiously. Aoba nodded slowly as he walked over to the window.

“Did he get discharged?”

“Not exactly.” Aoba turned around instantly, worry was shown blatantly on his face.

“What do you mean, not exactly?”

“He was due to be discharged in just over a week but when the nurses came to check on him this morning, he was missing.” 

“You mean, you lost a patient!? How does that happen?”

“We are still looking into it sir, but we believe he got up and left on his own. The alarm on the first floor of this wing sounded last night but no one could find him, all we found was a broken potted plant.”

“Oh.” Aoba couldn’t find words to express how he felt. He knew that he had hurt Noiz, but he still cared about him enough to try and bring a dead plant back home with him. He silently walked out of the room and headed home. On his way back home, he pulled out his coil and called Koujaku.

“Hello? Aoba?”

“Uh, Hey Koujaku, I hope you aren’t busy.”

“No, I just finished up. Anything wrong?”

“Can I ask you something?” Aoba frowned at his coil while he awaited a reply. There was a long silence, but Aoba knew that Koujaku wouldn’t hang up on him.

“….What is it?”

“Have you seen Noiz recently?” A long silence came in response to the question. Aoba remembered that Koujaku had asked about Noiz over dinner last night, so maybe he had seen him.  He also trusted Koujaku to tell him the truth, so he waited.

“I have.”

“What? Where!?”

“That bastard was asleep under my shop sign this morning. I don’t know where he went.”

“Was he okay?”

“You mean other than the fact that he was soaking wet, wearing clothes one size too small, smelled like alcohol, and slept on the sidewalk? Then yes, he was okay.”  Aoba growled irritably. He knew that Koujaku and Noiz never got along, so he was hoping they didn’t get into a fight.

“Well I meant to ask if he was hurt?”

“Physically? No.”

“Oi, what’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Well he seemed pretty angry about your relationship when I saw him at the hospital.”

“What?”

“……”

“Koujaku?”

“Hello?”

“Don’t ‘hello’ me, Koujaku. You visited Noiz at the hospital?”

“…….I did.” Aoba furrowed his eyebrows.  He realized that was what all the commotion was in his room yesterday.

“What did you do to him?”

“N-nothing. Aoba, I have to go.”

“Koujaku, wait.” Before he could finish, Koujaku had hung up. Aoba rolled his eyes, knowing that Koujaku was acting very weird lately. Nothing he did seemed like himself anymore. He still refused to lie to Aoba, but he did like to constantly change the subject when something he didn’t want to talk about came up.

The rest of the walk home was relatively silent. The only sounds were the  pitter patter of Ren’s paws on the sidewalk beside Aoba. Once he was home, he fished through his pockets to find his keys. He pulled it out and stuck it into the keyhole. Before he could turn the key, the door flung open to reveal a very angry Tae.

“How many times do I have to remind you!?”

“Ah! Granny! I forgot again….I’m sorry.” Aoba laughed awkwardly and walked into the house. He bent down to remove his shoes.

“Do you know how many times you have forgotten?”

“Granny, I’ll make sure it won’t happen again.”

* * *

 

“Are you sure, Noiz-san? You seem pretty beaten up already.” The man smirked and looked over Noiz.

“It’s only a few cuts, I’m used to it.” Noiz glared at the man when he pressed his hand against a large bruise on his back. Since he left Koujaku’s shop, he had gotten into a few fights. He had accidentally run into two people in a seemingly empty alleyway. It had been then when he asked them for a fight, knowing that they would be capable of giving him the pain he sincerely longed for.

Ever since he left the hospital, he had been unable to control his desire for pain. Since it was a new sensation for him, he longed it even more. Noiz felt that if he experienced physical pain, it would replace the fact that he had been left emotionally broken by Aoba. He had known that feeling of loneliness and the denial of appreciation from people he had once cared for and even loved. He knew that he had to feel something. Pain was the only thing he knew he could feel.

“We don’t fight like that, Noiz-san.” One man smiled and knelt down to reach eye level with Noiz. The second man sat beside Noiz, watching the two converse.

“Bullshit. You do fight.”

“What kind of person do you think I am?” The man grinned, almost evilly, like it was a threat, like it was an invitation. Noiz raised his fist and swung it forward to one of the man’s faces. He braced himself for the feeling of his fist connect with his jawbone, but he felt a strong hang grasp his wrist. The man sitting beside him glared at Noiz, refusing to unhand his wrist.

“I wouldn’t do that.” The man spoke.

“It’s alright Trip, he doesn’t know what he just started.” The man laughed. Trip smirked and released the grip he had on Noiz’s fist. Noiz leaped forward and tackled the man to the ground before Trip could hold him back. His fist connected to the man’s cheekbone and his glasses fell off his face.

“Virus, should I?”

“Not yet.” He grinned again despite the fact he had just been punched in the face. Noiz could admit that he didn’t punch him nearly as hard as he could have given that he was the one looking for pain. The punch was merely just provoking him to fight back. Noiz tilted his head in confusion when he never fought back nor did he make Trip fight back. He stood up and walked over to Trip, a new idea came to his mind.

Noiz moved over to face Trip. There were sounds of Virus getting up off the ground so he knew that he was watching. He grabbed onto Trip’s tie and kissed him hard. Immediately after the initiation of the kiss, he was pulled away and thrown back on the ground. Noiz let himself fall, his head hitting the ground when he landed. He looked up and saw Virus approaching him.

“What was that?”

“Didn’t I just kiss him?”  Virus knelt down over Noiz.

“Why?”

“He’s hot.” Noiz shrugged. His actual motive was to get a rise out of at least one of them. And then it happened. Virus slid off his jacket and handed it to Trip along with his tie.

“I’ll make you regret that.” Virus snapped his fingers and the sound of a large, slithering, creature came from the shadows.  Virus’ Allmate was apparently a large snake. It slithered over to Noiz and wrapped itself around his leg. Its grip on his leg tightened which made Noiz grit his teeth. “Noiz-san, I told you we don’t like to fight,” He sighed, “But you crossed the line.” His fist flew forward towards Noiz’s face, hitting him right in the bridge of his nose. The throbbing pains from his face made him laugh, encouraging Virus to do more.

“Virus.”

“Go ahead.” Trip then whistled and a loud roar echoed throughout the alleyway. The Lion emerged from behind Trip and slowly neared Noiz. He glanced down at the lion’s paws, widening his eyes at the sight of its long, pointy claws.

While he was preoccupied with the lion’s claws, the snake had sunk its fangs into Noiz’s thigh. Noiz gasped and reached out to grab the snake. Virus was right. He did regret this. He was looking for pain, sure, but he wasn’t looking to be mauled by a lion. There was a part of him who didn’t mind if the lion killed him, but there was another part of him that refused to get killed by those two pricks. The snake’s fangs dripped tiny drops of Noiz’s blood. It bit into his outstretched hand and curled around his arm.

The lion roared again, raising its claw up high. It stopped and awaited further instruction but kept its intimidating stance over Noiz. Trip walked over to his lion and pet his head gently.  He looked over at Virus and nodded.

“Now.” They commanded their animals in unison.  The lion threw down its claw, digging into Noiz’s chest with his claws. Hersha slithered and wrapped itself around Noiz’s neck, slowly squeezing at his throat.

Noiz shakily moved a hand to his chest and felt the blood oozing from his skin. He couldn’t help but peel away some of the skin from his chest. Trip whistled again to call his lion to return to him. The snake continued to close up Noiz’s throat.  Noiz started feeling lightheaded and his vision began to blur. The last thing he remembered was Virus laughing at him and Trip’s sly smirk staring down at him.

* * *

 

Koujaku groaned and sat down on his couch. He felt completely horrible for hanging up on Aoba, but he didn’t want to tell him why he visited Noiz. For that matter, he didn’t know exactly why he went through all that trouble. Sure he was upset about Aoba and Mizuki, but why go and make Noiz feel like shit about it. He was the reason Noiz escaped the hospital and he couldn’t help but worry about him now that he was on the streets.

He figured that Noiz was smart enough to go back to his house so he couldn’t possibly get into that much trouble. That’s all Noiz was. Trouble. If he wasn’t anything but trouble, why did Koujaku think about him so much? He pushed those questions from his mind for now. Figuring out the true answers to those was too much for him now.

He sighed, leaned back on the couch, and turned the television on. The news appeared on his screen, showing footage from Platinum Jail. There was a reporter standing next to the wreckage of the Oval Tower. Repairing the damage the enormous tower had caused had taken a great amount of time to clean up. Now there was only a small amount of remaining wreckage.

“Today marks one month since the fall of our glorious Oval Tower here in the center of Platinum Jail. The cause of the fall has yet to be identified and the only known footage of who may be accountable for such an act is still under observation.”

Koujaku turned up the volume, wondering if they actually did have footage of Aoba and Noiz running out of the tower. From stories he had heard from Aoba, Noiz had been hit by falling debris in the tower as they were trying to escape and he had to carry Noiz out of the tower. For a split second, Koujaku wondered why Aoba didn’t just leave him there. Then he realized that, though Noiz was the most annoying, pretentious, violent brat he had met, he would carrying him out as well.

* * *

 

_“Noiz! Come on!” Koujaku growled at the teen. He rushed behind him as they sprinted down the stairs of the Oval Tower. Noiz passed Koujaku when he had stopped for a moment to catch his breath._

_“Old man, don’t tell me to hurry if you’re going to take a nap.” He smirked. The whole tower was shaking, pieces of debris were rolling down the stairs as they ran from the top of the tower down to the ground level. They finally made it down the stairs and only had to make it out the door. Koujaku followed behind Noiz. He turned around to face Koujaku and jogged backwards, “Catch up or I’ll leave you here.” He laughed._

_Then a large piece of debris fell from the crumbling ceiling and landed right on Noiz. Koujaku heard a loud grunt and rushed over to him._

_“Noiz!” Despite their differences, Koujaku couldn’t just watch someone die, especially if he could have prevented it. Noiz started to laugh as he looked up at Koujaku. Blood seeped out of a large gash on his face._

_“This hurts.” He glanced over at his hand that looked like it had been crushed. His ankle had also looked bent in a way it shouldn’t have been. “Guess you gotta leave me here, old man.” He gave a weak grin. Koujaku shook his head and lifted the fallen debris off of Noiz. He picked Noiz up and threw him over his shoulder as he sprinted for the door. He had felt so exhausted prior to this, but he had gained much needed energy as he busted out of the falling building just in time. Right when they got out, the building had collapsed completely._

_He laid Noiz down on a grassy area outside of the tower, blocking out the extreme chaos around them. Noiz blinked and stared up at Koujaku._

_“Why did you save me?” Koujaku looked away from Noiz. Leading up to the tower incident, they had fought verbally and physically every time they had been in the same area. Everyone had assumed that they hated each other._

_“Aoba would have been angry with me if I didn’t protect you.”_

_“Sure, that was the reason. You were just hoping I would have sex with you if you saved me because you can’t get any from Aoba.” He laughed, still ignoring the sting of various cuts on his body. Koujaku leaned down and kissed Noiz instead of spitting out some heinous retort. Noiz’s lips were soft, kissing him back and his tongue pushed into Koujaku’s mouth. He felt Noiz’s tongue piercing against the roof of his mouth and occasionally heard it click against his teeth._

_Koujaku reluctantly pulled away from the kiss and noticed that his hands had wandered under Noiz’s shirt and onto his bare chest. Noiz felt Koujaku poke and touch all his new cuts and bruises, but his touch was gentle. Koujaku blushed and looked away from Noiz._

_“I knew you just wanted to get in my pants.” He rolled his eyes and poked Koujaku in the stomach with his good hand._

_“That’s not the reason! Maybe it’s because I actually like you.”_

_“You do?” Noiz’s eyes widened and started laughing._

_“What? No. Do you like me?”_

_“Why would I like an old man?” Koujaku’s felt his heart sink. He just about confessed that he liked Noiz and he didn’t return the feeling._

* * *

 

Koujaku woke up on the floor.

He had fallen off the couch in his sleep. Sleep. He realized that everything that had just happened was just a dream. Koujaku sat up and contemplated the meaning of the dream. He was the kind of person who didn’t frequently remember his dreams, so when he did it had to mean something important.

Why did he dream of kissing Noiz?

Why did he dream of confessing attraction to Noiz?

He was just a brat who irritated him every time he saw him. He spent well over an hour sitting on the floor contemplating this very dream. He had only had the dream once, so maybe it was just because he had been watching the news about the fall of the Oval Tower.  Koujaku quickly grabbed his coil and called Aoba. It rang and rang, but Aoba never picked up.

He sat back, wondering if Aoba had really been that angry with him. Aoba never ignored Koujaku’s call unless he was extremely busy. Koujaku looked at the time and realized that Aoba was probably at work. He decided to leave a message and hope for the best.

“Aoba. I know you’re busy but something has happened and I would like to talk to you about it as soon as possible.”  Koujaku sat in silence for a few moments before Aoba called back. “Aoba.”

“Koujaku? What happened?”

“Are you at work?”

“Yeah, but I’m leaving in an hour. What happened?” His voice started to sound more irritated.

“Come over after work.”

“Koujaku, I haven’t seen Mizuki since Wednesday.”

“This won’t take long, I promise.”

“Then why don’t you tell me now?”

“You’re at work.”

“Urgh, fine. See you in an hour.” Aoba growled and hung up. Koujaku always seemed to cringe at the sound of Aoba saying Mizuki’s name. It always reminded him that Aoba liked Mizuki better than him.

* * *

 

Noiz awoke in his own bed. He had known that he passed out in the alleyway several blocks from his house earlier. How did he get back here? There was no way that Virus and Trip would even bother to carry him back to his house even if they knew where it was. That led to the even weirder part. No one knew where he lived.

He sat up quickly and a sharp pain flowed from his chest down his spine. Noiz had been cut up, bruised, and sore from the fights had had last night. A white bandage was wrapped nicely around the leg that the snake had bitten. In confusion, Noiz looked over his body and realized that all of his wounds were bandaged up. The large claw mark across his chest still hurt when he moved but it was tightly bandaged up in a large, white bandage.

When he stood up from his bed, his body was filled with a dull pain each time he took a step with his injured leg. Noiz slowly hobbled over to his bathroom which, like the rest of his house, was in almost pristine condition. He rarely spends any time in his home aside from sleeping. He flipped on the light switched and stared at himself in the mirror. The marks on his neck from the snake’s body were still very present and were not covered up at all. His right eye started to swell from Virus' punch. There was a long, thin cut reaching from his left temple to the right corner or his top lip. Noiz wondered what exactly gave him that cut, but anything could have happened once he passed out in that alley.

Noiz wandered to his living room and it too was still in the near-perfect condition he had left it in before he had left for the Oval Tower with Aoba. He noticed that the front door of the apartment had been open wide this entire time. It wasn’t like that until last night, he knew for a fact. Well, maybe he didn’t. Someone could have broken into and have been living in his apartment the entire time he had been in the hospital, but the home seemed barely lived in, as he had left it.

The umbrella holder by the door was always empty. Noiz couldn’t remember a time where he even owned an umbrella. Sometimes when he was bored and paced around his living room, he would think about that holder. At times, he would stare at it until he figured out why he had an umbrella holder in the first place. He always figured he bought just because he could and it was unimportant anyway. But this time, there was something different about it. There was actually an umbrella inside it.

Noiz picked up the transparent umbrella and opened it up. He knew that he had seen an umbrella like this before, but he forgot where he had seen it. He shrugged and put the umbrella back into the holder and returned to his room.  Noiz opened his closet and pulled out new clothes to wear. His outfit covered a majority of his injuries, the marks on his neck were mostly covered by the collar of his shirt.

Once he was dressed, he walked out the door. Noiz made sure he shut and locked the door upon his departure. He chose to walk around the city aimlessly until he either found something of interest or he was tired enough to return home. As the sun began to set, he noticed a crowd of people beginning to form in one of the larger alleyways. Noiz shrugged and decided to follow until he was within earshot of what the crowd was chanting.

“Usui! Usui! Usui! Usui!” The chant grew louder as he neared the alleyway. Rhyme. It has been a long time since Noiz had played Rhyme and he secretly missed it. He considered quitting once he got closer with Aoba, but none of that mattered now.

Noiz turned and sprinted in the opposite direction, away from the Usui. The Rhyme server initiated and an unsuspecting Rhyme player was dragged in. Noiz smirked as the field displayed around him. Drive-by’s were way too easy to start and way too easy to win. His Usagimodoki flipped out of his hand and transformed into its Rhyme form.  The army of rabbits appeared and formed a line in front of him.

Noiz looked over his opponent before attacking. The man was very active in Rhyme games and won a great amount of games. His Allmate was a cat which had an extensive amount of armor and modifications to fight in Rhyme. ‘Rhyme name: Tornado’ Noiz had seen this player compete in Rhyme and knew his weaknesses. This would have been an easy match if Noiz hadn’t suffered from the injuries he had the previous day. Drive-By’s usually have little to no restrictions and the losers of each match end up seriously injured. 

“Demolition Set!”

“Roger!”

His Allmate ordered to attack the opponent. Though his attacks were as strong as they have always been, his defense was weaker than usual. Tornado didn’t take much damage from the attack due to the great amount armor his Allmate had. His opponent attacked without hesitation, like he had experience with drive-bys. The attack hit, 60% damage. Noiz grit his teeth and took the attack. The last time he had been in a no limitations Rhyme match was against Aoba before he went to the Oval Tower.

The pain surged throughout his body, his head throbbed relentlessly as he ordered his Allmate to attack once more.

“Loss Set!”

“Roger!”

They sprung into action again. This attack left a significant amount of damage to his competitor.  Noiz smirked and watched the Tornado think about his next move.  Before anyone could order another attack, the other man began to laugh. It was almost as if he was the one who dragged Noiz into the drive-by just for the sheer enjoyment of dominating him.

“Who does this guy think he is?” The other man ordered his next attack and his Allmate sprang to action. The attack hit Noiz and his body lurched backwards. He felt dizzy, staring up at the Rhyme field.

“Alert! Alert! Withdraw!” Noiz heard Usagimodoki announce before watching the Rhyme field disperse completely. Tornado disappeared, leaving Noiz in yet another alleyway. He sat up quickly, feeling the pain shoot from his head to the rest of his body. Each time he tried to stand, the increasing pain would immobilize him, causing him to sit alone in the alleyway until the damage from the match subsided.

The boredom got to him over time. Noiz began to unwrap the bandages he had around his chest. He felt the wound with his fingers, feeling the sting when he pressed hard enough. The cut was deep and had only begun to heal. The wound on his hand was less sensitive. It was only two tiny holes where the snake had sunk its teeth into. His leg was different. The snake bite on his leg was deeper than the one on his hand, almost biting through to the other side of his thigh. By the looks of it, the one on his chest would most likely need stitches. Noiz knew how to stitch up lacerations because he had done it countless times after fights if the cut was bad enough. Most of the time, he left wounds unattended because he barely cared if they scarred or if they never healed right.

* * *

 

“Koujaku! I’ve been knocking for five minutes!” Aoba yelled from the door. Koujaku rubbed his eyes and sat up from his spot on the couch. When he finally noticed the knocking, he jumped up and answered the door.

“Yo, Aoba.”  Aoba’s eyes narrowed at Koujaku, angry at the fact that he nonchalantly answered the door even when expressing the so-called urgent discussion they needed to have. Aoba just shook his head.

“Let me inside. What’s so important?”  Koujaku didn’t say anything. All he did was sit down on the couch next to Aoba and took a deep breath. He thought of different ways this conversation could play out and different ways he could begin to talk about the situation.

“Alright, so I was taking a nap earlier today.” Aoba nodded to show he was intently listening to the story. “I had this dream where I went to the Oval Tower with Noiz instead of you.” Aoba snickered.

“So you and Noiz knocked down the tower? This should be good.”

“Please, comments and questions at the end.”

“Sorry, sorry.”

“So the Oval Tower was falling down and we were running down the stairs. Right near the exit, debris fell on top of Noiz, you know, like you told me because it actually happened.” All Aoba replied with was a nod in order to honor Koujaku’s ‘no comments or questions until the end ‘ rule. Koujaku always hated when people interrupted his stories so Aoba knew the drill. “Noiz told me to leave him behind but I carried him out anyway. When we made it out, we were laying on the ground and I kissed him.” Aoba’s eyes widened and looked like he was forcing himself not to question him or say anything. “And I thought that was weird enough, but then I told him that I liked him which is even worse. Aoba do you know what any of this means?”

“Maybe you do like Noiz.” Koujaku frowned and squinted at Aoba.

“That can’t be it.”

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t know!” Koujaku sounded frustrated. His first conclusion to the dream was maybe he did have a thing for Noiz. There was no way he would ever want that to happen because in reality, he was nothing but a douche. Koujaku had warmed up to Noiz slightly after he learned that Aoba and Noiz were no longer going to be together. He had always been overprotective around Aoba because they were best friends. When he first met Noiz, he was angry because of the drive-by Rhyme match and the fact that he broke into his house. Ever since then he had gotten into quarrels with the teen in order to keep him away from Aoba.

Now that Aoba and Noiz are a thing of the past, Koujaku knew that he didn’t need to watch over Noiz’s actions. At least, that’s what he thought. For some reason, he found himself growing more attached to what Noiz was doing which led to the hospital visit. Koujaku couldn’t figure out where he and Noiz stand now that he wasn’t trying to protect Aoba, but he found himself trying his hardest to find out.

“I think you do. When was the last time you saw him?”

“Yesterday morning when I found him under my sign. There is no way I like Noiz. He is a terrible, irritating, aggravating, troublesome teenager who should stop getting in the way of other people’s lives.”

“Fine. You don’t like him.” Aoba sighed, “I have to get to the hospital, maybe if you actually see Noiz in person, you can figure out your dream.”  Aoba got up and walked towards the door. Koujaku waved and watched his friend leave.

There was no way he liked Noiz like that. The conclusion he finally reached was that the only reason he had that dream and why he feels so attached to Noiz is because they both share nearly the same fate. They both have to watch Aoba love someone else. Koujaku always routed his problems to his failed attempt of getting Aoba to go out with him. That’s what he told himself the day he went to visit Noiz in the hospital. He wanted to go and bond with someone who understood how he felt. After convincing himself that it was the best answer to his question, he decided to go for a walk.

The sun was just barely visible over the buildings. Koujaku heard quick footsteps behind him. As he turned, there were about twenty people running in the same direction. He grabbed one of the man’s arms and gave him a curious look.

“Where are you coming from?”

“Akushima shut down another Rhyme match, we have to go!” Koujaku let go of him and let him catch up with the rest of the runners. The mention of Rhyme reminded him of Noiz. He continued to walk down the street and couldn’t help but think that he was being followed.

He turned around and found nothing but empty sidewalk. The sun had finally set, ridding the sidewalk of any shadows if anyone was in fact following him. As he walked, he still couldn’t shake that feeling. Koujaku turned quickly to see a small cube bouncing down the sidewalk behind him. He bent over to pick it up, but it only bounced backwards out of his reach. Each time Koujaku leaned down to grab it, the cube would bounce further backwards.

Koujaku remembered that cube from somewhere, but it was too dark for him to confirm if his suspicion was true or not. He followed the cube to the entrance of a narrow alleyway. Once it got there, it just bounced up and down in one spot. Koujaku caught the cube and brought it closer to his face. Then he heard a voice that he would recognize anywhere.

“I hope you don’t think that I’m going to let you keep that.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter pretty quickly because I did not want to keep anyone waiting any longer. Though there are a few things I still feel are weird about it, I'm happy with this chapter for the most part.
> 
> Also this chapter made me question whether or not I should add time stamps to each break, if you guys want me to add those I will!


	3. Liar Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noiz recovers and looks for trouble. Clear causes a huge misunderstanding that might help out Koujaku big time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took too long, I was being super lazy and I'm so sorry

Noiz stood slowly, using the brick wall beside him as a support. His mouth was fixed into a wry smile as he stared back at Koujaku. A low, sarcastic chuckle escaped his lips when he noticed Koujaku’s inability to keep eye contact with him.

“What are you doing here?” Koujaku finally spoke, watching Noiz take a shaky step closer to him. He watched Noiz carefully, looking at him up and down and wondering why he was acting so strange. He knew Noiz was a strange person, but the way he was moving was far too different.

“Are you following me?” Noiz disregarded the first question and threw one back at Koujaku. The question took Koujaku by surprise.

“Why would I want to follow you?” Noiz replied with a small shrug before cringing at the quick movement. In the dark alleyway, Noiz seemed completely fine other than the black eye that began to form after the punch. Koujaku grabbed Noiz by the arm and pulled him out to the empty sidewalk.  This side of town was rarely busy after sun down.

Noiz tensed up at the sudden pull of his arm and groaned quietly when Koujaku squeezed on the bandage wrapped carefully around his hand.  Under the streetlight, Koujaku could see Noiz a lot better than the dim alley. He noticed the bandage wrapped around the hand he had grabbed and released it immediately. There were marks on his neck that looked as if he had been strangled. Koujaku reached his hand up to trace the cut Noiz had across his face. His hand was slapped away before he made contact with the skin and he retracted his hand from Noiz’s face.

Koujaku noticed Noiz was shaking a little, almost as if it pained him to stand in front of him. The two stared at each other in the silence while Koujaku tried to figure out exactly why he was acting this way. Noiz felt the pain from Rhyme surge up and down his spine and throughout his entire body. The growing intensity of pain flowing to every inch of his body made it even harder to stand before Koujaku. Most of the pain, which was built up in his head, throbbed relentlessly, almost begging him to drop dead.

Noiz knew the consequences of losing a Drive-by. He knew that the losers barely made it out alive. He was lucky this time. The injuries he had suffered had not been as hard-hitting as they potentially could have been. He thought about possible outcomes and death was the biggest answer. Noiz didn’t want to get killed by some poser named Tornado. He realized that each time he thought about dying, he had been okay with it. Noiz knew that no one would give a shit if he died, so he almost welcomed the idea of death into his life. There were many times where he was on the brink of death and didn’t mind what happened. Lately he had begun to judge the situation and secretly hope that he would die a better death. Noiz didn’t want to die at the hands of someone else. Unless it was for someone he cared about. Part of him wanted his death to mean something.

The throbbing pain in his head turned to dizziness. Noiz blinked constantly, trying to see something clearly in front of him. Noiz felt his eyelids grow heavier each time he blinked. He grabbed desperately for a wall or something solid enough to support him enough so he could regain his balance.

When he opened his eyes again, he was moving. Noiz rubbed his eyes and looked up to see just how he was moving. Koujaku held Noiz in his arms and raced down the dark sidewalk. They approached the busier side of town and received questioning stares and a few gasps along the way. Noiz stared up at Koujaku and wondered why he was helping him. So what if he passed out in the street again, he’s done it before. He decided not to question it because he refused to be left in the territory of Koujaku’s Rib team alone. Sure he would have loved to take them on but he was far too exhausted and injured to deal with them.

Koujaku slowed to a brisk walk as he neared the destination. Noiz glanced over at the dim light glowing through the window of a nearby house.

“Can you walk?”

“Yeah. You didn’t need to carry me.”

“Yes I did.”

“I was fine.” Noiz rolled his eyes.

“No you weren’t. You could barely stand, and you blacked out”

“Whatever.” Noiz looked away and ended the conversation. Koujaku sat Noiz down on the sidewalk while he unlocked the door to his house. Feeling a lot less dizzy, Noiz rose to his feet and began to walk in the opposite direction. Before he could get very far, Koujaku grabbed his arm and sighed.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“Let go of me.” Noiz pulled in the attempt to be released from Koujaku’s grip. His resistance was futile, leaving him to capitulate to Koujaku. Noiz was dragged into Koujaku’s home by the exact same arm he had been gabbed by earlier. The door slammed behind him as Koujaku released his grip. 

Koujaku’s house was tidy, though messier than Noiz had envisioned. Not that he thought about the old man’s living quarters often. From the front door, there was a nice view of his living room and kitchen. The living room was simple. A television pushed against the west wall surrounded by a large couch and two smaller armchairs on either side. 

The couch had two throw pillows, one for each side. One of the pillows was neatly in place on one end of the dull-colored couch. The other pillow was on the ground beside the couch as if it was thrown or slept on. 

The kitchen had the potential to be a nice room. The sink had been filled with dishes and from the looks of it, they have been there for a while. The silver and black granite countertops were cluttered with an array of items that were unnecessarily placed in the kitchen. Noiz cringed at the clutter, realizing that Koujaku isn’t as perfect as he tries to make people believe. 

Noiz stood and stared around the house, judging every nook and cranny he could from his spot in front of the door. He noticed three smudges that resembled finger prints on one of the windows in the living room. He wondered what Koujaku was thinking of when he left them there, when he left them there, or if Koujaku was even the one who left those smudges.

It reminded him of when he was little. He spent countless hours unattended in his room. Noiz would always pace around his confined space like an animal in a zoo. He would always find something out of place or unclean and decided to fix it. Leaving him with little to do always gave him ample time for him to come up with his own kind of entertainment. With the lack of recognition and attention from those who weren’t hired to take care of him, he found amusement in organizing misplaced items and paying much attention to small details. But now, Noiz didn’t spend nearly as much time staring at everything misplaced or untidy about something, nonetheless, old habits don’t die so easily. 

"Did you hear anything I said?" Noiz shook his head and blinked twice before he even began to try and recall anything Koujaku had said. With a sigh, Koujaku repeated himself, "I just said, I have to talk to you so go sit on the couch while I go and get something to drink." Noiz just nodded, walking slowly to the couch he had been staring at earlier. 

The couch was too soft. He felt himself sink down much more than he had imagined he would. The long couch felt more like a bed than an actual couch. Noiz yawned instinctively and lay down on the couch, head resting on the single pillow remaining on the couch. 

When Koujaku returned to the living room, he carefully placed down his cup of tea and sat in the chair on the left of the couch. He cleared his throat and Noiz felt Koujaku’s eyes fixed on him. 

"So what did you want and when can I go home?" Noiz rolled his eyes. He didn’t necessarily want to go home, he was far too drained and tired from previous event that he had nearly given up the thought of ever moving again. The only problem was, he was at Koujaku’s house. Noiz would rather be anywhere but in this house, but he knew for some reason, it would be useless to try and leave now. 

"You aren’t leaving until tomorrow, you still look horrible."

"I don’t want to stay the night here."

"You think I want you here either, brat?"

"Then why did you bring me here in the first place?"

"Because you were going to pass out on the street!" 

"So?"

"So that’s dangerous."

"But it shouldn’t matter to you what I do." 

"Sometimes it does, okay?" Noiz raised an eyebrow. 

"When?"

"Well." Koujaku paused and picked up his cup from the table. He took a sip slowly before he continued, "Aoba wanted me to talk to you about something." 

"Hm?" Noiz yawned again, his exhaustion finally taking over his enervated body as he started to lose consciousness. 

"He…he wanted me to tell you about a dream I had about you." 

"Mhmm." Noiz only heard quiet mumbles, almost unaware there were even others around him. Koujaku stood up and walked closer to Noiz angrily.

"Are you ignoring me aga-oh." He ended his sentence in a quiet whisper. He just now realized that Noiz had fallen asleep. With a sigh, he went back to his own room so he could sleep as well. 

As he lay in bed, he couldn’t help but think about Noiz. He was so frustrating to handle, yet he welcomed him into his home. Koujaku felt the strangest urge to befriend the little brat ever since Aoba announced his new relationship with Mizuki. Why this strong urge to befriend someone he had felt that he hated for such a long time. His Rib team didn’t even get along with the Ruff Rabbits or anyone associated with them. Why now? 

* * *

 

When Koujaku woke in the morning, he stood up and made his way to the kitchen as per usual. He had never once slept in anything more than just his boxers, which still held true even when he had company over. Noiz wasn’t just any old company though. To be polite, each time he had left his bedroom in the morning, he would throw on a scarlet bathrobe to cover up a little. Today he forgot.

 

Koujaku yawned and opened the fridge. The cold air from the appliance made him shiver, but the door was only open long enough for Koujaku to grab the carton of milk. Once he made himself a bowl of cereal, he heard a creak in the floor. He immediately stood from his seat at the kitchen table and remembered the exact events of last night.

 

He remembered his attempt to speak to Noiz about his feelings. They weren’t really feelings. They were more like thoughts. Aoba thought the reason why Koujaku even dreamed of kissing Noiz and saving his life was because he liked him. As embarrassed as it would make him, he knew that he had to speak to Noiz about the events in an attempt to reason with him and hopefully befriend him. The thought of befriending Noiz was still completely foreign to Koujaku and a huge part of him even wondered why he was bothering to try and do this in the first place. He wanted nothing to do with him and everything to do with him at the same time.

 

Koujaku peeked into the living room cautiously, only to find not only no Noiz but also a neater room. Both pillows were neatly placed back in their spots on the couch and the cup of tea Koujaku had left on the coffee table had disappeared. Koujaku growled, at first believing that Noiz had stolen the glass. He rolled his eyes and turned back to the kitchen. What he didn’t notice earlier, was the glass that had been missing from the living room, now sitting on the countertop. When he picked it up, he found that the cup was completely clean. Noiz was a strange person, indeed.

 

* * *

 

 

It has been two weeks since Koujaku had welcomed Noiz into his home. It has been two weeks since Koujaku had spoken to or even seen Noiz. Koujaku found himself thinking less and less of Noiz, slowly becoming less obsessed with the teen’s whereabouts. That was the greatest feeling in the world. Because of the lack of Noiz-related thoughts, Koujaku felt himself calm down. He no longer worried about running into the blond nor did he constantly question his motives for wanting to spend time around Noiz.

 

This illusion he had thought up that he had actually wanted to spend time with Noiz faded into the nothingness it started as. Koujaku spent the previous weeks working at his shop, cutting hair, and spending more than enough time with his fellow Benishigure members. Occasionally, he would see Aoba pass by his shop hastily to make it to the post office before it closed. Koujaku would always wave in his general direction but Aoba never waved back. Koujaku hoped it was because Aoba had not been paying full attention to him and not because he was growing tired of him.

 

Koujaku flipped the sign over to signify that he was closed for the day. He walked down the sidewalk, breathing in the chilly evening air. Fall was always a favorite of Koujaku’s. He loved the colors associated with the season and enjoyed the final moments of clear sidewalks. No matter how much others enjoyed it, Koujaku never liked winter. The snow was a nuisance and the low temperatures left Koujaku shivering and watching carefully as his breath became visible in front of him. The best thing about winter was the fact that less people left their houses. His business never suffered and crime rates fell slightly during the winter.

The sudden thoughts of winter made Koujaku think of Noiz again. He wondered what happens with Rhyme in the winter. He imagined the increase amount of drive-by’s, leaving the victims passed out in snow banks and freezing to death. He feared for the innocent passer-bys and hoped those who initiate drive-by Rhyme matches weren’t too heartless. As he walked, he looked over into an alleyway. He suddenly imagined Noiz.

He remembered his disoriented state and his stumbling steps. Koujaku imagined walking down the snow covered sidewalks and approaching a body thrown into an icy snow bank. The body seemed lifeless but as he walked closer, the body’s chest raised ever so slightly to show that the person was alive. The body had been covered in a good amount of clothes, but the snow had almost completely soaked into the fabric, making his skin ice cold.

Koujaku shook his head and figured that he had just been paranoid. Winter was still quite far away and he believed that Noiz could just as easily take care of himself. His walk home became longer when he realized that while he was lost in his thoughts, he had missed the street he originally walked down to get home. Instead of turning around, he continued forward, trying to find the fastest route home.

“Koujaku-san? How interesting, you never come this way.” A voice called from behind him. When he turned around, a familiar duo greeted him. Virus smiled sincerely at Koujaku, hand gently intertwined with Trip’s. The two always acted like a couple, but if you asked them, they would get offended.

“I missed the street I normally go down.” Koujaku frowned, “So what are you calling yourselves now?” He gestured towards the two’s linked hands. They looked at each other questionably and cleared their throats at the same time.

“We are associates.” “We’re acquaintances” They spoke at the same time. The stared at each other and tried again.

“We’re friends.” “We are boyfriends.” Virus’ words seemed to shock even Trip. From the looks of it, they never referred to each other as boyfriends before.

“Virus?” Virus kept his gaze focused anywhere but on Trip. It seemed as if he let that boyfriend thing slip. Koujaku kept himself composed, fighting the urge to laugh at the couple’s expense. Virus just nodded slowly.

“Trip, we’ll talk about this later. We should go.” Virus turned around and pulled Trip along with him without a goodbye or another word on the matter. Once they rounded the corner, Koujaku let out the laugh he had been holding in. Virus was always calm, composed, and even condescending every time he opened his mouth. This time, he looked embarrassed and even a little awkward. It was weird to see them act so differently.

Koujaku continued on his way until he made it back home. He checked his coil and found that he had a missed call from Aoba. He quickly redialed the number and hoped Aoba picked up.

“Hey.” The voice sounded nothing like Aoba. Koujaku checked his coil again only to see that he did in fact dial Aoba’s number. Aoba’s name was displayed brightly in front of him, it wasn’t a mistake.

“Who is this?”

“Meet me in the alleyway next to the Black Needle.”

“Who is this?!” Instead of getting an answer, the line went dead. Koujaku filled with rage quickly, hoping nothing bad happened to Aoba. Whoever this was had him. Koujaku shoved his coil back into his pocket and sprinted out the door.

Though it was well past ten at night, there were many people walking down the street on this side of town. He weaved around people, jumped over signs, and maneuvered around everything scattered on the sidewalk. Eventually, he made it to the Black Needle. 

It had been on a corner, often populated by the countless members of Dry Juice. They usually hung around outside in the alleyway next to the bar. The same alley the voice told him to go. Koujaku walked cautiously into the area, not knowing exactly what he should expect. As he walked deeper into the alley, Koujaku noticed a figure sitting on the large staircase with the word “Dry Juice” sprayed on it. In the darkness, he could not make out the figure. The only conclusion he came to was that the figure was absolutely not Aoba. 

"You actually came." The figure spoke. That voice. He recognized it, cursing himself for not being able to figure out the identity of the caller while he was speaking to him on the phone. 

"Noiz, where’s Aoba?"

"Aoba? Who knows. He’s probably at home." 

"H-he’s not here?"

"Why would he be here?"

"You called from his number." Koujaku folded his arms angrily. This wasn’t a time for Noiz to act like this. Aoba could still be in danger. Even if he wasn’t, he didn’t want Aoba involved in Noiz’s antics.

 

“I didn’t. I swapped the numbers in your coil two weeks ago, remember?” Noiz stepped down the stairs and moved closer to Koujaku. His furious eyes glowered at Noiz, forcing himself not to throw a punch at the blond. He watched the smirk spread across Noiz’s face, knowing that he knew that Koujaku was holding himself back. “You want to hit me? Hit me.” The devious look on his face outraged Koujaku even further.

 

Noiz watched Koujaku as he desperately tried to keep himself from unraveling. The way his fists were clenched and the way he grit his teeth showed that Koujaku was bursting at the seams. He knew that the only reason Koujaku came here was for Aoba and with the growing disappointment and deceit, he was beyond annoyed. From the looks of it, Koujaku was getting better and started to cool off. Noiz knew that wasn’t any good, he was looking for a fight.

 

For the past two weeks, Noiz had rarely gotten into trouble. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he figured he should regain his full strength before looking for trouble. He wasn’t going to leave that alleyway without getting what he wanted, so he had to pull something out of his sleeve.  An image flashed in his head, reminding him of the last intense fight he had been in. He remembered how he got Virus to punch him.

 

Noiz let out a low, raspy laugh as he grabbed onto Koujaku’s kimono and pulled him so their faces almost collided. He saw the confusion, fear, and growing anger on his face and felt the numerous pulls, tugs, and kicks to get out of his grasp. Before Koujaku could speak a coherent word, Noiz closed the gap between their faces, connecting his lips to Koujaku’s. Noiz’s grip wasn’t as binding once their lips touched, but he kept a firm hold on the old man.

 

The shock of the situation caused Koujaku to freeze for a moment. Once he got back into reality and realized what was actually happeneing, he panicked. Noiz was kissing him. What was even worse, he felt himself kissing back and even grabbing at the fabric of Noiz’s shirt. Being kissed back confused Noiz and almost made him give up on his endeavor. He rubbed his tongue piercing across Koujaku’s lips and his tongue was surprisingly welcomed into the other man’s mouth. Koujaku felt Noiz’s tongue push into his mouth and retaliated by rubbing his tongue against the inside of Noiz’s cheek.

 

With the growing intensity of the kiss, Koujaku started to push Noiz backwards towards the brick wall of the Black Needle. Noiz’s eyes shot open, refusing to let Koujaku control him. He pushed back at Koujaku, nudging him towards the opposite wall. The two pushed back and forth, refusing to give in. After what seemed like an hour of back and forth, Koujaku broke the kiss and stared at Noiz with the same confusion he had before the kiss.

 

“My house?” Noiz breathed and watched Koujaku carefully. The words escaped his lips without thinking and before he knew it, Koujaku nodded and was pulling him out of the alleyway. Once out on the sidewalk, Noiz started to walk back to his apartment. Koujaku followed him. Noiz threw the door open and dragged Koujaku in after him. The door closed with a slam and Koujaku felt his body being pushed against the front door. Before he could protest, Noiz’s lips met his again and it seemed as if nothing mattered.

 

“Huuuaahhhh!??” The sudden screech forced both of them to look in the direction of the sound and jump away from each other almost immediately. Neither of them liked each other and neither of them even understood why they were doing what they were doing at that moment anyway. “Noiz-san and Koujaku-san are dating? That’s very interesting, I wonder what Master thinks!” Clear bounced into the room gleefully. That’s who was staying in his apartment for so long. Noiz knew that he should have linked the transparent umbrella to Clear in the first place.

 

“Um….Clear was it?” Koujaku started to speak. Clear answered the question with a quick nod. “We are not dating. Nothing was happening so no need to tell Aoba about it okay?” Koujaku waved and made a beeline for the door.

 

“Noiz-san, what’s going on?” Noiz couldn’t see his face, but the sound of his voice sounded confused or even sad.

 

“Nothing. Why are you in my apartment?”

 

“Oooo! I’m so sorry Noiz-san. I thought it would be okay to stay here if I kept it clean and didn’t touch anything while you were gone!” Clear’s hands flew up to cover his eyes, which still seemed weird since his entire face was covered all the time. Noiz just shook his head and let it be. It was too late, he had already been through more than he ever planned to tonight, and adding another problem to the list was too much for now. Without another look at Clear, he headed off into his bedroom for the night. Forget about Koujaku. That’s all Noiz wanted to do.

 

He had no idea why he brought it that far. Was he really that desperate to feel something?

* * *

 

 

“Master! Master!~” A voice shouted from the rooftops. Aoba stepped out onto his veranda, only to be greeted by a very excited Clear.

“Clear? How did you get up on that roof?”

“Oh! That’s easy!” Clear stood up, closed his umbrella, and tucked it back into his coat. “You just look at the building you want to go on aaaaaand” Clear bent his knees and jumped from the roof across the street to Aoba’s veranda. Aoba gasped and reached towards Clear.

“Clear! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Master.” He cheerfully replied and pushed his way into Aoba’s bedroom. With a curious look on his face, Aoba followed Clear and sat down on his bed. Clear stood politely in the middle of Aoba’s room, refusing to sit before he was offered the option.

“Do you want to sit?” Clear nodded and sat beside Aoba.

“I have important news to tell Master.”

“What is it this time?”

“I saw Koujaku-san and Noiz-san last night.” Aoba nodded, “They were acting very strange like they were hiding a secret.”

“They were probably just pissed off at each other.” Aoba shrugged and laid down on his back.

“Hm….I never thought what they were doing was called fighting.” Clear put a finger to the side of his head like he was thinking. Aoba sat up quickly, curious of the reason as to why else Koujaku and Noiz would be together. “Well I guess their tongues could have been fighting but that’s a different way to put it. Maybe they were competing in a contest.”

“What!?”

“Maybe they were competing in a contest!” Clear shouted louder so Aoba could hear it.

“No! I can hear you. They were…..kissing?”

“Yes! They seemed very intimate, but I can’t understand why they wanted to keep their relationship a secret.”

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa.” Aoba took a deep breath in through his nose and out of his mouth. “They are dating?”

“Yes.”

“They were kissing?”

“Yes.”

“They didn’t want to tell anyone?”

“Yes. Direct quote from Koujaku-san, ‘Nothing was happening so no need to tell Aoba about it okay?’”

“Koujaku is keeping secrets from me?”

“It seems like it.”

“Thank you for telling me, Clear, I really appreciate it. I have to go see Koujaku now.” Aoba shot up from his seat and rushed for the door.

“Master! You can’t!” Clear followed him quickly and collapsed by his feet. He reached for Aoba’s ankles, pulling him back into the room. “If you tell Koujaku-san, he’ll know I told you.”

“I have to talk to him about this, Clear. I promise he won’t be mad at you.” Clear released his hold on Aoba’s ankles and rose to his feet immediately.

“Thank you, Master. I should be going now.”

* * *

 

The room was dark. The lighting here had always been dim, but it was darker than usual. It had been a while since he’s been in this room.  It was quiet. For now, at least. This was one place he never hoped to return. The only positive detail was that the door was always opened and he was not restrained. He could leave whenever he wished. He wanted to leave. He knew that he could leave. The thing keeping him inside was fear. Though fear had become less and less prominent in his daily life, it still haunted him in the back of his mind. The relentless feeling of fear bared its fangs and took back control of his world.

This fear he had, it probably sounded stupid to other people. Noiz knew that this fear was stupid. As stupid as anyone thought it was, he still refused to face that fear. He had always feared a sense of total abandonment or isolation. He always isolated himself on purpose in most situations. He knew that’s what everyone else would have wanted anyway. The feeling of abandonment hit him very hard as a child and he refused to feel that way again.

That was his whole reason why he never wanted to get close to Aoba. Having dreams reoccur where he was lying in the middle of a dim or even pitch black room, knowing that no one cared about him. Now he couldn’t care less about most people’s opinions, but once he grew attached, the abandonment nearly killed him. Noiz hadn’t had this dream in days. He figured that he was over this and he was a stronger person. He thought wrong.

Noiz woke up in a cold sweat to the sound of loud, pounding knocks at his door. He rolled over in his bed to ignore them. They were persistent. He stood up slowly, still wrapped in all the blankets from his bed and waddled his way over to the door. When he opened it, he was less than shocked but still terribly confused.

 

* * *

 

The door opened to a very irritated looking Aoba. Without a word, Koujaku stepped aside and allowed Aoba into his home. Koujaku stopped himself from asking what was wrong because it didn’t look like he wanted to talk about it. Once they were seated on stools in the kitchen, Koujaku offered Aoba some tea.

“No thank you.” He sighed and watched Koujaku make tea for himself. “Koujaku, we’re still best friends right?” Koujaku turned to face Aoba and frowned.

“What makes you think that we stopped being best friends?”

“Okay….” Aoba rested his elbows on the table, nervously twiddling his thumbs. “I heard something…..that I know that I should have heard from you first.”

 “What is it?” Koujaku raised the cup of tea to his lips and took a small sip.

“Something about you and someone else.”

“Yes?”

“And the fact that you aren’t single.”

“What!? Of course I am.”

“Don’t lie to me, Koujaku.” Aoba stood angrily. He trusted Koujaku and hated to see his so called best friend lie straight to his face.

“I’m not! Where did you hear this rumor?”

“Um….Someone.”

“It was Noiz, wasn’t it?”

“Aha! So you are dating Noiz!” Koujaku nearly froze. The glass cup he had been holding dropped to the floor and shattered to pieces. Aoba looked from the ground to Koujaku’s face, trying to assess to growing chaos.

“Why would I be dating Noiz? I couldn’t even last an hour in the same room with him.” Koujaku kept eye contact with Aoba, paying no mind to the broken glass scattered at his feet.

“Fine. Then why did you kiss him?”

“I most certainly did not kiss that brat.”

“I have photo evidence!” Aoba lied and started to reach into his bag for Ren. He woke him up and watched his dark eyes look up at him. “I have the picture on Ren, I’ll show you right now!”

“No.” Koujaku sighed and looked down at his feet. “There’s no need for that.”

“So you admit it?” Koujaku just nodded slowly. “Wow. I’d never expect you and Noiz to ever go out. What are you doing, trying to make me jealous?” Aoba laughed at his own sarcastic remark. Koujaku tilted his head and kept repeating what Aoba said in his mind.

‘What are you doing, trying to make me jealous?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: I finally found it. Shout out to the official-dramatical-murder-dub tumblr account, I heard the one about virus and trip and I knew I had to put something of the likes in this fic >.


	4. The Plan - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koujaku and Noiz set up a deal, Noiz takes advantage of it, and Mizuki leaves the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part 1 of this because I really don't want to make this chapter too long and I don't want to take forever to post the next chapter. The date and etc is going to be after this.

Koujaku stood in the doorway. On the way to the door, Noiz never took note of the time nonetheless, it was still dark out. He estimated the time to be around three or four in the morning, but he was no expert. He tiredly stared back at Koujaku and looked at him with questioning eyes, hoping that he would explain his presence without Noiz having to ask. 

Koujaku stared back, looking as if he was searching the very depths of his mind on what to say or how to explain himself. The look on his face came off as desperate and a little excited. Noiz couldn’t quite figure him out at the moment. Not that he ever could before. 

"I don’t get you." Noiz’s words snapped Koujaku out of his subconscious and gave Noiz a perplexed glare. "Why are you here?" Noiz said with an over-exasperated sigh. Koujaku obviously wasn’t going to say until he was asked. 

"Oh." Koujaku scooted past Noiz and sat down on the off-white couch in the living room. Noiz’s eyes followed Koujaku’s movements curiously. He was still frustrated that he hasn’t gotten an answer yet. Koujaku threw his feet up onto the coffee table and thought through what he planned to say thoroughly. Noiz slowly made his way over to the opposite side of the coffee table and sat down on the floor, pulling all the blankets he had wrapped around him so they softly rubbed against his mostly bare skin. 

"I don’t have all night. Say something or leave." 

"I have a proposition for you."

"What?" Noiz perked up a little at the sound of it. 

" I need your help to make Aoba jealous." 

"Why would I do that?" 

"…..Because I kind of like Aoba." Koujaku blushed and hid his face in the small pillow on the couch. Noiz saw his movement in the corner of his eye but decided not to act on it. 

"So. What you’re saying is, I should help you get together with the man I was in love with? No thanks." Noiz rubbed his eyes tiredly. He knew that he shouldn’t have confessed out loud that he was in love with Aoba, but it was late and he wasn’t thinking. Koujaku stayed silent for a moment. He assessed the rashness of his decision. He never noticed how obsessed with Aoba this plan made him seem. Koujaku wasn’t obsessed, he just wants the best for Aoba.

"Okay. Maybe we shouldn’t. That was selfish to even suggest." 

"No shit." 

"I mean, Mizuki and Aoba are happy right? I should be happy for them." 

"Okay. I really want you to stop talking, so here is what I propose," Noiz yawned and stretched his arms before speaking again, "I say you should try out your plan and see what happens. You could either crash and burn or you can have yourself a hot boyfriend. Your choice though." 

"So you want to help me?" 

"I never agreed to that."

"You’re such a brat. Didn’t you just say go for it?" 

"I didn’t know you still needed me." Noiz’s gaze went straight to Koujaku’s figure, smirking as much as he could. Koujaku annoyingly stared back at him, knowing the mocking look he was getting. 

"Y-yes I need you." 

"What am I doing?" 

"You’ll do it?" 

"Tell me what I have to do, then I’ll tell you." 

"Be my boyfriend." Koujaku awkwardly watched Noiz’s reaction, his eyes peeking over the pillow he had grabbed earlier. Noiz’s eyes widened and then narrowed into a scowl. He stood up, pulling the blankets with him and returned to his bedroom without a word. Koujaku just watched, unmoving from his spot on the couch. 

The silence slowly ate away at Koujaku, hoping that Noiz didn’t just give up on him. Koujaku knew this was a greedy thing to do, but everyone has a bad side. If that side is given too much power, it overpowers the good and common sense in a person. That’s how he felt right now. He felt overpowered by bad decisions but was too wrapped up in his goal to realize what he was doing wrong. 

After a half hour, Noiz returned to the living room. Still clad in a multitude of blankets, he sat down next to Koujaku. “So you’ll do it?” 

"What’s in it for me?" 

"Erm….the satisfaction of helping an acquaintence?" 

"If I do this for you, you have to do a favor for me." 

"Fine." 

"Okay good. Now get out of my apartment, babe." Noiz joked and went back to bed. 

* * *

 

Aoba knew that knock. It had been his friend’s signature knock ever since he could remember. He jogged down the stairs and turned on his heel towards the door. When he opened it, he was greeted by an overly cheery looking Koujaku. Aoba had expected Koujaku to be standing there, but his expression was more than surprising. 

"Yo, Aoba!" 

"Whoa, come in." He stepped out of the way for Koujaku so he could enter and closed the door behind him. Koujaku slid off his shoes and started towards the stairs. With Aoba in tow, Koujaku made his way up to his best friend’s bedroom and plopped himself down on Aoba’s bed. 

"Aoba, I have much to tell you." Aoba sat down next to Koujaku and chuckled. 

"You look like you have some good news. What is it?" 

"Remember yesterday when you asked me if I was dating Noiz?" 

"Mhmm." 

"Well I’ve come to set the record straight, we worked things out."

"I already knew that, you hippo!" Aoba lightly punched Koujaku’s shoulder. He never tried to do anything to hurt him, but if Aoba punched Koujaku with the will t hurt him, it wouldn’t have injured him. 

"When you asked, it was unofficial." 

"Then when did you guys have time to make this official?" 

"Last night." Koujaku spoke hesitantly. Aoba knowingly smirked at Kouajku. His gaze was eating away at the confidence Koujaku put into this conversation. "What?" 

"What time did you leave his house?" Aoba questioned. Koujaku still cautiously watched Aoba.

"Four, I think." 

"Four in the morning?!" 

"Yeah, why?" 

"So that’s what making it official is with you two, huh?" Then the realization hit him. Hard. Aoba thought they had sex last night as a way to make their relationship official. Koujaku would never have done that for a real relationship. Aoba wasn’t the kind of person who liked to talk about sex or even engage in it, but when he thought his best friend had sex, it made him want to ask millions of questions. 

"No, no, no, Aoba. That’s not what happened!" 

"Alright, Koujaku." Aoba winked at him. "But you guys should come on a double date with Mizuki and I, he is supposed to be discharged in three weeks!" 

"If our relationship lasts that long." Koujaku mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing, Aoba. I’d love to join you, I’ll convince Noiz to come." 

"Hm, that’s weird." 

"W-what’s weird?" Koujaku looked away from Aoba who had gotten closer to him while he was grilling him for answers earlier. 

"Nothing, I just haven’t heard you ever say his name. It’s always Brat and Old Man with you two." Aoba laughed and Koujaku forced a light chuckle to please Aoba. 

* * *

 

The next week went by quickly. Koujaku lost himself in his average routine, cutting hair by day and spending time with his Beni-shigure members by night. Nothing significant happened and Koujaku felt as if his life was back to normal. He didn’t worry about Noiz or Aoba. He hadn’t seen either one of them all week. 

Maybe neither of them tried to see him or he was too engrossed in his work to go out of his way to look for them. Aoba probably passed by the shop once or twice this week, but Koujaku seldom looked out the window. Noiz would have kept his distance from Koujaku until the time came where he needed him again. Koujaku always thought it was weird how Noiz would only show himself when there was something in it for him. It confused him but also made him angry. He wondered how someone could be so selfish and rude. 

Koujaku flipped the ‘Open’ sign over and locked the door to his shop. As he walked down the sidewalk, he noticed a new bar that had opened up on the street corner. The building looked like a perfect circle with a small rectangular room off of it for the entrance. The sign was mounted over the large, glass entrance and written in elegant script was the name of the new bar, ‘Posh’. The building interested Koujaku but thought about whether or not he should enter due to the growing line out the door. He walked past it, figuring that he would check out the place later on in the week when this area of town was less popular. 

"Koujaku-san? Funny seeing you again, huh." A lighthearted laugh escaped his lips as Virus watched Koujaku cringe and turn around to face him. When his eyes met Virus’, he furrowed his eyebrows and scanned the rest of the area. 

"Where’s Trip" 

"Inside. Do you like our new bar?" 

"This is your place?" 

"Of course it is, no one else could make a place this fantastic unless it was inside Platinum Jail itself." He bragged as he rested his hand on his hip and rolled his eyes, knowing that his statement was true. "Do you want to come inside?" 

"I would but, I don’t have the time to wait in line." Koujaku went to turn around when he felt a hand grab his shoulder. 

"You can come right in, my treat." Virus winked and walked to the front door. The bouncer nodded and held the door open for the two of them. Koujaku followed, knowing that Virus must be up to something. He wasn’t rude to him, but he was never this nice either. There never is a such thing as a good yakuza. 

The inside of the bar almost made Koujaku gasp. The room was a complete circle as it seemed on the outside. The bar took up half of the circle, the dark, wood bar crowded with customers. The walls were black with small white spots scattered about, almost looking like stars. Bottles lined the half circle behind the bar in large, wood cabinets that matched the bar. The front of the bar, facing the entrance was brightly lit by white lights to add life to the bar. 

The other half of the building was covered with an array of couches, small coffee tables, and intricately designed lamps. That area was so cluttered with people, Koujaku couldn’t get a good look at it. 

"Heyo, Koujak-u" Trip called from behind the bar. As he approached the bar, Trip shooed a customer away from the seat on the end of the bar to empty up a spot for Koujaku. He sat down on the backless stool and scooted it closer to the bar. "Need anything?" 

"Sake." Trip nodded and left to get the drink. Koujaku looked down and checked his Coil. He hasn’t checked it in a couple days, so he figured it was time to do so. 

12 Unread messages

His eyes widened at the number. Most of the time, he was lucky if he had even two unread messages let alone twelve. With a sigh, he clicked to open the first one. 

* * *

 

It’s been a week since he had agreed to Koujaku’s stupid plan to win Aoba. Noiz knew it wasn’t going to work. The only way an idiotic plan like fake dating would work if it was in a fictional story. The idea that Aoba would get jealous when he saw that Koujaku was dating Noiz was dumb enough. Noiz knew that Koujaku didn’t think this plan through enough to realize the major flaws it had. 

Nonetheless, the plan was supposedly in action and Aoba was going to fall for Koujaku in no time. It was amusing to Noiz after the week had come and went with absolutely no contact from his so-called boyfriend. 

Noiz sat up in his bed and typed out a message to Koujaku. He stared at it for a moment without pressing send. The words seemed to sound weirder together the longer he stared. Suddenly all the words sounded almost foreign to him. To keep from wasting any more time on this, he tossed his coil onto his bed and left the room. 

And so the message sat typed up and ready to go, but left unsent. By the time Noiz returned to it, he groggily hit send without a second thought. As the day went on, Noiz felt overwhelmed by boredom. The hours spent staring up at the gray walls around him made him feel more and more trapped. He felt the unwillingness of his body after a troublesome night which left him stranded in a lonely apartment. 

He used to have enough. There were video games, television, and sleep to push him through the days but now, nothing appeared to suffice. All the games he owned were completed on the hardest difficulty, all the shows he had interest in had ended or had become tedious to watch, and even sleep couldn’t help him. Noiz knew that sleep was a waste of time. Time was something he began to have too much of, but he couldn’t stand to waste it. 

As he lay unmoving on his bed, he remembered the message he sent out to Koujaku. His coil opened, showing that there had been no response nor did he even open the message. With a smirk, Noiz decided to type out another one. Once he hit send, he thought of something else to say, and sent that one too. 

His day that had originally began as around eighty-five thousand meaningless seconds but instead turned out to be hours of potentially pissing off the Old Man. 

* * *

 

From: Noiz 9:23 AM

i thought i was ur boyfriend youre ignoring me

From: Noiz 10:51 AM

hey babe r u having fun without me??

From: Noiz 10:52 AM

do u not like babe how about studmuffin??

From: Noiz 10:52 AM

honeybun??

From: Noiz 11:08 AM

no no wait i got it

From: Noiz 11:08 AM

cutiepie. im gonna call u cutiepie in front of aoba

From: Noiz 3:34 PM 

im bored

From: Noiz 3:58 PM

u should come over

From: Noiz 4:00 PM

no wait dont

From: Noiz 5:02 PM

so what r u doing

From: Noiz 7:29 PM 

so whens our first date

From: Noiz 7:30 PM

babe ;)

Koujaku stared at the texts angrily before he heard Trip clear his throat. His head snapped up and his drink was placed in front of him. Koujaku nodded as a thank you and brought his coil to his face again. He knew that he was going to regret making this agreement with Noiz. He wasnt going to take it seriously, he was just going to push Koujaku until he reached his limit. The hilarious part for Noiz was that in certain instances, Koujaku couldn’t lash out at Noiz for acting like an overly clingy boyfriend because Aoba would find out.

That’s the last thing he wanted. If Aoba found out that they were faking only to make him jealous, he would lose all respect for Koujaku. He knew this was a risky plan, but at this point, it was do or die. Sure, Koujaku wasn’t obsessed with Aoba, but he couldn’t pass up a chance to try and win his heart.

Koujaku carefully typed out Noiz’s name on his coil and wrote out a message to reply to the constant messages.

To: Noiz 8:38 PM

Meet me @ Posh, we’ll have our first date now.

He hit send and expected an immediate response. Noiz had sent him more than enough messages so he should be bored enough to to stay close by his Coil. As he expected, the reply came within minutes.

From: Noiz 8:41 PM

i cant

From: Noiz 8:42 PM

come over 

He must have reread that message a thousand times before he realized Trip’s stare. The blond had been watching him from the opposite end of the bar with a perplexed expression on his face. There was something about his expression and actions that made Koujaku uncomfortable. He got up from the bar, leaving his sake untouched and exited the building without a thank you or any form of appreciation towards either one of them. 

Because of the time that had passed, Koujaku was a little unsure of the exact address of Noiz’s apartment. He proceeded to walk in the direction of his destination to at least make it to the vicinity. The moon shined bright in the sky almost like it was the sun. The fullness of the moon was calming and the dark sky, completely clear of stars, reminded Koujaku of some sort of void. 

Some people were unhappy or even scared of the darkness. The night sky always looked infinite, especially when the stars were present. Koujaku barely had time to appreciate the beauty of the Earth. With a calm breath, he slowed his pace and kept his neck craned up to stare at the sky. The vast area of sky above him reminded him that there was always a possibility and that there were always things greater than him. 

The moment of silence left Koujaku with time to think about his own choices. Aoba didn’t deserve to be fought over. He was great enough for many people to have feelings for him, sure, but there was no way he deserved to be fought over. He was happy with Mizuki, let him be. This revelation made Koujaku realize the selfishness of his own decision to make Aoba jealous. He had to stop before he makes it worse. 

Breaking out into a sprint, Koujaku reached the building he had been looking for. Once in the lobby, he noticed that the furniture  displayed around him had been different than he had remembered, not that he payed much attention to that kind of stuff. Wrong apartment building. With an irritated groan, he entered the one across the street. Bingo.

He got to the door and began to knock. The more he knocked and received no answer, the angrier he got. Koujaku proceeded to knock louder and faster until he heard a quiet click and watched the door knob turn. Noiz stood in the doorway, hunched over, leaning on the opened door. Though he invited Koujaku over, he never expected him to actually come. His tired eyes drooped and looked over Koujaku. He had been dressed as he always was, clad in his signature red kimono, minus the sword he normally carried on his back. 

Koujaku’s outfit was much more put together than Noiz's, only wearing a pair of black jeans with his lime green boxers slightly poking out the top. Noiz watched Koujaku’s gaze move to his exposed chest and moved slowly down until it reached the piercing he had in his navel. He smirked  and raised an eyebrow when he watched Koujaku’s eyes widen.

"I’m quite a catch, huh?" Noiz spoke as he opened the door wide for Koujaku to come in. Without a response, Koujaku moved and sat down in the exact place he had last time he was here. The couch was comfortable, more so than his own. "So are you here to take me on a date?" 

"I can’t go through with this." 

"You’re breaking up with me? Oh no, what will I do now that I don’t have to deal with my ugly ass cougar boyfriend." 

"Has anyone other than me ever told you how big of a shit you are?" 

"All the time. Has anyone besides me ever told you that you suck at insults?" 

"And you’re no better." Koujaku rose from the couch angrily and approached Noiz. He stood nonchalantly with the same smirk on his face. His hair was messier, like he had just got out of bed which left a few hairs over his eyes. The look of his hair seemed like he hadn’t gotten a haircut since the accident which made Koujaku stare at the mess. 

"What makes you think that I need some clown judge my insults? Anyway, there’s no backing out of this deal." 

"It was my idea, of course I can back out."

"You made your grave, now you have to deal with it. Plus, you owe me." Shit. Koujaku remembered that after this, he promised Noiz that he would do whatever he wanted. 

"That’s not how it works, you don’t have to be my fake boyfriend anymore!" 

"Hm. I’ll tell Aoba that you broke my heart, crushed it into a million pieces like your frail little bones would. He would never go out with you then, maybe he'll even hate you." 

Kouajku’s fist flew not even a moment after the words escaped Noiz’s lips. He knew that Noiz was only doing this to get a rise out of him, and it was working. With a swift movement, Noiz slid out of the way. He looked tired and overworked, but he still moved like he was on full alert. Noiz retaliated with a strong punch, it also failing to land when Koujaku stuck his arm out to block. He started laughed as he watched Noiz’s face change from confident to genuinely shocked that he had not landed a punch. 

The attempts kept coming, both trying to hit the other and failing miserably. They both started breathing heavily, their attempts growing weaker. Koujaku swung his fist down towards Noiz’s stomach, connecting with the intended area before Noiz could make an effective block. The blow was not as strong as it originally could have been, but caused Noiz to stumble back a few steps and press a hand against the wall for support. 

Earlier today, he had been in another drive-by Rhyme match. He lost again, figuring that he wasn’t focused enough to actually win. The true reason in fact was that he craved the pain from a last Ryhme match. He never expected to be that infatuated with the idea of pain and never really admitted to it. The match was drawn out and he was on the verge of actually winning the match until he ordered his defense to retreat and took the damage himself. It wasn’t as intense of a match as the one against Tornado was, but the lose left his body weaker and felt a quick surge of pain flow through his body periodically throughout the day. 

Noiz threw his arm around his stomach and felt the surge of pain move from his head to his fingertips. The feeling made it seem like his entire body had different pulses, throbbing from his head and almost everywhere else. 

"Noiz?" He replied to Koujaku with a quiet laugh as he watched Koujaku fill with worry and panic. In an attempt to scare Koujaku, Noiz decided to act more hurt than he actually was. He rolled his eyes back as far as he could and collapsed on the ground in front of Koujaku. Noiz’s mouth hung open, breathing slowly as he stared up at the ceiling. "Noiz!" Koujaku was by his side within seconds. 

For a guy that hated him, he seemed to care enough about him to see if he was alright. Koujaku’s actions further confused Noiz. They both fought like they were enemies but he came to him for help. Noiz went out of his way to ruin Koujaku’s day, yet here he is, rushing to his aid. He remembered when Aoba told him that people sometimes do things without expecting something in return because they are nice people, but Koujaku never came off to him as a nice person. 

Before he could react, Koujaku was bent over his body, trying to give him CPR. His cold hands pressed firmly on his chest. 

"Thought you took my breath away? Not a chance." Noiz’s eyes moved to Koujaku and watched his panicked expression fade. 

"Did you fake that!?" 

"Most of it. I’m sorry if I almost gave you a heart attack." He sat up and leaned against the wall behind him. Koujaku angrily stood and began to move towards the door. "Wait, don’t leave. I’ll make it up to you." Noiz stood and grabbed Koujaku’s wrist. If Koujaku left, Noiz would be stranded in the sea of boredom he was in earlier. 

"How?" 

"Come here." Noiz tugged on Koujaku’s wrist and he followed. The door to Noiz’s bedroom creaked as he opened it. The room was dark and felt like a large closet. There were no windows, only a small lamp perched on the edge of a small table on the left side of the bed. Noiz released Koujaku to turn it on, dim light reaching to three corners of the room. The room looked clean from what he could see and filled with relatively modern furniture. It was a lot different than Koujaku’s home, which intrigued him. 

Noiz’s lips met Koujaku’s before he could speak, causing his lips to part to let out a gasp. The opportunity allowed Noiz’s tongue to seize Koujaku’s mouth, quickly pushing its way through his parted lips as Koujaku tried to kiss back. Noiz felt hands groping at his torso, searching for something to grab on to. Koujaku felt the piercing rub forcefully at the roof of his mouth, causing his head to tilt back and left his hands grabbing at empty space. 

Noiz’s arm wrapped around Koujaku’s waist, forcing their bodies to rub against one another. Shocked from the sudden friction, Koujaku bit down on Noiz’s lip. He let out a groan and simply pushed Koujaku backwards so he fell onto the bed behind him. Koujaku stared up at Noiz, dim light  bouncing off one half of his face as he stood before him. He watched Noiz bring his hand to his lip and wipe something off. Noiz stared at his finger before bringing it close to Koujaku’s face. 

"Do you know what this is?" The darkness made it almost impossible to see the color of the substance on his finger, but he knew what it was. 

"Blood?" Using the other hand, Noiz pushed one of Koujaku’s legs over, sitting himself in between the two of his legs. He held the finger in front of Koujaku’s face as he moved. The fingered was pushed into his mouth, forcing the metallic taste to fill his mouth. Noiz’s finger rubbed against his teeth, feeling every one of them before moving onto the roof of his mouth. His finger rubbed across every bump and ridge on the roof of Koujaku’s mouth, curiously feeling the entirety of the area. Without a word, Noiz pulled his finger out, strings of saliva following it. "What was that for?" Noiz just shrugged. 

"Do you want your apology or not?" 

"Just tell me what it is!" Noiz responded by reaching out towards Koujaku’s pants. Koujaku watched as traced his finger across the hem of his pants before reaching his hand inside. Koujaku was about to protest until he felt Noiz’s hand rub his dick through the fabric of his boxers. He pressed harder and Koujaku’s breath hitched. "Noiz, stop." 

Noiz looked up and pulled his hand out of Koujaku’s pants. He nearly regretted going back but he couldn’t do this now. 

"What’s wrong?" 

"I don’t want to have sex with you." 

"It was only going to be a handjob, don’t get ahead of yourself. But I get it." 

"I should go."

"Stay the night?" Noiz blurted in the heat of the moment. He had no idea why he was being so nice to Koujaku now and why Koujaku was being so nice to him. Maybe it was just the circumstances. Everything will be back to normal in the morning. Koujaku nodded and scooted under the covers without a second thought. 

 

* * *

 

 

Today was finally the day. Mizuki was able to leave two whole weeks earlier then planned. Aoba took a deep breath and walked proudly into the hospital. The receptionist greeted him as she always did and he waved in reply. Everyone who saw him took note of his beaming smile and excited attitude. He was practically bouncing up and down in the short elevator ride up to the eighth floor. The doors opened to the wide, white halls of the hospital. The halls were surprisingly quiet and empty, leaving Aoba to quickly move down the hallway to the desired room. Instinctively glancing into Noiz’s old room, he felt a wave of sadness pour over him. He knew that he had been out of the hospital for some time and was apparently happy with Koujaku, but he still felt a light tinge of guilt for leaving him.

“Seragaki Aoba?” A nurse called to him. Aoba spun around to face the nurse who held a clipboard close to his chest, pen dangling from a string tied to the board. He nodded and watched the nurse smile and opened the door to Mizuki’s room. At the sight of Aoba, Mizuki’s face lit up as he reached out towards Aoba. His arms flung around Mizuki’s and held him tight.

“I can’t believe today is the day.” Mizuki whispered excitedly in Aoba’s ear. He scooted back from the hug and held Mizuki’s hand, rubbing his thumb lightly across the top.

“I know, now we can go on real dates.” With a smile, Aoba and the nurse both helped Mizuki get into his wheelchair. Though he was allowed to leave the hospital early, he had to see various doctors for different forms of physical therapy. He had yet to fully recover feeling in his legs, but he was well enough to leave the hospital. Aoba pushed Mizuki’s wheelchair down the empty hall and pressed the button for the elevator with his elbow. “Granny has been wanting to have you over soon”

“Do you think she forgives me?”

“It wasn’t your fault, she isn’t angry with you about it.”

“Good. Hopefully I can make it over there soon.” Mizuki laughed as the elevator doors closed and they began to descend to the main floor. The ride was quiet, the repetitive elevator music filling the silence. It was a peaceful silence. It wasn’t one of those silences where each person craved for the other to start up a conversation on a new topic before the tension brought tears to their eyes. The doors opened and they were gone.

Mizuki took a deep breath of fresh air in what seemed like years. It was a little chilly outside but not enough to have to wear some sort of jacket. For those who hated any form of cold either extreme or mild chose to wear coats.

“Hey Aoba, how is Koujaku doing?”

“Good. Great actually, he has a boyfriend now.”

“Really? I never would have guessed he swung that way.”

“Maybe he likes girls and guys, I never officially asked.” Aoba added with a shrug. He figured that his best friend’s sexuality didn’t really matter, as long as he was happy. No labels were needed.

“So do I know him?”

“I don’t think you two officially met. His name is Noiz.”

“I don’t remember.”

“Well Koujaku agreed to go on a double date so hopefully we’ll have fun.”

* * *

 

Koujaku opened one eye, feeling something warm pressed up against him. Blinking a few times, he realized that his face rested against the nape of Noiz’s neck. Koujaku’s arm was wrapped around Noiz’s waist, holding him firmly against his torso. He shifted, untangling his legs from Noiz’s and sat up. Koujaku rubbed his eyes and ran his fingers through his tangled hair.

His gaze stopped at Noiz’s sleeping body, watching the rise and fall of his stomach with every breath. It perplexed him why he felt the need to watch the teen sleep instead of rush out of the building as soon as possible. The expression on Noiz’s face was relaxed, completely different than each time he looked at Koujaku. He had always remembered Noiz’s face fixed in an angry, irritated, or cocky way but this was different.

His hair had been ruffled up and was messier more than it was the night before, making Koujaku chuckle at the sight. Koujaku always saw Noiz in a negative way but he was never able to see Noiz in such a vulnerable state. He glanced over at the clock and saw that it was almost nine. With a sigh, Koujaku rose from the bed and quietly made his way out of the apartment, leaving Noiz to wake up alone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I'm rushing to post this chapter then I'm going to sleep if you read this before August first, there will be some mistakes because I have no time to go through and edit right now**


	5. The Plan - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two of Koujaku and Noiz's plan, the double date! How far can Noiz push Koujaku and what will Aoba think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning on getting this out on my birthday but I was a whole five days early (whoa!) Anyway I'll get it fully edited by then.   
> **Also I'll be away next week so it might take a little longer than usual for the next chapter. Seeing as how this one ends, I apologize**

It was around ten when he began to stir, feeling the cold air cover his bare skin. The blankets were thrown carelessly off of the bed, leaving Noiz in the center of the bed alone without the warmth of the blankets o another body. That other body left before Noiz could see. Other than the fact that Koujaku stayed the night, the morning was the same for Noiz. He was used to waking up alone, this morning was no exception. 

Noiz hadn’t fallen asleep as quickly as Koujaku, so he recalled the old man curling his body around his own. He blamed it on exhaustion, but he did nothing to push Koujaku off him. He remembered Koujaku’s soft hands wrap firmly around him in a way that made him feel safe. Last night was the first night in quite some time that he was able to sleep and not be woken up by his own nightmares. Part of him believed that Koujaku helped to prevent them, but the other was in denial. 

As he sat up, he stifled a yawn and rubbed his hand across his goos bump covered arm. Koujaku’s scent lingered in the air, smelling like a combination of smoke and high end hair products. The smell would be weird to just anyone, but it brought a sense of peace. It scared Noiz how calming his thoughts of Koujaku made him. Something happened last night that threw him over some sort of edge. 

Noiz pulled out his coil quickly and stared at the time displayed on the screen. 10:37. Koujaku would be at work. With a huff, he got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom. The light flickered on and Noiz stared at his disheveled body. He noticed new bruises forming from the fight he had before Koujaku came over. Noiz poked at them, feeling a small bit of pain each time he pressed down. 

Aside from the new bruises and cuts, he noticed how bad his hair looked. He ran his fingers through it vigorously, pulling out any small knots and pushing his hair back in place the best he could. With a frown, Noiz threw his hat over the messy parts of his hair and left the bathroom. As he made his way back to his bedroom, he realized how he could see Koujaku again. 

Noiz stood by his closet, searching for something to wear. He knew that he had more clothes than he needed, but he bought more anyway. Throwing on the second pair of pants, he shoved his feet into his boots. He dug out the shirt he wanted and tossed it on over the first, buttoning while he grabbed his tie with his other hand. Noiz made his way out of his room and down to the streets, tying his tie as he walked. 

He remembered the first time he was taught to tie a tie. He was eight years old. The caretakers told him that he would need to learn so he could be a successful businessman. They promised him that the only way he could succeed was if he wore a tie. Most days he wore it, but he has yet to feel successful. 

The streets were not very crowded, most people have made it to work and will remain there until the evening. Noiz continued to saunter down the road. He caught a glimpse of two people that he hoped he wouldn’t have had to see in a long time. 

"Noiz?" He pretended he didn’t hear him and continued to walk. Whatever he had to say wasn’t important to him. The footsteps gained speed behind him, along with the sound of wheels. Noiz picked up the pace and crossed the street. His pursuer followed closely. A hand reached out for his shoulder, but Noiz sidestepped to avoid the contact. "Hey Noiz! This isn’t funny!" 

Noiz stopped short and let the man behind him run face first into his back. After hearing the sound of a body hitting the ground, Noiz turned to face him. 

"You’re too clumsy." He spoke as he offered his hand out to help Aoba up. 

"It was your fault."

"So?" 

"Ugh, whatever. How have you been Noiz? I haven’t been able to uh, see you in a while." 

"Fine." Noiz spoke bitterly, ignoring Aoba’s desperate looking smile. He knew that he was trying to apologize for completely forgetting he existed, but it wasn’t going to work. 

"Where are you going?" 

"Nowhere." 

"Come on Noiz, you can tell me." 

"Why should I tell you?"

"We’re friends aren’t we?" 

"We are? Could have fooled me." 

"Noiz, look at me." Noiz growled quietly as he turned around completely to get away from him. "Noiz!" He ignored him again and began to walk away. Aoba grabbed his wrist in an attempt to keep him from going away. Noiz kept walking, dragging Aoba along with him. "Noiz please just talk to me!" 

"I did talk to you. What else do you want from me?" 

"I feel bad for not spending time with you, okay? I want to be friends with you." 

"This is some sort of pity thing."

"Of course it isn’t!" 

"You’re confusing." 

"How? I just want to hang out with you. Come over my house later or something, please?" Noiz pulled himself from Aoba’s grasp and continued on his way with Aoba calling out to him as he went. 

He rounded the corner and spotted his destination. There was a crowd around the entrance as predicted, but he was going to stand there anyway. If there was an opportunity to embarrass him in front of his fans, he would go for it. Noiz pushed himself through the crown, hiding himself in the middle of the excited women. 

A few minutes later, the door opened and he finally stepped out. Koujaku stood in front of the crowd with a welcoming smile. The girls pushed each other, all trying to get a closer look at the hairdresser. 

"Alright, who’s next?" Every single hand in the crowd went up, the pushing grew more forceful and intense. Noiz stood in the middle, seemingly uninterested and lost. "Huh? Noiz?" Koujaku tilted his head sideways and the crowd grew quiet. Noiz felt every single eye on him but felt himself not embarrassed at all. The tension in the crowd was rising. Some of the girls moved out of the way and Koujaku walked through the crowd towards him. "What are you doing here?" 

"I figured that it was time for a haircut." Noiz paused as he awaited a response from anyone. That was until he thought of something. He smirked and watched Koujaku’s eyes watch him carefully. "You know, especially if it’s a haircut by my boyfriend." 

The whole crowd gasped at the same time. A loud thump was heard from behind him, a woman had fainted from the shock. All of the girls fawned over Koujaku and with the word that he was taken was nearly heartbreaking for some of them. Others were more infatuated by his skills than Koujaku. Noiz watched at Koujaku’s eyes narrowed into a scowl. 

"Just come inside." 

———

That night, Noiz lay silently in his bed, surrounded by darkness. He always hated the dark, ever since he was a child. Being alone for all those years, Noiz read as often as he could, engrossing himself into a story. Feeling like the main character, he always imagined he went on all the adventures the characters did.

Every time he read, he felt better. There were nights when his nightmares kept him awake and he found himself searching for a way to read. His caretakers didn’t like when he refused to sleep so they made sure there was no way he could do anything but sleep at night. The prolonged time without reading or sleep, Noiz began to make up his own stories. Though he normally favored the antagonist, he always made himself the skillful protagonist of his stories. Unfortunately, every one of his made up adventures ended in the death of the protagonist, himself. 

To say that darkness reminded Noiz of death was an understatement. It triggered memories of his past when he went for long periods feeling like he was engulfed in darkness because nothing even began to steer him in the direction the light was shining. He was always shut out and left in the dark. The dark doesn’t scare him as much now as it did when he was a small, emotional child. Now, the darkness is just a grim reminder of Noiz’s life purpose. He was born to die and nothing else. That was the only thing he knew for certain. 

Engulfed in the darkness of the night, Noiz pulled the blankets over his body in an attempt to rest. Every time he found himself alone in the dark, he would have visions of his past, but this time was weird. All he could think about was Koujaku. He thought about what Koujaku was doing this very moment. He remembered how worried Koujaku had gotten when he thought Noiz was seriously hurt. He remembered the way Koujaku carried him home when he actually was hurt. 

The most important thing he remembered was the way Koujaku held him while they slept. Koujaku breathed slowly and sounded so relaxed in his sleep. Noiz always pictured Koujaku to sleep awkwardly on his back with a leg or two poking off the side of the bed, hair messily pressed against the pillow, drool dripping onto the sheets as he snored loudly every few minutes. But the way he actually slept was actually nice and in a way, cute. 

With that thought in his head, he jolted up and got out of bed. There was no way he thought Koujaku was cute. He wondered if someone like him was even capable of being cute. He wondered if people like him even liked to be called cute. Would being called cute be a blow to his masculinity or something? The way people used words always confused Noiz but he uses them the way he wants to anyways. 

Noiz felt the need to keep himself continuously moving, so he began to pace back and forth in his living room. Everything that happened today seemed so weird yet so normal. It was normal to run into people you knew on the street. It was normal to go and get your hair cut. Something was off. ‘Come over my house later or something, please’

Those words stuck with him. Without another thought, Noiz left and headed to see Aoba. He had been longing to see Aoba and to spend time with Aoba ever since the fall of the tower. Noiz knew that he shouldn’t have welcomed the idea of the two of them being friends so easily, but he couldn’t keep himself away from Aoba. 

As he approached Aoba’s house, he saw the light shining from Aoba’s bedroom. With a smirk, he walked up to the door and stuck his key in the lock. When he broke in the first time, he had stolen the spare and kept it for future uses. Like now. He pushed the door open with a tiny creak and slid inside. The door shut quietly, allowing him to sneak anywhere he pleased until he got caught. 

Noiz shuffled up the stairs and knocked twice on Aoba’s bedroom door. No answer. Having no response, he turned the knob and scanned the room. The room was empty, but the sound of the shower filled the room. Noiz chuckled and closed the door behind him before making himself at home. He lay down on Aoba’s bed and stared up at the ceiling. 

Promptly after, the water stopped. Noiz heard humming coming from the bathroom and figured it would only be a few minutes until he came out. The doorknob to the bathroom began to turn and Noiz felt a sense of excitement fill his body. The door opened and Aoba stepped out. At the sight of Noiz, Aoba froze. 

"What are you doing here!?" 

"You told me to come over." Noiz glanced at Aoba nonchalantly.

"Yeah, but usually you would knock first." 

"I knocked."

"Okay, but you still wait for someone to answer the door."

"But I knocked." 

"Whatever, forget it." Aoba set the towel down and combed his fingered through his damp hair as he sat down on the edge of the bed by Noiz’s feet. Noiz sat up, leaning against the wall and watched Aoba. "What?" Noiz replied with a shrug. "So, what have you been up to?" 

"Doing things." 

"Like what?" 

"Mostly Rhyme." Noiz swallowed and stared right into Aoba’s eyes, "Oh and sometimes Koujaku." Aoba felt himself choke on his own spit in shock after hearing that response. Part of him assumed they would engage in sexual activity but to hear it directly from one of them was weird. Especially since it sounded so cavalier and it was about his best friend. 

"S-so you guys had sex. Wow." Aoba nodded slowly. 

"Of course, that’s the only way we can get through dates without trying to kill each other." 

"Love hate huh? I never understood that. Oh! Tomorrow night! Did Koujaku tell you?" 

"What?" 

"He said he would ask you, maybe he forgot. Mizuki and I wanted to have a double date with you and Koujaku." 

"Oh." 

"Will you come?" 

"Wouldn’t miss it." Noiz said with a smirk. 

 

The expected knock pounded furiously against the door. The sound rang through the room promptly at seven PM. Koujaku stood nervously on the other side of the door, awaiting the door to be opened.

 

He made sure to dress nicely for the occasion. The suit he wore was new and custom fitted to Koujaku himself. His black blazer hung nicely over his broad shoulders, black dress pants was held up by a crimson belt. Matching the belt was a light, cotton button up shirt, finished off with a slender, black tie. 

Koujaku combed through his well-kept hair that rested in a tight ponytail on his shoulder. Noiz was taking way too long to answer the door, which began to worry Koujaku. With a tired sigh, he lifted his hand and balled it into a fist. His hand moved towards the door to knock once again. The door swung open before his fist made contact with the wood, making him freeze immediately 

Noiz stood on the other side of the door. He never expected Koujaku to be so punctual. He stood quietly, wearing nothing but a pair of usagimodoki boxers. The sight would have made Koujaku chuckle on a good day, but he was stressed out enough as it is. 

"Huh, Noiz!? Why aren’t you dressed? We have to meet Aoba and Mizuki in a half hour!" Koujaku growled as he stepped into the room. From the sight of Koujaku, Noiz had briefly forgotten what he was going to say. He had never seen Koujaku dressed so nicely before and the sight had utterly shocked him. He took note of the fit of the suit and how the colors tied the outfit together, making them look entirely ravishing on Koujaku. Noiz bit his lip and nodded in response. 

"Yeah." 

"Are you listening to me? You have to get dressed." Koujaku grabbed Noiz’s arm and pulled him towards his bedroom.  Without awaiting a response, he tore open the doors to his closet and rummaged through to find something suitable for Noiz to wear. Everything he owned was disgustingly colored or way too casual. His search deemed useless once he got to the opposite end of the closet and still had not found anything nice enough.

 

When he turned around, Noiz stood before him completely dressed and ready to go. The sight of Noiz in any article of clothing that didn’t resemble something you would get out of a dumpster was surprising enough as it was. Noiz was wearing a gray three-piece suit and a red tie that matched his shirt perfectly. What completely astonished Koujaku was the lack of piercings he had on his face. Every one of them was missing, making him look essentially like a grown businessman.

 

“Staring is rude, you know.” Koujaku shook his head and closed the closet doors behind him.

 

“Sorry, I never expected you to look so…..” Koujaku clicked his tongue and thought of the countless words he could use to describe Noiz.

 

“Enticing?”

 

“Tch, I wouldn’t go that far. Let’s go with proper.” Koujaku rolled his eyes. Noiz was predictably cocky about his new appearance which began to annoy Koujaku. The brief moment of peace between the two had subsided and the conflict was anticipated. Even if Noiz did look particularly attractive in a suit, Koujaku would never have said it out loud. The last thing he needed was to fuel his ego and give him the idea that he has the upper hand in this fake relationship thing. “Can we just go?”

 

Noiz stepped out of the room and walked over to the coffee table in the center of the living room. Koujaku watched him slip a silver bracelet on his wrist and fixed his blazer. As he turned towards the door, Noiz met Koujaku’s gaze and winked quickly before exiting the apartment. Koujaku felt his cheeks grow hot as he turned to follow the teen out of the building.

The two of them walked casually down the sidewalk clad in their formal attires. The busy sidewalks at this time left them to weave quickly through crowds to make it to the restaurant on time. Noiz reached over towards Koujaku and reached towards his hand. Koujaku sidestepped away from Noiz in response to the attempt and shot an irritated stare in his direction. They were about four blocks away from the meeting spot and had nearly five minutes to get there. Knowing they would be late, they both slowed their pace.

“Old man?”

“What?”

“Can you hold this?” Noiz held his fist up, looking like he was hiding something in his fist. The question seemed harmless to Koujaku, so he nodded and held his hand out. With a smirk, Noiz intertwined his fingers with Koujaku’s, forcing the two of them to hold hands. He knew this would anger Koujaku a little because he would see people that he knew on the street and was embarrassed to be see with Noiz, especially if they acted like a couple.

“Very funny, now let go.” Koujaku glared. The response was a lot more subtle than Noiz had anticipated, causing him to take note of it and push him further later one. He gripped tighter, refusing to let go. Koujaku let out a defeated sigh and continued to walk. They reached the next street corner in silence. 

"Koujaku-san? Noiz-san? Funny seeing you together isn’t it?" A voice called out behind him. The two of them turned their heads in unison to face the dynamic duo. Virus and Trip stood grinning at the faux couple, staring down at their tangled fingers. "Going on a date?" 

"Yeah, Koujaku only has sex after I buy him dinner." Noiz spoke in a humorous tone. Though his words were dripping with sarcasm, Koujaku couldn’t help but look awkwardly at the ground. Virus’ jovial laugh filled the air, his gaze remained on Koujaku. 

"Virus is exactly the same way." Trip pipes up, causing Virus to cease laughing immediately. 

"Now Trip, you shouldn’t spread false information." Virus bit his lip and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his pointer and middle finger. 

"It’s not a lie." Trip shifted the weight back and forth from his toes to his heels as he laughed. His laugh sounded low, and devious. Virus shot a desperate stare towards Trip. "Kidding." 

"That’s what I thought." Virus straightened his tie and cleared his throat. "Trip and I don’t engage in sexual activities together." 

"That’s true." 

"Well enjoy your date you two." Virus waved.

"Have fun tonight." Trip winked at Noiz as they turned the corner and walked in the opposite direction. Seeing those two was weird, especially for Noiz. The last time he saw those two, he kissed Trip and they beat him half to death. He stood there, wondering if that was why Trip directed his wink towards him. That thought made Noiz cringe. 

Koujaku stood in silence, watching the two as they left. He really hated those two. Every time he saw them, he automatically was put in a bad mood. He remembered the comment Noiz made in front of them. He hated him for saying that and making him look bad in front of the yakuza. 

The duo walked in complete, awkward silence the rest of the journey to the restaurant. The building was enormous, forcing one to look up in order to view the entirety of the restaurant. It was white, modern looking building with large, cream colored columns evenly spread across the front. The side of the restaurant facing the street was covered with large windows to intrigue the passerby. 

Tall lamp posts lined the stairway to the entrance, lighting the way to the lavish eatery. By one of the lamp posts, Koujaku spotted Aoba and Mizuki, both wearing suits. Aoba’s face lit up at the sight of the two of them holding hands as they walked down the sidewalk. He was excited to have dinner with the two of them to catch up and look into how their relationship is working. Honestly, he was a little worried when Koujaku said that Noiz and him were officially a couple. 

He worried because he had seen everything that Noiz had been through and just wanted him to be happy. Aoba knew that Koujaku was very caring and gentle, but he acted very violently towards Noiz during their first few encounters. He wondered how they even got into a position where the two of them even wanted to date, but love happens in mysterious ways. 

"Aoba, sorry we’re late. We ran into Virus and Trip." 

"That’s alright, you’re here now." Aoba smiled and grabbed onto Mizuki’s wheelchair. "Come on, I’m hungry!" He started to push the wheelchair until he got to the stairs. Aoba and Koujaki helped Mizuki make his way up the stairs while Noiz carried the wheelchair to the entrance. Once he was seated, they pushed open the doors to the restaurant. 

The three of them gasped in unison as Noiz stood beside them. The inside of the building was as beautiful as the outside. Though the inside could be seen from the outside, once they actually entered, it felt incredible. The main room looked oval shaped with four large openings that led into smaller, square shaped rooms. The center dining room was insanely beautiful. A small fountain sat in the middle of the room under a large, dark brown chandelier that was intricately designed to tie together the room. Six large, off-white columns surrounded the fountain and were covered in a light, diamond pattern. The mahogany walls were covered in paintings and large windows that overlooked a small topiary garden. 

As they stepped further inside, Aoba took note of the patterned carpet. It was almost beige in the dim light and was covered in a rich green, purple, and almost golden yellow shapes. The carpet had the power to look completely repulsive in some instances, but it worked here. The rest of the room was filled with small, round tables scattered about, all of which were encircled by ivory chairs that looked very comfortable. Aoba felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see that they were being guided to their reserved table. 

They sat down at the table. Aoba eyed the tablecloth and felt at the fabric. It even felt expensive. This restaurant would never have even been a thought if Noiz hadn’t offered to pay for the four of them to have dinner. This place was beyond fancy. He never once imagined that he would be able to even dine in a place like this. By the looks of it, Mizuki was in the same boat as he stared up at the intricate wood paneling on the ceiling. Koujaku felt a light kick under the table and scowled at Noiz across the table. He narrowed his eyes and kicked back childishly. 

The waiter passed glasses of water around the table and handed out menus to each of them. At the same time, they all picked up their menus and began to browse. Noiz sipped his water as he scanned the choices. This place was very big on complex meals and he barely had a clue as to what anything was. He looked up from his menu to see all of their eyes widen as they stared down at their menus. 

"This is really expensive!" Aoba put his menu down and nervously drank some of his water. 

"Not really." 

"Not really?! It’s sixty dollars for tuna!" 

"That’s not much." 

"And you would spend forty five dollars for a side order or rice?"

"Probably. It must be good." Nois shrugged and put his menu down. He decided that he would try the Kuruma Ebi, whatever that was. He took another sip of his water before kicking Koujaku back. Koujaku growled and kicked back again, initiating an impromptu under-the-table kick war. Noiz was winning. Koujaku landed a kick so hard, it shook the table violently. 

"What’s going on?" 

"N-nothing Aoba!" Koujaku assured him and glared back at Noiz. Aoba watched the two of them, their faces both looked determined and angry. This further confused him seeing that they weren’t even having a good time on the date. 

"What are you having, Aoba?" Mizuki questioned. The question snapped Aoba out of his thoughts and he smiled back at Mizuki. 

"I don’t know, I don’t want Noiz to spend so much money on me." His eyes shifted to the menu again, "Maybe I can find something really cheap, like a soup or something." The two of them began to chat idly amongst themselves while the brawl started to come to a close. 

"Noiz, stop it." 

"Make me." Noiz landed another kick. 

"Suck my dick." Koujaku whispered as he leaned over the table so only Noiz could hear. 

"Okay." Noiz picked up his salad fork from the table and stared directly at Koujaku. 

"I didn’t actually mean it like-Noiz!?" Noiz dropped the fork, muttering an ‘oops’ and crawled under the table. Koujaku immediately felt hands rubbing against his thighs, making him jump up out of his seat. "Noiz! Cut it out!" He growled before glancing over at the other two only to be greeted by both of their gazes set on him. 

"Koujaku, is everything okay?" 

"Y-yeah, sorry." Koujaku’s cheeks flushed a light pink as he sat back down in his seat. Noiz sat down as well, placing the dropped fork back on the table where it had been. The two of them stared at each other and felt the rising tension between them. Neither of them spoke. Neither of them moved. 

Aoba worriedly glanced over at them every so often only to find them both in the same position. He opened his mouth to say something to them but a waitress showed up at their tables and greeted them nicely. She smiled and held a small notepad in one hand. Koujaku started off and ordered Kinmedai, Mizuki ordered Amaebi, Aoba ordered Hotategai, and Noiz ordered the Kuruma Ebi. The waitress nodded and assured them that she would be back to check up on them. 

 

“So, Noiz.” Aoba awkwardly tapped his hand on the table, “How long have you been interested in Koujaku?”

 

“He’s not someone that has the ability to be interesting, maybe you should rephrase the question.” Noiz stared down at his silverware as he responded. He may have been in a suit and looked like a grown man, but he was still acting like an inane child.

 

“I meant, when did you realize that you had feelings for him?” Aoba pushed the words out irritably. He hoped that this date would be fun and the two of them had changed, but it seemed to be the opposite. Before he could respond, he felt Koujaku’s eyes fixed on him.

 

“The first time I saw his ugly mug.” Noiz leaned back in his chair with a smirk. Aoba’s anger disappeared and the air filled with a sincere laughter. Koujaku’s face turned bright red as his gaze switched back and forth from Aoba to Noiz. Mizuki laughed with Aoba, watching the couple interact with each other.

 

“That’s actually pretty cute you guys, I-“ The waitress cut off Aoba as she began to hand out the dishes. She placed Koujaku’s dish down first, a white, square plate filled with the reddish fish as its large eye stared up at him. On top of the fish was a leafy green garnish, rice surrounding the fish. Mizuki’s plate was put down next, the long and rectangular plate held nearly twenty pieces of shrimp all in a perfect line down the entire plate.

 

 Aoba’s eyes widened when his plate was put down in front of him. His plate was a large square with rounded edges, almost making it look like a round plate. His scallops sat in large shells filled with soy sauce. Surrounding the three shells where small, colorful garnishes carefully cut into stars. It was nice to look at, but he was starving. Noiz stared at his dish, still confused as to what it was. It looked like some kind of shrimp, but he wasn’t sure. As he studied he, he came to the conclusion that no matter what it was, he would eat it anyway.

They all dug in and ate quietly. Noiz always glanced up at Koujaku and watched him eat. He wasn’t paying attention enough to notice. The way he ate was different. Noiz figured it was because he seldom watched people eat. Even he could admit it was weird. Koujaku ate a lot at once, but did it neatly. He chewed his food quietly and subtlety before he swallowed and grabbed another forkful.

 

After he finished, Noiz spun the fork around in his hand. He stretched his arm across the table and stole a forkful of rice off Koujaku’s plate. He was about to protest but he glanced over at Aoba and saw that he was watching them with a smile. Koujaku forced a smile and went back to eating his food, kicking Noiz under the table.

 

The waitress returned and collected their plates and asked the table if they wanted to have dessert. Aoba and Mizuki shook their heads, mainly because the meal was expensive enough as it was. Noiz nodded and ordered a small cake for the table. The waitress nodded and left the table.  They all chatted idly together as they waited and Noiz kept his stare down towards the tablecloth and kept silent. The three of them were such close friends, why did they invite him?

 

The cake was delivered to the table and they all took a slice. It was a small, round chocolate cake that looked simple enough to be sold at an everyday bakery.  Aoba took a bite of it and it tasted like nothing he had ever eaten before.

 

“Wow, this cake is amazing!” Mizuki beamed as he dug his fork into the spongy cake again. Koujaku ate quietly as the two of them thanked Noiz profusely for ordering the cake and taking them to such a nice place. He felt a hint of jealously every time a compliment aimed towards Noiz escaped Aoba’s lips. He was so caught up in his own thoughts, he didn’t realize that he had not touched his slice of cake.

 

“Hey old man, open wide.” Noiz poked the side of Koujaku’s cheek with the cake filled fork.

 

“What, why?”

 

“I’m feeding you, babe.” Noiz winked at Koujaku and held the fork impatiently in front of his lips. Aoba and Mizuki chuckled and watched the two of them eagerly. Reluctantly, Koujaku opened his mouth for the cake. The fork moved into his mouth slowly and he began to taste the cake. Koujaku began to chew his food and watched Noiz lick the fork that he had just taken out of Koujaku’s mouth. That boy was disgusting, Koujaku thought to himself.

 

As Koujaku glanced over at Aoba, Noiz got up from his seat and walked behind him. Reaching forward, he smeared chocolate frosting over Koujaku’s cheeks, looking like sweet war paint.

 

“You brat!” Koujaku stood from his seat, pushing it back against Noiz’s knees. He stepped back and watched Koujaku as he stormed away to the bathroom. Aoba dropped his fork and ran after Koujaku, leaving Mizuki and Noiz at the table. The two of them ate in silence, both not knowing what to say to the other. Mizuki hated Rhyme, Noiz hated Rib.

The door to the bathroom didn’t slam behind him like he planned, making Koujaku turn to see that Aoba had followed him. He turned away from the blue-haired man to face himself in the mirror. Globs of chocolate frosting were spread across his face.

 

“Koujaku, are you alright?” Aoba stood next to him, leaning against one of the sinks.

 

“He just has to ruin things.”

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Are you using Noiz?”

 

“W-what? How would I be using him?” Koujaku bit his lip and turned to the paper towel dispenser.

 

“I mean, do you actually like him or playing with his feelings?”

 

“Using his feelings?” Aoba turned on the sink so Koujaku could wet the paper towel before he continued.

 

“I mean, he’s a pretty sensitive person. I know him more than anyone. At least, I think I do. I just want him to be happy. I want you to be happy too, but neither of you seem like you are.” Aoba took the paper towel and wiped the frosting off of one of Koujaku’s cheeks. Koujaku sighed, thanking Aoba for not catching on to the actual plan. But Aoba’s words sounded sincere and worried towards the both of them.

 

“I do like him. Sometimes he pushes me as a way to get to me and sometimes I snap.”

 

“He probably doesn’t mean to push you that far, he just doesn’t know your limits yet.”

 

“Well he’s doing a good job trying to find them.” At that, Aoba let out a chuckled.

 

“Oh, there was something else I wanted to ask.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Noiz mentioned….um……you and him having a lot of sex. I was just wondering if that was why you guys started dating in the first place?” Aoba watched as Koujaku’s face grew red again, dropping the wet, frosting-filled paper towel into the sink. “Ah, I mean, you don’t have to tell me how you started dating if it’s too embarrassing.”

 

“No, no, it’s just shocked me that he said that.” Koujaku nodded, thinking about Noiz. He had been entirely focused on embarrassing Koujaku and making it harder for him to win over Aoba. Maybe that was his goal from the start. He would act like he was on his side but essentially, he was against Koujaku’s wishes. “We haven’t, by the way.”

 

“What?”

 

“Had sex.” When he said those words, they sounded weird. Once he heard the sound of his own voice utter those words, he wondered why haven’t they? Part of him was disappointed, almost like they were in a real relationship.

 

The two of them exited the bathroom and returned to the table. Noiz had already paid the waitress and left a more than generous tip, paying a little under double than the meal was worth. Aoba continuously asked how much it was on the way home but Noiz refused to tell. He knew that he would freak out and offer to do something to pay Noiz back in return. Koujaku’s hand met Noiz’s as they walked. The group moved two by two down the skinny sidewalk, Noiz and Koujaku leading the way hand in hand.

 

Once they got to the corner of the road, they said their goodbyes and the group split in half. Koujaku and Noiz went left, Aoba and Mizuki went right. Noiz wondered why Koujaku hadn’t kept walking back to his house, but instead never left his side.

 

“Why aren’t you going home?”

 

“I forgot something at your place.” Noiz’s eyes narrowed at his response, but he allowed it anyway. The two walked up the stairs to his apartment and stepped inside. Noiz’s hand released Koujaku’s immediately after the door closed.

“Take what you left.” Noiz sighed and started for his bedroom to change. Koujaku tugged on Noiz’s arm and pulled him backwards. He turned to face Koujaku, looking confused and intrigued. Koujaku stared at Noiz’s face for a few moments, it being mere inches away from his own. Noiz watched as Koujaku licked his lips before pressing them firmly against his own.

Koujaku was not one to take Noiz by surprise, but he never expected him to do this. Even after all he did to him tonight, Koujaku reacted kindly. This sudden change made Noiz wonder but he wasn’t in the mood to question him now. Noiz kissed back and felt his body pushed against the west wall of the living room.

The two tore their faces apart and gasped for air quickly before pressing their mouths together again. Noiz opened his lips and slid his tongue against Koujaku’s lip. All of his piercings on his face were gone. All except the one in his tongue. Koujaku thrust his tongue into Noiz’s mouth eagerly, pushing his body harder against the wall.

Noiz’s head slammed lightly against the wall. He hated to see that Koujaku had control over him like this. He wasn’t going to let that last long. For now, he welcomed it as he groaned softly into Koujaku’s mouth. The air felt hot around them, both feeling suffocated in their formal suits.

Koujaku pulled his head back, looking at what he started. The two stared at each other, feeling the tension rise.

“Bedroom?” Koujaku questioned, feeling his cheeks get hot.

“No, it’s too far away.” Koujaku’s head tilted sideways as he began to question seeing that his bedroom was a mere ten steps from where they were standing. As he opened his mouth, he understood. Ten steps was a waste of precious time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't decided if the next chapter will be part 3 or just something entirely different. Also I have planned out the whole thing finally (organized it) and I'm aiming on it being 17/18 chapters with an epilogue (19)


	6. (Don't) Touch Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noiz and Koujaku do the dirty, Two new Rhyme players wreak havoc, and the morning after gets awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After weeks of waiting, here it is.   
> Posting before I forget, I'll edit this fully by the end of the week.

Noiz was tugged violently towards the single couch in the living room. Maneuvering in the room wasn’t very difficult. The lights were off but the window is quite large- allowing moonlight to shine through- and there isn’t much furniture. Noiz would always buy pointless things, but nothing too big which came in handy during rare times like this.

Noiz took advantage of their position near the couch and shoved Koujaku backwards. He landed with a thump and shot a furious glare up at Noiz. The blonde only responded with a laugh- which in a way sounded very maniacal- and leaned over Koujaku’s body. As Noiz sealed the space between them with a kiss, Koujaku slipped his shoes off skillfully and let them drop to the floor with a few loud bangs. Each time a shoe hit the floor, Noiz made sure to press his tongue against the roof of Koujaku’s mouth and rub the metal ball across the area.

Noiz broke the kiss with a devious smirk before leaning in to kiss Koujaku’s neck.  He started to loosen Koujaku’s tie and eagerly began to unbutton the top half of his shirt between kisses. The blonde bit down at the skin whenever he heard a groan escape Koujaku’s lips. Koujaku’s hands began to wander and soon found their way to Noiz’s blazer, tugging him closer.

Noiz moved his hand over to the arm of the couch and rested a knee beside the old man so he wouldn’t fall on top of Koujaku. He continued to bite and suck at the skin on Koujaku’s neck all the way down to his collarbone, making Koujaku gasp and groan as he held onto Noiz.

Koujaku never stopped to think about what he was even doing. He forgot what Aoba asked him in the bathroom. He forgot that they were just faking their relationship. He forgot that Noiz hated him. He forgot that he hated Noiz. Not once during their current activities did Koujaku even think about how weird this was.

Noiz finished untying Koujaku’s tie and grabbed one of his hands.

“What are you doing, brat?” Koujaku jerked his hand out of Noiz’s grasp. His eyes were trained on Noiz’s confident smile.

“I expected you to be a kinky bastard.” Noiz shrugged and dropped the tie on the ground. His hands immediately moved to his own as Koujaku watched his nimble fingers untie it quickly.

“Fuck you.”

“I’m trying.” Noiz stood up and slid his blazer off of his shoulders, letting the fabric land on the floor in a messy heap. Koujaku watched quietly as Noiz slowly unbuttoned his vest, delicately pushing each individual button through its respective hole. Koujaku’s patience was running thing, forcing him to stand up and slap Noiz’s hands away from the vest.

Before Noiz could protest or say something to piss Koujaku off, he hastily unbuttoned the vest and tore it from Noiz’s torso.

“Calm down old man, we have all night.” Koujaku gave Noiz an odd look. He half expected him to say something rude, disgusting, or perverted, but he never did. It could have been worse. Koujaku rolled his eyes as his hands blindly moved to Noiz’s belt, fumbling awkwardly as he tried to remove it.

He had been longing to see Noiz’s body again. He had seen most of it on a few occasions, remembering specifically the interesting piercings he had both on his navel on the back of his neck. Though he refused to admit it out loud, Koujaku thought they were attractive. When he first met Noiz, he was absolutely sure he despised his reckless child. Now, he couldn’t help but long for his next encounter with Noiz. The way life worked was odd.

While Koujaku was preoccupied with his belt, Noiz quickly unbuttoned his shirt and shimmied out of it before Koujaku could notice. The belt fell from Koujaku’s hands and landed on the floor with a muffled clank. Cold air hit Noiz’s bare skin, nearly making him shiver. He licked hungrily, desperately searching for body heat.

His arms pulled Koujaku’s fully clothed body against his own, forcing a surprised gasp from Koujaku. His hands explored Noiz’s back as their lips were pressed together once more. As his hands wandered, he felt different cuts, the biggest one reaching from the top left side of his ribcage all the way down to his lower back. It felt as if it was almost completely healed, but Koujaku felt a sense of worry. Pushing him to move on, he began to press down on small patches of Noiz’s skin. There was no real reason why he was doing such an odd thing, Koujaku just wanted to touch and claim every inch of Noiz’s body.

As he went, his finger poked a tender bruise, making Noiz bite down lightly on Koujaku’s lower lip. He leaned back, pulling their lips apart to shoot Koujaku a confused stare.

“What are you doing?”

“N-nothing.” Koujaku held his hands up Innocently and took one step backwards away from Noiz.

“Take your jacket off.” Koujaku stared nervously at the other man for a moment before tearing the article of clothing from his body. In that moment, he realized the upper hand Noiz was gaining on him. There was no way Koujaku was going to allow Noiz to take full control. He was younger after all.

Noiz watched carefully, fighting the urge to reach out and tear the rest of the clothes off of Koujaku. He had never seen Koujaku in anything less than his usual kimono which nicely shows off a bit of his chest. There was once where he touched Koujaku, but he hadn’t actually seen it. As he watched, his own hands found the hem of his pants. He slid them off in a fluent motion, letting them drop to his ankles before stepping forward towards Koujaku.

The look on Noiz’s face looked desperate to tear the rest of Koujaku’s clothes off and run his hands over his body. Koujaku smiled, finally feeling as if he gained the upper hand and grabbed Noiz’s wrist. The warmth of his skin made Noiz hesitate for a moment and the next thing he knew, he was shoved violently back onto the couch.

As he landed, Noiz felt his canines dig into the sides of his tongue but not enough to make it bleed. What a shame. Before he spoke a word, he felt his mouth fall open as Koujaku removed his pants in front of him. Part of him wanted to beg Koujaku to take off his shirt but the other part didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

Koujaku licked his bottom lip, making Noiz shiver. He would always defend himself by saying that the air was cold if he was ever asked or made fun of by Koujaku. His leg swung over Noiz as he positioned the majority of his weight right on Noiz’s crotch. The sound that came out of Noiz’s mouth could easily be classified as a whimper, but he would never admit it.

“Take it off.” He grunted, looking anywhere but at Koujaku. Making the Old Man happy was the last thing he wanted to do. Koujaku’s response came quick and panicked.

“Wh-what? No I can’t” Noiz expected a snide comment on how much of a pervert he was for wanting to see more of his body or something outlandish like that, but he sounded nervous.

“Why.” He reached forward and grabbed onto another button, pulling it through the hole and showing off another small bit of Koujaku’s chest before his hand was rudely slapped away. His face grew hot and a bright blush formed on his cheeks.

“I just don’t want to.”

“Do you have a tramp stamp?” Noiz lifted an eyebrow, watching the already bright red blush get even redder.

“No! Stop asking!” His attitude changed completely. His original lust-filled eyes turned into more innocent and scared ones. Noiz started to lay off, almost feeling pity for the guy. Something weird night be under all that.

Their silence grew awkward, Koujaku sat unmoving on top of Noiz’s crotch as he looked up at the ceiling, stuck in his own thought. The lights from the surrounding buildings were surprisingly still lit. Koujaku glanced down, searching for a way to get over this silence. The lights bounced off Noiz’s skin, illuminating the area slightly. He noticed the large, red scars across his chest. They looked recent. The scars made it look like someone had dug claws across his skin, which was impossible because there weren’t any animals who would have claws that big anywhere on the island. “What are these?”

Noiz shook his head and knitted his eyebrows when he looked down at the angry marks Welter left. He left the question unanswered as he watched Koujaku’s long fingers ghost across his chest. His voiced sounded worried, like a mother would act when their child was hurt. Only Noiz wouldn’t know what sounded like.

“Scars.” Koujaku felt Noiz’s calm and cold stare but his eyes were focused on the teen’s chest.

“From where?” Noiz sighed. His body shifted awkwardly underneath Koujaku. He was getting more and more annoyed because everything was derailing and nothing seemed to be about sex anymore.

“A fight, can we just ha-“

“Who?” Koujaku cut in, his face leaned into Noiz so they were a mere inches apart. Noiz’s eyes shifted to the right and glanced around the empty room. When he blinked and positioned his gaze  back to Koujaku. His stare was left unmoved and focused right on the blonde.

Instead of an answer, he wrapped his arm around Koujaku’s neck, forcing their lips together messily. Things clicked back into place and Koujaku found his way into Noiz’s mouth, rubbing the bottom on his tongue over his piercing and grinding his hips down against Noiz’s crotch.

Noiz’s breath hitched at the sudden increase of friction and balled his hands into fists for a moment before unclenching his hands and sliding them down the fabric of Koujaku’s shirt. He managed to snake his way down to his ass, cupping it in one hand before he squeezed it.

Koujaku shot up, sitting upright in response, glaring at Noiz. ‘He just has to ruin it!’ replayed over and over in his head. He always has to push more and more.

“If you won’t let me touch it, how can I fuck you?” Noiz tilted his head to the left slightly as he questioned Koujaku.

“Because you’re not going to.”

“Don’t think I’m letting you fuck me, old man.”

“Then we aren’t having sex then.” Koujaku stood up and scanned the room for his clothing. Noiz sat up and let out a frustrated sigh.

“Fight me for it.”

“What? Brat, I’m not going to fi-“

“Like a bet.”

“I’m listening.” All Noiz needed was to hear those two words. His sly grin stretched as wide as it could, the mischief was practically pouring out of him at this moment.

“First one to moan the other’s name loses.” Koujaku raised a brow and contemplated Noiz’s offer. He was not so sure that he would be able to win this bet, but with true determination and self control, he could do it. If only he had true determination and self control.

“Deal.” Noiz grabbed onto the back of Koujaku’s shirt and pulled him backwards onto the couch. Without a second’s notice, he felt the fabric of his boxers getting tugged out of the way. “W-what? Noiz! No fair!”

“Anything goes.” He responded curtly with a shrug before eagerly pulling Koujaku’s cock out and holding it firmly in his hand. Now he had done this before. Though not to Koujaku, he was confident that this was a good strategy.

Koujaku took a deep breath and watched as Noiz began to move his hand up and down, his firm grip sliding on his shaft. His breath hitched and his hands wrapped around the edge of the couch to keep himself from touching him. It was difficult for him to think, how would he ever win this bet. Without disturbing Noiz, he shakily slid closer to the edge of the couch.

“Fuck.” Koujaku growled when Noiz stuck out his tongue and ran it along the slide of his shaft quickly. With a smirk, he stared at the head, playing with his piercing by rubbing it against his top lip. He had this in the bag.

Without any further hesitation, Noiz leaned down again and swirled his tongue on the head of his cock. He felt Koujaku’s crimson eyes staring down at him, but only for a brief moment before slipping the entire head into his mouth. A short and quiet moan came out of Koujaku’s mouth. He cursed himself for doing it, but he hadn’t lost yet. Just a wordless moan.

To Noiz, it was just what he needed. It was fuel to the fucking fire. He took in more of Koujaku, listening for what he wanted to hear. Koujaku’s eyes shut as he bit his lip, begging himself not to mess this up. The longer Koujaku went without responding, the more irritated Noiz got. He was not one to lose.

Koujaku opened one eye, watching Noiz’s head bob and took in the moment as much as he could.  Noiz lightly slid his teeth across his shaft, wondering if Koujaku was a kinky man. He wasn’t. He rolled his eyes and eased himself off of Koujaku, watching the strings of saliva connect his mouth and Koujaku’s dick for a few moments.

Koujaku took the pause as an opportunity. And opportunity to do what, not even Koujaku knew. Noiz didn’t know what hit him. He was ambushed. Next thing he knew, he was on his back and Koujaku’s torso hung over him like an enormous shadow. In any other circumstance, Noiz may have felt a glint of fear.

His hips grinded down against Noiz’s again, staring down at him with satisfaction in his eyes. Noiz grit his teeth and clung to the fabric on Koujaku’s arms, hoping he could find a way to push him off. With his attempts growing to be useless, he decided to let him have his chance. If Koujaku wanted to have a little fun and try to win, here was his opportunity.

He allowed his arms to get pinned above his head but never expected him to reach over and grab Noiz’s belt to use. Koujaku wrapped it tightly around Noiz’s wrists before repositioning himself back to where he had been.

“I told you that you were a kinky bastard.”

“Shut up.” Koujaku growled while sliding his hips back to sit on his thighs. He tiled his head as he looked at Noiz. Now that he finally had most of the power, he didn’t quite know how to use it. He had been with a few women, but never a man. A sense of panic rushed over him as he wondered if there was much difference.

With a mental shrug, he decided to just do what he would normally do and hope for the best. Koujaku leaned down and started to leave kisses on his chest, moving his hand slowly down towards the hem of Noiz’s boxers. He started to bite at the skin by his collarbone, kissing over the spot he bit gingerly.

Noiz bit his lower lip. The way Koujaku was treating him almost seemed like he actually loved him. He knew that wasn’t true, so he tried to forget it and hoped he did something else.

Koujaku’s tongue flicked at one of Noiz’s nipples, making him shiver. A hint of disappointment hit Koujaku at the lack of response from Noiz. Half of him knew it was because he wanted to win, but the other half was worried he didn’t like it.

He slid down further, licking a thick line above the top of Noiz’s boxers before pulling them down with his teeth. The sight nearly made Noiz gasp, but he kept quiet. With a quick motion, Noiz was hoisted into the air and pushed back down onto his knees and his chest pressed against the coffee table.

Koujaku removed the belt aggressively and threw it across the room. Noiz moved his arms to the table, pushing his chest off the table slightly.

“What are you doing?”  Noiz cocked his head back to see Koujaku. As if to answer the question, Koujaku grabbed Noiz’s ass with a tight grip. He swallowed hard, knowing that this was something that he had never done. Koujaku reluctantly moved his head closer to Noiz’s ass, leaving Noiz to watch in confusion.

Koujaku’s tongue swirled around Noiz’s entrance lightly as he pulled his head back nervously. He usually wasn’t nervous during sex and he really shouldn’t be around Noiz. But he didn’t want Noiz to be better at it than he was.

“Shit.” Noiz stared forward with wide eyes. He never expected Koujaku to do that and if that was only the beginning, he was in for something. Noiz’s words were some sort of confidence boost, making Koujaku lean in and try again. This time, he pressed harder, swirling around his hole more than once.

Noiz moaned as Koujaku continued. He felt completely vulnerable. Instant lose. Noiz decided to cut the shit already. He figured he would lose anyway if Koujaku kept going like this and he just wanted Koujaku to fuck him already.

Koujaku’s fingers crept towards Noiz’s cock and began to stroke him simultaneously. Noiz bit his lip and covered his mouth with one of his hands, masking the chain of moans that were coming from his mouth.

“Mmm, Koujaku.” Noiz moaned mindlessly. Both of them didn’t notice right away. He realized, half-heartedly praying that Koujaku didn’t hear that. Moments after Noiz noticed, Koujaku noticed. He sat back with the largest grin on his face.

“I won.”

“Shut up, just fuck me already.” Noiz rolled his eyes. Koujaku replied by rolling his eyes as well before leaving the room and grabbing the small bottle of lube Noiz had on his bed side table. When he returned, Noiz sat unmoved from his position over the coffee table but was looking a bit angry.

Without asking the reason of his sour attitude, Koujaku squirted a good amount of lube onto his hand and spread it onto his fingers. For a moment, Koujaku teased Noiz by circling his pointer finger around his entrance, making him groan. “Just do it.” Noiz growled.

Koujaku stuck two fingers in at once and Noiz gasped loudly. This was the most proper sex he has had since the fall of the tower. It felt weird to him. His fingers moved and stretched him. He added a third finger and moved them around equally until he thought Noiz was ready.

He positioned himself by Noiz’s entrance.

“Ready?” Noiz nodded eagerly. Koujaku pushed himself in all the way and stopped. He noticed Noiz’s tight grip on the edges of the table and heard a soft whimper. Noiz bit his tongue and left them in silence for a moment or two.

“Go.”

Koujaku pulled back and began to thrust back and forth slowly, causing Noiz to groan. “You can go faster than that, Old Man.” He started to pick up the pace, pushing hard into Noiz. Noiz’s completely audible moans pushed Koujaku to try harder and to keep going.

He was breathing heavily but his momentum did not falter. Noiz felt Koujaku’s nails dig into the skin covering his bony hips but he didn’t care. He felt it and that’s all that mattered. the blonde felt a hand grab his cock, pumping it to the rhythm of his thrusts.

Koujaku was at an all time high. He was determined to make Noiz come. He wanted Noiz to feel good because of him. He didn’t know why he wanted those things, but he did. Every time Noiz would spit out his name in the middle of moans, Koujaku’s mood would skyrocket.

Noiz felt moans spilling out of him like a waterfall and he didn’t mind that some were filled with the Old Man’s name. He hated to refer to him as anything but the old man, but this was an exception.

“N-Noiz, I…I’m gonna.” Noiz nodded signaling that he was about to come as well. Koujaku fit in a few more long and fast thrusts before the warm liquid filled the inside of Noiz. Koujaku continued to pump Noiz until he came as well. The two of them were covered in the sticky fluid but both of them way too tired to care.

“So…that happened.” Koujaku sat back on the couch, slipping back into his boxers. Noiz shakily stood, not bothering to clean himself up or put on any of his clothes. He just looked around and saw the scattered mess of clothing they were surrounded in. Noiz just nodded and walked into his bedroom.

With a sigh, Koujaku lie down on the couch and fell asleep within the next hour without another word. Noiz collapsed on the bed and fell asleep quickly. They’ll figure themselves out in the morning.

* * *

 

The scream echoed through the alleyway. This was the third one this week. The two stood gleefully as their opponent’s corpse sat before them. Rhyme was supposed to be a fun game. Competitors were supposed to play fair. Drive-bys were much different.

Normally an opponent would stop once they were declared the winner, but they had to go the extra mile. Virus and Trip weren’t really into Rhyme, but had watched Aoba play very frequently in the past. Maybe it was the boredom eating away at them after the Oval Tower collapse, forcing them not to associate with Toue any longer. They were quite good at Rhyme.

“He’s dead.” Trip stood from the corpse and turned to Virus. He stood with his hands behind his back and smiled.

“Then we’re done here.”

Virus never really liked to get violent but after much persuasion and begging from Trip, he agreed to try Rhyme. The duo created a team in which they not so cleverly named, Morphine. People were terrified just from the sound of it, knowing of Morphine’s dark past. The disappearances and how the victims were found was enough to strike horror in their hearts.

With enough armor and modifications, Hersha and Welter were more than ready to compete in the virtual game. The two had spent days designing and creating their Allmates’ in-game form. Hersha grew two extra heads, its body was covers from head to tail in metallic black armor, and the size of its fangs doubled. Welter on the other hand had a tail redesigned to have a pointed end like a spear, large claws and fangs, and was covered in the same armor.

Trip stepped over the corpse and took his typical spot next to Virus before they sauntered out of the alleyway. It usually took days for someone to find the body but people were aware that a serial murderer was about. That’s what they thought. The doctors had no idea how each victim died, their brains and nervous systems were completely destroyed.

Virus and Trip knew they were forcing players to die agonizing deaths but they didn’t mind. Rhyme was enough to entertain them for the time being so that’s what they did. Screw playing by the rules.

* * *

 

_“Koujaku….fuck…!!” Aoba cried out as Koujaku pushed into him. He lovingly placed a kiss on Aoba’s lips and was greeted with a smile and a nod of affirmation, letting Koujaku know he was ready. As Koujaku began to slowly thrust back and forth, he was greeted by the wonderful moans of his best friend._

_Aoba’s soft, quick breaths and firm grip on his kimono urged him to continue, thrusting faster until he heard the sweet sound of his moans again. Koujaku felt beads of sweat form on his face and quickly wiped them away before they rolled down his face._

_Being with Aoba was everything he had ever hoped for. Seeing that look of pleasure on his face was enough to make him happy forever. He wanted to make Aoba happy. Not one things made Koujaku regret using Noiz to get to Aoba._

_“Ah! Koujaku, I’m gonna come!” Aoba’s eyes shut and Koujaku thrust harder. He was going to make Aoba come._

_The door flew open, Noiz angrily standing in the doorway. Koujaku froze._

_“Get the fuck off my couch.” Koujaku looked down only to see that he and Aoba were in fact on Noiz’s living room couch. The scene seemed weird for a moment before he realized that he fell asleep on Noiz’s couch._

_“Old Man, I’m serious.” Noiz bent down and slapped Koujaku, dragging him out of his dream world._

He awoke, Noiz standing in front of him and his cheek was in pain. He actually slapped him. Oh.

“Are you done having wet dreams about Aoba on my couch or do I have to hit you again?” Noiz rolled his eyes. Koujaku stared at the white towel tied around Noiz’s hips and how messy his damp hair looked.

“What?” Koujaku stood up and stopped himself before he bowed and apologized. He didn’t deserve an apology. “Can I take a shower?”

“Whatever.”

Koujaku awkwardly shuffled passed Noiz and made his way to the bathroom. His bathroom was surprisingly tidy and fancy. The black tiled floors glimmered in the ceiling lights, large mirror across the entire north wall of the room. It was a big bathroom for an apartment, fitting an entire Jacuzzi bathtub and a shower. The shower intrigued Koujaku. From the outside, it just looked like a glass cube with a drain at the bottom. There wasn’t a shower head.

With a shrug, Koujaku decided to press the button and water started to rain down from the ceiling and land in the glass shower hitting the cream colored ceramic tiles on the floor. Impressive.

His shower was quick. Koujaku would have spent an hour in the thing just because it was really damn neat. When he returned to the living room, Noiz was in a new pair of boxers sitting calmly on the couch. His computer screen was displayed in front of him and he was typing furiously away on the keyboard.

“Oi, Brat.”

“What.” He answered without looking up from his screen.

“We have to talk.” Noiz rolled his eyes and shut the screen off.

“About what?”

“About last night.” Koujaku took a deep breath. Noiz kept his attention on Koujaku, but didn’t have a reply. “I know last night didn’t mean anything insignificant but I-“

“If you are trying to actually ask me out, the answer is no.”

“That’s not what I was going to say!”

“Then what? You sound like an idiot.”

“I was trying to say, I know that we both aren’t interested in each other romantically-“

“Your horny ass just wants to fuck me don’t you?”

“Fuck you, just let me finish!”

“Go on.” Noiz said with a sigh.

“Well I don’t like to lie to Aoba, and I believe that us having sex would make this more believable so maybe we should um……continue…..uh…..having sex?”

“That sounds even dumber than what I said. This has nothing to do with our fake relationship bullshit.”

“Yes it does!”

“Admit it, you just want to have sex with me on the regular.”

“Fine. You’re right.”

“Okay.” Noiz’s answer wasn’t a yes or no which frustrated Koujaku. To be honest, Noiz wanted to have sex with Koujaku whenever he wanted, but he wasn’t going to say that. He could just agree nonchalantly and be thankful that Koujaku brought it up first.

Koujaku felt completely embarrassed for asking, but he couldn’t leave this as a onetime thing. He had no romantic feelings towards Noiz, he had a feeling that all of his previous thoughts and dreams were formed entirely out of lust and he had no actual crush at all. Seeing Noiz’s body excited Koujaku, but whenever he opened his mouth, he wanted to punch Noiz in the face.

“Okay? What does that mean?!”

“It means okay.”

“Are you okay with it?”

“Sure.” Koujaku rolled his eyes and walked out of the apartment before he actually punched Noiz in the face. He was happy that Noiz said yes.

On his walk home, he noticed he had three missed calls on his Coil.

Missed Call (3) – Aoba

He instantly called back.

“Hey Koujaku! Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

“Sorry, Aoba I was taking a shower.”

“I thought you would call when you got home last night.” Aoba sounded slightly disappointed.

“I haven’t been home yet.”

“Were you with Noiz!?” Aoba gasped and sounded excited. Since when was he so interested in gossiping like this? Weird. It’s like none of his friends have ever had a lover before.

“Y-yes.”

“Can you come over later?” Shit. He probably wanted to talk face to face about him. That could get awkward.

“Yeah, when do you get off work?”

“Four.” Koujaku checked the time, 12:38

“I’ll be over then. Bye Aoba.”

“Bye you hippo.” Great. Koujaku knew Aoba wasn’t the type to grill him for every little detail, but he was embarrassed to tell Aoba even vague details about what happened last night after their double date. He didn’t want Aoba to know.

Maybe if he camped out around Tae, he would be safe for the visit. Aoba definitely wouldn’t ask around his Granny.

Koujaku remembered the dream he had last night as well. How would he look Aoba in the face without thinking of the position he was in during his dream. The soft moans leaving Aoba’s lips and the way Koujaku gingerly kissed his lips.

 

* * *

 

Four eventually rolled around and Koujaku found himself standing on the other side of Aoba’s front door. Waiting. His fist hovered a few minutes before knocking once. No answer. He knocked once more and heard footsteps nearing the door.

“Hey.” Koujaku’s eyes met Aoba. A not so innocent image of Aoba flashed in his mind. He tore his eyes from Aoba and spoke.

“A-Aoba…..Hi.”

 

 


	7. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cause every story needs one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> broken computers and writers block is a bitch.

“Tell me everything, Koujaku.” Aoba’s tone seemed different than normal which confused Koujaku. He always expected him to be all secretive about his sex life, so what was his deal about trying to get into his business?

“Can we talk inside?” Koujaku innocently shrugged.

Aoba followed his friend inside, sitting next to him on the couch, inching closer a little too excitedly.

“What happened last night, Koujaku?”

“I spent the night at the brat’s house, I was too tired to walk back home so he let me sleep there.”

“Oi, I know when you’re lying you hippo.” Aoba’s smile grew. Koujaku felt himself blushing.

“If you already know, why do I have to tell you?” He felt insanely awkward. Koujaku loved feeling confident and in control, but something about this conversation made him embarrassed. Did Noiz actually make him nervous? Or was it because of Aoba’s interrogation?

“He told me already, but unless you want me to take his word for it you better tell me your side of the story?” Aoba really wasn’t going to let up. Koujaku was ready to call his friend’s bluff but the small part of him that believed that Noiz really did tell him already ate away at him. How did Noiz put it?

“What did Noiz tell you?”

“He told me you guys did some things.”

“What things?!”

“You tell me.” Aoba leaned back on the couch, feeling like he won this conversation. Koujaku opened his mouth to respond when the door flung open. The two turned towards the door to see Noiz standing in the doorway.

“Honey, I’m home.”

The room fell silent, the three of them were still, staring back and forth between each other. Noiz had an idea about the situation he just walked into. Aoba was trying to talk about last night. He suspected either Aoba wanted to ask why he never got home last night or Koujaku just had to tell someone about the awesome sex he had last night.

Aoba felt there was some sort of tension between the two, almost like they had a big fight. The reason why he came over to ask because it wasn’t like Koujaku to just sleep over someone’s house. He didn’t want to doubt Koujaku, but Aoba felt like he had to protect Noiz.

Koujaku was made to believe that Noiz had already told about what happened last night. He was embarrassed to be in a room with a guy he just slept with and the guy he wanted to sleep with. Well not just sleep with, the guy he actually wanted to date. Aoba and Koujaku exchanged another glance and when they turned back towards the door, Noiz was gone.

“Okay, there’s something you guys aren’t telling me.” Aoba frowned.

“Remember what we were talking about in the bathroom last night?”

“About you using him?”

“Not that.” Koujaku stared down at the carpet.

“About what?”

“When you said that Noiz told you we had…” he trailed off, he was too embarrassed to finish his sentence.

“Sex?” Aoba’s tone started to sound more concerned and less excited. Was he jealous? Koujaku perked up, feeling that Aoba was upset at the thought.

“We did.”

“Last night?”

“Yes.”

"You guys haven’t been dating long, are you sure you should have done that? Noiz doesn’t look too happy.”

“Is that what this is about?”

“I’m worried you guys are moving too fast, Koujaku. How about you-”

“It was his idea!” Koujaku snapped.

“Whatever, just be careful.” Aoba rolled his eyes and Koujaku stood up to leave.

* * *

 

The next morning, Koujaku walked over to Noiz’s apartment. After Aoba left, he could not stop thinking about Noiz. He questioned if their fake relationship was moving too fast in everyone’s eyes. Maybe dropping this act would be for the best. It would stop Aoba from acting like a mother hen and he could focus on spending time with Aoba.

The more he thought, the more he realized that he was stuck. If he “broke up” with Noiz a few days after they slept together, Aoba would be convinced that he was only using Noiz. If he kept “dating” Noiz, Aoba would continue to be overprotective and won’t be interested in “breaking Noiz’s heart.” The only option he had was to convince Noiz to “break up” with Koujaku.

Koujaku wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to fake break up with Noiz. Talking to Noiz was the best and worst part of his day. Despite getting on each other’s nerves day in and day out, Koujaku thought Noiz was entertaining. Noiz was unlike anyone he has ever met. Sometimes that was a bad thing, but he had some good qualities. Very few of them. If Aoba saw some good in that kid, it had to be in there somewhere.

Koujaku waited outside Noiz’s apartment after knocking once. He rocked back and forth between his toes and his heels, waiting for the door to open. Surprisingly enough, that never happened. He patted his pockets, realizing he had a key to Noiz’s apartment.

The room was dark. Noiz wasn't home. Koujaku sighed and let himself inside anyway, hoping he came home soon. He closed the door behind him, leaving him in the silence of the living room. A tiny little cube was sitting on the coffee table. It looked like the ones Noiz always carried around with him.

Koujaku curiously walked over to it. As he knelt down, the cube leaped into the air and landed a few inches further away from him. Weird. Besides the sound it made when it landed on the table, the cube was quiet. He reached his hand out in front of him to poke the cube. Again, it jumped back a few more inches. Koujaku followed the cube with his finger until it reached the opposite end of the table.

When he reached for it this time, instead of jumping, the cube let out a quiet squeak.

"Intruder." The cube spoke to him. It wasn't an alarming tone but it sounded as if it was about to burst with loud noises to let people know he wasn't supposed to be in here.

"What? No"

"Intruder."

"Shh, I'm just waiting for Noiz."

"Noiz is present." The cube replied. If Noiz was here, why was the apartment so dark? Koujaku backed away from the cube and poked his head into the bathroom. Empty. Since the living room and kitchen were also empty, he had to be in the bedroom.

He opened the door slowly, cringing as it creaked. Koujaku tip toed into the room to see Noiz wrapped up in a thin, white blanket. He remembered the last time he saw Noiz asleep. It was one of the only times he wasn't getting into trouble.

Koujaku remembered finding him asleep and wet underneath his shop sign. Back then he didn't really pay attention to how he looked, he was angry at the time.

He almost didn't want to wake him up this time, but it was nearly noon and Koujaku felt a little weird if he watched him sleep for too long. Koujaku picked up a boot from Noiz's bedroom floor and tossed it towards the bed. The boot landed on his back with a thud, but Noiz did not move. Koujaku looked down, looking for other things to throw until Beni flew from his pocket and landed on the blond's head.

Be I hopped over to Noiz's ear and began pecking the side of his head like a woodpecker.

"Rise and shine, loser." Beni chirped. Noiz was still.

"Why are you here?" He heard him speak. So he was awake. Beni flew back to Koujaku's pocket, not wanting to get swatted at.

"I wanted to take you out on a date." Noiz rolled over to face Koujaku with an irritated expression.

"What if I don't want to?"

"Y-you have to," Koujaku looked down at the floor, "It's part of the deal."

"Since when?" Noiz sat up, letting the blanket fall from his shoulders, exposing his torso to the chilled air.

"If we're dating we have to go on dates, brat." Koujaku was getting annoyed. Noiz was being difficult. Noiz was making him nervous. Taking him out on a fake date made him nervous. Koujaku barely ever felt nervous until Noiz came along.

"We aren't really dating, old man. Just tell Aoba we went on dates."

"I can't lie to Aoba." Koujaku shook his head.

"Whenever we have sex, we'll call it a date. Technically that's not lying."

"Just let me do this once."

"Where are you taking me?" Koujaku expected him to sound interested with that question but he sounded as bored as he did when he woke up.

"It's a surprise." Koujaku bitterly replied. Noiz really knew how to piss him off..

"Surprises are for couples." Noiz threw off his blanket and walked over to his closet. Koujaku's eyes widened when he looked up at Noiz to see that he was completely naked. He had been having a conversation with him and he had been naked the entire time.

"You're being a brat." He growled. Noiz walked out of his closet, pulling a shirt over his head.

"Stop trying to be my boyfriend."

“Just let me take you out on a date!”

"Fine."

"Because I said so!"

"Fine." Noiz stared at Koujaku until he calmed down. He opened his mouth to say something again but before any words came out, the realization hit him. Noiz already said yes.

"Really?" Koujaku never expected him to agree. He imagined that he would finally give up and open his shop or do something fun without Noiz. The blond merely nodded with an added eye roll that Koujaku decided to disregard for now.

He left the room, hoping Noiz would follow. When they got to the sidewalk, Noiz reached out to grab Koujaku's hand as they walked.

"Don't touch me, brat!" He hastily pulled his hand away.

"Thought I saw Aoba." Noiz chuckled. Pushing Koujaku's buttons was extremely easy and entertaining. Noiz really didn't want to spend the day with Koujaku, but if it would get him off his back, he would do it. There was that and he could spend the day pissing off the old man until he cracks.

They walked a few blocks until they reached a side of town Noiz wasn't too familiar with. He honestly thought he had explored every inch of this island when he got here. How could he have missed it? There was a large blue building in front of them with a cartoon whale painted over the front doors.

They didn't walk very far yet Noiz was utterly confused. Was this new? The thought of something foreign scared Noiz a little but he showed no signs of it. Koujaku led Noiz to the doors underneath the whale. He pushed the door open and followed Koujaku inside.

Everything started to make sense. Noiz remembered seeing advertisements for this place on buildings and bulletin boards. Brand new, indoor water park. The fears started to creep up on Noiz again. Everything about this place started to freak him out.

"Hope you like swimming. I'll go get the wristbands." Koujaku walked off, leaving Noiz in the middle of the lobby. He watched small children tugging at their mothers' purses, whining about not wanting to leave yet. He saw a group of teenagers in line to rent lockers to put all of their stuff in. He saw so many people of every age, absolutely excited about going to a water park. He wondered what people saw in water parks.

Was it the slides that drop you nearly ninety degrees? Was it the bucket that filled up with forty gallons of water only to be dropped on a crowd of laughing people? None of that seemed appealing. Swimming was a waste of time. Part of him wished his mother taught him how. Koujaku returned with the wristbands, over excitedly waving them in the air.

"Can you put it on yourself, old man or do you need a Boy Scout to help you?"

"I am perfectly capable of putting it on myself!" Koujaku rolled his eyes, "Are you sure that you can put yours on because it looks like you need adult supervision."

"You're right." Noiz said quickly with a deadpan look on his face and holding his wrist out towards Koujaku.

Koujaku slapped his hand away. He never got offended by any witty remark he threw at Noiz. He was frustrated that Noiz could get to him so easily yet he was never even phased by anything Koujaku said. Damn Noiz.

With a smirk, Noiz shook his head and put his own wristband on before following Koujaku to the locker room. As packed as the lobby was, the locker room was surprisingly empty. Their locker was a large one in the left hand corner next to the showers. Koujaku handed Noiz his extra swimsuit and started to put on his own.

As much as Noiz would have enjoyed to see Koujaku completely shirtless, he opted not to say anything when he left a black t shirt on. Koujaku's bathing suit was red with green and black soaring birds. Noiz put on the bathing sui provided to him, it was blue and black striped with a single green star on the right leg. It didn't look like anything Koujaku would wear which confused Noiz.

As he took a deep breath, he smelled the mass amounts of chlorine filling the air. Pools smelled weird. They started to walk into the actual park and Noiz felt himself filling up with nerves, hoping he could fake knowing how to swim for today. If Koujaku knew that he couldn't swim, he would never hear the end of it. Though he rarely shows any form of weakness when Koujaku says something rude back, sometimes his insults are spot on and Noiz loses his sense of superiority towards him. He knows he can't show weakness or people will just show pity. Noiz hated pity.

He walked around, paying close attention to what exactly this place had to offer. There was a large sign in the middle with arrows pointing in every direction, telling visitors where the attractions were. Body slides to the left, Kiddie area forward, Wave pool the the left, and a few other things Noiz wasn’t interested enough to read. Before he knew it, he had lost sight of Koujaku. Noiz sighed, hoping that meant that he was allowed to leave.

“Sir, what are you looking for?” he heard a voice. When he turned around, he saw a short, blonde woman wearing a red bathing suit and jacket, both with a white plus sign and the word, ‘Lifeguard’ printed underneath it. Part of Noiz wanted to laugh, how could something so fun need people to guard lives? “Sir?”

“Yeah, I’m looking for my grandfather.” He spoke with a grin.

“Oh, dear.” She turned to scan the area, “I can help you find him if you want.” The lifeguard looked back at Noiz, twirling her hair with her finger flirtily. Noic caught on to her attempts to spend more time with him were obviously not because she was interested in finding his grandpa.

“Oi! Noiz! Why weren’t you behind me!?” Koujaku stormed over once he realized that Noiz had not been behind him for quite some time. Noiz noticed the frown on the lifeguards face when his “grandfather” had been found.

“You walk too fast for an old man.”

“So this is your grandfather?” Koujaku already had his mouth open, ready to respond to Noiz’s remark but froze when he heard the girl call him a grandfather.

“Yeah.” Noiz responded before Koujaku could figure out words to say.

“He seems a little young?”

“So, you’re trying to sleep with my grandfather?” Noiz smiled evilly, watching the lady’s face warp into total confusion and Koujaku was still scratching his head from he original grandfather remark.

“I’m not trying to sleep with your grandfather, I was just saying he looks a little young to-”

“Well good, because he already sleeps with me,” Noiz pushed passed the woman and stormed off, pulling Koujaku behind him, “Come on Old Man.” Noiz sort of wished he stayed to see the woman’s reaction to that, but he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to keep up the act. Koujaku’s confused face was way too distracting. What a shame.

“Noiz! What just happened!?”

“Don’t worry about it.” he said nonchalantly, still fighting back laughter. It wasn’t a big thing or was it particularly funny, but the reactions pushed it over the edge for Noiz. He hadn’t had to force himself not to laugh in a very long time nor did he genuinely laugh since he was with Aoba.

“What happened?”

“She wanted to sleep with you, so I told her you were my grandpa.” He lied, “Then she looked like she was into that, so I told her I slept with you.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I think you have done in a while, brat.” Koujaku’s face was bright red, matching all the lifeguards’ outfits.

“Why, did you want to sleep with her?”

“No!”

“Then I don’t see an issue.”

“You don’t just tell people you sleep with your own grandfather nor do you say that I am old enough to be a grandpa!”

“Next time you can be my brother.”

“That’s not any better!”

“Fine.” Noiz shrugged, giving up this argument. Fighting with Koujaku like that would normally lead to a physical fight and he wasn’t in the mood to be kicked out of another place. The two opted to walk in silence over to the wave pool. Noiz was unaware of the fact that this was a wave pool because the waves only run at certain times. It was just a normal pool, Noiz thought to himself. He sat himself in a clear inner tube and allowed himself to float  to the far side of the pool.

Koujaku passed on the inner tube and decided to swim beside Noiz’s tube to the end of the pool. He enjoyed floating with the waves. A red light flickered on and a bell sounded, causing a few children to scream and run further towards the far wall of the pool.

As waves started to grown, Noiz began to panic. He feared that his tube will tip and he would not be able to float with the wave. If there were no waves, he would be able to stand. The pool only got to five feet deep with waves. With waves, the water would be far above his head.

Ten agonizing minutes went by and the waves started to die. Noiz clung to his tube like it was his life-line. Koujaku was laughing and enjoying what was left of the waves. It was always fun to him to float up and down with the waves, feeling his toes lift from the bottom of the pool like he was flying. Once the waves completely stopped, Koujaku looked over at Noiz, noticing that he seemed particularly scared for some reason.

“Noiz, what’s wrong?” He spoke as he swam over to him. It really wasn’t like him to be so concerned about Noiz, but he was curious.

“Nothing.” Noiz said, looking away from Koujaku.

“It can’t be nothing.” Koujaku nudged the tube and watched Noiz quickly grab the handles and take a deep breath. It was weird seeing him so vulnerable. People can act so tough until they must face their fear. “Can you swim?”

Noiz turned to look at Koujaku and shook his head. That’s why.

Before he could open his mouth to speak, the buzzer went off and the waves began to pick up once more. Koujaku quickly turned to Noiz. As the waves went higher the more panic built up inside of Noiz. He looked down into the water and watched it rise and fall rapidly.

A group of children were swimming towards the deep end of the pool, splashing each other as they went. One of the children hid behind Noiz's tube to protect himself from the splashes. The other two children laughed and swam closer. The little boy submerged himself under the water and pushed off the wall to get to safety. As he swam, Noiz turned to find the little boy. He just wanted the kids to leave him alone. As he turned, a wave hit and knocked him off of his inner tube. Noiz hit the water with a splash. As he tried to get footing on the bottom of the pool, the waves continued to push him upwards, away from solid ground. Noiz knew that struggling with the water like this would only make things worse. So he stopped.

Part of him felt like he was floating, part of him felt like he was falling. He hated this feeling but also felt a sense of calmness. Noiz realized that he didn't care. He never cared what happened to him. He remembered the first thing he heard when he landed in the water. 'Fall.' Since when did he give a damn about what happened to him? He let people beat him up. He let people hurt him. But now, he tried to live. He had never gone to such lengths to keep himself alive since the fall of the tower. Even then, he offered to stay behind when he got hurt so Aoba would live. No matter how extreme the circumstances were, Noiz never cared if he lived or died. So why now?

Strong arms wrapped around Noiz as he felt himself being dragged out of the water. Opening one eye to look, he saw Koujaku and another guy leaning over him.

"Oi, Noiz!" He heard Koujaku say. He sounded concerned or even frightened. Weird. Noiz opened both eyes and tried to speak, but only a fit of coughs came in reply. "Noiz!"

"Chill out, Old Man."

"You scared the crap out of me, brat!" Koujaku growled. The lifeguard beside him nodded and decided to leave the two of them alone.

"So you do care about me" Noiz joked.

"Let's just go home."

Nothing eventful happened on the walk home. Neither of them said a word. They walked further apart than they did on the way there. Noiz didn't mind the silence. He would rather their walk be filled with no words at all instead of Koujaku's useless opinions. Koujaku felt awkward about the silence. He felt guilty about what happened to Noiz and was on the verge of a sincere apology. He opted to say nothing in the end.

By the time the two of them got to Noiz's apartment, Koujaku had figured out what he wanted to say. He had originally planned on just dropping him off and leaving him there until the events of earlier today has occurred. He followed Noiz upstairs to his apartment. Noiz just walked forward, not even looking behind him to see if he was being followed. He honestly hoped that he was alone because he just wanted to forget about earlier. Just as he opened the door to his apartment, he pulled the door so it would close behind him. Instead of hearing the door click shut, he heard a familiar voice and a loud thump of a hand slamming on hard wood.

"Noiz!" Noiz rolled his eyes. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for dragging you to that waterpark. I didn't know you couldn't swim and it's my fault, I'll admit it this time. I can teach you how to swim. It's not that difficult. It's like riding a bike."

Noiz's blank stare was making Koujaku nervous. He very rarely have sincere apologies (especially to Noiz) and now he felt like it wasn't even being appreciated. Koujaku knew that Noiz didn't deserve an apology. He didn't deserve anything. Koujaku didn't owe the brat anything. At least that's what he thought.

"I can't do that, old man."

"What? Ride a bike?" Noiz shook his head. Koujaku stood there, perplexed. What was his childhood like? He didn't understand how he never learned things most children learn. Koujaku even learned even after what happened to him. He taught himself to swim. Koujaku didn't know everything about Noiz like Aoba did. "Okay I guess I don't have to teach you anything but I'm still sorry about today."

"Alright."

"Alright?"

"Alright." Noiz repeated

Koujaku sighed and let out a simple, "Whatever." In reply before he closed yhe door behind him with a slam and left the apartment.

Noiz was grateful that he left. He was not looking forward to any yelling, screaming, or fighting any time soon and that was a first. Normally he would be all for a fight but one with Koujaku, he wasn't feeling it. As much as he didn't want to fight with Koujaku, he wanted to fight someone else. Noiz hadn't played Rhyme since he let that guy beat him a few weeks ago. He started to crave it again. He missed the feeling he got when he defeated his opponent in a drive-by. He missed the look on his opponent's face when they realize that there is no was they are going to beat him. He even missed the feeling he got when he was successfully attacked. Noiz stared longingly at Usagimodoki sitting on the table.

Without another thought, Noiz grabbed Usagimodoki and stormed out of his apartment. It didn't take long for him to get to his usual area and set up a server to drag in an unsuspecting player.

Once one was found, him and his opponent was dragged into the game. As rhyme formed around them, Noiz took a good look at his opponent. She didn't seem surprised by the drive-by. She looked like she knew this was going to happen. According to the information he gathered, her Rhyme name was Calamity. She had a lizard type allmate that was modified to take the form of a dragon during Rhyme matches. She was one of the top players on the island and many people have been afraid to even challenge her. The woman herself looks small. She was wearing a short, black and red polka dotted dress, black high heels, and had long black hair. She didn't look too intimidating but she didn't necessarily look too friendly either.

Her allmate roared, ready for battle. Noiz attack first, watching her block with ease. When it was her turn, Calamity easily weakened Noiz's defenses. Noiz knew that he was one of the best on the island as well, but what he didn't get wd why he was getting weakened so easily. If they were as strong as each other, why did this seem to go in her favor? Noiz knew he was off. He was out of it ever since Koujaku started bothering him. She landed another attack without hesitation and before Noiz coil get up the proper defense. His next attack wasn't any better. He had landed a small hit, watching her defense move from 100% to 98%.

In the end, he was defeated without landing a single solid attack. The woman left without saying a word. The only sound Noiz heard were the loud clicks of her heels on the concrete as she left.

Noiz was hurt, but not as badly as other Rhyme matches. She went easy on him. She must have suspected that he was not playing his best because she could have easily killed him with the upper hand she had during that match.

Noiz was just sore. His body ached harshly, punishing him every time he tried to make even the slightest of movements. He couldn't remember the last time he passed out in an alleyway. Eventually he slid himself over enough so he could prop himself up against the wall of the building next to him. As he sat he started to recall previous low points of the last two months. He did remember passing out in an alleyway when he was attacked by Virus and Trip. There was no way he could forget waking up in his bed after being well aware that he had just fallen asleep in a dark, dirty alleyway. He remembered being all bandaged up and getting confused when he saw that all of his wounds had been treated and he was properly cleaned up. That was one of the last times he fell asleep in an alleyway. It used to be a habit of his, before he met Aoba. He would challenge people to Rhyme over and over until he was exhausted. Then, the only pain he felt was extremely dull outside of rhyme so the only reason why he slept in alley ways was because he was too tired to make it home. After he met Aoba is was different. Rhyme was different. Noiz knows that he isn't as good as he used to be. The one thing he thought he was good at, he's a beginner now.

The sun had already set and the street lights shined their bright light onto the ground below. Very few people were out now, he must have caught this area on a slow evening. Usually this side of the island had many people walking up and down the sidewalks to eat at nearby restaurants or to do some evening shopping. For some reason no one really wanted to do anything. At this point, Noiz had forgotten what day it was, so he still wondered. He knew that it was probably a bad idea to sleep in an alleyway tonight. If Koujaku found out, he would get yelled at for being inconsiderate towards himself or something dumb. Koujaku only ever said dumb things. If Aoba found out, he would inevitably tell Koujaku since they are "dating" Aoba expected Koujaku to be his keeper or something of the sorts.

Noiz fell asleep anyway, knowing for sure that no one would be looking for him in the morning.

 


	8. What Are You So Afraid Of?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning in case you didn't notice the new tags.   
> some tw with some of the flashbacks

The air was cold. Tiny flakes of snow floated gently through the sky. Today had been the coldest the island has been in years. The wind blew fiercely, whipping around buildings. The morning was quiet. No one dared leave their homes on a day like this. Just yesterday, it was a nice enough day to wear a light jacket. The seemingly spontaneous temperature drop was enough to keep everyone off the streets.

Unless they were stupid enough to leave their house.

Noiz's eyes fluttered open, taking in the situation he was in. His body felt almost numb, his freezing hands were pressed up against the concrete of the sidewalk and back against the cold brick of the building behind him. Taking a deep breath, he watched the smoke-like cloud form in front of his face and disappear. His head aches and his muscles were more than sore, but he knew that he had to get inside. He started to move, feeling the pain surge through his body. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been but the dull pain was still there.

Reluctantly, Noiz stood and began his journey home. At some point during his trip outside, he had forgotten where exactly he had gone. As he walked, he found himself close by Koujaku's shop. Unsurprisingly, it was closed for today. Though Noiz expected that Koujaku would take a day like this off, he wondered what he decided to do with his day. 'He's probably sitting in his house jacking off all day' Noiz thought to himself. He laughed at his own thoughts and was glad no one was around to see that. The walk home was shorter than he expected despite being a little lost. He trudged up the stairs towards his apartment building.

Once Noiz was home, he stripped off his clothing from the night before and threw on a black long sleeve shirt and green flannel pants. He never really understood what people thought were "cozy" clothes until recently. Before meeting Aoba, he always u wore the same things. He wore jeans all the time, sleeping too. Noiz remembered just grabbing what he could before running away from his parents' house, not really bringing comfort or style into the equation.

Not even when he was with Aoba did he really focus on his outfits. He went out shopping and bought what he already had but newer. Once he left the hospital, he felt uncomfortable in all of his clothes. Something about shopping for different types of clothing made Noiz feel more human. Not like he was a robot, but still he sometimes felt like one.

He lay on the couch and held up the remote to turn the television on. A show was on that he didn't care about so he began to flip through channels rapidly, only leaving enough time to glance at a show title before he flipped again. Channel after channel, nothing looked interesting enough to watch. After two full rotations on all the channels, Noiz decided to watch the news.

The story they were covering now was about the weather. There was a guy bundled up in a large purple coat, clutching his microphone close to him. He started saying something about a record temperature and possible hail or something like that. Noiz didn't really pay attention.

Memories of last night started to flood his mind instead. He remembered Calamity and how badly he played in that Rhyme match. He was actually grateful that she went easy on him. From what he knew about her, she is known for sending more than a handful of people to the hospital from Rhyme matches. A piece of him actually didn't want to die. That piece of him scared Noiz. He was never used to thinking like that.

Noiz remembered his date with Koujaku. The thought of that being an actual date disgusted Noiz. He didn't want to go on a real date with Koujaku. That would be a new low. He remembered how sincere he looked when he offered to reach him how to swim, how terrified he looked when Koujaku dragged Noiz out of the water. He remembered how angry he was for telling that lifeguard that he was his grandpa.

Everything was falling into place. Noiz realized that the only reason Koujaku took him out yesterday was because he was actually in love with him. Shit. Koujaku couldn't be in love with Noiz. Noiz surely hoped his brain was wrong for once.

Why else would Koujaku want to spend so much time with him? Noiz knew things like this happened in movies where people try and be casual or friends with benefits and one or both of the people fall in love with the other. But that's just movies, Noiz thought. There's no way Koujaku would fall for something cliche enough to be in a romantic comedy.

The thought of Koujaku trying to kiss him started to freak him out. He would have been okay with kisses if it was during foreplay but the thought of waking up next to Koujaku sitting there, whispering 'good morning, babe' and kissing him made him panic. He didn't want Koujaku to love him. What was the point of hating someone if they were just going to love you?

Noiz quickly pulled out his phone and dialed Koujaku's number. It rang. And rang. Voicemail.

Instead of leaving a voicemail, he called once more.

"What?"

"Old man."

"What do you want!?" His tone sounded irritated and preoccupied. In some other circumstance, Noiz would have jokes about him actually jacking off all day like he originally thought.

"Come over." He breathed, sounding calm and not at all worried.

"Why?" His reply comes almost immediately.

"Surprise."

"Be right over." Koujaku said with a sigh before the line went dead.

The minutes passed slowly as Noiz awaited that knock on the door. He sat down on the couch and bounced his knee impatiently as he waited. The knock, however, did not come.

Instead, the door opened up and Koujaku let himself inside. Figures he kept the key. Noiz didn't look up when he walked in. Koujaku cleared his throat, snapping Noiz back into reality.

Koujaku was dressed a lot more casual than he usually was but it was better than Noiz's "sleepwear." The two sat together on the couch.

"What did you want, brat?"

"Not you." He started, looking over at the Old Man.

"Didn't you just invite me over here!?"

"Yes."

"Just tell me what you wanted to tell me do more than just you can understand." He growled, sounding more irritated than before.

"I don't want to do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"You." A small smirk spread across Noiz's face as he said this. Their conversation called for more serious matters but there was no waa Noiz was going to pass up that golden opportunity. He noticed Koujaku's face was beginning to get red as well.

"What do you mean me?"

"Old man, I can't keep pretending to date you." Ouch. Koujaku stiffened, thinking that he's backing out for a certain reason he isn't going to tell him about. He knew well enough that asking him why wouldn't lead to any answers at all, just more games.

"Why not?" He asked anyway. Noiz just shook his head and moved to his hands up to his head. Koujaku sat there, imagining something crazy like, what if Noiz is backing out because he is actually in love with him? Noiz opened his mouth to finally answer and Koujaku half expected some long-winded love confession.

"I can't stand you." Was what came out of his mouth instead. Double ouch.

"I can't stand you either." Koujaku snapped. He immediately regretted saying it back, not wanting to start having to throw punches.

"Alright, so leave."

And with that, Koujaku left.

* * *

 

Koujaku could not believe what had just occurred. Noiz just fake broke up with him out of nowhere. As much as he wanted to be extremely delighted that such things happened, he couldn’t help but feel annoyed. What did he do that made Noiz want to break up with him so quickly? What happened last night once Koujaku left?

Not knowing the answers frustrated him greatly. Koujaku stormed down the sidewalk, looking like he was literally searching for answers. The chilly winter wind sped up, forcing him to find shelter. He realized that he mindlessly walked the route to Aoba’s house.

The door to the veranda was open on the top floor, telling Koujaku that Aoba was not at work today either.

He stood in front of the door, staring uncertainly ahead of himself. He questioned whether or not he should tell Aoba anything yet seeing as he has little information to necessarily give to him. Koujaku turned to leave, walking off without another look back.

“Oi, Koujaku?” He heard a voice call from above. Aoba stood on the veranda.

“Hello, Aoba.” his words sounded anything but cheerful, maybe even bitter. His best friend quickly picked up on his tone of voice and began to look worried.

“Where are you going?”

“Home.” Koujaku turned again to leave, but Aoba was persistent.

“Something wrong?”

“Maybe.”

“Want to come inside?”

“Sure.” Koujaku almost regretted answering Aoba with one word answers but if Noiz could do it, then so could he. He moved to the door which was left unlocked as it usually does unless no one is home. Aoba, however, did not come to the door. Instead he waited for Koujaku to come inside and find him himself.

He sat down on his best friend’s bed next to him, sighing and staring at the ground rather than at Aoba. It was quiet for a while. Aoba could see that Koujaku was upset about something and did not want to pry right away. The silence was eating away at Aoba’s patience but he forced himself not to speak until Koujaku looked like he was ready to speak as well.

Koujaku’s gaze was fixed on the old, broken computer in the corner of the room. The screen was cracked and keys were missing from the keyboard in front of the monitor. The computer reminded him of Noiz. He was unsure why this bothered him so much but he couldn’t shake this feeling of loss.

It was only when he heard Aoba clear his throat he focused back on his blue-haired friend. Worry was written across his face as he followed Koujaku’s stare towards the corner of the room.

“Ready to talk?” The question confused Koujaku. Did he really stare for that long? He did not want to flat out tell him, it didn’t feel right. There was no way he was going to keep Aoba in the dark. Koujaku nodded, searching for the right words to say. “Is it Noiz?” Instead of speaking, Koujaku chose to nod once more, his face fell, looking more distraught than he already looked. He heard Aoba gasp.

“We broke up.” was all he got out before he felt arms wrap around him tighter than how any girl from the shop had hugged him. Aoba mumbled something into his neck, but he had no idea what his friend had said. When Aoba pulled away, he looked at Koujaku with sympathy.

“I’m sorry, Koujaku.”

“Why are you sorry?” Koujaku shrugged, feeling more confident and positive than he was moments ago.

“You two seemed really happy together.” He had to try not to laugh at that comment.

“He told me he couldn’t stand me.” He attempted to sound more depressed than he was. He was torn up about this “breakup” before he got here, but he seemed okay now that he got to tell somebody. It wasn’t even a real breakup.

“That’s not right, Koujaku.” Aoba looked down at the bed, almost unsure of what to say next, “I can talk to him if you want, you know?”

“No, you don’t have to.”

“I should. You seemed like you really liked him.” Aoba leaned closer to Koujaku.

“I’ll get over it eventually, Aoba.” Koujaku blushed. He nearly pulled back, Aoba was leaning closer with the same smile on his face like he knew something Koujaku didn’t.

* * *

 

He always liked cemeteries. They were normally quiet, giving him a nice place to think things over and to make big decisions in his life. He remembered the last time he was here. It was warmer back then. Now the snow started to slow down and the wind wasn’t asm much of a bother as earlier.

It was spring last time. He walked over to the willow tree and sat under it, staring at the tombstones surrounding him. He didn’t have a clue who any of them were but they peaked his interest anyway. The one closest to the tree always had exactly 14 roses on top of it. 11 of them were always yellow and the other three were always white. He wondered what the significance was but he never caught the person who put them there to ask them. The name on the stone was simply, ‘Karina’ There was no last name, there was no date, or even an epitaph. It was just the name with two roses carved into the stone.

The one next to it was much different. It was a large stone with two names on it. The last names were the same and the inscription read, “Weep not for the dead but for the living”

Noiz always contemplated about that quote, it stuck with him somehow. He originally thought it was just some silly thing that is probably written on thousands of the tombstones in this cemetery.

He always wondered what his tombstone would look like. No one knew when he was born. No one knew his real name. No one cared enough to replenish the roses that sat in front of it. No one cared enough to think of something clever or meaningful enough to write on it.

Noiz wondered if he would even have a tombstone. He couldn’t imagine someone wasting their time and money to bury him. He felt like his carelessness would lead him to this cemetery in the near future but he didn’t mind. Sometimes he even provoked and welcomed it. He couldn’t count how many near death experiences he had been in but he still made it out somehow.

Failed attempts after failed attempt. Noiz would initiate fights with people who were much stronger than him in numbers or size. He would leave wounds untended and still managed to not bleed out somehow. He couldn’t even sacrifice himself for Aoba.

Memories from earlier in his life started to flood his mind.

 

_It was a miracle his tears didn’t make a puddle on the floor. It felt as if he had been crying for weeks. His brother was back again. The knocks on his door were persistent._

_“Brother, won’t you come out?” Theo called from the other side of the door. The locks are what killed him. There were four different ones near the top of the door, out of his reach. He couldn’t open the door even a crack. What did his brother look like now? He sounded older._

_“G-g…..go away.” He called back quietly. As much as he wanted his brother to talk to him, he couldn’t keep doing this. The sound of his brother’s voice tortured him._

_His voice was filled with so much enthusiasm, so much hope. Theo didn’t understand and Noiz had a feeling that he never would. No one would understand._

_Noiz knew how it felt to hear the world go on without him on the other side of the door. Mere inches away from him was a nice home that welcomed people kindly. Mere inches away was a person who cared about him but he was never going to see him again._

_No one knew loneliness until they were in Noiz’s shoes. Of course he knew people were lonely nonetheless but he almost felt that they had no right to feel that way. How do you feel lonely when there are people everywhere?_

_He was thirteen. His clothes started to get too small for him to wear but he was almost too scared to ask for new ones. When he was fed for the day, he mentioned it without thinking._

_A few days later he was greeted with a few new articles of clothing. They were his brothers. Apparently he grew a lot faster than Noiz did. The clothes still smelled like his brother._

_It was a miracle he remembered that scent. He hadn’t seen his brother since he was five. The smell only made him miss his brother more._

_That night as he lay in bed, he felt the tears well up in the corners of his eyes as he breathed in his brother’s scent._

_As he finally drifted off to sleep, he started to dream. He dreamt he was dead and when he was, he returned to Earth as some sort of guardian angel for his brother. He watched him grow up and nothing ever hurt him._

_Noiz woke up knowing that he couldn’t live like this anymore. The confinement was killing him. He was killing him._

_The night after the dream he acted on his thoughts. When he started, it became a blur. Before he knew it, it had gone too far._

_He was sitting at the foot of his bed, covered in his own blood. His pale, tear-stained face was concentrated on the white sheets he was sitting on. The droplet of blood fell from his hands and landed on the white. The sheets soaked up the blood and began turning red._

_He drove the knife across his skin once more, watching the blood beginning to seep from the cut. Noiz started to feel lightheaded. His body stung all over. Cut littered his body from his arms to his stomach to his legs. Two small cuts were even on his face._

_He was losing control, it was like he finally snapped. Nearly eight years of emotions he had bottled up were coming back at him._

_“Wilhelm!” He heard a screech from the doorway. His knife dropped the the floor and landed with a quiet thud on the carpet. He tried to look at his mother but the tears fogged his vision._

_“What did you do to the sheets!? I’ll have to get these dry cleaned!” That was the last thing he heard before he lost consciousness._

_When he awoke he was bandaged up in a hospital room. No one came to visit. No one left flowers or get well soon cards or balloons._

_When he got home, no one mentioned what he did and he continued life as he normally did._

_Alone._

That wasn’t the first time he tried. It was the only time he did at his house. Noiz never tried something like that again until he was alone. He figured that once he was alone no one could stop him.

The third day he was away from home, he tried something simple. He noticed that there was only one busy street on the island. People usually walked through the smaller parts of town. Noiz took a step off the sidewalk and began walking.

Cars screeched to a halt as he walked, not one of them wanting to hit the man crossing the middle of the busy street. He heard screams and yells from the drivers, cursing at him for not using a crosswalk. Surprisingly he made it to the sidewalk on the opposite end of the street. He was frustrated at the cars for stopping and at himself for believing that this would be an effective idea.

11 times he tried. 11 times he failed. Noiz kicked at the dirt below his feet. He never imagined going through what he was going through. Noiz was doing things a normal human did. it felt weird. Though it was fake, he was in a relationship. People like him don’t do relationships. They don’t do anything with other people.

He cared about people. Noiz never cared about anyone but his brother before. Then he met Aoba. He fell in love. He never imagined he was capable of falling in love. If it weren’t for his brother, Noiz would have believed that he didn’t have the ability to love.

His emotions were normally overlooked by everyone so he didn’t show any. If people insulted him on the street, he wouldn’t show anger or sadness. If people flirted with him, he retaliated with cold remarks to make them go away.

He put up walls. Anyone would if they were penned up in physical walls their entire life. His walls weren’t easy to break down either. He didn’t want anyone to. Emotions were seen as a weakness to him and he couldn’t be weak. Not anymore.

Aoba broke him. Those walls. That dark room. Those chains. Aoba broke them all. Noiz didn’t even think he wanted anyone to even try. He wanted to remain inside the confines of his tiny little room because he didn’t want anyone to get close enough to him. He didn’t want someone to mean something to him.

Aoba meant something to him. Noiz missed the time he spent with Aoba. When Noiz was in the hospital after the fall of the Oval Tower, he could not stop thinking about Aoba. He thought about what he would do when he left the hospital and he thought of spending time with Aoba. He thought about living with Aoba. He thought about marrying Aoba. He thought about bringing Aoba to Germany to meet his brother, Theo.

Those thoughts were all taken from him when he chose Mizuki. It wasn’t sudden, it took time, but Noiz got over Aoba.

Noiz looked down at the faded grass spot he had made with his foot through the snow. His mind had been wandering for what seemed like hours yet it was still daylight. The temperature was starting to drop, making Noiz shiver.

Back in reality, the cemetery was still empty. He figured no one would come here on a day like this. He walked along the rows of headstones with nothing but the sound of crunching snow beneath him.

He wondered why he started thinking about Aoba like that. He didn’t like Aoba like that anymore. Why was he remembering it?

Noiz knew his memories popped into his mind for a reason just like dreams do. He just didn’t know why. He knew why he remembered all the times he tried to kill himself. It’s because he still wanted to.

His life was starting to go bad again. He lost connection with everyone he associated with. Noiz figured Koujaku told Aoba about their breakup and they both hate him even more now. He doesn’t talk to Mizuki unless he has to. Virus and Trip should be avoided at all costs.

There was no one.

It was different now. He could feel things he never really did. Noiz knew that if he did the same thing he tried to do when he was thirteen, it would hurt a hell of a lot more than it did the first time. The times he provoked a group of thugs to beat him to unconsciousness would hurt a lot more than it used to. He knew the pain would be much greater than it was the other eleven times but he still wanted to.

Without Koujaku hanging over him, he was free to do what he wanted. Without Clear to find him and bandage him up, he was free to do what he wanted.

He could die however he wanted. It would be as painless as possible if he wanted. But unsurprisingly enough, he didn’t want that. He had to make up for the all the pain he should have suffered during those 11 attempts.

Noiz looked back at the tombstone with the colored roses on it and wondered again. The snow began to crunch again, but Noiz was not moving. As he turned, he noticed a young man approach the roses. He took the roses away and replaced them with new ones. 11 yellow and three white.

“What are those for?” Noiz spoke as he walked closer to the man. He looked up, looking startled.

“For my daughter.” He looked at her name and shook his head sadly.

“Why the roses?”

“She loved roses,” he sniffed, ‘Every time I got roses for my wife, I would get her one yellow rose and she would smile for hours.” the man smiled thinking about his daughter. “She was battling a heart disease for three years and every day I would bring her a white rose instead of the yellow ones. I don’t know why but i did and I’ve never stopped.”

Noiz nodded and began to walk away. He couldn’t help but feel an extreme amount of jealousy. Of a dead girl. A dead 14 year old. He was jealous that her dad cared so much about her that he continued to give her roses even after she passed. His parents didn’t even give him new clothes unless they were his brother’s first.

He rubbed his eyes, forcing the feelings back inside so no one can see. Noiz felt like crying. He couldn’t remember the last time he cried and he didn’t want the time to be now. He stormed out of the cemetery and walked quickly down the sidewalk. He felt the tears coming and tried to fight them as much as he could. The wind picked up and hail began to fall once the sun had started to set.

His apartment was cold. The floor felt like ice when he kicked off his shoes. It didn’t really matter at this point. For the first time in years, he started to cry.

He didn’t know what triggered the tears. He didn’t know if it was losing contact with anyone who would ever want to speak to him. He didn’t know if it was remembering all the times he tried to kill himself and wanting to try again. He didn’t know if it was the jealousy he felt from that man’s story.

Nothing liked that story ever phased him before, so it probably wasn’t that. He hated Koujaku and had done without Aoba before, so that probably wasn’t it. He hasn’t thought much about the darkest parts of his past before but that couldn’t possibly be it.

Noiz had tried to kill himself eleven times before and it didn’t bother him that he was going to die. Did he not want to die?

Usually Noiz never cared what happened to him and if he died, no one would care and nothing would change. Yet here he was now, crying because he realized that he seriously thought about doing it again. Just the other day when he was in the water, he didn’t care if he drowned.

He was scared to die. For the first time in his life, he was scared to die. He sure as hell want to die, but he was too scared to try again. What was he so scared of this time?

All of the fights he was in. The times he purposely lost a Rhyme match. All of those untended wounds. All his scars. He always done bad things without a second thought. He didn’t care.

His tears slowly rolled down his face and his breathing  hastened. His fingers trembled when he brought them to his face to wipe away a tear. Noiz watched a tear roll off his face and hit the hardwood floor. He knew exactly why he was scared of his thoughts.

He was afraid that if he tried again, he would actually succeed.

* * *

 

Koujaku froze.

Aoba’s face was inches away from his and he started to panic. As beautiful as his best friend looked, he knew he had to keep himself from kissing him. He knew it would be a bad idea to do so. Aoba looked at him with that same look and it killed him. Koujaku was trying his hardest to control himself and to not start sweating but Aoba started to close his eyes and pressed his forehead against Koujaku’s. He felt Aoba’s warm breath on his face and he knew he had to get out of there quickly.

Before he was able to move, he felt Aoba’s lips against his own. A few moments passed before Koujaku found himself kissing back. He felt arms wrap around the back of his neck, deepening the kiss.

Koujaku mindlessly wrapped his arms around Aoba’s waist. He licked Aoba’s bottom lip and he groaned.

Suddenly, Aoba pulled away, eyes wide. Koujaku opened his eyes and watched the blue-haired man leap off the bed like he saw a spider on the pillow. His face was bright red and he would not make eye contact with Koujaku.

“Y-you should probably go.”

“Aoba, what’s wrong?”

“Leave.” A tear fell from one of his eyes when he looked up at Koujaku. “Please.” the last part sounded strained and broken. He got up from the bed quickly and walked out the front door. He walked quickly before the hail started. It was getting colder as the day went on and it wouldn’t be too good to get stuck outside without a jacket. There was no way Aoba would let him stay there.

He was still confused why Aoba seemed so skittish after their kiss. He knew that they shouldn’t have kissed but his reaction seemed a little extreme. Maybe he didn’t want to ruin their friendship or something. It still seemed like a bit much. Aoba probably didn’t mean to kiss him. He just got caught up in the moment and felt bad for Koujaku.

He was almost home and the hail started to fall. Shit. Koujaku started walking faster, cursing himself for not wearing more snow-friendly shoes out of the house.  Once he got in the front door, he finally realized why Aoba was so upset.

Mizuki.

 

 


	9. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the pieces either fall apart or come together. Either way, someone has to suffer the consequences.

11 Times.

He tried 11 times.

Aoba wouldn't pick up his phone.

He really messed up. Why didn't he pull away from him? Koujaku was weak, that's why. He wasn't thinking and allowed Aoba to kiss him. What will Mizuki think when he finds out?

Koujaku sighed, resting his head in his hands. He could possibly lose two friends. Mizuki has to forgive Aoba. It wasn't like they slept together or Aoba confessed his feelings towards Koujaku or something crazy like that. It was one kiss.

He dialed Aoba's number for the twelfth time. No answer. He should go over there to talk to him. Koujaku knew that he was hurting right now. He knew that Aoba loved Mizuki and he shouldn't try to get in the way of that.

Fake dating Noiz was stupid. Aoba was never going to fall for him. He just had to get over it and move on. It wouldn't be hard to move on, Koujaku thought. There were plenty of girls who would want him. But it wasn't like he wanted any of them.

Instead he chose to wallow in the loss of everyone he held dear. If Aoba and Mizuki broke up, he wouldn't be able to look either of them in the eye knowing that he was the reason why they lost what was special to them. Noiz couldn't stand him. He only had himself and his shop. Sure, being social wasn't going to be an issue. But talking to someone he sincerely cared about was never going to happen again. He had to make this right.

When he got outside, he noticed that it had stopped hailing. A small path on the sidewalk was shoveled out to walk and the streets were cleared by now. It was 2PM. Koujaku knew the route to the Junk Shop by heart. He started in the direction he needed to go and started walking.

He walked passed the cemetery on his way to the shop and noticed a man sitting under the willow tree. It was weird to see a man sitting in a little more than two inches is snow. He was blonde and wore all black like he was mourning. It was weird because he wasn't very close to any of the tombstones. Koujaku couldn't see the man's face, only the back of his head.

He shrugged and kept walking. The shop was just at the end of the road. The glowing "open" sign was in the window.

"Koujaku-san!?" A voice called from above. He looked up and saw nobody. There weren't even any verandas someone could have been up on and quickly rushed inside. The voice sounded familiar, almost robotic. He turned to take another step closer when he head a loud crash behind him.

When Koujaku turned around he saw a man face first in the concrete sidewalk. Clear.

"Oi, Clear." He offered him a hand to stand up. It confused him how he could basically fall from the sky and be okay. Maybe he was a robot. "What are you doing?"

Clear stood and dusted the snow off his jacket before looking at Koujaku with a smile. Well he couldn't see the smile, but he was smiling nonetheless.

"I heard Master, so I came."

"M-master?"

"Yes."

"Where?"

"In there" Clear brought up his hand and pointed a finger towards the Junk Shop. Koujaku furrowed his eyebrows and stared at Clear. He was always strange, but something about now seemed stranger.

Instead of responding, he chose to walk straight into the shop, ignoring Clear calling out to him frantically. The shop looked as it always did. The blue haired man at the desk was turned around, talking to a customer on the phone. The bell rang when he opened the door but he didn't turn around.

"Have a nice day!" Aoba sang before hanging up the phone with a sigh. He looked up and saw Koujaku. His eyes were wide as he stared at the man. His mouth hung open but he was at a complete loss for words.

"Aoba." Koujaku started, "I have to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk about it." Aoba sounded afraid. He seemed paranoid. His fingers fidgeted in his lap and he avoided eye contact with his best friend.

"We have to talk about it. You're overreacting." He growled.

"I'm overreacting!? Koujaku I'm not overreacting." He stood, leaning over to counter and now watching Koujaku with anger in his eyes. "I made a mistake. No, I'm not mad that you didn't stop me. It was my fault."

"We should tell him." Koujaku spoke, looking defeated.

"I....I don't think I can do that"

"We can't keep a secret, Aoba. He'll understand. He's our friend."

"He's been nothing but good to me, I can't tell him that I betrayed his trust, even if I didn't really mean to."

"Oi. Aoba. You need to tell him. I'll come with you if you need to. Keeping secrets isn't a good way to build trust."

Now it was Aoba who looked defeated. He slumped back down into his chair behind the desk and sighed.

"You're right."

Koujaku stood in the shop, unsure of how to respond. The door burst open and three small children piled in. Not again. They were all giggling and pushing each other, causing Aoba to call out to them to get them to be careful. Those children looked familiar. He remembered seeing them in the water park yesterday.

Those kids pushed Noiz into the water. Those children were the devil. Koujaku hates those kids. He had seen them occasionally from afar running up and down sidewalks on this side of town. A small light bulb looking item was in the edge of a shelf that the children were climbing towards.

One stood atop the other's shoulders to get it while the third one watched the two boys wobble towards the shelf.

"Hey!! Stop that!" Aoba growled. The bulb fell from the shelf and the two children toppled the the floor. The girl screeched and pulled her brothers out of the shop before they were forced to clean up the broken glass.

"Those rotten kids."

"Now I understand why Noiz called you Old Man." Aoba laughed. Koujaku visibly cringes at the sound of Noiz's name. "Sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned him."

"It's alright."

It was quiet for a while as Aoba cleaned up the small pile of glass the three children had created. He got up from the floor and tossed the broken pieces into the trash can. Sure, the shop had a robot that normally cleaned, he didn't want to leave a pile of glass on the floor for too long. As Aoba stood, he looked at his friend with curiosity.

"Did you trust him?"

"What?"

"Noiz."

"Oh." Koujaku blinked, thinking about the question. Did he trust Noiz?

"Did you?"

"No."

"Oh." Aoba shifted on his feet, feeling awkward about the answer. He sort of expected him to say no but somehow it still shocked him to hear it. "You loved him."

"What!?" Koujaku jumped back, cheeks turning redder than his kimono. "I am not in love with him."

"Why did you date him then?"

"I don't know." That was a lie. There was no way he could tell Aoba the truth now. He would hate him for sure. But he would sound like a hypocrite for preaching about the goodness of the truth and trust and then lying straight to his face.

"Come on, there had to be a reason." Aoba smiled again, "Did you do it to make me jealous or something?" Koujaku froze.

"I mean it started out that way" he mumbled

"Seriously!?" Aoba didn't look angry. He looked amused. "You dated Noiz to make me jealous? Did he know that?" The second question sounded a little bitter. He remembered talking about using Noiz with Aoba in the bathroom.

"N-no... It was his idea." Koujaku felt the heat in his cheeks, "Then we went to dinner and then-"

"Did you actually sleep with him?"

"Yes. That's when we chose to do that instead of try to win you over."

Aoba raised his eyebrow at that remark. He knew that he should be angry and Koujaku for going out with a guy just to make him jealous but something about the gesture seemed funny. Maybe it was because he ended up falling for Noiz in the end. Though he denied it, he knew it was true. Just like a scene from a shitty romance movie.

"Then what about the breakup?"

"What I told you was true."

"Oh."

* * *

 

The weather called for more snow. The brutality of winter had just begun. The man on the news was talking about the snowfall they were going to get and for everyone to prepare their shovels because they were in for it. The news began talking about some other breaking news story that did not interest Noiz in the slightest.

He had slept on the couch last night. He cried until he fell asleep. When he awoke, the small pillow he had slept on was still damp and he was uncomfortably laying in the clothes he wore to the cemetery yesterday.

He stood slowly and made his way to his closet where he chose to wear a long sleeved black shirt and black jeans. Lately that's all he's been wearing. He wasn't motivated enough to slip on those boots or to tie his tie or to button up his shirt. He just didn't want to do anything.

It was nearly two PM and he walked himself to the cemetery again. He sat under the willow tree for less than a half hour and then walked aimlessly down the street. He didn't know where he wanted to go. He just knew that being alone wasn't what he needed to be right now.

"Noiz-san, funny seeing you here." A cheerful, sing-song voice called out to him. He turned around, a little disappointed to see only one member of the infamous duo.

"Virus."

"Where do you think you're going?" The blonde walked closer to Noiz. Too close.

"Somewhere."

"You love one word answers don't you?" The smile never left his face. He didn't know why he always has that stupid smiled on that face of his. It was so unnerving. It looked diabolical.

"Yes." He did it again on purpose.

"Noiz-san, won't you walk with me?"

"Not a chance."

"You always look so sad. You always wear the same thing. I'll buy you something nice." Virus pulled on Noiz's sleeve.

"I can afford whatever I want." He spat.

"Then why don't you look like it?" His words were covered with pity. But why?

"I don't want to."

Virus put his hand on his chin to look like he was thinking hard. He smirked and held his finger in the air.

"I'll buy something for you, Noiz-san. It'll be a date."

Noiz gave him a confused stare. This man was absolutely out of his mind. Just a few weeks ago, he beat him nearly to death and now he wanted to buy him clothes on a date? Absolutely crazy.

He didn't know why he didn't just walk away. He stood there. He thought about it.

"Where's Trip?"

"He's running errands for me. I have freedom for a few hours." He smiled again.

"Ok."

"You'll come?"

"Ok."

"That's great!"

They walked together and Virus reached for Noiz’s hand to hold. He pulled away, shooting a disgusted look in the blonde’s direction. He didn’t understand this man. He seemed awfully friendly for someone who could beat you close to death and laugh about it. Were they the same person? Noiz thought. Maybe they actually did have twins but those were evil and they were the nice ones. He shook his head, disregarding that theory for it was much too dumb to even believe that could be true. There was a small shop on the end of the road that Virus insisted on going in to. There were expensive suits and formal attire in the windows. Noiz could have easily bought everything in the store but he decided to humor Virus instead and let him buy him something.

They didn't spend a lot of time shopping. Virus bought Noiz a new suit and a few "secret items." He was very secretive about the shopping bag he was holding but Noiz figured he shouldn't press the matter. Once they left the mall, he felt himself getting pulled into a car.

It was black with tinted windows and a small Morphine logo on the door. Noiz never knew that's who Virus worked for. He wasn't surprised he was part of a team that did bad things. He just never expected him to be part of such a infamous team like Morphine.

Without question he sat in the car and watched Virus walk casually around the front to get to the driver's side. He knew this was weird. Virus was treating him to new clothes and now he's in his car. In the car, it didn't take long for Noiz to put two and two together. Virus wanted to sleep with Noiz.

"You're trying to sleep with me are you?"

"Depends."

"On?"

"Am I succeeding?"

"Absolutely."

* * *

 

The house was close to his own. He walked slowly, however. Once he got to his destination he knew there wouldn’t be any going back. That’s what he was afraid of. He messed up. Why did he agree to this? He really had no one to blame but himself. It was his fault he was in this situation, he made the initial mistake and now he had to make it right.

The house was in view now. The situation he had agreed to had gotten much more real than how he played it out in his head. Everything swept through his mind at once. Possible outcomes of this situation, previous mistakes he made, the stories he heard of other people in the same situation. Everything flooded his thoughts.

He started to panic when he heard footsteps coming to the door. He didn’t even realize he knocked until the door opened up.

“Aoba?” Mizuki looked pleasantly surprised by his visit. If only he knew what he did. Aoba forced a smiled and stepped inside before he was invited. Mizuki was walking now. It was an amazing recovery that not even the doctors expected. It was like that little accident never even happened.

“Hey.” Aoba spoke, sounding like he wanted to say more but held himself back. Mizuki caught on right away and his smile faded.

“What’s wrong?”

“I….um..Can we sit down?” He let out a shaky breath and followed his boyfriend to the living room. He hadn’t spent time with Mizuki in a while. Around work schedules and Mizuki’s doctor appointments, they barely ever saw each other. Aoba knew that didn’t excuse what he did. It was just a kiss, but Koujaku was their friend.

Mizuki took a seat next to Aoba, looking more concerned once he saw tears starting to well up in his boyfriend’s eyes. He was shaking slightly, but not enough for Mizuki to notice.

“Aoba, what happened?”

“I made a mistake” he spoke dryly.

“What do you mean?”

“I kissed Koujaku.” Only silence followed. Mizuki stared at the ground. It wasn’t just a kiss to him. His friend and his boyfriend both betrayed the trust he put in them. Sure, it would have hurt more if they did more than just kiss but it still hurt. Aoba hurt him. He didn’t know how to respond to him. “Say something. Please.” Aoba was crying. But he couldn’t say anything.

Mizuki put up with a lot of things in the past. He remembered befriending Aoba and starting to get closer and closer to him. He even believed he liked him as more than a friend. Koujaku came back. Wherever he had been, it didn’t matter, he was back now. He wasn’t given as much attention as he used to and he hated it.

Koujaku was a nice guy, Mizuki would give him that. Aoba just clicked with Koujaku. They were childhood friends. Mizuki did know Aoba for quite some time but nothing could combat the relationship Koujaku and Aoba had. That wasn’t enough. A scrappy teenager walked into his life next. He was sure that Aoba hated that kid when he first met him but they fell in love somehow. Whatever happened while he was in the hospital was important to them.

Then he won. Aoba came to visit him one day in the hospital and kept coming. Day after day, they would spend hours together. Mizuki was starting to think that Aoba really did feel the same way about him as he felt about Aoba.

This kiss, it was more than just a kiss to him. It brought him back to square one. Mizuki wasn’t sure if he ever liked him the way he said he did.

“I think I need to be alone for a while.” was all Mizuki could manage to get out before he began to fight back tears.

“Mizuki….I-”

“I need to be alone, Aoba.” His voice was stern despite all the emotions he wanted to let out of his body. Without another word, Aoba got up and headed for the door. Before he walked out, he turned back to Mizuki and opened his mouth to say something. “No. I’ll find you when I’m ready.”

Aoba merely nodded and walked out of the door, hearing Mizuki slam it behind him.

* * *

 

He felt disgusting.

Virus really was a messed up person. He probably knew it, himself. Noiz shook his head as he walked out of Virus’ apartment. He knew he had to get out of sight quickly because Trip was going to be home soon. He had no idea if they were actually dating or if Trip was just really possesive of Virus. He just didn't want to get caught coming out of the house by him. No one had to know he slept with Virus.

Somehow he stooped lower. Someone was lower than Koujaku. Noiz thought that he couldn't do any worse than him. He was so wrong. He now understood why people in television shows would say they had to take multiple showers to wash off their shame. This was truly his walk of shame.

Noiz wondered why he even did it in the first place. He just thought that there was no way his life could get worse if he did and it would kill time. His life didn't get any worse, he was right about that, but it didn't get any better either.

He had to counterbalance this low with a high somehow. With a smirk, Noiz turned in the opposite direction of his apartment, knowing exactly what to do. The sun was beginning to set and the sky was filled with pinks, oranges, purples, and yellows. It really was beautiful. Noiz couldn’t say that he had paid much mind to the colors of the sky lately. Nights he spent alone, sometimes he would sit on the rooftop of his apartment building or wherever he was when the sun started to set and just look up at the sky. It was calming. He wasn’t the type of person to admit that something as simple and cliche of a thing calmed him.

When he was little, he never watched the sunset. He only recalled a tiny window close to the ceiling to let in light and fresh air occasionally. He was much too short to reach for a majority of his stay and he never believed he would be able to fit out of it. If he couldn’t, he wouldn’t be here now. He would still be holed up in that tiny room.

Usagimodoki leaped from his pocket, chirping happily as it followed him towards alleyway. He was pretty far from home at this point, but it didn’t matter. He was aiming to win tonight. His last Rhyme match was disappointing. She barely had to lift a finger to defeat him. That wasn’t acceptable tonight. He wasn’t just going for the feeling this time. He was here to win.

With a quick nod, his Allmate jumped into the air, initiating a drive-by. The field quickly engulfed him. He was wearing his rabbit head and doctor’s coat, surrounded by large Usagimodokis and rabbit’s hanging from nooses. It took a moment before someone was dragged in, but he was ready to begin.

Across the field, a man appeared. He looked confused and scared just like most drive-by victims. His Allmate was a siamese cat. In Rhyme, it took the form of a tall, lean woman with glowing blue eyes and a short, chocolate brown pixie cut. From the looks of it, he was not a typical Rhyme player. The Allmate wore all black and didn’t look nearly as scared as the man did.

“Go.” He ordered. His Allmate repeated the order and the rabbits were set to destroy. They leapt through the air, charging towards the man. In a sheer panic, he called out to his Allmate. She reacted quickly, like cats would normally do. The Allmate deflected the attack of the rabbits, sending them hurdling back towards Noiz.

He tumbled out of the way just in time and watched them all crash in a heap on the ground where he once stood. All the confidence he had built up going into this match dissipated and he was worried. The man’s distraught look turned into something much more cynical. This guy wasn’t going to give in easily.

“Charge.” He spoke, not wanting to give the man the idea that he was unsure of the outcome. His Allmate repeated him again and they charged towards the cat this time. The man’s Rhyme name was Silent Fox. It was odd seeing as neither the cat nor the man resembled a fox in any way.

His attack hit, Silent Fox’s Allmate did not anticipate being attacked from all sides and was only able to block a few. So she had a weak spot, huh.

Silent Fox screamed an order to his Allmate and she leaped into the air and disappeared.

Noiz gasped quietly. This was not a move he had seen before and could possibly be a move that only newer Allmate models could have. The cat reappeared behind Noiz, and scratched her long, cat-like claws across his back. She jumped up to attack for a second time but Noiz called out to his Allmate to protect him.

The army of rabbits tackled her like they were playing a football game. It held here down for a few moments until she shot out a beam of fire from her bright, blue eyes. His rabbits scattered to get away from the flames.

“Defense 60%!” Usagimodoki chanted, “Health 90%! Ready to go again?” Noiz nodded at his Allmate and ordered them to attack once more. He didn’t have a secret move or a special power that made him better than most Rhyme players. He just had the strength to withstand blows and to land strong attacks. He knew that Silent Fox could take down his defense quickly, so all he had to do was trick the cat so he could bypass his defenses and defeat him easily.

Without his defense, he would go down easily. Less rabbits got passed her this time, but his health was down to half.

“Nova. Engulf.” The man demanded. She nodded, surrounding herself in flames. Large balls of fire were hurled towards Noiz.

“Defend.” He spoke quickly, not wanting to delay any longer. His Allmate was too slow to protect him from the first one but the rest hit the makeshift shield they made. The first fireball brushed Noiz’s face, burning his left cheek. Before he could order another attack, Silent Fox already sent Nova back towards him, claws out to cut him. The attack was deflected and it was his turn to move.

“Stats.”

“Health 75% Defence 20%.” Usagimodoki replied meekly.

“And his?”

“Health 40% Defence 95%.”

“Tch.” he breathed, “Go again.” The rabbits charged, bypassing the defences as easily as they did before. Health, 10%. He could win this right now. “Again.”

The attack was deflected completely. Every rabbit was pushed away from the man. Nova was coming towards him again. Without even saying a word, his Allmate formed a wall in front of him. The flames hit them dead on, earning loud shrieks and screams from the rabbits.

“Alert! Alert! Defences are down! health going down 65%.......No, 50%.....45%....!!” Noiz grit his teeth as he await the flames to take him out completely but they started to retreat. The receding flames disappeared as fast as they appeared.

It was his turn now. This was his last move. Without defences, he could easily be taken down now. His Allmates were strong and it was surprising they were taken down so quickly. He ordered them to attack again. After the damage they went through, they moved much slower. Half of them landed their punches, knocking out Silent Fox.

The Rhyme field started to disappear and the faint sound of cheering rabbits filled his ears. Back in real life, it wasn’t as cheery. There wasn’t time to celebrate that win. He felt the sting of the burn on his face and the scratches across his back. His arms were a little burnt as well but the one on his face surely stung the most.

He was far away from home. He assumed that he would be able to walk home in a victorious triumph but instead he was slumped over in another dark alleyway. The only thing that was different is that he won. He didn’t fail just like he did way too many times before. Noiz was back.

This was the first Rhyme match he had won since the fall of the Oval Tower. This first win since he could feel. It was something he wasn’t sure he could do. He mercilessly attacked people in drive-bys, unable to understand how much pain they went through. The dull aches he occasionally got after playing multiple Rhyme matches in a row were close to nothing. He figured people were just weak.

Not wanting to sleep in another alleyway, Noiz stumbled to his feet and started walking. His body stung and ached. He didn’t know how deep the  scratches on his back were but weren’t as bad as the scratch he got from Welter. Noiz heard a quiet humming noise coming from the rooftops followed by footsteps. He turned around, expecting there to be no one. The dark sidewalks behind him were empty. No one was following him but he couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was.

Noiz was halfway home when he started to feel lightheaded. As he stood underneath the streetlamp, he notice tiny droplets of something was dripping off the edge of his shirt. The scratches weren’t bad enough to make him lose enough blood to feel lightheaded. It was the impact of a drive-by hat made his brain feel like it was swelling so large it was going to pop out of his skull.

His eyelids felt heavy and his body grew sluggish as he continued on. At some point he stopped completely, fighting consciousness until he finally passed out on the sidewalk in front of him.

* * *

 

“I can’t believe I haven’t had time to shovel yet.” Aoba grumbled. It was much too early for him to be awake but he had to shovel all this snow before work. It only snowed roughly two inches but it was still enough to annoy him. He hated snow. He always saw it as an inconvenience. He dug his shovel into the snow and dumped it off to the side so it was out of the way.

“You had a lot to do.” Koujaku replied. They spoke after Aoba left Mizuki’s yesterday. He cried but he didn’t blame Koujaku for the kiss or for pushing him to tell Mizuki about it. Koujaku felt differently about the situation. He felt very guilty about the whole thing. The two didn’t officially break up but they were surely headed that way. He felt awkward spending time with Aoba now.

Sure, he wanted to kiss him again. But he knew better than to kiss him unless he knew for sure that Aoba wanted him to. Aoba had asked him to help him shovel snow so he could make it to work on time.

“You’re right.” The fierce wind blew, causing Aoba to shrink his head down towards the collar of his jacket, “This should be good enough right?”

“If you say so, maybe we could-”

“Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!” Koujaku’s words were cut off by a loud scream. Before they knew it, there was a large puff of powdered snow flying up in the air like a kid jumped in a leaf pile. That was close enough except the leaves were a snow pile and and the child was not a child at all but Clear.

Clear popped up out of the snow. Koujaku winced, knowing there wasn’t enough snow to dive into without hitting the concrete. How did this guy fall from high places and not get hurt? Koujaku thought.

“Clear!?”

“Master!”

“What are you doing here?”

“It’s Noiz-san.” His voice sounded distressed but it could have also been because he just catapulted himself off the roof and into a four inch snow pile.

“What about Noiz?”

“He didn’t look too good, Master.” He pointed down the road, “He’s a few minutes away from his apartment.”

“So!?”Koujaku butt in.

“It was pretty silly how he slept face first on the sidewalk like that.” Clear giggled.

“He’s hurt?”

“I don’t know, Master. I’m sorry!’ He shrieked and grabbed onto Aoba’s jacket acting like he was crying. Maybe he was or maybe he wasn’t. No one could tell.

“We have to find him!” Aoba dropped his shovel, “Clear, lead the way!”

“Aye aye, Master!” He saluted and began to run.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps. this chapter and the last one, I probably have a shit ton of typos and I'll try my best to go through and fix them. I typed these two out pretty fast because I got real into writing this.


	10. The Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> plans are made, realizations are had

"Oi! Noiz!" Aoba called out to the body sprawled on the sidewalk. He didn't move at all, not even an inch. His face had a huge burn on his cheek that made Koujaku wince at the sight. It looked painful. His hands had swollen red spots on them, like they were burned. Koujaku stared questionably at the marks, wondering what he could have possibly been doing to get burned like that.

Aoba nudged his unconscious friend in the hopes he would wake up and explain. Noiz remained still. The winter chill had not been as harsh as it had been recently but he could only imagine how it felt to fall asleep outdoors. They had to get Noiz inside if he woke up or not.

“Help me take him home?” Aoba looked up at Koujaku. He shook his head, taking his mind back to reality and nodded towards his friend. The two of them carefully picked up Noiz and started towards his apartment. Sometime during their discovery, Clear had disappeared somewhere. It would have been easier to carry him with three people. It was not because he was heavy, it was because neither of them knew how injured he was and did not want to pick him up and grab something that was cut up or burned.

There were quite a few people out today. They walked down the sidewalk, shooting weird looks their way, probably wondering why these two guys were carrying a limp body down the street. Aoba and Koujaku tried their best not to make eye contact with anyone walking by because it was was too embarrassing. Maybe not so much embarrassing, more like awkward.

They finally got to the apartment building when Koujaku realized he didn’t have a key to the apartment anymore. He threw it out when they broke up because he didn’t need it anymore. The two of them stopped in front of the door, looking at each other awkwardly as to say, ‘What now?’

“Does he have a key?” Koujaku quickly asked to end the silence. Aoba reached into Noiz’s front pocket and pulled out a small key. The blue-haired man shrugged and put it in the lock. The door opened and they took Noiz inside. They lightly set his body down on the couch and looked at each other again.

“We should see what’s wrong.” Aoba decided and left the room in search of a first aid kit or something equally as effective. Koujaku only nodded once Aoba left the room but kept his eyes on Noiz. It was only know that he was able to visibly see the light rise and fall of his back, letting him know that Noiz was still breathing. He couldn’t say that he was all too certain he actually was alive when they found him. It was a relief to know that he was, even Koujaku could admit that.

Aoba returned, looking out of breath but was successful in finding a rather large first aid kit. Things were thrown back into it haphazardly, showing them that this kit had been used multiple times. Aoba didn’t want to think about those other times.

The burns were first, they were the first injury they were aware of. Koujaku started to tend to those while Aoba searched for any other wounds. There was a thin cut on the back on his neck and dried blood in parts of his hair. How? Aoba examined it , following the cut from the end of his hairline to underneath the fabric of his shirt. His fingers trembled as he moved his hands to the hem and pulled the back of Noiz’s shirt up to uncover the worst of it. His back was littered with scratches of all sorts. There were short ones that were only a few inches long. There were long ones that reached from one side of his back to the other. Some were deep and covered in dried blood. Others were light but still angry and red looking.

“W-what happened to him?” Aoba mindlessly spoke. Koujaku looked up from what he was doing and caught a glimpse of Noiz’s back. He couldn’t look. Koujaku tore his eyes away from the sight and focused on the burn Noiz had on his face. Aoba rubbed his eye and prepared to tend to his friend’s injuries. He wanted to know what happened. He wanted Noiz to wake up and tell him. He hated seeing his friend like this.

In a way he felt as if this was his fault. If he just stayed with Noiz, they wouldn’t be here right now. Maybe they would be in Germany or something crazy like that. They would be happy and not covered in cuts, burns, bruises and scars. Aoba finished wrapping up his wounds and found himself staring at Noiz. His eyes flickered towards his hands, all wrapped up because of his burns.

“I have to go.” Koujaku cleared his throat but Aoba didn’t look up. He was lost in his thoughts. He thought about all the times he spent with Noiz, making himself feel guiltier and guiltier by the second. “Aoba.” Koujaku spoke louder.

“What?” He mumbled, unable to tear his eyes away from Noiz.

“I have to go open up shop today.”

“Okay.”

“Are you staying here?”

He only responded with a nod.

Aoba couldn’t help but notice some of his scars. He saw a large one across his chest earlier. It looked bad. Aoba wondered when something like this could have happened to him. He wondered who did this to him. He wanted to know more than anything.

His gaze moved to his arms, noticing the collection of scars across his forearms. Those ones looked much older than the one on his chest but it still worried Aoba. How could somebody have this many scars and still claim they’re fine?

“Huh?” the younger man spoke weakly. He was unsure of his whereabouts for a moment and was a bit shocked to see Aoba standing over him with a perplexed look on his face.

“Noiz!” Aoba practically beamed.

“Why are you here.” He looked at Aoba like he wasn’t going to drop it without an answer.

“W-well, you were hurt so Koujaku and I brought you home and-”

“Why?”

“You passed out on the street. It’s really cold outside.” Noiz sat up, ignoring the little aches and pains. He noticed his wounds were taken care of. It confused him. Aoba confused him.

“I would have woken up and made it home fine.” His eyes narrowed, “I don’t need you.” Aoba heard himself gasp before he nodded and left the apartment. He really wanted to be there for Noiz but he kept pushing away. He was going backwards.

Aoba remembered the time he Scrapped with Noiz and saw the dark room, the chains, and all of his fears. He knew everything. Sure, he didn’t quite understand all of it, but he did his best to and pulled Noiz out of that dark room. Aoba broke the chains, they both knew that. But now, it felt like the chains were coming back and so was the darkness.

He didn’t want Noiz to go back to that lonely place again. Noiz may be able to feel pain now but it doesn’t change how people see him. He’s starting to crave pain again because he wants to numb the feeling of anything else. Sooner or later he’s going to lose it. Noiz is going to want to feel absolutely nothing but pain. And Aoba was scared that that pain would eventually be enough to kill him.

* * *

 

They weren't evil.

At least they didn't think so.

Everyone played Rhyme, so what made them any different than the rest of them? They were just playing the game everyone else enjoyed. But it really wasn't the same. They were vicious, dreadful even.

Anyone dragged into a their games were as good as dead and they knew it. Rhyme players were disappearing left and right. It happened to Ribsters at one point but now there were new victims. This time it wasn't for anything but fun.

The rumors flooded the streets. No one survived the Rhyme matches in order to run and tell others what they looked like. It was a total mystery. Any bodies found were covered in snake bites and large claw marks. Rhyme players started to piece together the likes of this mysterious duo. Whoever battled with a snake and a lion had to be the ones.

Virus sighed, staring down at the corpse of their latest victim. The appeal of this was fading but the rumors and fear excited him. He enjoyed seeing the panic fill their opponent once they found out they have been challenged by none other than Morphine. But the whole Rhyme match thing was getting old. The drive-by is initiated, the opponent freaks out, Trip calls for Welter to make a move and Virus calls to Hersha, the victim is killed and the whole thing starts over. It was a meaningless loop. He was tired of it.

"Trip." He spoke with a frown. His counterpart looked up, meeting his gaze and responded with a nod to show he is listening. "We need a new hobby." He continued.

"Like what?" Trip questioned.

"Something interesting."

"You're right. This is unsatisfactory."

"Killing innocent people is getting old." Virus smiled as he nudged the body lying in front of him. He could admit that it was fun for a little bit but now it just seemed overdone and boring. Rhyme matches kill people all the time, they weren't really doing above and beyond. Trip only nodded in response, not knowing an alternative to suggest.

They were weird people. Even weird was probably an understatement. They found the most bizarre things entertaining and had very small attention spans if things started to get repetitive. Virus quickly thought of things he's recently done and couldn't get Noiz out of his head. They spent the day together yesterday while Trip was out. Noiz didn’t make him bored. He knew that Aoba was in love with him at one point in time so he was special enough.

“What’s on your mind?” Trip gave Virus a quizzical look, knowing something was going on that he didn’t know. The smile that spread across Virus’ face was nothing short of villainous.

“Do you remember the Rhyme kid?”

“Which one?”

“Noiz.” Trip was taken aback by the name. He wondered why Virus would be talking about that kid. Was he important somehow?

“What about him?” He finally replied.

“What if we got him to do our dirty work?”

“What kind of dirty work?”

“Rhyme matches, missions from Toue, basically anything. He can be Morphine’s little pet, no?” The two sat in silence for a few moments while Trip thought about it. What did they really have to gain with bringing this kid along? But then again, what did they have to lose?   

“What makes you think he’ll just join us?”

“He’s self-destructive, Trip. He’ll do anything if it means it will bring him pain. At least that’s what I gathered during my…...extensive research.”

“Research?” Trip caught on. Virus’ smile faded and his carefree facade faded for a moment as he looked worriedly at his accomplice. Before responding, he cleared his throat and was back to the Virus everyone knows.

“Of course. I always do my research.”

And they left it at that.

* * *

 

He spent the day on the couch. It wasn’t like he had something to do anyway. Sure he could have gone out and sold information about Rhyme but he didn’t feel like it, plus he had enough money to last him a few lifetimes so it wasn’t necessary.

Everyone left him alone. That’s how he liked it. At least that’s how he thought he did. Being alone was something Noiz always did, yet he found himself feeling lost. He felt like he should be somewhere, doing something but he wasn’t. No one was really expecting him anywhere but he felt like someone was waiting for him somewhere. Mad. He was going mad, wasn’t he?

Noiz didn’t understand people. Aoba would ignore him for weeks on end but somehow would come back into his life preaching about how much he cares about Noiz. He knew that was bullshit. Aoba only acted like a loving person. Everything he said to Noiz in Scrap was a lie. He never meant any of it.

Being alone is the smartest and most efficient way to live.

“You’re wrong. I’ll make sure you are never alone again because I’ll never leave you alone.”

But Aoba couldn’t be more wrong. Noiz knew it was okay to stop trying, to give up, to never wake up. He knew it was okay. He didn’t know how Aoba convinced him otherwise but he was wrong.

Noiz stood up, stretching out his arms. He missed feeling even the slight discomfort from a cut or a bruise. He felt nothing. Noiz felt nothing and he hated it. Pain was a shitty thing to feel sometimes, but he couldn’t help but want to feel it again.

He remembered hearing there was to be a full moon tonight. For some reason, he found himself wanting to see it. It was just a moon, he thought, what’s the point in looking at it? Despite what he originally thought, he found himself going to the rooftop of his apartment building to look at it. No one was on the roof to bother him. He was alone and surprisingly didn’t feel lonely.

The Sun began to set and Noiz prepared himself to see the moon. Right before the Sun disappeared completely behind the horizon, Noiz heard the door to the roof creak open. He immediately turned towards the Noiz, angered by the fact that someone is disturbing his peace.

“Noiz?” He heard. That was one of the last voices he wanted o hear at this moment.

“Old Man.” He muttered, not even looking in his direction anymore. “How did you find me?”

“Uh.. Clear said he saw you up here. I thought I should check up on you since, you know.” Koujaku sat himself down right next to Noiz which annoyed him greatly.

“Tch.” He shifted over to the right a little, giving him a little more distance from Koujaku. “I’m fine, you can leave.”

“H-huh?”

“You can leave.” Noiz repeated.

“Listen. I know we fight all the time but if you ever need help or something you can come to me.”

“Yeah, like I’d be dumb enough to believe you’re a good person.” Noiz scoffed, “Plus I don’t need help.”

“Brat, you’re lying to yourself if you say you don’t need help. You don’t have to act tough, if anyone I understand-” Koujaku’s  words were cut off when he was tackled and pinned to the roof.

“No you don’t, Old Man. Aoba doesn’t even understand. If you try to show me pity again I can easily throw you off the roof.” Noiz growled. Koujaku swallowed hard, watching as Noiz’s stiff expression softened as he let go of him, sitting down again where he had been before. It was quiet after. Neither of them brought up that subject as the darkness overtook them. Koujaku knew he couldn’t just drop it.

“Noiz.” he started, “can you at least try and help me understand?”

“Why do you want to?”

“Because we’re friends aren’t we?”

“Friends?” Noiz laughed at that, “I don’t think we ever will be.”

“Okay, then what are we?”

“Nothing.” A few moments more of silence passed as Koujaku pieced together what he wanted to say.

“I still want to understand.” Noiz turned to face Koujaku. It was too dark to really read his facial expression but he sounded sincere.

“I’ve never felt pain until recently, I lived alone for my whole life, my parents hated me, and now you’re really annoying me.” Noiz rolled his eyes. Even it it was very minimal details, he immediately regretted telling Koujaku anything. He was going to laugh or say something along the line of, ‘oh I’m so sorry, you’re life must have been so hard how did you even cope?’ or some bullshit like that.

“Oh.”

“What a sad life, huh?” Noiz mocked himself. He had no idea what to say but he desperately wanted to change the subject.

“No one’s life is perfect.” Koujaku mumbled.

“Bet yours was.” Noiz rolled his eyes, expecting an awkward laugh in response, but it never came.

“Not even close.”

“Tell me.”

“I really messed up.” He started, standing to remove to top half of his kimono. Koujaku turned to show Noiz the tattoo he had on his back before quickly putting his kimono back on. “It’s so blurry, I was so angry I couldn’t control myself.” Koujaku continued, telling Noiz the complete story of the tattoo and Ryuuhou and his mother. He even swept his hair to the side, showing Noiz the tattoo he had on his face which shocked Noiz, making him wonder how he’s never seen that before.

“And he’s still out there, and I can’t control this thing.” He spoke sadly and full of regret. Koujaku sounded broken, defeated. Noiz never knew that he had been through things like this.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone this.” Noiz’s words were full of concern. His words were full of emotion.

“I wanted to tell Aoba. I came back here for him, you know.” Noiz didn’t respond. He didn’t know how to respond. instead he inched his way closer to Koujaku until their hips were touching side by side. It was late but the moon was still bright and full.  Noiz felt himself growing tired, on the verge of dozing off.

Koujaku was exhausted. He felt as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders for some reason. He wasn’t sure why. Noiz couldn’t fix him and he didn’t know how to fix Noiz but somehow he felt as if they understood each other at least a little bit. Koujaku’s eyelids were heavy, forcing their way down, dragging him into his slumber.

* * *

 

The night for others, however, dragged on. He was terrified. Aoba didn’t want Noiz to feel the way he did. It was his fault. He fixed him up, making him overcome any fears of the past. But it was also he who destroyed him again, tearing down every promise he made to him. Aoba blamed himself for everything. He deserved to be hated by Noiz but he wanted to stick around and make sure nothing bad happened to him.

It as late. The full moon shined in the sky, surrounded by a myriad of stars. It really was beautiful out, but he couldn’t get his mind off Noiz. Aoba knew he had a right to be worried because he never stopped caring about Noiz. He knew he didn’t see him nearly as much as he should have but it never stopped him from thinking about Noiz.

He gave up, trying to stay awake. His thoughts were strong, keeping his mind wandering, stopping him from getting the sleep he needed. Eventually he was overtaken by exhaustion and fell asleep.

_“Noiz!” Aoba called out, watching the man pull the knife out of his chest. It clattered to the floor, followed by tiny droplets of his blood. No. “Noiz!” he called out again, but he never looked in his direction. The blonde’s white dress shirt was soaked in his own blood from the wound he had made. Noiz’s expression never changed. It was as blank as it usually was. Did he even feel the knife? Aoba wondered. He was panicking now. All he could do was call out to him but Noiz never paid him any mind. He collapsed onto the floor, eyes wide. The blood pooling around his body made Aoba shout even louder than before. This couldn’t be happening. He heard glass shattering, the clear wall in front of him had gone, exploding into millions of pieces. “Noiz!”_

_Noiz’s eyes shifted towards Aoba ad he reached an arm out to his blue-haired friend. Aoba rushed to the man’s side, kneeling down in the puddle of blood, shaking Noiz._

_“Wake up, Noiz!” He pleaded, tears streaming down his face, dripping into the blood below. He was relentless, begging Noiz to return to him but it was useless. Noiz’s body lay still, unmoving before Aoba._

_“Why him?” Aoba breathed heavily, trying to stop the tears. He couldn’t. He loved Noiz and he just let him die. Why couldn’t he break the glass sooner? Why did he have to be on the other side? Aoba just kept asking himself why. He didn’t understand how life could be this cruel, making Noiz feel unwanted enough to do this. He just wanted all this to be fake._

In a cold sweat, Aoba shot up in his bed, wide-eyed and breathing heavily as he was in the dream. It was just a dream- no, nightmare- and none of t actually happened. Noiz was okay. The guilt surged through Aoba’s mind again, wondering if the dream meant anything more than what he saw. Did it have a deeper meaning? He was scared that Noiz would die, Aoba can admit to that. He then wondered why he was so scared now. Not much has changed, yet tonight of all nights he found himself deathly worried Noiz would die somehow.

Ever since the fall of the tower, Noiz was distant from Aoba, only spending time with him when he was forced to. Aoba didn’t spend too much time with Noiz but he still knew the blonde got into trouble. It was the same type of trouble he got into before he met Aoba. He wondered why he went back to that, he could feel. Craving a feeling he didn’t have was one thing, but chasing after it knowing it’s bad is unhealthy.

That’s why Aoba hoped Koujaku wouldn’t be good for him. They fought all the time while they were around each other. But that wasn’t real either. They still hated each other, they never stopped.

It never clicked for Aoba to believe that Noiz was after pain just because he knew he could feel it. He had been left emotionally numb when Aoba rejected him, bringing back memories of when his parents claimed to love him and then shut him out. Noiz opened himself up for the first time since then and he was shut out again.

Aoba laid down again, uneasily, hoping to return back to sleep so he wasn’t exhausted while he was at work. Though work was the least of his worries, he didn’t want to get fired. It took a few minutes, but Aoba eventually fell back into his slumber.

_The glass shattered again._

_A deafening shriek filled the air. Aoba looked around, seeing only white. A white room. He was alone. There was no sight of anybody else. Who made that noise? Aoba ran towards one of the walls, banging on it, trying to find a way out._

_“Help! Anybody!” His fists pounded on the wall, but no noise. Aoba yelled again, hearing nothing but silence. He sprinted towards each wall, finding the surface with his fist and hearing nothing in return. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t cry, he couldn’t hear anything._

_That was until a faint creaking sound could be heard. Aoba turned towards the noise and saw him. Noiz stood in front of him, gripping a knife in his right hand and clenching his left one. He didn’t say anything. He just stared at Aoba with a blank expression. he was trying desperately to read his face, to find out what he was thinking, but it was just neutral. There was nothing. Aoba knew nothing._

_Noiz took a step forward, moving his hand up to grab Aoba’s shoulder. He was jerked forward, leaving a small space between their bodies. His gaze moved to the knife, but Noiz never tore his eyes away from Aoba. The knife was raised, held in between them, pointing towards Noiz’s stomach._

_“....N-noiz.” Aoba shook his head, feeling tears starting to well up in his eyes. his heart started beating faster, thumping as if it was going to jump out of his chest and grab the knife away from him. Then he did it. Aoba froze. He wanted to pull the knife out of hand, shove him away, he wanted to do something but he just couldn’t._

_“I don’t need to apologize.” was all Noiz spoke before plunging the knife deep into his stomach and violently yanking it out with a twist._

_Aoba fell to the ground, screaming loudly, and staring up at Noiz. His hand moved to the wound in his stomach. Why would Noiz stab him? The blood gushed out of his stomach and Aoba started to feel lightheaded. Noiz just watched, gripping the bloodied knife just like he did before. He didn’t seemed phased by this. Aoba was bleeding out in front of him and he didn’t care. He caused it._

_The first thing he thought of was Noiz. He didn’t need to apologize. Aoba knew he didn’t treat Noiz the way he deserved. He deserved this, didn’t he?_

_Noiz’s image started to blur and his eyelids finally shut, hearing the clatter of the knife hitting the floor._

His alarm woke him up this time. Aoba still felt his heart beating fast. He realized the point of this. To make things right with Noiz. He had to apologize or make it up to him somehow. Noiz doesn’t deserve to feel like that. No one does.

* * *

 

The sun rose over the horizon, shining its bright rays over the island. Noiz stirred, remembering that he had fallen asleep on the roof. Not wanting to get up just yet, he groggily buried his head in the crook of the other man’s neck to shield his eyes from the sun.

He comfortably laid there for a half hour before he realized who he was sleeping next to. Noiz pulled back, making a gagging noise as he stood up. Old Man really didn’t look too pretty while he slept.

His mouth hung open, which was very dangerous to do outdoors. His arms were spread like a bird, one was originally around Noiz, but he rolled over at some point, flopping onto his back. Poor bastard fell asleep still wearing his shoes. Noiz shook his head and stifled a laugh. He was cute.

He looked away, furrowing his eyebrows tentatively thinking about the events from last night. He wasn’t sure how much he hated Koujaku anymore.

They always couldn’t stand each other. The only time they got along was when they were around Aoba because they had to. They would start to talk normally- as normal as each of them get- and one of them would do or say something that angered the other and they went at it. Most conversations ended that way yet the one they had last night didn’t.

It was deep and meaningful. Koujaku listened to what Noiz had to say and in return, Noiz listened to what Koujaku had to say. Neither of them made fun of each other’s past. They didn’t understand each other completely but they both learned something.

It was odd, how he felt. He wanted to keep on hating Koujaku like he had before but it was different now.

Noiz left the roof, running down the steps. He needed to take a walk and figure this out. He was on the verge of panic again. He didn’t reveal as much as Koujaku did, but he opened up to him and he couldn’t help but feel vulnerable again. His parents shut him out when he needed them, he opened up to Aoba and he shut him out, now he did this. This was a mistake and he knew it.

He was walking, just short of a jog, down the sidewalk in the hopes to clear his head or maybe to think of some stupid thing to say to get Koujaku to think that his story wasn’t real and he just made it up to get a reaction.  

He didn’t know where he was going. All Noiz knew was he had to go somewhere else. This island started to feel smaller and smaller. He’d be better off going back to Germany. He didn’t need anyone here. But he knew he couldn’t go back. Going to Germany would allow his parents to find him somehow. Noiz’s dad ran a big business that was very popular in Germany. If a man showed up, looking at least a little bit like his father, they would ask about it. He didn’t even remember what his father looked like.

Noiz stupidly brought two old pictures to the island with him so he wouldn’t forget. He didn’t know why he even wanted to remember. One was of his parents and the other was his brother when he was three. The one of his parents, he hasn’t seen since he took it but he looked at his brother whenever he felt lost. Theo never was bad to him. While they were young he would always try and get Noiz to come out and play like they had used to but he didn’t understand then. Eventually he must have caught on because he stopped coming to the door.

“Oh would you look who it is!”

“Just the person we were looking for.” The words tore noiz out of his thoughts, looking up to see who was speaking to him. Virus and Trip smiled in his direction, looking like they were up to no good. Noiz rolled his eyes and sighed, hoping they would leave him alone soon. He didn’t want to have a repeat of last time. Or any repercussions.

“We wanted to ask you a question, Noiz.” Viru lifted his hand up to his neck, rubbing it nervously. He wasn’t the type to get nervous. This was an act for sure.

“Then ask.” he added, uninterestedly.

“Join Morphine.” Trip cut to the chase.

“Why?”

“We think you’ll be a lovely ally.” Virus spoke in his usual, composed and confident tone, adding a friendly smile on top of it.

“No.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.” Noiz was growing more annoyed the longer this conversation dragged on.

“You’ll regret that.” Trip spoke sternly.

“Is that a threat?” Noiz took a step closer to the two of them as if to show them he wasn’t afraid of any threat or insult they threw his way.

“More like a warning.”

“It’s more like a joke.” Virus pushed himself in front of Trip, standing face to face with Noiz, “Sooner or later you’ll want to join us. I just know you will.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is gonna be big


	11. The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the part where he kills you

As soon as they appeared, they were gone. Noiz shook his head, pushing thoughts of the estranged duo out of his mind and focusing on the important things. He had to figure out what his stance on Koujaku was. The wind picked up, whipping around buildings fiercy, causing Noiz to shiver. It would have been smart to put a few more layers on.

Tonight was supposed to be a bad storm, the worst of the season. It was supposed to be the most snow the island has ever gotten in history. No one really believed it would happen but took precautions anyway. Well not everyone gave a damn. The wind sure was serious about it. It blew like it was angry, like it was going to form a tornado.

Noiz passed Koujau’s shop, taking note that is was closed today. There was still a gaggle of women crowding the sidewalk, anxiously awaiting his return. He just chuckled as he passed by, knowing for certain Koujaku would not be making it in today. Those ladies really should go home before the weather gets any worse.

That sure was a hypocritical thing for Noiz to think, seeing as he had no intention of going home for a while. He didn’t know where he was headed. He just needed to get somewhere secluded and fast. He wanted to sit somewhere and think things out before he acted out again. He figured he had suffered too many times while acting on impulse and he couldn’t afford to fuck it up again.

Noiz walked past the cemetery. He was disappointed to see a funeral going on right by the tree he sat under. He could have sat anywhere else but the sense of familiarity he had in that spot could have made him feel more comfortable. Being comfortable wasn’t going to happen now that he had to find somewhere new.

It was well past noon by the time he found himself at the beach. Aoba said something about the beach once, maybe that’s why Noiz subconsciously wandered in that direction. He had only been there once when he first got to the island. He never really had a desire to go back, there was no reason to.

The chilled sand felt weird beneath him as he sat down, digging his fingers into it as well. He lifted some of the sand up to his face, watching it sift quickly through his fingers and back onto the ground where it had been. It reminded him of an hourglass. His time really did feel like it was running out. Noiz wasn’t quite sure what he was being timed for but it sure felt like he didn’t have enough time for it.

Noiz really hated Koujaku. He did with all his being, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to say it out loud anymore. Was he really going soft? Everything that had happened with Koujaku was a series of ups and downs. He enjoyed pissing off the Old Man but he also liked spending time with him.

That was his first mistake. He said yes to Koujaku’s whole charade. He still owed him something. A favor or something similar. Koujaku would probably deny it since their dating plan didn’t work and Noiz quit halfway through. Noiz started to think about why he quit anyway.

He was scared that Koujaku was in love with him. At least, that’s what he told himself. That’s what he made himself believe. Maybe it was him. Noiz was in love with Koujaku. It all made sense finally.

The reason why he was never as mean as he used to be towards Koujaku, the reason why he was never repulsed by sleeping with Koujaku’s arms wrapped around him, the reason why he never cached in on that favor Koujaku owed him, it was because he was in love with him. He opened up about himself on the roof. Noiz didn’t say a lot but he let him in. Koujaku did the same. He told Noiz something that he hadn’t even told Aoba.

Noiz felt his heart beating faster. It had been a long time since he payed attention to it. He always tried to ignore the fact that he had one. He knows now that it all was a mistake. Everything he said to Koujaku, everything he did to Koujaku was a big mistake.

There was no way he was going to try and love again. First, he loved his parents and they absolutely betrayed his trust. Then, there was Aoba. The first man he saw a future with. It was impressive because he had never seen himself even interacting in a positive way with anyone.

There was a part of him, gleaming with hope, the hope that he could do this again and will be happy someday. That part of him was an idiot. Noiz knew he never deserved to be happy. He was born a monster and that was exactly the way he was going to die. He was nothing more, nothing less.

Noiz was also not the best at confessing any sort of feelings towards anyone. He never did it to Aoba, it just happened. He kissed Aoba, he complimented Aoba, he fucked Aoba but he never looked him in the eyes and said ‘I love you’

At least he didn’t remember saying it. He showed it. He proved his love to Aoba. No words were even necessary. But how would he show Koujaku anyway?

Koujaku hated Noiz and probably never will stop. The only times he sought after Noiz was to deliver bad news or to ask for something. There always had to be something in it for him. Noiz always assumed that he was the selfish one but in reality they both were. They only gave when they knew they would receive something in return.

Noiz sighed, leaning back into sand, watching the angry gray clouds move above him. It was going to snow and it showed. He didn’t need to be a meteorologist to know. The sky was very readable but he narrowed his eyes, almost like he was searching for answers within the clouds.

As much as it pained him, Noiz knew he had to tell Koujaku everything. He had to confess how he felt about Noiz or the feeling would never go away. He would take the rejection, bury his pride, and go on with life on his own. That’s how his life was meant to go anyway.

But then again there was that little hope inside of him. That itty bitty part of his mind that believed that he wouldn’t be able to take the rejection they way he is imagining. There was that part that believed Koujaku would love him back. Those parts of him were bound to be the death of him. Something so small could actually be enough to end his life tonight.

Noiz was tired of thinking about it. He was finally at the point where he was thinking about it too much. You know what they say, over-thinking can kill you.

He stood, brushing the sand off his back and out of his hair. The sand fell back into the pile with the others and Noiz turned to leave. This time he didn’t wander. He knew where he had to go and he knew he had to go there now. He had to go see Koujaku and nothing and no one was going to stop him now.

It felt like he was walking to his death like a serial murderer. Noiz walked in a straight path, not making eye contact with anyone who passed by him on the sidewalk. He was on a mission. This time there was somewhere he had to be. Though he knew no one was actually waiting for him, he had somewhere to be. For the first time in a long time he wasn’t just some mindless wanderer through the city.

By the time he got to Koujaku’s house, a light snow already began to fall. Tiny flakes landed in his hair, glistening faintly in the sunlight. The sun was going to set soon, reminding Noiz again of the night he just spent with Koujaku. He knocked on the door twice before shoving his hands into his pockets nervously. Noiz hoped he wasn’t home. Maybe then he’d have enough time to change his mind. Maybe then he’d get over this stupid crush or infatuation. But all of that wasn’t going to happen when the door swung open.

“Huh? Noiz?”

* * *

 

“Hello?” The timid voice on the other side of the line spoke. Aoba sighed, knowing the drill by now. This started to get really easy, convincing phone customers to buy more than what they needed. Maybe that was why Haga-san kept him around. No one really came around to the shop anymore. It was boring, really.

Aoba started down at the counter with a perplexed look on his face. A lot of things had been going on at once and it was difficult to get everything straight. Everything seemed to be falling apart. Mizuki still hadn’t talked to him, Noiz won’t give him the time of day anymore, and Koujaku has been more irritable ever since Noiz and him “broke up.” It was weird he was acting like that. They were never actually dating yet he was acting like they actually broke up. They just stopped pretending.

The phone rang again, momentarily pulling Aoba away from his worries.

“Junk Shop Heibon, how may I assist you today!” He said, forcing himself to sound as cheery as possible.

“Uh...h….Aoba?” His eyes widened, hearing the voice on the other end of the line. It couldn’t possibly be him, could it? Aoba immediately shifted from his normal laid back and leaning posture to leaning forward on the desk with his head propped up by his fists.

“Mizuki, is it really you?”

“Yes, it’s me.” He responded meekly. “I really want to talk to you today. Can you meet me today?”

“Of course! Where?” Aoba said, not even worried about the fact that he sounded way too eager.

“My house, seven o’clock?”

“Sounds good!”

“See you then.”

“Bye.”

Aoba leaned back again, letting out a relieved sigh. He never thought Mizuki would call him today, or any time soon, or any time ever. He knew he hurt Mizuki and never imagined him to want to talk to him for a long long time. He was very excited to hear from him, it had felt like it actually had been an eternity.

Now it was four, the sun was going to set soon. The small sprinkles of snow looked pretty as Aoba watched them fall to the ground. As long as he wasn’t in the snow, he was okay with it. He was a little frustrated that he had to work on a day like this. There was a major blizzard warning yet here he was in the junk shop.

It didn’t really matter now. He would get out of work at six and it would all be worth it.

* * *

 

By the time six o’clock rolled around, Aoba was ecstatic. To him, it felt as if the minutes and seconds dragged on for years ever since he hung up with Mizuki. He didn’t know what he wanted to talk about, but he was excited to see his face again, to hear his voice again, to be with him again.

Of course it dawned on him that Mizuki might want to break up with him but he tried not to think about that. Positivity was the way to go. He stood from his seat behind the counter and headed eagerly for the door. As he locked up the shop for the night, Aoba could visibly see his hands shaking but he wasn’t sure whether it was anticipation or fear.

Mizuki didn’t live that far away from the shop. It was difficult for Aoba to go to work everyday and stop himself from making the right towards Mizuki’s instead of the left towards Heibon. When his house came into view, Aoba saw the lights shining brightly out of the windows. The snow was getting worse but nothing would stop him from seeing Mizuki this time. Not the few inches of snow already on the ground, not the below 0 temperature, not the flurry of snowflakes trying to impair his vision, nothing.

He knocked way too many times on the door but he was way too tired and his hands were way too cold and numb to care. The door opened slowly and Mizuki smiled once he saw his boyfriend standing on his porch.

“Come in.” He backed out of the way, pulling the door open wide enough for him to step through. He felt bad walking in covered in hundreds of tiny snowflakes. Aoba took off his boots and shook off some of the snow back onto the porch before placing them neatly by the side of the door.

“I’ve missed you.” Aoba blurted out as he stood, closing the door behind him to keep out the snow and the cold.

“I’ve missed you too.” he nodded, “Come sit down.” Mizuki gestured his hand towards the couch. It was the very same couch he sat on when he confessed his mistake to him. After a few moments of hesitation, Aoba nodded and made his way over to the couch.

Mizuki however, did not follow him. Instead he disappeared into the kitchen for a few moments, leaving Aoba to sweat it out just a little longer. When he returned, he was carrying two glasses of hot chocolate. As he sat down, he set the two mugs down on the table in front of them.

Mizuki’s house was very inviting which may surprise people seeing as he is the head of the Rib team, Dry Juice. There was a welcoming fire going in the fireplace on the other side of the mahogany coffee table.

It was a small place, but it was more than enough room for one person to live in. Aoba sort of wished he had a place like this but he could never leave Granny alone in a house by herself.

“Aoba?” Mizuki started, leaning towards Aoba, “I don’t want to lose you and I had a lot of time to think about it and I think that I overreacted and I just-”

“You didn’t overreact, I made a mistake and you reacted like any normal person would.”

“That aside.” he cleared his throat, “I still believe I overreacted and I just want to forget about this, okay?”

“Like go back to how things were?” Aoba tilted his head to the side and questioned. Mizuki only nodded. The blush on his cheeks was growing darker and his body growing warmer. Mizuki’s words made Aoba one hundred percent happier than he was when he left that shop. He was at an all time high. He leaned in closer to Mizuki and nodded as well, “Yeah, I’d love that.” Aoba responded before pressing his lips against his boyfriend’s.

* * *

 

“Can I come inside?” Noiz acted politely. Koujaku furrowed his eyebrows, giving Noiz a quizzical look before moving out of the way to let him inside. He was acting nicer than usual. Did something happen? Was it something he said on the roof? Koujaku didn’t quite understand yet.

Noiz sauntered in, hands nervously dug into his pockets and staring down at the ground instead of his surroundings. Last time he was here, he took many notes about the way Old Man lived. He questioned his cleanliness, noticed certain habits, and other strange things. This time he was strictly here for business and wanted to get in and get out as quickly and painlessly as possible.

This whole thing was stupid. He wasn’t sure why he was doing it. That feeling he had wouldn’t go away. It frustrated him because he had tried for years to suppress any feelings and to become a human robot. He worked hard to prove that he didn’t need anyone. All of that hard work ended up being for nothing when he met Aoba.

Aoba broke him in a way. Noiz was perfectly content living the way he was. No one was able to hurt him and he would never be disappointed again. Aoba changed that, he made Noiz care- at least a little- and he hated him for it. He figured it wouldn’t be that big of a problem if he stayed with Aoba. Then, at least, he wouldn’t have been disappointed a second time and left in a world alone, completely full of things he hadn’t felt in years. The walls had to be rebuilt. obviously he hadn’t built them fast enough.

“Why are you here?” Koujaku finally asked, watching Noiz pace back and forth from the kitchen to the living room. He hadn’t spoken a word for almost ten minutes and Koujaku was growing more and more annoyed by the second.

He couldn’t say that seeing Noiz was necessarily a bad thing, Koujaku had to admit that. After learning a little about Noiz’s past, Koujaku found himself disliking him a little less. Sure he still hated him, but he felt like he related to him somehow. They both had a past they’d rather not talk about or even remember but it defined them.

He never quite understood Noiz but he never expected anyone to fully understand him either. Koujaku was unsure of how he should act around him now, like the status quo has changed. Was it okay to be rude to and insult someone who has suffered greatly in the past? Was it weird to suddenly be nice to him? Would Noiz take it as pity? Koujaku ran millions of questions through his mind before realizing that he was now the one being stared at.

“Are you done making that stupid face?” Noiz smirked, calming the mood a little. They were both very nervous for many reasons but neither of them could sense the other was anything but normal.

“I-It wasn’t a stupid face!”

“If it’s you, any face you make is stupid.”

“You’re making fun of my face!? You should see yours, asshole!” Koujaku was fuming. He was fully prepared to be nice to this kid but apparently Noiz has decided that the status quo has remained unchanged. Noiz wanted to be mean like they always were, Koujaku had no problem with it.

“My face is fine.” Noiz suddenly replied with a frown. It looked like someone just kicked his puppy. Why was he so offended by that? “At least, you thought so before.”

“What are you talking about?” Koujaku questioned, genuinely confused.

“You like my face, don’t you?” the blond smirked, crossing the room towards Koujaku.

“W-what-” it sounded like Koujaku was going to say more but paused when he was pushed against the wall. Noiz stood in front of him, one hand on Old Man’s waist and the other pressed up against the wall by Koujaku’s face. He licked his lips and watched Koujaku struggle to find words, his mouth just hung open, spewing random sounds like he was trying to string together something.

“You like my face, don’t you?” Noiz repeated the question.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” Koujaku began to laugh. “You always joke about how much I want your ass but you came over my house for this!?”

“That’s not why.” Noiz backed away, moving one hand to the back of his neck and staring down at the floor.  

“Then why?” He composed himself, honestly feeling bad for just laughing in his face. He seemed more vulnerable now and Koujaku had no idea how to phrase things in front of him now. Maybe he actually struck a nerve or some weak point.

Silence only followed Koujaku’s question. There Noiz stood, in the middle of the room, unable to even look up at Koujaku at this point. This was the moment of truth. It was the time for him just to say it or to just leave. He couldn’t think of something witty or sarcastic or even remotely insulting to shoot back at Koujaku to buy him more time at this point. Noiz felt as if his brain just started failing him, denying him of any other words to say.

“Spit it out, then.” Koujaku prompted again. Whatever Noiz had to say obviously was important or he wouldn’t be acting this way. He had never seen Noiz act this way. Every time Koujaku saw Noiz, he was rude, cold, condescending, and an outright asshole. But now he was standing in the middle of his living room, staring down at the floor with his arms folded tightly in front of his chest with a face full of emotion. There were feelings in that face and Koujaku could see it. He saw what looked like anger or even fear. If there was something that could bring fear to Noiz’s face, it had to be something pretty freaking scary.

“I can’t do this.” He finally spoke. Koujaku recalled him saying something similar to him before.

"Do what?"

_"You." A small smirk spread across Noiz's face as he said this._

_"What do you mean me?"_

_"Old man, I can't keep pretending to date you." Koujaku stiffened._

_"Why not?" He asked anyway. Noiz just shook his head and moved to his hands up to his head. Koujaku sat there. Noiz opened his mouth to finally answer and Koujaku half expected some long-winded love confession._

_"I can't stand you." Was what came out of his mouth instead._

“Do what?” He asked, feeling as if he repeated himself.

“You can’t see it, can you?” Noiz was looking at him now, shaking his head and laughing quietly like he knew something.

“See what?”

“That I’m in love with you.” That was new. Koujaku’s eyes widened, watching Noiz and waiting for him to give up the act and to tell him he was just kidding. He looked one hundred percent serious. His smile even looked sincere, even hopeful.

Koujaku didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t say anything. It was like those words Noiz spoke tore the air from his lungs. Koujaku just stood there, mouth agape as Noiz watched him with hopeful eyes.

“Uh….N-noiz I” he forced out, his mouth dry. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He had no idea how he felt about Noiz, but he was sure it wasn’t love. It couldn’t be, right?

Noiz said nothing in return. All he did was turn on his heel and head for the door.

“Wait! We can talk about this?” Koujaku held his hand up to signal him over again but it was too late. The door slammed behind Noiz and he went off into the storm. Koujaku immediately pulled out his Coil and dialed Aoba’s number. It rang a few times, but he picked up.

“Hello?”

“Aoba, something happened.” he spoke, sounding urgent.

“Wait wait, what?”

“Can you come over?”

“I’m with Mizuki right now, Koujaku, can’t you just tell me what happened?” Aoba started to sound annoyed.

“He can come too, I just need to talk to someone.”

With a sigh, Aoba responded with an okay and hung up the phone. The wait for them took forever. He began pacing back and forth from either end of the couch because he was getting too anxious standing still.

* * *

 

Rejections didn’t hurt any less the third time than the first. That was something Noiz learned the hard way. That small glint of hope he had in his heart now felt like a knife, stabbing him in the chest as a punishment for hoping in the first place. He didn’t need feelings and he didn’t need Koujaku. But god dammit, he wanted him.

The snow was falling hard, making it hard to see down the street. He walked on anyway, feeling tears prick the corners of his eyes, begging to fall. Noiz wasn’t going to let Koujaku of all people make him cry. He was much stronger than that, he knew that.

This new feelings made him want to punch something. Hard. He just wanted to override the feeling. If he felt more physical pain than emotional pain, it would go away. Noiz felt like punching a wall until his fingers broke and his hands were swollen.

He hated love and he hated Koujaku. This whole thing was stupid. He was angry at himself for even admitting something so stupid. He just wanted to shut down.

This craving was getting worse. Noiz didn’t fully understand why pain was so appealing to him nowadays anyway. Whenever he used to play Rhyme to get a feel for what pain actually was, he didn’t crave it nearly as much as he did once Aoba left. He knew he could feel it so that’s all he wanted to feel. He wanted to use pain to drown out everything else. He deserved to get hurt because he was still the monster he used to be. Just because he could feel doesn’t change the way people see him.

_“Wilhelm, where do you think you’re going!?” His mother cried. He rolled his eyes irritably, picking up his bag and walking closer to the door._

_“Away.”_

_“Don’t leave, we love you.” Noiz visibly winced at those words, knowing it was just a flat out lie. If she loved him she wouldn’t have locked him away for so many years, leaving him to lick his own wounds and live on his own. He was ready to leave, he was glad to go. Now that he was eighteen, he was able to leave and there was nothing his mother could do or say to get him to stay._

_“I’m going.” He urged, taking another step towards the door. He did wish he could say goodbye to his brother, but leaving in the middle of the night was supposed to be the best choice. No one was supposed to catch him. No one was supposed to beg him to stay. There were supposed to wave him off and say ‘Good riddance.’_

_His mother was crying now, breathing heavily and choking back sobs. It was like she was losing a son or something. That wasn’t the case though. She was losing a monster, she should be happy._

_“What are you going to do when you leave?”_

_“Live.” Noiz recalled hearing words alone the lines of, ‘you have no idea how life is’ but she was crying too hard for him to know if that’s what she said for sure. He wouldn’t put it past her. The reason he doesn’t know how life is outside of those doors was because he was kept from it for all those years. At this point, he didn’t care how life was. He just wanted to know something outside of that room again. He wanted to remember._

_“Once you walk out those doors, I’ll never see you again.” She reached her hand out to Noiz, begging, pleading for him to stay. For what? Why did she want him here so bad? It was because she didn’t want people recognizing him and asking about what happened to him for all these years. His mother made up this lie and said he spent a long time in the hospital and passed away. How would people see her once they knew the truth. Once they knew she lied. It wasn’t Noiz’s problem._

_“That’s the point.” He glared at his mother, one hand on the doorknob and the other tightly gripping his bag. “I don’t want to see you ever again.”_

_And with that, he walked out the door, slamming it behind him and never looking back._

Noiz needed to feel something other than the broken heart inside of him. He only knew two people who would give him what he wanted and that’s exactly where he was going to go. The alleyway wasn’t very far from Koujaku’s house but it was harder to find because of the snow. It was well below freezing now and anyone would be stupid or suicidal to be out in this weather.

* * *

 

“He what!?”

“He told me he loved me.” It sounded even weirder coming from his mouth than Noiz’s.

“What did you say?” Aoba and Mizuki spoke in unison, turning to each other to laugh once they realized they were thinking the same thing.

“I said no.”

“You what!?” Aoba’s smiling face was replaced by a look of pure horror.

“I said I didn’t love him back.”

“Why would you tell him that.”

“Because it’s true.”

“”I don’t think it is.”Aoba argued.

“Well it’s true.” Koujaku retorted, resting his hands on his hips.

“Fine. Where did he go anyway?”

“I don’t know, he just walked out.” Koujaku sighed, “I have no idea where he went.”

* * *

 

There was an excited gasp.

“Noiz-san is that you? I can’t see too well through all this snow.” a voice spoke. The alleyway was dark and the snow was coming down quickly. Noiz was a little surprised to see these two outside in weather like this. Maybe they expected him or something.

“It’s nice to see you.” the other spoke. His lack of shock convinced Noiz that they had been waiting for him like they knew he would come find them tonight. Now that he thought about it, Virus’ gasp sounded a little planned and overdramatic as well.

“I want to fight you in Rhyme.”

“You know we don’t do that anymore, Noiz-san.” Virus stepped forward, out from the overhang that protected him and Trip from the heavy snow. He was wearing the same suit as he always does, seemingly unphased by the cold. Maybe their icy hearts were comfortable with lower temperatures.

“Fight me in Rhyme.” He insisted again, looking more desperate than he had when he first asked.

“We don’t do that.” Trip was angry. Noiz was getting on his nerves and he didn’t quite like him but if Virus thought he would be a good asset to the team, there had to be something good about this kid.

“We may be willing to change our minds if we,” Virus dragged on the last word of his sentence as if he was thinking, “got something in return?”

“Like what?” Noiz mindlessly responded, sounding way too eager. Virus smiled, turning his head towards Trip who met his smile with one of his own. Their devious glances at each other sent a shiver down Noiz’s spine. That time he knew it wasn’t the cold.

“Join us, Noiz-san.”

“Fine. If I lose.” Noiz fully intended to lose this match but there was no way he would actually join Morphine. He was willing, however, to agree to anything just to get what he wants right now.

“If you lose.” Trip repeated with a chuckle. Virus shot him a knowing glance before turning back to Noiz with a wide grin.

“Deal. Let us begin!” Virus clapped his hands together and the three of them were dragged into Rhyme.

Their Rhyme field was much different than Noiz’s. There were no bunnies, no pseudo rabbit cubes anymore, he was on Virus and Trip’s field now. Everything was dark. The only thing Noiz could see was the duo themselves, standing on the other side of the field with a bright light shining on them. It was odd looking at them and not seeing an Allmate. How were they going to fight? They didn’t even fight real battles without them.

The lights around them started to flicker on, showing Noiz that they were in some sort of colosseum. There were thousands of people cheering from the stands but they weren’t real, they didn’t have eyes. Noiz shook his head, wondering if Virus and Trip perform better in front of an audience or maybe they just like to believe that people are encouraging them.

Noiz couldn’t tear his eyes away from the crowd. He noticed details about the ones in the front rows. They seemed injured, like they were mauled by a lion. He started to notice that all of them were like that. Then it hit him. Each person in the crowd was once a person that Virus and Trip challenged to Rhyme and lost. All the fans were dead. These two were genuinely twisted people.

The large archway underneath the stands was dark, but everyone was staring at it. They were waiting for something. A loud roar rang out through the colosseum and Noiz flinched. An enormous lion emerged from the darkness, covered head to paw in metallic, black armor. This will be fun. Welter roared once more, silencing the cheering crowd, and sauntered over to his owner.

Noiz kept his eyes fixed on the archway, knowing there was another thing coming. The low hiss he heard only meant one thing, Hersha. The serpent slithered out of the abyss, much bigger than the actual snake and covered in the same armor as Welter. Hersha’s fangs were huge, roughly four feet long.

With a sigh, Noiz called for his Allmates to gather. There were many more of them than Virus and Trip’s duo but they were in no way stronger than them. He never modded them with more than he needed because he was never scared of what he got. Pseudo Rabbit and the others always had the speed and agility to win, but never the defense. Noiz knew this was going to be his final battle, but why go out without a fight? Why go out without a little fun?

“Your move, Noiz-san!” He heard Virus call from the other end.

“Go.” Noiz ordered, pointing his finger towards his opponent. The rabbits leaped into the air, fists first and flying towards the Allmates. He stopped to glance at Virus and Trip only to see them standing calmly next to each other like they had nothing to worry about. This Rhyme match had absolutely no restrictions. Any damage done to the opponent was done to them in real life on top of and mental damage. There was no way to quit or forfeit. There was only a fight until one side could not fight any longer.

These were the kind of Rhyme matches that killed people. Yes, people have been killed in matches with more restrictions but these were a free for all. It was a merciless way to fight, Noiz would never fight like this. Not unless he already decided that he was going to lose, then he welcomed it.

The hit landed easily, the rabbits bounced comically off the armor, doing absolutely no damage to the Allmates. Damn these guys. Noiz ordered his Allmates to try again, yet the same thing happened when they tried to attack Hersha. Fighting back really was pointless, wasn’t it?

With a smirk, Virus held his finger up in the air. Hersha watched him for instruction, springing into action once he flicked his finger forward towards Noiz as to say, ‘Charge.’ Hersha slithered menacingly towards him, fangs glowing red. Noiz closed his eyes and braced himself for impact, but it never came. The snake had stopped in front of him, waiting for him to open his eyes like he wanted him to stare death in the face.

Noiz opened one eye, watching the snake patiently wait in front of him. One direct hit from those fangs could probably kill him. What was he thinking? The glowing tip of Hersha’s fangs set off a beam of heat, burning Noiz’s shoulder. The searing heat melted his sleeve and made Noiz shout in pain.

“Welter, go.” Trip raised his hand to signal Welter to make a move when Virus held his arm across Trip’s chest to stop him.

“Remember we can’t kill him, Morphine doesn’t need any dead members.” Virus whispered to Trip, voice sounding stern and in control.

“Then how are we going to-” Trip questioned in the same hushed tone.

“Follow my lead.” Virus smirked, nodding at Trip to signal Welter to go again. Noiz wasn’t supposed to die, near death, however, was never frowned upon in their book. If Noiz happened to die after the match, that wasn’t their problem.

“Welter, bite.”

The lion roared, walking nobly across the field like he was giving Noiz enough time to dodge it. He opened his mouth to order his Allmates to defend him but no words came out. He wanted to get hit by the worst of it. Noiz wanted anything and everything Virus and Trip threw at him. He said before that he didn’t want to die at the hands of these idiots but now it didn’t seem so bad. They were the only ones willing to actually kill him.

Trip furrowed his eyebrows, watching Noiz just stand there and not react. He fully expected him to dodge that, easily. Virus was right, he really was a self-destructive kid.

Welter paced around Noiz, buying him more time to dodge but he never did. The crowd was cheering again, rooting for the ones that killed them, hoping to add another body to the crowd. He remained in that spot, blank expression like he wasn’t scared at all. He wasn’t even paying attention to Welter. Trip looked at Virus with a look that said,’what do I do now?’ Virus only nodded.

“Go ahead.” He called across the colosseum towards his Allmate. The lion roared again, balancing itself on its hind legs and bit into Noiz’s shoulder, right where Hersha had burned. Noiz clenched his fists and shut his eyes, gritting his teeth to keep himself from screaming again. The feeling of a lion digging its teeth into an already injured area was intense but Noiz was trying to handle it. As he opened his eyes, he saw Welter walking back to Trip with his head held high in victory.

“L-Loss, set.” Noiz managed to say. He held his shoulder and felt all the torn up skin. Welter didn’t bite hard enough to break the bone in part of his arm, Noiz could feel it. he moved his hand away from the wound and saw it dripping with blood. The probably wouldn’t heal right, Noiz thought. But it didn’t really matter. He was going to be dead in a few minutes anyway.

Pseudo Rabbit repeated his orders and the rabbits jumped up again. Some of the punches landed, hitting Hersha where the armor didn’t cover. The snake barely flinched but at least it was an effective hit. Noiz nodded and they charged again, hitting Hersha in the same spot, knocking it backwards slightly. Virus gasped worriedly at his Allmate, not at all expecting it to get hurt let alone by rabbits. He shook his head, knowing that they were going too easy on Noiz.

“That’s it.” Virus bit his tongue, “Kill him.”

Hersha slithered over to Noiz again, wrapping its tail around Noiz’s ankle and hoisting him into the air. Noiz gasped, feeling the blood rush to his head. At this point, his shoulder felt numb, like he didn’t have that arm anymore.

“Welter!” Trip screamed, watching his Allmate sprint towards his opponent. They weren’t going to play nice anymore. Welter leaped into the air and long spears started to appear around him. One by one the spears shot forward.

The first once pierced right through his leg, missing the bone by mere inches. the next stuck into his right hand, opposite of the injured shoulder. The third stuck into his side, making Noiz feel dizzy. Everything looked distorted, he was losing consciousness fast. he couldn’t take another hit, but he wanted one.

The last spear was launched, heading straight for Noiz’s heart. At that moment he thought about everything. It wasn’t as cheesy as you life flashing before your eyes. It was what he cared about. He always wanted to die but now that he was going to, he didn’t want it to end this way.

The spear flung through the air, its destination decided. Noiz closed his eyes, prepared to take what he asked for. Everything was quiet, like everyone was waiting for the final blow to hit. There was no cheering, it didn’t even sound like anyone was breathing.

Then a loud clank filled the air. Noiz opened his eyes to see a dragon floating in front of him. It looked like something he’d seen before.

“Go!” He heard a woman order. Calamity. The dragon roared, shooting a wall of fire towards Welter. The two Allmates retreated and Noiz plummeted to the ground. He was unconscious before he made contact.

All of a sudden, they were back in the alleyway. The snow on the ground was dyed red and Calamity was nowhere to be found. She saved his life for a second time and he had no idea why. Virus and Trip were looked down at Noiz, disappointed to see he was still breathing even if it was barely. Virus pulled out his Coil, ignoring the fact that snow was beginning to bury the body.

“Hello?”

“Aoba-san, come quick!” He tried his best to sound worried, though he spoke with a smile on his face.

“What, why?” Aoba sounded annoyed, he had already been called for an emergency today and it was late.

“Noiz-san is hurt, we found him in an alleyway and I don’t think he’s breathing this time.”

 

 


	12. It's Better To Leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's just wish you luck?

His heart was beating faster than ever. Something was wrong and it was all his fault. Koujaku sprinted through the snowy streets, leaving Aoba and Mizuki lagging behind and shouting at him to slow down. Sure, they wanted to get there was fast as they could but they needed to go faster. He needed to be faster. His heavy breaths were coming out fast and sporadic, and he felt as if his legs were going to give out any second. The adrenaline pushed him. The sheer panic and guilt he that was pooling deep in Koujaku’s stomach was enough to urge his body on.

The winds angrily whipped his face, shoving the frozen water into his eyes to blur his vision. None of this was enough to stop him. He regretted letting Noiz walk out that door. He regretted being so mean to him. He regretted everything. The hospital was in view now, at least a little bit. The lights bright like a large beacon in the middle of the city.

Before Aoba and Mizuki could catch up, Koujaku burst through the doors to the Emergency Room where Virus and Trip promised to meet them. He looked back and forth, trying to get a glimpse of the duo but they were nowhere to be found. Koujaku involuntarily let out a low growl and moved to sit in the waiting room until the stragglers came in. A few minutes later, Aoba and Mizuki shuffled into the emergency room, out of breath and panting like animals. Koujaku shot up from his seat and stepped towards his friends, leaning over them eagerly. The three of them ignored the irritated and confused looks they got from the secretary behind the desk.

“How may I help you?” She asked, pushing any sort of sarcastic remark or question aside so she could properly do her job. The group looked at her, anxiously turning to look at one another before they said anything like they were afraid to speak up.

“How may I help you?” She repeated, tapping her pen on the desk as if it would get their attention.

“We’re here to see-”

“Aoba-san?! You made it!” a panicked voice cut him off, making the three of them turn to see the previously missing-in-action men. Virus’ face was covered in fear and panic while Trip remained serious looking, his stoic expression was nearly unreadable.

“Virus!” The three of them said in unison.

“They won’t let us go see him yet, but I was told they got him to start breathing again so that’s a plus.” Virus’ words were enough to bring absolute fear to his friend’s faces. They were all worried but that seemed like the worst case scenario. It was like one step above being dead on arrival. Koujaku was speechless for the second time within twenty four hours. There was no way this was happening.

“What happened!?” Koujaku growled, glaring at Virus and Trip like he knew it was their fault.

“Well, we kept our bar open because we didn’t think the snow would be a big problem.” Virus stiffened, clearing his throat before he continued. “I decided we should close up early because it had gotten particularly worse than anyone had intended. We were on our way home when Trip said he heard a quiet groan from the alleyway we were walking by.” The emotion returned to his face, like he planned out this story and he was dramatically retelling it. “then we saw him just…...just lying there.”

“Like a sad, bloody snowcone.” Trip muttered, much too low for anyone but Virus to hear. The shorter blond knitted his eyebrows together and stomped on Trips for to punish him for saying such thing out loud.  

“So much.” He stared down at the dirty, tiled floor of the waiting room, sounding like he was fighting back tears, “There was so much blood when we got there, it is a miracle they got him to breathe again.”

The room was quiet. No one else was in the waiting room tonight, leaving them to the sound of each other’s breathing and the occasional tap of the pen from the secretary. No one knew what to say. They were all scared. There was a point where Noiz had stopped breathing and that scared Koujaku. What if that point happened while he was still unconscious in the snow? What if the doctors never got to him in time? There were too many questions Koujaku kept asking himself but he was too afraid of the answer to want to think about it. He glanced around the room, eyes trying to meet someone else’s, silently begging someone to say something.

“It was Rhyme, wasn’t it?” Aoba finally spoke. His tone was quiet, afraid even. He looked towards Virus and Trip, who only shrugged.

“Rhyme does this to you?!” Koujaku wanted to yell, but his voice only came out in a loud whisper like he was scared to hear his own voice. Aoba nodded.

“There’s a lot of restrictions on Rhyme to prevent things like this, but Noiz is…..” He took a deep breath and took that time to think about how to word what he wanted to say, “reckless and chooses to take off a lot of those protections and challenges people.”

“Why would he….why would he do that? Why? Why would he do that?!” Koujaku grabbed Aoba’s shoulders and shook him with every why that came out of his mouth. Aoba stared at him, confused by his best friend’s actions. He had never felt this concerned over someone, especially Noiz. This just further concluded his suspicion that Koujaku was in love with him and just hadn’t realized it yet.

Aoba grabbed Koujaku’s arm and dragged him away from the other three. They stood in the opposite corner of the waiting room, silently thanking everyone on the island for being anywhere but here.

“Before the fall of the tower, Noiz always played Rhyme.”

“Yeah and he was the asshole who challen-” Aoba narrowed his eyes and held a finger up to Koujaku’s lips to silence him.

“No words until I’m done.” The old man nodded in response to respect his wishes. “Before the fall of the tower Noiz always played Rhyme.” He repeated, “But he only did it because he couldn’t feel pain in real life. He told me he played Rhyme because pain was inside the brain and at least then he could get a basic understanding of what the feeling actually was.”

“While we were in the Oval Tower, I had to Scrap with him and” Aoba shut his eyes, wiping them slowly as he remembered what he saw during his Scrap with Noiz. “H-his parents they...they locked him in a room because they thought he was a monster, Koujaku, they just forgot he existed.”

“Aoba, if you aren’t comfortable saying this, you don’t have-”

“No, you need to understand.”

“Okay, I trust you.”

“He stopped himself from feeling, Koujaku. He spent so much time wallowing in his own sorrow and self-pity, he taught himself to stop. noiz stopped caring how he felt because no one else did. Then I made him feel different, like he was normal. The scrap healed him and now he can feel pain but I showed him the worst pain and I wish so bad to take it back but I can’t now.” Aoba shook his head, feeling the tears starting to stream down his face. Koujaku panicked, watching Aoba break down like this in front of him. He wanted so badly to comfort him but he had no idea how. He just kept all of this guilt inside about Noiz and now he was just pouring his heart out to him.

“What did you do?” Koujaku managed to ask.

“He fell in love with me and I fell in love with him. I mean, I thought I did. Then I started to visit Mizuki and we had so much to catch up on, I didn’t even realize how much time had passed and how little I had been paying attention to Noiz. I hurt him when he thought he wasn’t going to be hurt again and he’ll never forgive me. I don’t expect him to.”

“Aoba, this isn’t your fault. It’s mine.” Koujaku put a hand on Aoba’s shoulder to try and console him. He had to stop himself from hugging him because he wasn’t sure the terms he was on with Mizuki after he kissed his boyfriend. He only nodded in response, wiping away the tears before they could drip off his face any longer.

* * *

 

What does nothingness look like?

People would just say, nothing. Nothing looks like nothing. In this instance, however, Noiz saw nothing. He was floating, lacking anything to hold him up. He just was. Darkness surrounded him, leaving him feeling lost in a foreign place. If he could speak, he would imagine his voice echoing back to him nonstop like an endless canyon. But he didn’t feel like he was in a canyon.

He felt like nothing. Noiz felt like he could do anything he wanted in the confines of this seemingly indefinite space but yet he couldn’t do anything. just hovering motionless in this enigmatic fantasy.  Why was he here? The vast space around him went on for light years yet he believed that he was nowhere at all. There were walls closing in on him as he began to hear disembodied, chaotic voices all calling to each other.

Noiz went to move his head in search of the voices’ owners but his neck felt stiff and stuck in place. Whatever they were saying to each other, Noiz couldn’t understand. It was just a constant sound of mumbles and shrieks, making Noiz flinch at every loud noise and clang of some object he was unable to see.

Suddenly, his body was overwhelmed by pain. He was floating peacefully in his outer-space-like world before he was angrily pulled back into the world he knew. A stabbing pain would piece his arms as he tried to pull away but was unsuccessful. It was like his body was pinned down in one place, something heavy was pressed against his arms, legs, and chest to keep him down. But he felt something flood his veins, knowing that whatever it could be was most likely bad for him, clogging up the space to stop the blood from flowing through him.

There was a moment where it did. Noiz was sure of it. The life-giving pumps from his heart started to slow. His breaths were growing weaker as he heard the slow heartbeats beat so loud his ears were practically ringing. It was like a countdown. Whenever countdowns get to the final ten seconds, everything gets more intense. Whether it’s a game show or the food in the microwave. The last ten seconds get your blood pumping, exciting you for ten seconds into the future. Noiz felt the opposite. It was like the final seconds were a warning, letting him know his time on Earth was up. Those last ten seconds were his last heartbeats, his final breaths, but he didn’t want them to be.

Noiz wanted to go back. He wanted to start over, reset the clock, do whatever it took to keep that clock from hitting zero. That hope failed him. As he watched his timer hit zero, his heart lay still in his chest as it had refused to rise again for another breath. He was done.

Dying wasn’t anything like Noiz expected. He thought there would be some great light shining in the sky, dragging him from his less than satisfying life on Earth. He would be taken somewhere beyond the sky, beyond space, beyond time and he would get thrown back like a fish. He never believed in Heaven. He had no reason to. Since when did anything religious benefit him? Never. Noiz figured the only thing that could happen after you die was you live. It was like a cycle. That’s why to him, it didn’t matter if he died. If he died, he didn’t expect anyone to cry. He figured it would be dumb to cry over someone who was just going to come back.

But he couldn’t have been any more wrong than he was. There were no lights, no beacons, no living again.

Only dark.

* * *

 

“A coma?” Aoba tilted his head in confusion. He didn’t want to believe this but the doctor sounded completely serious. Why would a doctor lie anyway?

“Sir, we have seen similar cases to this before.” The doctor cleared his throat, glancing down at his clipboard before continuing. “There has been a rumor going around that Rhyme players have been forced into an absolutely non-restrictive game which does an enormous amount of damage to the brain and physically as well. This case is actually particularly interesting.”

“Why?” he prompted.

“Well this is the first case like this that we have gotten here with a living victim. We may need to hold him for questioning if and when he wakes up.” He bowed before turning on his heel to leave again. The five of them stared in silence towards the door, wishing the doctor could come back and give some good news. ‘If and he wakes up’ did not reassure any of them even the slightest.

“We really should get some rest.” Virus was the first to smile. He was surrounded by an army of somber expressions and less than positive attitudes. He knew why, but it just seemed odd to him.  

“And leave him here?” Koujaku objected, slamming his fist down on an imaginary table like a judge in court. He had to admit, he was exhausted. It was mainly because he sprinted a lot faster than he should have just to get here. No matter how tired he was, he wanted to be here. He wanted to see Noiz when he woke up and he wanted to apologize.

He regretted everything. Everything he said to Noiz before he left tonight was a mistake. He realized how much he cared for this man and it pained him to see Noiz on the verge of death. If only he wasn’t such a coward, Koujaku could have prevented this from happening. ‘I love you too’ was a simple thing to say, he hated that denied it. How stupid could he have been, how childish. Koujaku hated himself more than ever now. Noiz’s death would be on him, not Aoba, not his mother, not his father. It would be on him.

Koujaku couldn’t imagine what Noiz’s funeral would be like. As devastating as it was to lose him, he could only think of the turnout. After hearing how Noiz was treated, he doubted his parents would come all the way from Germany to attend his funeral. Koujaku didn’t want them to come. They spent years making Noiz feel nothing but dead inside. His parents did not deserve to say their final goodbyes. They got rid of the chance the moment they locked their son’s bedroom door.

“He’s right.” Aoba yawned sadly. He didn’t want to leave Noiz either but he was on the verge of passing out and sleeping on the waiting room floor was not a very delightful option.

“What?” Koujaku angrily questioned, obviously not giving up his idea to stay.

“Koujaku, you need to get some sleep and the snow stopped. We should go.”

“But Aoba I-”

“Please don’t be difficult.” Aoba groaned, earning smile from Mizuki as he watched the two bicker, shaking his head.

“Aoba.” He protested again. Aoba could see in his eyes that he was desperate to stay. There was no way he could change his mind unless they all tried to carry him out together. Even so, once they left him alone he would find his way back here. The blue-haired man had to stop himself from reminding his friend of his previous words, stating that he could not care less about Noiz. Yet here he is, begging basically on his hands and knees to stay at the hospital just in case he wakes up. Aoba sighed in defeat and utter exasperation, giving up his futile attempts to get Koujaku to go home.

“Fine. Stay. Just be careful, okay?” Aoba smiled weakly towards Koujaku as if to say, ‘good luck, tonight,’ which made the Old Man’s heart leap in his chest. He only nodded in return, watching the two couples walk out the doors of the hospital. Slumping down on one of the chairs in the waiting room, he glanced at the clock.

11:03

The little red hand was ticking by slowly -- much slower than usually -- making Koujaku groan irritably practically begging the clock to move quicker. It didn’t listen. The clock continued to tick one second at a time, dragging the other hands around with it. At one point, Koujaku could have sworn the clock wasn’t moving at all. It was only still.

At 12:15, Koujaku realized that he had been staring at the wall for just over an hour. His eyelids were heavy, attempting to carry him to sleep but he fought his urges. He did not want to sleep until he saw him. Well that and the chairs in the waiting room weren’t very comfortable. They were wooden with thin, foam upholstery and a plastic, maroon covering. The chairs were like any typical medical center, uncomfortable and disappointing. It also did not help that all the chairs were connected by the legs and armrests, making it almost impossible to find a good position to sleep in. Koujaku knew the chairs weren’t meant to be slept in but he couldn’t help but feel irritated that he couldn’t.

Nonetheless, he started nodding off. He blinked slowly, glancing up at the clock once more. Koujaku could have sworn it said 1:48 but he could have been off a little. That was the last he saw before his eyes shut tight, taking him into unconsciousness.

“Excuse me sir?” A man cleared his throat, making Koujaku jolt awake. He wasn’t normally a light sleeper, maybe it was the chairs and the odd position he was in. He blinked his eyes quickly, adjusting his eyes to the bright lights again. The man who stood before him was the same man they spoke to before, dressed in a white coat and holding a clipboard.

“Yes?”

“Uh, the patient you are here for is stable. If you want to see him, you may.”

“.....Is he?” Koujaku heard himself ask.

“Unconscious? Yes, I’m afraid.” The doctor saw the frown on Koujaku’s face and glanced back down at his clipboard. “Though he could be aware of some things around him, you could try talking to him if you wish.”

“Please?” The doctor only nodded, signalling for Koujaku to follow him. The hallway was brighter than the room he was in before. He expected to see doctors and nurses rushing from one hallway to the next, pushing patients from room to room for a multitude of procedures. But there was nothing. The hallway remained empty and silent, like Noiz was the only emergency of the night. The walk from the waiting room to Noiz felt endless. Koujaku was getting impatient each time he heard the click of the doctor’s expensive looking dress shoes on the linoleum floor.

He finally stopped in front of the final door in the hall, Room 298. Koujaku eyed the door, shifting his weight to his other foot to try and get a better look in the small door window. The room was dark. The only thing he could spot where Noiz’s feet which laid unmoving underneath the thin hospital blankets. The doctor had retreated back to his office, leaving the Old Man to visit privately.

As he lifted his shaky hand, a wave of nervousness overcame him. What was he going to expect? He never saw the broken, mangled state of his body. He never got to see exactly what happened. The only thing he found out were that this was a result of a serial murderer who used Rhyme as a weapon to attack innocent passersbys and that he was bleeding a lot before he got to the hospital. At least that’s what Virus had told him. Koujaku never really trusted him, he knew better than to fully believe a yakuza.

His hand was gripping the doorknob yet he could not bring himself to turn it. As badly as he wanted to check up on him and apologize, he just couldn’t. He knew he had to, but he was too weak. Koujaku did not want to see Noiz like that. He knew now why he had been dreading to see him. It was his fault. The man he realized he loved was hurting because he was too selfish and stupid to tell him sooner.

With a deep breath, Koujaku opened the door wide enough for him to step through, closing it behind him softly. He had to do this. He approached the bed, unable to look at his face. Instead, he focused on the monitor standing proudly next to his bed, repeating the same beep to show he was breathing properly. It was a pattern as it always should be but Koujaku couldn’t help but be fascinated by it. The beep soothed him, telling him that Noiz was living.

He knew he had to look. When he did, he visibly winced at the sight. All he could imagine was seeing all of his bandaged up injuries all opened up and bleeding. He pictured the bright red snow surrounding him, soaking up the pool of blood that was trying to form around his body.

But now he looked peaceful. A large, white bandage was wrapped neatly around his head. There were smaller bandages on his arms, especially his shoulder. It looked as if it was nearly torn off. The rest of his was covered by the blanket, but Koujaku was almost certain that there were more injuries than the ones he was able to see.

Noiz looked so broken but peaceful at the same time. Despite looking like he had been torn to shreds, he lay asleep. Koujaku looked down, spotting a clipboard hooked to the foot of the bed. He curiously picked it up, finding a detailed description of the patient.

_Patient #4800158_

_Name: Wilhelm ???_

_Age: 20_

_Reason for Admittance:_

_Patient was brought in in critical condition. Had to be operated on immediately. Severe blood loss. Serial Rhyme victim._

_Treatments:_

_Left shoulder, stitches (x-rays necessary) looks like a bite and maybe even a burn_

_Full body X-rays to check for organ damage: See right side_

_Multiple stab wounds: right hand, right side, left thigh_

_most likely needed for immediate brain surgery to stop rhyme damage_

There were multiple x-rays paperclipped together behind the paper he was reading. He was no doctor but nothing in those x-rays looked okay. Koujaku looked up at Noiz again and noticed the big scar on his stomach that he has not yet seen. The next page was an x-ray of Noiz’s brain. It was a mess. There were gray blobs squished inside of his skull. It was confusing to look at, really. He had no idea if it was normal or not, but the red writing on the side told him differently.Something was wrong in there and it was probably bad. There were more than three asterisks by whatever the doctor wrote so it was a priority. God, how he hated doctors’ handwriting sometimes. There was no way any human could read those damn words.

He stepped back from the clipboard, watching the younger man sleep. The slow rise and fall of his chest reassured Koujaku, showing him that the beeps of the machine are right and he was breathing after all. Virus had told them earlier that the doctors got him to start breathing again. At some point, the injuries had been too much for him and his heart gave out. Koujaku imagined what would have happened if his heart stopped sooner. It would have been too late to bring him back, Noiz would be gone and it would be all his fault. He hated thinking so negatively. Everyone always looked to him for positive reassurance, but no he is feeling exactly how he tries to keep others from feeling.

_“Koujaku-saaaaaaaan! I tried making you a pie,” The woman stood before him with an absolutely horrid looking thing in a pie tin. Just the look of it was utterly atrocious, he could only imagine what it would have tasted like. She stared down at the pie with a frown, “I’m sorry you can’t eat it though. I’ve never baked anything before.”_

_“That’s alright.” Koujaku chuckled, smiling warmly to ease her frown into a smile as well, “With a little practice, I bet your pies will be delicious.” The woman beamed, squealing with joy as she clapped her hands together, dropping the pie on the ground where it actually belonged._

That Koujaku. The Koujaku that was nice, warm, friendly. That was everything he was not at this moment. He was nervous, withdrawn, and panicked. He just wanted Noiz to wake up.

“Uh, Noiz?” He started, remembering the doctor telling him that he may be able to hear him speak. It was like he was only asleep. “I’m really sorry this happened. It’s all my fault, I know. There is no way I think I can make it up to you other than apologizing. How I handled the situation was childish and I regret every word i said to you tonight. If, by any chance, you can hear this I hope you still feel this way when you wake up.”

“I was wrong, Noiz.” He swallowed, “I do love you and I think we should just try. I know we get on each other’s nerves but I would really be devastated if something bad were to happen to you. I’m devastated now. Whoever did this to you, I’ll find them Noiz, for you.” Koujaku walked from the foot of the bed to the side, easing himself closer to the blond’s face. He felt his hand brush against Noiz’s cheek and he felt something. He could have sworn he felt Noiz’s body twitch from the touch.

* * *

 

Soon enough, the thumping sound returned to his ears and his eyes fluttered open. He was still floating but this time there was light. Something bright was shining over him, something far away. The light danced and glittered across the ceiling of his mind, like it was beyond his reach. It was almost like he was submerged in water and he was watching the sunlight bounce between the waves. It wasn’t the same, Noiz felt completely dry, there was no way he could be underneath the sea. He was breathing, knowing well enough that he could never breathe under water before.

So reincarnation is a thing, Noiz thought. But it was still odd to him. He remembered everything of his past life, yet here he was as a fish. He blinked, feeling his body slowly sink further down, away from the sunlight. Noiz reached his hand forward, like he was trying to grab the brightness and drag it down with him. He felt as if he had a goal to break the surface of the water.

He wasn’t a fish. Noiz was still Noiz. When he opened his eyes, he spotted his hand, human as it had been before. He opened his mouth to speak, yet nothing came. Soon enough, a low, garbled voice filled the air. Whatever the voice was saying, he still could not hear it. It sounded nothing like anyone he has ever known either.

Noiz hated this feeling. The feeling of helplessness. It made him believe he was weak. He couldn’t even escape the water, he didn’t know how to swim. That’s when it made sense. He needed to overcome his weaknesses to end this feeling.

Whatever was holding him back, anything drowning him had to be overcome so he could float. He needed to get rid of any unneeded stress and pressure he was putting on himself so he would rise instead of fall. Every word he clung to, every moment he engraved in his mind, every person who tore him down had to be broken. He had to demolish the thick walls he worked so hard to build up.

The ropes tied around his wrists and ankles carried heavy, concrete cinder blocks, pulling him down faster than before. The seemingly endless depths he was falling into were closing in on him, denying him from the light he so hopelessly wanted to grasp.  

Everything he hung onto felt like a knife in his chest. One could only live so long with hundreds of knives plunged into his chest. Nobody wanted to live in the constant throbbing pain like Noiz did. He felt those knives everyday, digging deeper and deeper into his chest, just barely missing his heart. He was just waiting to feel that fatal stab, he even thought it was the words Koujaku spoke to him. But they weren’t.

One by one, he had to rip those knives out and lick his wounds. Once he did that, all he had to do was heal. This could be his chance, or it could be his last breath. He had a choice and he thought long and hard about each potential path, knowing that either one would take guts to do.

The first choice was to heal. He would get out of these concrete restraints and float. Noiz would make it to the surface, waking up from this awful slumber and move to make things right with the people he cared about. That meant Koujaku, that meant Aoba, that meant his parents. He could say all day long that his parents meant nothing to him, but at one point in his life, they were his whole world and he was theirs.

Then there was the other choice. Give up. Right now, he could choose to just drown. He could allow everything he kept inside to pour out of him, dragging him further and further back into the darkness where he once was. It was up to him.

He could live.

Or.

He could die.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm way too tired to edit this, when I have time possibly this week I'll go through and correct things from the last few chapters.


	13. When I Wake Up

“Do you think they know?”

“Not a clue.” Trip laughed, shooting virus a knowing smile. The two stood in the spot where they had been when they challenged Noiz. It looked absolutely fine, no attempted murders took place here, at least that’s what it looked like. The duo sat together on large crates, basking in the success of their plan.

Once Noiz woke up, he was to be sworn in as an official member of Morphine. Sure, they tricked him into joining, but it was too late for him to back out now. They sat, enjoying each other’s company in a comfortable silence. It was different to actually believe that Virus was happy with Trip’s presence. They never just sat together, doing nothing. It was out of the ordinary for them, but they had nothing to do today.

The day was nice, sure it was chilly out but it hadn’t snowed since that night. The bothersome substance was shoveled off the sides and out of the way. It was starting to look ugly, the once delicate white blanket was now mountainous and brown. It was a distasteful looking brown too, it was almost gray and dirty looking.

The silence eventually started eating away at them, no longer feeling comfortable. It was as if they both wanted to say something but neither of them wanted to break the silence between them. It was like they were dancing around asking one question in particular that was on both of their minds. They didn’t want to think about it. They didn’t want to question it.

“What if he forgets?” Trip finally spoke up. It had been the question they both wanted to avoid. Sometimes, when people wake up from comas, they forget some of their memories. It could be many memories or only a few. It would be just their luck that he forgets about them.

“Well he most likely won’t remember how he got injured, but I can’t say that he’ll forget about us completely. Maybe we could still convince him when he wakes up.” They could just as easily talk to him. They could tell him that he had always been a part of Morphine, he just didn’t remember. That would be easy enough. And if he remembers everything, then they had a deal.

“Sounds like a plan.” Trip nodded, standing from his seat.

“Where are you off to?”

“To the florist, I have some business to take care of.”

* * *

 

There really weren’t any words to describe how tired he was at this moment. After spending some time with Noiz, he finally decided it was best to return home for a while. He didn’t know how he managed to stay awake for so long but he silently congratulated himself as he walked back to his house. It was warmer now, like the snow and cold only fell to further Noiz’s misery. Though there was still inches of snow covering the ground, it was surprisingly less windy than it had been for the past few days. It was early on in the winter season, meaning the worst has yet to come in terms of the weather.

In terms of events, he hoped that was the worst of it. Koujaku didn’t know if he could handle any more tragedy for the year, or for his life time. Losing Noiz completely would be more than a tragedy. It would be an absolute devastation. He recalled telling Noiz that he loved him. He had no way in knowing whether or not he actually heard his words, but he only hoped. That’s all he could do now. Everything was out of his hands.

It had never dawned on him until now that maybe Noiz did not want to wake up. He remembered what Aoba told him.

_“H-his parents they...they locked him in a room because they thought he was a monster, Koujaku, they just forgot he existed.”_

Hearing those words echo in the back of his mind made Koujaku sick. He knew he did not have the best childhood or relationship with his dad…..or his mom. But there was never a point where they completely isolated him from the world, making him feel like nothing. He did that on his own. Noiz wanted to see the world, he wanted to feel the world. He already felt trapped and isolated by the fact that he was different than other children, but then his parents locked him away. Koujaku knew he would never fully understand what Noiz went through but he wanted to be there for him to make sure he forgets.

_“No, you need to understand.”_

He tried and tried but it didn’t feel right. Each time he told himself that he understood Noiz’s pain, it felt wrong to him. He knew it wouldn’t be the same. No one understood Noiz but Noiz.

_“He stopped himself from feeling, Koujaku. He spent so much time wallowing in his own sorrow and self-pity, he taught himself to stop. Noiz stopped caring how he felt because no one else did. Then I made him feel different, like he was normal…”_

Koujaku needed to make Noiz feel normal again. He needed to make Noiz realize that he wasn’t the outsider he always believed he was. He was just as good and special as everyone else was, maybe even more. There shouldn’t be a reason for him to hide all of his emotions anymore. There shouldn’t be a reason for him to crave pain anymore. He deserves to feel everything great. The happiness one gets when they spot the person they love in the middle of a crowd. The anxiousness one gets while waiting to propose to the one they love. That ecstatic feeling one would get when they get their dream job or do what they love. It could be anything. Every positive feeling, Noiz deserved to feel it.

_“He fell in love with me and I fell in love with him.”_

Koujaku did fall in love with Noiz. Though he never expected nor intended to. It just sort of happened. It had to be something on that roof that night. When the two of them opened up a little about their lives. Neither of them judged the other, knowing that their life wasn’t perfect either. They just got each other then. Maybe they still did.

* * *

 

_“Wilhelm, please listen to me.” The child did not stop crying. He had been trying so hard not to cry anymore but this time he couldn’t help it. A few days before, he heard his mother call for Theo on the other side of the door. He desperately wanted to call out to his brother for help, maybe now he could understand and unlock the door. He was eleven now, not that it mattered to anyone. Today was his birthday. His tutor was relentless, trying everything and anything to get him to stop bawling. “Honey, it’s your birthday, please smile.”_

_He couldn’t give her a smile. She was the only human interaction he got but she rarely ever made him happy. He didn’t need human interaction, did he? His tutor brought him a small cupcake from the kitchen with a small, green candle pressed into it. Noiz could tell her smile was faltering, the corners of her lips twitched like she was forcing her happiness for too long. He could tell she would rather be anywhere but here._

_“I don’t care.” He spoke, emotionless. His once tear-stricken face was now dry without a single trace of his previous state. Tears were pointless, he knew that. It was weak of him to start crying again. Why cry if you were the only one around to wipe your tears? Sounds pretty pathetic if you asked him._

_The woman was taken aback, staring at the child in disbelief. He….he did not care about his own birthday? The boy had just turned eleven yet he is staring at her with uncaring eyes, green irises piercing into her very being, frightening her to the point where she had to take a step back._

_“Why would I care about my birthday, no one else does.” He continued, watching the smile finally fall from the woman’s face. She knew it was true. She had to beg his mother to allow her to bring the cupcake into his room. His mother had forgotten too._

_“I care.” She spoke up, shoving the cupcake at him again._

_“That’s a lie.” His words were so cold, yet his face read no emotion whatsoever. It was as if he snapped his fingers and became a robot. His chest was now filled with metal and oil instead of blood and a heart. But it was the beating inside his chest that could prove otherwise. He was still human inside._

_“Wilhelm, I care about you.”_

_“How much does she pay you?”_

_“What?”_

_“Mother.” He rolled his eyes, knowing that his question was obvious, she was just avoiding the answer._

_“That’s uh…..that’s not important.” And with that, he laughed. It wa a loud, mocking, shudder-inducing laughed like he knew he had been right the entire time. He was laughing because he knew the only reason why people talked to him was for something in return. She was only here for his mother’s money, not for him, not for his birthday. She didn’t care any more than his own mother did. No one cared._

Noiz blinked again, returning to the watery substance he remembered. That memory was something he never expected to forget. He had to forget. That woman was out of his life and that’s all that mattered. It no longer mattered how much she was paid and how much she cared about him because Noiz didn’t care about her anymore.

With a deep breath, he pushed the memory from his mind, hoping for it to never return again. The concrete pulling down his left arm started to crack, like it was falling apart. He was making progress. Noiz had to keep going, so he closed his eyes again.

_The room was filled with an all too familiar beep. He was dressed in the typical green hospital gown, laying in a flat, thin hospital bed, toes barely reaching the footboard. He had grown quite a bit from when he was five, but that had been years ago._

_Other than him, the room was empty. The television remained off and remote much out of reach. The windows closed and locked, like they knew he would jump if he had the chance. He was tired, though he had only just woken up._

_Why was he in here? He looked around, hoping to find signs and answers but everything was carefully put in place, as neat as it could be. Noiz was dragged out of his thoughts when he heard the sudden click of heels getting louder with each step, walking closer and closer to his room._

_The door creaked open and a woman in a long white coat approached the bed. She smiled at him warmly but said nothing. He watched her every move ever so intently as she picked up the clipboard by his bed and studied it, furrowing her eyebrows once she turned the page._

_“Good Afternoon, Wilhelm.” the smile reappeared on her face. She was so chipper, so friendly it confused him. Why was she being so nice to him? She had no reason to. He was just another patient, why did she have to act like that towards him. He just didn’t get it. “How are you healing?” She tilted her head to the side as if she was trying to look for something._

_He looked down, noticing his arms were covered in tiny little scratched and a multitude of bandages ranging from very small to a very big one on his forearm. What happened? It all seemed like a blur to him. All he remembered was crying on the corner of his bed and seeing red. He did not recall anything else, nor did he know how long ago that happened. It could have been last night or it could have been weeks ago._

_“Where’s mother?” He found himself asking, bringing a small frown to the nice doctor’s face._

_“She hasn’t shown up ever since she dropped you off here.” She sighed, “Maybe she is just really busy, she’ll come by soon enough. I bet she will be happy to know you are recovering.”_

_His mother never did come to visit._

 

* * *

 

Koujaku couldn’t take it anymore. He had stayed away from the hospital for two days. He had barely gotten any sleep despite being beyond exhausted a few nights ago. He was anxious, always finding himself pacing back and forth, convincing himself that there was no further need to go to the hospital again.

It turned out, he couldn’t stop thinking about him. He thought about Noiz every waking moment of the day. He dreamt about him when he was asleep. Koujaku had to see him again, just to check up on him. Is he doing alright? Is he getting worse? He just had to go there and find out.

He knew the route from his house to the hospital by heart, though he had only traveled that path a handful of times. His heart raced as he opened the hospital doors, spotting the secretary looking up at him patiently.

“Hello, sir.”

“Good Afternoon.” Koujaku smiled warmly at the lady, trying to hide his anxiousness.

“Who are you here to see?”

“Noi...erm, Wilhelm.” The sound of that name was so odd and foreign, it was difficult to hear it come out of his mouth. Noiz was Noiz, it didn’t matter what his old name was.

“Room 298.” Koujaku knew that, he didn’t need to ask but the woman was only doing her job. He smiled, bowing his head slightly in thanks and started down the hallway. The hallways were bustling, just like Koujaku had imagined them to be. There were nurses chattering about patients, doctors in green robes and surgical masks pushing injured people down the hall, it was organized chaos. Koujaku couldn’t imagine being a doctor, himself. He thought his hairdressing business as hectic but this was so much worse.

He was torn up about this one life, he could barely imagine what it would be like to be responsible for hundreds of lives on a daily basis. Though, Noiz was a more special than just some stranger but to him, a life was a life. If he couldn’t save it, he would be devastated.

Koujaku was approaching the room again. The end of the hallway was surprisingly quiet, like it had been forgotten about. No one dared walk by the last few rooms. It was weird, it wasn’t like they were going to wake him up. He opened the door to see the same thing he saw a few days ago.

He was asleep in the same position he had been earlier. The heart-monitor gave out it’s expected sound as he breathed. There was something different, but Koujaku didn’t know what it was. Noiz hadn’t moved, the sound was the same, the television was no playing, everything seemed so perfectly in place yet he could not help but believe that something was changed.

Koujaku noticed a glint of red out of the corner of his eye, making him turn on his heel to investigate the object. On the table sat a single, red carnation. He remembered seeing a flower that looked like this by Noiz’s hospital bed once before but it was blue. Aoba.  He had been here, bringing a flower unlike Koujaku. How could he be so stupid, coming here with nothing to give him?

“I’ll come back.” He spoke desperately, like he was begging Noiz t forgive him for not bringing flowers. “I’ll bring you a rose, every single day, how does that sound?”

* * *

 

_“What are those for?”_

Huh?

_“For my daughter.”_

Why this?

_“Why the roses?”_

_“She loved roses,”_

That as odd. Why did this memory flash before his eyes? He had no problem with this memory. Noiz had silently been replaying every moment he gripped onto in his mind so he could overcome those feelings. So far, they were chronological. This was different. It skipped ahead, like he was told to think of this.  

_‘Every time I got roses for my wife, I would get her one yellow rose and she would smile for hours. She was battling a heart disease for three years and every day I would bring her a white rose instead of the yellow ones. I don’t know why but i did and I’ve never stopped.”_

Every attempt to rid his brain of this unimportant memory was pointless, it played and replayed in his mind again and again, engraving it further into his mind as if it were telling him to never forget what that man told him. Eventually the image faded, bringing him back to the less than exciting.

_“You’ll never make it on your own, kid.” He heard a man scoff at him. He had no idea who he was, yet he was insulting him, a complete stranger, and his life decisions. He had to admit, he had a point. There was no way he could do this. Leaving home seemed like the smartest decision of his life. Now that he was actually away from home, he realized that he knew nothing about the world around him._

_Sure, he had a tutor to teach him basic things and he was quite smart in the first place. None of that really mattered in the real world. What mattered was people. Talking to people, spending time with people, understanding people. It was everything he had no idea what to do. He spent years interacting with next to no one and now here he was in a world filled with billions of people._

_As he walked towards the train station, he overheard  a man telling a woman that he loved her. All he could was shake his head, knowing that he was only saying that so he could sleep with her. Why else would he say something like that? It wasn’t like people were actually capable of being in love. True love like that didn’t exist._

_Whether it were for sex, money, power, people made up love to get it. Love was a way to make people vulnerable and to be taken advantage of. That’s why Noiz was strong. He didn’t fall for any of that. He knew better than that._

 

_“Kid, what’s your name?” The same man questioned him like he was being interrogated. He only laughed in response. No one had spoken to him since he left, it was weird to hear that someone wanted to know anything about him._

_“Wi…” He shut his mouth, knowing that people would know who he was if he said his real name. He looked part of the family and if he had the same name of one of their sons, it wouldn’t take people long to put two and two together. “Noiz.” He didn’t know why he chose to say that, it was just the first thing he thought of. That’s all he used to be. Noise. He was just a noise people chose to tune out and ignore. Now he was going to make sure no one ever ignored him again. The man didn’t question it either. He merely nodded and watched the man walk away and board the train._

Every memory, every moment went through his mind like a bullet train. Suddenly he saw himself at five years old, watching his mother lock him away from the life he knew. A blink of an eye later he was eighteen and walking out the door, escaping into the world he was absolutely foreign to.

The cracking sound was growing louder with each memory. The blocks tying him down growing weaker. Small chips of concrete were falling off the blocks, floating down into the darkness below. Noiz felt himself rising from the pit he was drowning in, but he couldn’t breathe just yet. It wasn’t too late to change his mind.

* * *

 

Aoba hadn’t seen Noiz for days. He had been dying to visit him. He knew he didn’t want to see him, so maybe it would be best to start his apology while he was asleep. It seemed cowardly, but every time he tried to talk to his friend, he shut him down and made him leave.

It was almost nine, leaving him only a few hours of visitation time. It was now or never. Aoba stomped down the road, hearing his heavy footsteps each time his boots hit the sidewalk. He was nervous but he knew he had to see Noiz, he had to make things right.

The inside of the hospital was bright , fluorescent lights lined the ceiling leading from the lobby down all the halls. The lady sitting at the desk seemed busy, but he had no idea where Noiz’s room was. He approached her, clearing his throat awkwardly to try and get her attention. She looked up with a smile at the blue haired man.  

“How may I help you?”

“Uh, I’m h-here to see Noiz?” She gave him a perplexed look before looking towards her computer monitor to search for said patient.

“I’m afraid I don’t know who you’re looking for.”

“Erm, maybe he’s listed under his birth name.”

“And what is that, sir?” He drew his eyes away from the woman, staring down at the floor in confusion. What was his real name? He could have sworn it had been said to him before, but he just couldn’t think of it.

“I...don’t” He shook his head, looking as if everything he knew was now a lie. “.....know”

“W-well, when did he arrive here and why?” She spoke calmly, trying to get the man in front of her to stop panicking.

“He was admitted here a few nights ago, something about a Rhyme incident.”

“Oh. Room 298.” A wave of relief washed over him when she told him this. He would have honestly been devastated that he made it all the way here to apologize and he couldn’t even remember his name and have to leave.” He sprinted down the hall like he was a doctor on his way to perform surgery. The room looked familiar even though he had never even been to this side of the building. It was much smaller than the rooms upstairs but coma patients usually didn’t get as many visitors as other patients.

The first thing he noticed when he walked in was the bright , crimson carnation sitting on the bedside table. It was beautiful. whoever picked it out had cared about him very much. The first person he thought of was Koujaku. It was red, his signature color and it was picked out with care. Koujaku was in love with Noiz and Aoba knew he wouldn’t be able to stay away for very long before he lost all self control and went to see him again.

_"What are you doing here!?"_

Aoba remembered being shocked when he saw Noiz sitting in his bed. Earlier that day he had acted so coldly towards him, he never expected him to be taken up on his often, let alone the same day.

_"You told me to come over."_

_"Yeah, but usually you would knock first."_

_"I knocked."_

_"Okay, but you still wait for someone to answer the door."_

_"But I knocked."_

Seeing Noiz himself was a different story. The expression on his face seemed so distraught and full of anger and pain. It was like he was dreaming of something awful. Aoba could imagine some of the things Noiz could be dreaming about and just the mere thought of them made him sick. He knew how his parents treated him and he knew that he had treated him badly as well.

A slight pang of guilt hit him again when he spotted all the scars on his body. There were no many marks on his body to forever remind him of the battles he was put through. That boy made it through so much, Aoba just needed him to make it through this.

There was a clipboard that was tossed onto the table next to the flower. All the writing on it looked like it was in a different language. Latin, maybe? Aoba shook his head, wondering why in the world would doctors write strictly in latin. He knew there were latin terms doctors needed to know but this was all new to him. He noticed the name was printed neatly on the blank line.

“Wilhelm…?” He heard his voice, but he could not match the name to Noiz’s face. So that was his real name.

_"You’re too clumsy."_

He heard his voice speak in his head.

_"It was your fault."_

Aoba remembered running into Noiz on the street.

_"So?"_

_"Ugh, whatever. How have you been Noiz? I haven’t been able to uh, see you in a while."_

He tried to stay his friend, but he just didn’t want him to. It didn’t mean Aoba was going to give up on that now. People change, and maybe now Aoba can get his apology in and be a better person to Noiz. Maybe he’ll forgive him. he could only hope.

_"Fine."_

Aoba could sense the bitterness in the man’s voice, knowing that he had no interest in further conversation, but he was desperate.

_"Where are you going?"_

_"Nowhere."_

_"Come on Noiz, you can tell me."_

_"Why should I tell you?"_

_"We’re friends aren’t we?"_

_"We are? Could have fooled me."_

Those words hurt him the most. Aoba knew he deserved to hear them, he deserved the sting those words left behind. It made him realize how hurt Noiz was after he spent time with Mizuki.

_"Noiz, look at me."_

But he didn’t.

_"Noiz!"_

He just started to walk away like they were strangers.

_"Noiz please just talk to me!"_

_"I did talk to you. What else do you want from me?"_

What else do you want from me?

What else do you want from me?

Aoba couldn’t help but replay those words in his head once they came out of Noiz’s mouth. He looked up at Noiz again, taking a deep breath, knowing this was the moment.

“Noiz, I’m sorry for everything. I know that the way I treated you the last time you were in the hospital was horrible and I don’t ever think I’ll even forgive myself for doing that to you. You may act like a kid sometimes but you’re strong, much stronger than me, maybe even Koujaku.”

“I know I am never going to understand what you went through but what I said to you in the Oval Tower was true. Living alone is no good, if you died I would be sad. I would cry. I would miss you so much. I realize how stupid I was, letting you get away from me and I hope that never happens again. “

“We still have to battle in Rhyme, I remember, I promised. I know you too well to just give up like this. Even when the odds are stacked up against you, you proved everyone wrong. When you were told you would never survive in the world, you showed them how wrong they were. Noiz, you have what it takes to wake up so please,” Aoba was kneeling by the side of the bed now, leaning over the sleeping man. Tears began to fall down his face before he could stop them, “Please wake up.”

* * *

 

_“Sway, sway, swaying between the waves. Sparkle, sparkle, sparkling, their voices drift into the distance.”_

Noiz heard a voice in the form of a song. He’s heard this before but not nearly as beautiful. He opened his eyes, seeing the light reflect off the surface once more, glistening and bouncing as the water above moved.

_“The dreaming jellyfish sing their song and sleep on the gentle shore.”_  

His body felt light. Despite being pulled down by heavy cinderblocks, he was feeling as if he was floating through clouds. He was afraid before, thinking only of the possibility of falling back into the darkness. He was at ease now, the words were taking him up, pushing him towards the surface so he could finally bask in the light he longed for.

_“Sway, sway, swaying a ray of light. Sparkle, sparkle, sparkling their voices drift to you.”_

A loud burst of rock filled his ears, drowning out the fine sound of the song. His left hand felt lighter. Noiz turned to look and saw nothing tying it down. The weight was gone, it had burst. Instantly, he felt a push upwards. He was still ways away from the surface but that was when he realized he wanted it. He wanted to feel the warmth of the light on his face. He wanted to feel something.

_“No matter when, as long as this song echoes out, in many colors, they hang in the sky.”_

Noiz started to feel his heart beating in his chest again. He no longer felt numb, there was something to feel. There was something other than sadness and pain. He could do it, he was strong enough. He had always been strong enough, he’d only figured that out now.

_“Sway, sway, swaying between the waves. Sparkle, sparkle, sparkling, their voices drift into the distance.”_

The cinder block on his other wrist began to crumble, but held onto the rope like it’s mission was to drown him.

_“The dreaming jellyfish play their song, sparkle, sparkle, sparkling, their voices drift to you.”_

The block gave out, freeing his arms from their restraints. All he had to do was pull himself up. The large blocks held firmly to his ankles, making his attempts to pull himself up useless. He had to destroy everything, that was the only way he will make it to the top. He had to break those stones or stop swimming.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got a busy few weeks ahead of me with school and whatnot, I'm going to try my best to make quick updates.  
> my tumblr is ruffrabbitz, if you wanna pester me to write faster :)


	14. Last Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some people get good news and other people aren't so lucky.

“Aoba, this is too important to talk about right now.” He sighed, “Please come over.” Koujaku fidgeted with the tiny object in his hands. It felt so foreign between his fingers yet he’s seen items like this everyday.

“Fine.” Aoba groaned, “but you have to come over my house, I had a lot of deliveries today and I’m tired.”

“Deal.”

“Bye, Koujaku.”

“Bye.” he mumbled, setting his coil aside. The object was returned back to it’s box where it belonged and into his pocket.

Koujaku felt empty these past few months. The winter was harsh, piling snow as high as a small automobile atop the freezing concrete sidewalks. It seemed as if it were some endless outpour of frozen rain sent to bury the island. As depressing as the weather was, Koujaku somehow was unphased by the cold. He was focused on the actual despair. Noiz has yet to wake up.

That did not stop the old man’s daily visits, however. Each morning before the shop opened, he would drop off a bright red rose and place it in a small vase with the rest. Though most had wilted and died, the nurse never removed them.

No matter the conditions, he made it a point to visit Noiz. Koujaku had to show him that he cared. All of those times he acted as if he could not care less, he wished he could take back. Koujaku wanted Noiz to be happy and would have done anything in his power to get him to wake up.

He talked to him. Sometimes when he stopped in the morning, he paused to say a few words. At first they came out in an awkwardly strung together sentence. Just the way the words sounded when they came out of his mouth made him cringe, hoping there was absolutely no way Noiz could hear the monstrosity he had just uttered. As the days went by, he got increasingly less nervous and was just able to talk to him without a second thought. Occasionally he would have spoke for well over an hour and had to apologize to the women waiting at his shop for being too late. They never did mind.

Finally, weeks went by. Those weeks turned to months with no progress. No updates from the doctors. Every time Koujaku asked, all he got was, ‘I’m sure he’ll wake up soon.’ in reply. He was tired of all the uncertainty. He just wanted Noiz.

* * *

 

Even when a clock is broken, it is still looked at for the time. The arms fixed in place, leaving those who glance in its direction clueless. This state of not knowing scares people. It keeps them from doing outrageous and courageous things. Each person is terrified of the time they have left, but there is nothing that will tell them how long they have remaining.

Instead, the unreadable face sits, watching the time tick by, but never shows it. Quite a poker face, life has. This feeling of time going by annoyed Noiz. The audible ticks sounding in his ears would taunt him, letting know one of two things. They could have served as a reminder that his life was going by, but also as a warning that his time was running out.

Everything was broken by now. Noiz had no idea what was holding him back. What was drowning him? He needed to break the surface and feel the precious sunlight dance across his pale skin.

He was back to feeling nothing at all. He was numb. Everything he had worked for to make himself better was for nothing. It only meant to return him to his original state. That feeling of thick rubber encompassed his body, making him feel heavier, like a bag of sand. It was no longer the memories that held him back, but himself.

Sure, he didn’t care about how others used to treat him anymore. He got passed that, he’d forgotten, he let them go. What he never faced, however, was how he treated himself. All those careless acts he had done when he figured he deserved it were now dragging him down faster than the concrete ever did. His mother was right, he was a monster. Not because he couldn’t feel pain, but because of the way he treated himself. Noiz acted as if he was always a monster, but he created one.

All those times he willingly lost a Rhyme match, he hurt himself. All those times he never bandaged up a wound, he hurt himself. All those times where he physically brought harm to himself, he hurt himself.

He never realized that he was his own demon.

* * *

 

The weather was much nicer now. The snow had long since melted and the flowers has already begun to bloom. It was late afternoon, but the sun shined bright as ever in the daytime sky. Koujaku walked casually  down the cluttered sidewalk in order to discreetly make it to Aoba’s house without being called upon by someone he knew.

The chaotic streets were difficult to maneuver through but he had to get to Aoba’s house as fast as he could. By the time his house was in view, the brightness of day began to fade into the wonderful colors of sunset, plastering the sky with shades of purples and oranges. A dim, yellow light shined from the upstairs bedroom as he neared the front door. With three quick knocks, Koujaku stood and waited for the door to open.

By the time it did, he saw Aoba leaning tiredly on the door, looking up at him with a weak smile. It had been stressful for him as well. As much as he tried to ignore it, he knew that Noiz’s hospitalization was his fault as well. He preoccupied himself with many work hours and time with Mizuki but each night before he slept he couldn’t help but feel that glint of guilt he had inside of him. Many times Aoba lost sleep to keep himself from having nightmares, watching Noiz die over and over again right in front of him.

“Aoba.” Koujaku started, nervousness and concern filled his voice noticeably which cause Aoba to perk up a little and smile wider in an attempt to hide his pain. “Can I come in?”

“Oh, right.” He shuffled over to let his friend in and stifled a yawn as he closed the door behind him. Koujaku wandered into the living room mindlessly as he went over the important news he wanted to deliver. He noticed Aoba seemed a little out of it and made it a point to ask him about it later. The two of them sat on the pale brown couch in silence. Koujaku was too nervous to speak, at first.

“Do you love Mizuki?” he blurted out. That was not how he wanted to begin the conversation, in fact he rehearsed what he was going to say over and over again. Aoba was torn out of his dazed state and shot a shocked stare at his best friend.

“Of course I do, why?” Aoba’s eyes narrowed, hoping this conversation wasn’t going where he was thinking it was headed.

“I...I was just asking.” Koujaku took a deep breath, “Because I think I know what that feels like.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Noiz.” They sat there for a few moments. Aoba just looked at him, unsure of his next words. He wasn’t sure if he was just extremely exhausted or he actually heard Koujaku imply that he was in love with Noiz. It would be only slightly surprising to him seeing as Koujaku hadn’t gone a day without visiting the blonde in the hospital since he was admitted. He knew they used to hate each other, but it felt different between them now.

“What about him?”

“I’m in love with him.” His answer came instantaneous, like he was waiting to be asked that exact question.

“Wow.” Aoba allowed himself to smile, feeling some sort of weight lift off his shoulders. He wasn’t sure why because it had nothing to do with him. Maybe he felt less guilty about Noiz because he wouldn’t be alone anymore. “He doesn’t know, does he?”

“He probably hates me now.” Koujaku’s face fell, remembering the last conversation he had with Noiz. When he confessed his love to him, he turned him away. It was because of his words that he ran off and got hurt. If Noiz ever wakes up, he wasn’t even certain he would forgive him or even believe anything Koujaku says.

“You don’t know for sure.”

“Yes I do.”

“How?” Aoba’s eyes were hopeful, but he watched Koujaku’s face fall even more. He hated seeing his friend like this. This was his chance to make Koujaku and Noiz happy.

“When I talked to him last, before the accident.” Koujaku looked away, not being able to look Aoba in the eye, “I told him I didn’t love him and then he left. He ran away and wasn’t going to come back Aoba. I hurt him too.” The word ‘too’ made Aoba cringe, remembering how he also treated Noiz. He felt horrible when Noiz went off and behaved recklessly but Koujaku had to have felt worse. He didn’t realize his feelings and made him run away, never to be found again. If Virus and Trip never found him, he could have been dead somewhere.

“Well you’re just making assumptions. You have no idea what it is going to be like when he wakes up.”

“If he wakes up.” Koujaku mumbled bitterly.

“When he wakes up. You’ll just have to have a serious talk about our feelings with him.” That’s when it got quiet. Koujaku dug a small box out of his pocket and held it up to Aoba. When he reached a shaking hand to open it, Aoba’s eyes widened. Only a gasp filled the air once he saw what was inside.

“I want to marry him.”

* * *

 

The next day, Koujaku walked to the hospital after he closed up the shop. Noiz probably wouldn’t hear what he was going to say  but he knew he had to practice saying this to his face. He knew it would be different with those piercing green eyes staring back at him, judging his every word. By now, the secretary knew he was coming and just waved as he walked passed.

She used to stare at the single rose he always carried in his hand.

The room at the end of the hall was too familiar to him now. He walked in, closing the door gently behind him as if he wasn’t trying to wake him. In all honesty, he wanted to opposite. He wished that’s all it had to take. One loud slam of the door to drag Noiz from his slumber. Nothing is ever that simple.

As he placed the new rose into the vase, he cleared his throat and prepared himself for the words to follow. He was running out of room in that vase. Koujaku told himself that Noiz would wake up before he could fill it. Noiz was running out of time to fulfill that.

“Noiz.” He began, moving his gaze from the vase to the man lying in the hospital bed. For months, he was in that very spot. It seemed odd to him to think that someone didn’t even move an inch for over one hundred days. His facial expression remained unchanged.

“I know you still can’t hear me but, when you wake up I…” He sighed, looking away from Noiz as if he was going to see the tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. “I want to marry you.”

Only silence filled the room. As cliche as it was, Koujaku half expected for his eyes to flutter open and tell him something sweet. He had told Noiz that he loved him every day he came to visit. For once, he wanted this to be like the movies. They usually ended happily and watchers could always look forward to that. This was absolutely different. This was reality and it wasn’t so promising at times. Things could change in the blink of an eye and never be the same again. Someone could say the wrong words and they could send someone out of their lives forever.

That was Koujaku’s case. Those last words he spoke to Noiz were powerful enough to get him to leave and not want to come back. He always imagined the worse and asked himself crazy questions. Did Noiz purposefully look for trouble or was he had the wrong place at the wrong time? Did Noiz want to die? Was this all his fault?

“You know I love you, Noiz. It still feels weird saying that out loud because I had always believed that I hated you. I don’t. Hate you, you know.” He laughed awkwardly, cursing himself for sounding so stupid. Feelings were difficult to convey. “I know you’re going to wake up. I just want it to be soon. Can you promise me you’ll wake up soon?” Obviously, there was no reply.

* * *

 

_Can you promise me you’ll wake up soon?_

Noiz heard a voice echo in the darkness. The water had receded but the light he had been reaching for faded. Everything was missing. This was finally it. Nothing was drowning him, nothing was pulling him down. Noiz could finally hear voices again. Somebody was telling him to wake up. At this point, he wanted to. He just didn’t know how.

His ears were suddenly filled with the beats of his heart, pulling him further and further from his dream-like state. He pushed and pushed, hoping to feel something like his arm moving or his body shifting, but there was nothing. Noiz felt like a stone that was unable to be moved.

That voice he heard was foreign to him. He tried to believe that he had heard that person before but he could not put a face to it at all.They were gone now, whoever it was.

Occasionally he would hear heels clicking one after the other towards him. They stopped once they got close to him. After a while they would sound again but got quieter as they went.

Noiz wondered where he was and why he couldn’t do anything. He was immobilized somehow but he was not able to figure out or why for that matter. He continued his attempts to move something, lift his eyelids, talk, something that wasn’t nothing. One time he could have sworn he gasped and his eye twitched but he never knew for sure.

It was like his body was filled with novocaine. The numbness he was feeling was getting insufferable and he grew more and more restless. Somehow he had to convince himself to wake up, he had no idea what was stopping him.

* * *

 

The woman walked casually down the sidewalks the next morning. She felt as if she was being followed but kept herself calm and was prepared to fight if she had to. It’s been months since she saved his life but she couldn’t help but wonder if there was something more to the story. The girl wasn’t one to pry into strangers’ lives but this one made her curious.

Ever since that story about the serial Rhyme players hit the news, she set out to protect those in danger. She had fought this man before. He seemed so self-destructive in a way and it worried her. The way he fought was odd, it was like he wanted to lose a non-restrictions game. That man had to have some sort of death wish.

The night of his accident, Calamity found herself wandering the abandoned streets in search of them. An anonymous tip came to her, telling her they would be on this side of town for the night. The man in green approached these two blondes in an alleyway and challenged them to a Rhyme match. Because it was a game with absolutely no restrictions and the fact that it was two against one, she was allowed to join. Good thing she intervened when she did or he would have been as good as dead.

Today was weird. After months of going on with her life, she kept herself away from searching for those two in the fear that they were hunting her down anyway. But as the days went on, the less she remembered about that day. It was in the past and she kept pushing forward as she always did. Today was different.

It had been the first day in a while where she felt like she was being stalked. No one was on this side of town this time of day, many people had jobs. The woman looked behind her and swore she saw a glint of blonde hair peeking out from the side of the building. It had to be those men. She stopped dead in her tracks and began to dig out her coil so she could catch these two.

“So it is you.” A voice from behind her sing-songed. As she turned, she was greeted by an odd-looking duo.

“It’s you.” Calamity smiled, trying her best not to show she was panicking.

“Where do you think you’re headed?” The smaller male asked, his sly grin eating away at every ounce of pseudo confidence the woman tried to muster.

“I don’t need to tell you anything you know.”

“I don’t think you understand the dire situation you put yourself into, young lady.” The larger man remained quiet but was equally as intimidating. It was like he was some sort of bodyguard for the other guy.

“What did I put myself into?”

“Trouble.” the tall man finally spoke. A man of few words.

“If the man in the hospital wakes up and doesn’t cooperate with us, we’re going to have a problem and a huge mess on our hands.” The woman took a step back away from the two men but they followed suit, taking a step closer as well.

“What do you want from him?” Her words took the two aback, they looked at each other like they did not know how to answer that question.

“Nothing too bad. He just made a promise to us and we are here to see that he keeps it.”

* * *

 

The next day went by slowly. The calm, spring breeze floated through the trees like children racing for an ice cream truck. Everyone was outside, the weather was impeccable. Koujaku took the day and spent it wandering the streets instead of opening up his shop. He didn’t know why but it felt right. With each step he took, he couldn’t help but think about the box in his pocket. It was small but it weighed him down like a boulder.

He didn’t want to carry it around anymore. All he wanted was for it to mean something. Koujaku imagined what it would look like on Noiz’s finger. It wasn’t anything special, just a silver band. He was hoping to get it engraved with something to make it more interesting but he couldn’t think of the right words to put on it. So there is remained in his pocket, unengraved and without a finger to be on.

As he wandered, he found himself nearing the beach. Because of the weather, there were a few people who had already began to attempt to tan. The sand looked calming and warm but he had too much on his mind to try and enjoy it now. He walked on, hearing the sound of his coil fill the air.

“Hello?”

“Uh, Mr. Koujaku is it?” a quiet voice spoke on the other end.

“Yes?”

“We need you to come to the hospital now.” the woman’s tone changed quickly. This was urgent. Without saying another word, he hung up and ran towards the hospital. This could be the day Noiz finally decided to give up.

Koujaku ran much like he did on the night of the accident. It felt pointless to hurry when the news was most likely going to be horrible. He had no signs of getting better, but then again he had no signs of getting worse. What if they called him there to ask if he should just let him go. Koujaku knew he couldn’t let Noiz go like that. No one was going to give up on him again.

As the hospital came into view, Koujaku felt his heart sink. The secretary at the desk did not even look up when he walked by. He didn’t say anything. All he could do now was walk to Noiz’s room and hope for the best. When he got to the door and stopped. As he placed a shaky hand on the doorknob he heard a voice call to him from the end of the hall.

“Koujaku!?”

“Aoba?”

“You got the call too?” Aoba got to the other end of the hall. His gaze met the door to Noiz’s room. He didn’t want to go in there either. Koujaku only nodded.

Without another thought, he turned the knob and went inside. There he sat in that hospital bed, staring up at the two men who walked in. It was confusing, at first he had no idea who they were but they looks familiar. On the table to his left, he saw a large vase sitting there filled with roses. Some were old and wilted but others were bright and alive much like he was. Looking back at the two men, he noticed they had been standing there quietly just staring at him. He wondered what sort of event occurred that made them make those awestruck faces.

“What is it?” Noiz felt the words escape his lips and the two turned to look at each other. “spit it out.”

“N-Noiz.” Koujaku started, approaching the hospital bed, “You’re awake.”

“Obviously.” but then his eyes narrowed, looking down at the pristine, white sheets, “How long have I been asleep Koujaku.”

He blinked, noticing that Noiz remembered his name. Koujaku never knew that something that small would be so exciting. His smile was difficult to hide.

“A few months.”

“What happened?” This time he turned to Aoba but didn’t address him by name.

“It was a Rhyme battle, do you remember?”

“I remember a colosseum, a snake, and a dragon but nothing more.” Aoba looked at Koujaku again and shrugged. Neither of them knew exactly what happened either but both were dying to know the details. At least they knew now that whoever the attackers were had a snake and a dragon Allmate. “There was a woman.” he perked up when he realized there was more he remembered. “I don’t know who she is, but she’s good.”

“What? Someone else was in the battle?” Aoba stepped closer on the opposite side of the bed, face covered in worry.

“That’s all he remembers.” Koujaku snapped.

“I remember things, just not from that night.” Noiz’s words hit Koujaku hard. What if he forgot confessing to him? He would find out exactly what happened eventually right? All he had to do was try and remember. Those memories weren’t lost forever. He still had to confess back to him whether he remembered or not.

It remained quiet again. The three shared quick glances at one another before shifting their gazes to something unimportant. None of them knew what to say next. Aoba desperately wanted to ask if Noiz remembered him but he didn’t want to press it. He never said Aoba’s name. Koujaku wanted to confess everything to Noiz but Aoba was in the room. Noiz wanted answers. He had been in this bed for months apparently and he could not even remember how he got there.

The last thing he recalled was his walk on the beach, thinking about something important. Noiz kept asking himself what he was thinking so deeply about that he had to go all the way to the beach to find answers for.

What hit him was the taller man’s face. He remembered calling him Koujaku, so that must be his name. If it wasn’t, he didn’t correct him. His name had a bitter taste coming out of Noiz’s mouth, so it had to have meant something. Each time he blinked he saw grains of sand slowly falling from between his fingers onto the ground below.

“The beach.” He mumbled to himself. Noiz was loud enough to gain the attention of the room despite his efforts to speak in a hushed tone. He was merely just repeating his thoughts. Noiz thought about Koujaku again. Every memory he had of him were bad, telling him that they were most likely enemies. That would explain the bitterness. But then he remembered sitting on the roof with him and talking about their lives and accepting each other. Who was this man to him?

The grains of sand came to mind again as he thought of the night. He was on his way to Koujaku’s house to tell him something, but what? For the life of him he couldn’t remember. That’s where his mind started to blur. There must have been conflict then. He knew all the things he did with Koujaku starting from the fall of the Oval Tower to the night he ended up here. The man’s voice sounded familiar to him. He had been hearing it in his dreams. The words were sweet, urging him to continue and that he was going to be waiting for him once he awoke.

Aoba checked the time and his coil, eyes widening once he realized how late it had gotten. He apologized, mentioning something about having to get to dinner or granny will be angry with him. As he left, the silence quickly returned, leaving the two of them in the uncomfortable quiet.

“Koujaku.” his hushed tone startled him.

“What?”

“Can you promise me you’ll wake up soon?” Noiz spoke those words slowly, watching the realization his the man in front of him.

“I..I didn’t think you would hear that.”

“You’re the one who had been talking to me all this time.” Koujaku nodded. “Why?” That question confused him, but he was shocked to know that Noiz had heard him. He began to wonder what exactly he heard.

“Because I wanted you to wake up.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to be able to tell you something.” That was when the memories flooded back. That night he went to visit Koujaku to tell him he loved him. That was the night his heart was broken by the man standing in front of him. Noiz’s eyes narrowed, looking back at him. He was his enemy after all.

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“Wh-what?” Koujaku gasped

“I don’t want to hear anything from you.” Noiz stared at Koujaku’s disappointed face and started to crumble. His face softened, knowing that he should just hear what he had to say. He had pushed many bad memories out of his mind, he might as well replace it with this one. “Fine, say it.”

Koujaku took a deep breath. He had said this millions of times before but never to Noiz’s conscious state. Even now he was already back to his old self which meant that he would have no mercy when telling him off once he was done. This had to happen no matter what. This had to be said.

“I have to say something that I should have said months ago. If I knew it then, none of this would have happened. So I would like to apologize first, that was all my fault.” Noiz only nodded quietly, waiting for the rest to be said before he responded. “I was with you the night you were admitted here, Aoba had to force me to go home. That probably sounds pathetic but I wanted you to be okay.I visited you every day and dropped off a red rose and put it in that vase. I don’t know why I started to bring them, I just did.”

_“Every time I got roses for my wife, I would get her one yellow rose and she would smile for hours. She was battling a heart disease for three years and every day I would bring her a white rose instead of the yellow ones. I don’t know why but i did and I’ve never stopped.”_

Noiz realized that was why he started to think about the man in the cemetery. He brought roses to his daughter when she was in the hospital and Koujaku did the same for him. He had been so jealous of that little girl, knowing that someone cared for her so much that he would take time out of his day every day just to drop off a pointless rose.

Something seemingly unimportant suddenly meant so much to him. All of those feelings he attempted to push away started to flood back. There was no way he stopped loving this man in front of him and that was what hurt the most. That small glint of hope was never squashed like he thought it had been.

Noiz wanted Koujaku to love him back but he knew what he said. Koujaku didn’t like him, he thought they were barely acquaintances. No matter how much he knew about him or how much he shared about himself, nothing could change the way Koujaku viewed him. He hated him, nothing more nothing less.

“Are you listening?” Noiz jerked his head back to face Koujaku, realizing that he started going on some long winded speech about something. He shook his head. “Well it wasn’t important. I just...Noiz I love you.”

He was taken aback by those words. The simple three words he never expected anyone to say to him were real. Noiz said it to Koujaku months ago but he had only recently realized he felt the same. It was strange to hear but it really happened.

Koujaku fumbled with the box in his pocket but he took it out. As he opened it, he watched Noiz’s eyes widen and latch to the item inside.

“Marry me, Noiz?”

  
  



	15. What I Do For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koujaku gets some good and bad news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy this one, I know I did.

Those three words were more surprising to Noiz than the first. There was no way he ever expected someone to want to spend their lives with him. He never even expected someone to want to spend the night with him. But here Koujaku was, sitting eagerly on the edge of his hospital bed awaiting an answer. Everything started to fall into place for him and it seemed odd.

How did all of these good things begin to happen to him? First, he woke up surrounded by people who were worried about him. Then Koujaku told him he was in love with him, and now he wants to marry him. Marriage had seemed for Noiz so far and unattainable for the longest time, he had just forgotten about it. Now the option came back to him when he least expected it.

“Yes.” Noiz finally responded, feeling as if he kept him waiting for too long. A smile crept across his face and his cheeks grew hot. Koujaku leaned forward, kissing Noiz gently on the lips. Noiz choked back a subtle gasp and pressed his lips against Koujaku’s, feeling his heart beat faster in his chest. The loud beeps on the monitor started to sound nearly sporadically as Koujaku crept his hand underneath Noiz’s hospital gown to graze across his pale chest. As they deepened their kiss, Koujaku groaned against Noiz’s lips, drowning out the world around him.

Being with Noiz was like being home. He had always lived life to please everyone but himself. Now here he was, creating happiness for himself as well as Noiz. Koujaku wouldn’t have admitted it earlier but Noiz made him happy. Originally, he did hate the kid. Every time he would talk to him, they would get into an argument or an an actual fisfight. Something changed in the that tower. He knew Aoba helped make it happen but it seemed so surreal for him.

Aoba was able to see the true pain he went through and guided him so he would never feel like that again. Soon after, he fell back into that horrible mindset and Koujaku didn’t understand enough to help him. After what happened on the roof, he understood a little more. But now it didn’t matter how much he didn’t understand. All he knew now was that he was going to try his best to keep that promise so Noiz will never feel that kind of pain again. Noiz will never go out and intentionally seek out pain and trouble again.

The door swung open quietly, followed by faint clicking heels on the linoleum. A woman cleared her throat, pulling Noiz and Koujaku away from each others’ lips. The color of her face matched Koujaku’s, red as the roses on the table.

“I guess this explains the sudden change of your heart rate.” She mumbled. Koujaku moved off the bed and shifted awkwardly between his left and right foot. “Apologies, sir, but visiting hours are over.”  

* * *

 

“He’s awake you know.”

“I’m aware.” The man responded, looking to his colleague. The two sat together at a small outdoor cafe to be inconspicuous. They knew the woman would try something again and she knew what they looked like now. For all they knew, the police could be after them. Virus calmly sipped his tea nonetheless, watching as Trip looked over his shoulder.

“You know what we have to do.” Trips words were stern as if he were the ones completely calling the shots.

“I’m aware.” he repeated, obviously more focused on enjoying the drink in his hand than the actual thing they gathered to talk about. It wasn’t anything fancy, just a normal herbal tea. What Virus didn’t want Trip to know was that he was unsure of how the situation would play out. This whole thing could easily crash and burn but they were in too deep to back out now. Backing out now would mean they were cowards. Morphine isn’t run by cowards.

It had been a few days since Noiz woke up and the two of them have been laying low ever since. There was no doubt that if they got into any sort of huge trouble, Toue would be able to get them out of it. Virus didn’t want to have to rely on powerful people to help him. He could handle it.

“What’s on your mind?” Trip pressed, hoping to get something different out of his partner. He had been acting strange ever since their confrontation with Calamity. It was odd of him because she was more scared of them than they were of her. They had the upper hand. They always did. Virus’ head snapped up and tore his gaze away from the simple, ceramic teacup in his hand.

“Nothing important, mind you Trip.” His smile reassured him, “What I am thinking is nothing of your concern.” Virus’ weak smirk told Trip otherwise. He was acting uncharacteristically nervous and in a way it made Trip uneasy. Was Virus actually scared of something? No, he was probably just reading him wrong. There was nothing off about him, Trip thought. It was just a smirk, nothing weak about it. Maybe he really liked the tea as well. “Shall we?”

“Hm?”

“To the hospital.” Virus stood, only to turn on his heel and head down the sidewalk. Trip called out to him suddenly, walking faster to catch up with him. His longer strides did not make it difficult to do so. There was some benefit for being taller.

The walk there was short, not even five minutes. Once there, they stood proudly in front of the secretary. She looked up at the two and tilted her head sideways as if she was trying to remember them from somewhere.

“Who are you here to see?” She questioned, gaze never leaving the shorter man. The way he carried himself seemed oddly familiar to her like she has seen him before. He stood up straight with a businesslike stance. Apart from his proper and even rich looking qualities, there was something off about him. The man’s smile was less than friendly to her. The taller man was also slightly familiar to her but was more intimidating than the other. Perhaps it was just the physical aspects that made him appear that way. His bigger build, strong-looking jawbone, and large, rough hands was enough to keep people from messing with him.

What the secretary didn’t know was Virus’ ability to destroy without his hands. He had said before he wasn’t one to fight like that. He could get what he wanted by other means. There were ways he could get information out of people and items from places without getting caught. That would always go unnoticed by the average person and that’s what pleased him. Virus knew his incognito crimes were vile but there was no way anyone could ever figure out it was him.

Trip was always the one to get his hands bloody in order to get things done, but only if it were necessary. He was prepared no matter what. It was sort of like a backup plan. He was smart, that’s why Toue was interested in him. In the past, yes, he did cause a lot of pointless violence but he was smart enough to understand Virus and on rare occasions a little more. As much as they hate to admit it, they would be nothing without the other. They’d be more than dead.

“Wilhelm.” Virus’ smile started to look more innocent. It was ironic how innocent these guys could look despite being behind some of the worst crimes on the island. Of course no one knew

that. The secretary only nodded.

“Room 298.”

“Thank you.” Trip nodded as they continued down the hallway. For some reason, the two of them felt out of place in a hospital. Normally the ones who caused pain were now in a building that stops it. The hallway was long but surprisingly empty, leaving them the entire hallway to roam aimlessly if they pleased. As they neared the end of the room, Virus felt a bit uneasy as if once they open this door, the whole plan will blow up in their faces.

Before he could dwell on that outcome for too long, he opened the door. As they walked in, they took note of the vase full of roses. That would be something Aoba would do, Virus thought. Trip’s gaze was locked onto the flowers, remembering that he had brought the first one.

Noiz looked up at the visitors. He knew exactly who they were. He may not have remembered the big Rhyme match they had a few months before but he remembered being attacked by their Allmates in the alleyway. These two were not good people. He was tired and chose to stay silent until they spoke.

“Hello Noiz.” Virus spoke happily.

“Oi.” Trip added. Noiz only sat there, staring at the foot of his bed so their gaze could not meet his eyes. These were not people he wanted to associate with so they had to leave. The room was filled with an overly uncomfortable silence, feeling the tenseness in the air as each moment passed.

“Do you remember who we are?” Noiz felt two sets of piercing eyes on him, staring at him until he answers the question.

“I do.” He bit his tongue, knowing that saying the wrong thing would only be a bad idea in the company of these two men. After all, they had given him scars before, he could only imagine what they would do while he was already injured.

“Tell me.”

“Virus.” Noiz’s eyes flickered towards the window, watching the tiny droplets of rain fell from the sky and landed gently on the glass.

“And me?” Trip spoke up.

“Trip.”

“Do you remember what you promised us?” this time, Noiz looked up at the blondes as if he were searching for the answer to that one. He honestly had forgotten whatever it was that he had promised and that was most likely the reason for their visit. Did they want money? All Noiz did was shake his head. “Perhaps we should explain the events of the night of the accident.” Virus folded his arms over his chest and smiled. Noiz sat up.

“Enlighten me.”

* * *

 

The light pitter patter of the rain hit the sidewalk, causing people to rush indoors. The day had started out so nice, people ate outdoors, went to the beach, went for walks, and even went window shopping. Now, the shower forced everyone back inside until it subsided.

Koujaku sat inside as well, closing his shop early so the women were not standing out in the rain. He was rarely ever home in the middle of the day, so this seemed odd to him. Every day it was always work and the hospital. his shop would always close late because there was something about home that haunted him.

Before Noiz woke up, he always hated home because it had been the last place he had seen Noiz conscious. It had been the place he fought with Noiz and he didn’t want to remember any of that anymore. All he wanted was to focus on the good things in life he had. He had Noiz to himself now and nothing could take that away. Koujaku would make sure of that.

As soon as he sat down on the couch, he heard a loud knock at the door. It seemed odd to him because rarely anyone knew where he lived. Aoba was at work. Noiz was in the hospital. It wasn’t very likely Mizuki would randomly stop by without calling first. Koujaku stood and headed over to the door. As he opened it, a young woman stood there huddled under a maroon umbrella.

“Hello?” His questioning eyes met hers, watching her seemingly angry ones glare back at him. Who was this girl? Instead of speaking, she held up a small piece of paper with a drawing of two men on it.

“Do you know these people?” Koujaku nodded, admittedly the drawing did look a lot like Virus and Trip. She put it away quickly before pulling out another one. “What about him?” The next man looked exactly like Noiz. He slowly nodded and she closed her umbrella and pushed herself inside.

“Wh-what… wait! Who are you?” He managed to catch her arm before she could get too far into the house. Koujaku closed the door behind him and the woman dropped her umbrella on the floor. His eyes darted towards the umbrella for a second. The woman managed to pull herself free while he was preoccupied and hurried towards the couch like she lived here. “Hey!”

“I have some information you would like to know.”

“Does some of that include you telling me who you are?!” Koujaku growled, sitting down on the chair next to the couch. The woman sighed and nodded.

“Calamity. I’m the second highest ranked Rhyme Player on the island.” She spoke confidently. Despite knowing about Noiz, she never knew his name. He was always ever referred to as ‘the leader of the ruffrabbits.’ A name would have been helpful now. “I’ve heard you know the number one.”

“I don’t know anything about Rhyme.” The woman held up the drawing again. Noiz was the highest ranked Rhyme player on the island? Maybe that was before because after the fall of the Tower, he only played to lose.

“Noiz?”

“Were you with him at the hospital?”

“Yes?”

“Do you know what happened?”

“No.”

“Want to find out?” Koujaku blinked in disbelief. How would this random woman possibly know what happened to Noiz when even he didn’t know. All of this was just too strange for him. This random woman, claiming she is very involved in Rhyme came to his door and is now trying to explain what happened.

“How would you know?” She smiled for a moment before her expression turned more solemn.

“I was there.”

"You're the one who neat killed Noiz, aren't you?!" Koujaku shot up from his seat, feeling his body fill with rage. Why would this woman show herself after what she's done to Noiz. He lunged forward at her, unable to control his anger any longer. Calamity dove to the other end of the couch to dodge and stared back at him.

"Why would I come to you if I hurt him?" she was calm, hoping to be able to say what she came here to say. Koujaku blinked in realization of her words.

"Then tell me what happened." he asked sternly.

"I've been searching for the serial Rhyme attackers for weeks." Calamity sighed, "After receiving an anonymous tip I was told where they were going to be next. I found two men in an alleyway talking to your friend-”

“Fiancee.” Koujaku interrupted.

“Fiancee. I didn’t want them to know someone else was there so I never heard what they said. Not long after they began to speak, their Rhyme match began. At that point I was worried about that man because no one had survived against those two. Sure, if anyone could beat them it would be him, but I didn’t want to risk it.”

“I started hacking into the game but it was nearly impossible to get through all those obstacles those two programmed in order to keep the players in the game. By the time I got in, the match was as good as over. Ruffrabbit was badly injured but still doing nothing to dodge any of the hits. It was just like the time he challenged me and acted as if he had a death wish.”

“Wait, you battled Noiz before?”

“Yes, but it was only-”

“When?” Koujaku’s head jerked towards the woman as if he was trying to interrogate her again. This person knew a lot more than he had expected her to about Noiz and it could be key to finding out how he had been living whenever Koujaku wasn’t.

“Back in the fall, I think.”

“Did you hurt him?” The question she expected. Calamity leaned back on the couch and began to recall the events of that night. She had battled in thousands of Rhyme matches, any other one would be impossible to remember, but this one was different. Most of the time she played fair, regulatory restrictions and with people who actually wanted to play.

She wasn’t, however, new to drive-bys. People would always drag her into them in an attempt to take her down so they could claim her spot in the ranks. She was always calm and collected. Her barely defeated record was a lot to be proud of.

“I did not.” she shook her head, “But he was acting weird. His attacks were weak which was odd seeing as I was battling the top Rhyme player in a non-restrictions match. I figured something must have been wrong so the only injuries he got from the match were the mental strains from the attacks but I didn’t physically attack him.”

“Good.” Koujaku spoke as if he accepted that answer, “So what else happened during the accident?”

“By the time I got into the match, there was a large snake holding him up and spears flying at his body. My Allmate,” She pulled a small lizard out of her purse and sat it in her lap, “was able to protect him from the last one. That was supposed to be the fatal blow. After I showed up the two men ended the game.”

“What happened after?” Koujaku’s throat felt dry. He couldn’t believe that Virus and Trip had been the ones who hurt him. They acted so worried and concerned about him that night. He should have known better. Why did he trust the yakuza?

“I watched them call for an ambulance and then call your friend. I was ready to call if they didn’t.”

“Thank you for telling me. I need to see Aoba, will you excuse me?”

* * *

 

The day dragged on monotonously for Aoba. Things were slow at the shop and he was longing to get out and do something. He had spent so much time working overtime to keep his mind from worrying about Noiz no he all he felt was overworked. He wanted to see Mizuki. The last time they spent time together they stayed in and watched a movie in which Aoba fell asleep ten minutes in.

The minutes dragged on, seemingly endless seconds ticked by leaving Aoba in the company of his own boredom and the shrill beep of the cleaning robot. He was a little disappointed he did not have any deliveries today. Anything outside of the shop would be enough to peak his interest for at least a moment. Usually he would hate having to leave and run all throughout the island to deliver stupid packages to people. Answering the phone was enough for him but today he wasn’t getting any.

The bell to the shop rung, making Aoba perk up from the other end of the room. He finally had something to do other than sit there and wait for something to do. The person who walked through the door was not a customer but a friend. It seemed very odd for him to be here during the middle of his work day. Aoba leaned forward with a questioning look on his face as he furrowed his eyebrows and watched the man move from the doorway towards him.

“Aoba, we need to get going.” His voice was harsh and urgent. Whatever he was talking about, it was important. Aoba hadn’t seen something light a fire in him this hot since the accident a couple months back. This had to do with him.

“What? Where? Why?” he questioned, talking quickly as if he felt the sense of urgency in the other’s voice.

“A woman came by today. She told me about that night.” Koujaku reached the counter, pressing his palms against the surface.

“What night?”

“That night.” With those words, Aoba understood. Koujaku is talking about the night of Noiz’s accident. There would be no other night that would be as important at this moment. It was the night where the man they both loved nearly died. It was the night no one understood.

“What do you mean, a woman came by?”

“She was there, Aoba.” his eyes widened. There was a witness, they had a chance to figure this out. “She saved his life and we know who’s behind this.”

“Who?”

“Virus and Trip,”

Aoba gasped. He had known these two for as long as he could remember and he never imagined they would go so far as to be serial murderers. Sure, they were a little sketchy from time to time but to Aoba, that was just them. He never expected them to hurt anyone, especially someone they knew so well. Aoba’s shock turned to anger as he shot up from his seat and stormed around the counter towards the door, pulling Koujaku with him.

“We have to confront them.”

Without another word, the two of them left the junk shop and started down the street. Neither of them knew exactly where to find these two criminals but they were dedicated enough to search everywhere. They agreed to look together, splitting up would be dangerous. Two against one is never a good idea.

On the other side of town, where Rhyme was most popular, was where they looked first. Every alleyway was checked thoroughly for traces of any activity. All of this looking was getting extremely tiring and very disappointing because they had searched for many hours without finding a trace. It was like they never existed. As they walked by Posh, they weren’t surprised to see that it was closed today. Virus and Trip wouldn’t be that stupid, they must know people are out looking for them.

The sun was beginning to set and everything felt more dangerous. If they found those two in the dark, anything could happen. Aoba was well aware they had strong Allmates who did fighting for them. /the streetlights flashed on, illuminating tiny areas with light so people could still find their way. The faint chants were enough to let them know that a Rhyme match was in progress. During a match was the most likely time for a drive-by to begin.

Neither of them knew very much about Rhyme but they understood some of it. Aoba vaguely remembers battling in Rhyme before that drive-by with Noiz but he forgot most of it. Games like that are more dangerous than anything else on this island. Koujaku never liked Rhyme and had recently been worried whenever Noiz would disappear and not return home until the next morning. He remembered finding Noiz passed out on the sidewalk and having to carry him home after a Rhyme match the night before. It was unhealthy. This game was nothing but bad news for everyone, no wonder Mizuki hated it.

Two shadows emerged from the alleyway across the street from them suddenly. Koujaku’s eyes were glued to the opening, waiting for the people to come out. As soon as Virus stepped a foot onto the sidewalk, he began to pull Aoba across the street to confront them. Once the duo spotted them, they froze. They never expected that woman to find either one of them and hoped they would be in the dark until it was too late. She was supposed to get scared and flee the island, not find all of Noiz’s friends and band them together to attack them. Virus knew this plan had a very likely outcome like this. He knew it could blow up in their face but he wasn’t going to let it without a fight.

“Aoba, Koujaku? What a surprise, isn’t it a little late to be wandering around?” Virus smiled, shifting his gaze over to Trip who remained stoic, watching the two.

“We know what you did.” Koujaku growled, feeling the anger well up inside of him. He had never been this angry since he was little. This anger wasn’t healthy and he knew that because of Ryuuhou, he wouldn’t be able to control himself a lot longer.

“Now, now Koujaku I don’t think you understand.” The blondes began to back up, inching themselves closer and closer into the alleyway as if they wanted to keep this confrontation private.

“What don’t I understand? You tried to kill him.” Koujaku stormed after them with Aoba in tow. He was worried how this would turn out. Sure, he wanted Virus and Trip to get in trouble some how but he couldn’t handle any of them being murdered in front of him, especially his best friend. He stood quietly behind him, hoping he would calm down soon, he had never seen Koujaku so angry before.

“That’s not true.” Trip replied, stepping forward towards Koujaku so he would be fully prepared if he got physical.

“Trip’s right. Noiz came to us.” Virus folded his arms confidently over his chest, “He challenged us to the battle and we aim to please.”

“It’s not our fault he lost.”

“Why would he do that?” His anger momentarily shifted to concern as he thought about Noiz. He had stormed off that night, it was very likely he went somewhere looking for trouble because he was hurting. But what he didn’t understand was why Noiz went to them and why he didn’t bother fighting back. “He wouldn’t just let you kill him.”

“That’s what he wanted, Koujaku. If he didn’t, we could have beaten us.” Virus’ smirk was getting to him again. It was just his condescending attitude was enough to make anyone want to punch him in the face right then. Trip’s stone-cold expression could melt down any ounce of confidence one could ever have. They were two people who should never be messed with. Koujaku didn’t care at this point, he just wanted them to be punished for what they did to Noiz.

“No! That’s not it, he couldn’t have wanted to die!” Koujak shouted back, unable to admit that his words drove the love of his life to try to kill himself. There was no way he wanted to be the reason behind that like he was with the death of his mother. He couldn’t go through that again.

“Of course he did. If you loved him you would have noticed.” The rage was fuming inside of him now. His body felt red hot and was nearly bursting at the seams. Koujaku let out a low growl before lunging forward in an attempt to tackle one of the two to the ground.

Before coming in contact with either of his enemies, he felt a strong arm on his chest. In the moment, he didn’t know who it was but he was pleading at him to stop and to calm down but it was too late for him. He was going to destroy these two if it was the last thing he ever did. The two men on the other side of the alleyway stood still, watching the man hold him back.

“Please, Koujaku you don’t want to fight.” Virus chuckled, turning on his heel and headed for the door leading into an old bar. He couldn’t just let him walk away. All he saw was red. Before he knew it, Koujaku had Virus pinned to the brick wall of the bar. Trip and Aoba stood to the side in shock, staring at the long blade stuck through the blonde’s shoulder. Virus stared at the wound, unable to speak. He had been through his share of fights and knew enough to realize that this wasn’t going to kill him, but he never expected Koujaku to pull a sword on him. He began to laugh, hoping he could remain his normal self through the pain he was feeling.

“Koujaku!” Aoba sprang forward, trying to calm him down or to control him. He was seething, watching the man laugh as if he wasn’t just stabbed. He was lucky, he would have stabbed him in the stomach if he had gotten the chance. Koujaku wanted these two dead and would have stopped at nothing to make sure of that. Blinded by the rage, he yanked the sword out of Virus’ shoulder and swung it at the man walking towards him.

Aoba gasped, dropping to the ground and feeling the sting of the new cut. Removing his jacket, he assessed the wound and watched the blood seep from the thin cut. Virus slid down the brick wall, grabbing at his shoulder in an attempt to put pressure on his wound. He had never been injured in a fight before so this was fairly new. Trip yanked off his tie and pressed it against his colleague’s shoulder as he watched the blood soak the fabric.

Koujaku roared in anger, seemingly unaware of all the injured around him. When Aoba rose to his feet, he charged towards his friend again. He sprinted towards him, making Koujaku drop his sword and brace the incoming impact of that man’s body on his. ‘Destroy,’ Aoba heard, ‘destroy.’ He was hearing that voice again. It had been nearly a year since he heard that. He hated that voice inside of him but he needed to use it now.

_Aoba woke up in a strange place. It was a small tattoo shop, at least that’s what it looked like. There were tons of beautiful tattoo designs pinned to the wall behind the small, gray countertop. Besides that, the room was empty and dark. Only a single candle illuminated the space atop the counter. Aoba paced around the tiny room in search for his friend. He had to be somewhere but he just couldn’t see him._

_As he walked, he felt the room getting colder. With a shiver, he turned towards the darkest corner. He heard a low moan from the darkness as he approached that side of the room. As he neared the sound, he felt uneasy as he did when he did this for Noiz. He had always feared he would mess up like he did with Mizuki._

_He sat down next to a large, dark lump, feeling the presence of someone else. The lump rolled over, groaning softly as he looked up at Aoba. Koujaku’s body lay mangled in a heap, covered in cuts and bruises like he had just been in a huge fight. He didn’t speak, but stared up at his friend with pleading eyes as if he was asking for forgiveness._

_“Koujaku….” Aoba reached his hand out to touch Koujaku. His hand froze before he made contact with the skin before retreating back to his side. “....what happened?” Koujaku sat up, never losing eye contact with Aoba._

_“I messed up. It’s all my fault.”_

_“What is?”_

_“My mother.” Aoba furrowed his eyebrows as he looked back at his friend. Never once has he brought up anything about his parents or why he left the island for a few years. He scooted closer and nodded his head to show he was listening. “My anger got the best of me, I didn’t even know what happened before it was too late, Aoba. I killed her.”_

_“It’s alright now.” He spoke up, not really knowing how else to answer. Aoba never expected to hear something like this from Koujaku and it hurt a lot to listen to. Something bad must have happened that drove him to do that but he wasn’t going to press it._

_“No it’s not. I came back to see you.” He smiled weakly, “I knew you didn’t know and wouldn’t treat me like the monster I am, Aoba.”_

_“You’re not a monster.” He tried to reassure him._

_“I am. I wanted to die so badly, you never would have seen me again.”_

_“Koujaku, it’s alright now. Everything is okay. I would be devastated if I found out you had died and so would Noiz. We both care about you so much and we all have done things we regret greatly but nothing like that will define you.”_

_“You’re wrong.” Koujaku started, but the tears welling up in his eyes prevented him from continuing._

_“I’m not, what’s in the past can’t be changed and I know that is a hard thing to get over but if you keep beating yourself up about it, you’ll never let yourself move on and grow.” Aoba smiled, holding Koujaku’s hand for support. Before he was able to hear an answer, he was dragged from his mind and back to the world around him._

Aoba sat in the dark alleyway quietly. As he looked around,  he noticed Virus and Trip had escaped and are nowhere to be found. Koujaku’s sword was left on the ground, untouched and still covered in blood. Rain poured from the sky, drenching the two of them as Aoba sat and Koujaku remained unconscious. As he awoke, he sat up to see Aoba waiting for him. With a smile, he held his hand out to his friend.

“Thank you, Aoba.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is possibly going to be one chapter shorter than I planned


	16. Change Of Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are made

“One week until discharge, are you excited?”

“Yes.” He nodded like he hasn’t heard that one before. It’s been two days since he’s seen Koujaku. That feeling of abandonment crept up on him faster than he expected. It wasn’t that long since he agreed to marry Koujaku but he couldn’t help but think that he changed his mind. He spent all that time pushing away all his demons, there was no way he could let them come back.

Noiz looked out the window towards the bright sunlight. Everything outside looked cheery and warm, he actually couldn’t wait to leave and feel the warmth on his face and the cool spring breeze. Simple things like these were never things that interested Noiz before, but he surprisingly felt happier. Maybe it was because he had people who cared about him. Maybe it was because he let go all the things he clung onto.

He couldn’t get over what Virus and Trip had said to him. They were the only reason he would ever want to stay in the safety of the hospital. Noiz hated hospitals. Those two admitted to being the ones who sent him to the hospital. It was just a Rhyme battle he challenged them to. That wasn’t the part that worried him. Noiz promised them that if he lost he would accept their offer for him to join Morphine.

There was no way in hell he was going to join them. He may not have remembered every detail from that night but he knew they were terrible people. Aoba couldn’t see that, he was even friendly to them. Koujaku didn’t trust them but never suspected them to do something too bad. Noiz knew what they were capable of.

Noiz got up from his bed and walked slowly over to the window. He opened it halfway and sat in the cushioned set. This reminded him of the last time he was in the hospital. Everything he did had to do with him dying in some way. Last time he sat near the window, he thought about jumping out. This time, he wanted to breathe the fresh air and enjoy the life he has.

After the fall of the Tower, Aoba left him a small blue flower that eventually grew old and died. As Noiz turned to look at the table, he noticed the bouquet of roses sitting in the vase from Koujaku. Some of them had died but most were a bright and lively. That was when he realized that this trip to the hospital was not much different than his first one.

Noiz had never been patient, anyone could prove that. He escaped the hospital the last time he was here because he wanted to leave. At this moment, he was sincerely questioning doing it again. He left a week before then, so it wouldn’t hurt to leave a week before now. No one would care, would they?

With a sigh, he climbed back into the bed, deciding he should actually listen to the doctors for once. Many of his wounds had healed for the most part while he was sleeping but occasionally his head would throb until he took medicine for it to dull the pain. Despite being the best Rhyme player on the island, he decided to take a break from it. It would be for the best.  

As night fell, his urge to leave grew unbearable. Noiz found himself rising from his bed and grabbing hold of the vase of roses and heading out the door as he did the last time. His bare feet padded down the hallway quickly as he tried to avoid doctors and nurses who would question him. He crept closer to a corner and listened for footsteps.

Upon hearing only silence, he took step around the corner. A loud squeak sounded through the halls as a doctor followed by a nurse barreled down the hallway with a hospital bed, mumbling about getting the patient prepped for surgery. Noiz froze, knowing he was caught. Slowly moving back to the other side of the corner, he stood still until they raced past.

With a smirk, he continued walking unacknowledged as he neared the emergency stairs. These were the same stares he escaped from the last time, he was sure of it. The roses remained firmly in his hand this time as he pushed through the door, hearing the sound of the alarm blare through the speakers as he ran.

This was much too easy, Noiz wondered why people didn’t escape from hospitals more often. He wandered down the sidewalk in the same green hospital gown he had on months ago, getting the same strange looks and worried glances. This time, he decided it would be best to just go home. He didn’t need James, he didn’t need to sleep in the rain, and he didn’t need to beat up a guy for clothes.

The night was calm and cool. Tiny chirps from crickets were the only think to be heard in the silence of night. The moon was full, shining down on him like a beacon, surrounded by thousands of bright stars. As much as he wanted to take his time and enjoy the outdoors, he figured it would be best to change so no one would make him go back.

As he walked, his mind wandered. He remembered when he decided that he wanted to marry Aoba. He went on about this whole thing about leaving and coming back when he feels he is ready and prepared to marry him. That was something he never really thought about. Nothing had ever been settled like he had originally planned to.

Koujaku was different. He asked for Noiz’s hand. There was nothing he had to do to be ready for this. He already was. There was no need to leave and come back, everything was decided already. Everything was final and that was that. He was going to marry Koujaku and continue his life as it is now. That was fine by him.

The door to his apartment was closed and locked this time which actually surprised him. He had been gone for months and yet Clear didn’t find it necessary to camp out. As he walked in, he made sure to check the umbrella holder only to find it empty as it should be. The quiet chilled air began to make Noiz uncomfortable to be in his own apartment for some reason.

He couldn’t shake this feeling that he should be somewhere doing something. These feelings used to happen often but there was something about this time that felt more urgent. No matter what it was, Noiz knew he had to get out of there as soon as he could. Quickly, he changed and headed to the first place he thought of.

It was quite a ways away, Noiz knew that. The air was calming and part of him believed he could convince himself that he didn’t need to do this. He could just go home and live life the way he planned to after discharge. Koujaku would be with him and that’s all that should matter. Apparently his brain thought otherwise. Noiz was convinced that this was the only way to continue his life and if he did it now, he never had to do it again.

“Excuse me, sir.” The woman in front of him spoke politely, “How may I help you?” Noiz looked at the woman intently as if he was going to ask her what he should do. At this point, there was no going back. He made this decision and it was final.

“One ticket to Germany.”

* * *

 

“What do you mean gone!?” he shouted, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” This happened last time, there was no way it happened again. How do hospitals just let people walk away as if they were never admitted in the first place? He had a week left, why did he have to be so impatient? Koujaku paced back and forth in his living room while speaking to the nurse in charge of Noiz.

“We check on him hourly, sir. Sometime between one AM and two AM he managed to get out undetected. The only information we got was the alarm on the emergency stairwell.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.” she repeated. With a sigh, Koujaku hung up and called Aoba to tell him the news. It had only been two days since he’s been to the hospital to see him and he’s already gone.

At that point, Koujaku started to feel worried. Last time he saw Virus and Trip was that alleyway and they got away. It wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for them to be near the hospital because Virus needed stitches. That was not a wound you could just put a bandaid on. Trip could have snuck passed the waiting room and found where Noiz’s room was and kidnapped him. It was an extremely likely possibility and that’s what scared Koujaku. He knew they would do it.

Besides, why would Noiz wander off again? He had nothing to run from. Just to make sure, Koujaku made his way over to his fiance’s apartment to see if he was there. On his way over there, he stopped by his shop just in case he just so happened to be sleeping under his shop sign like old times. Unsurprisingly, he was incorrect.

He knocked on the door lightly, only to be greeted by the small creak of the door opening on its own. Unlocked. Koujaku stepped inside cautiously, peeking his head in first but saw nothing. His apartment was completely empty. All he found was a mint-green hospital gown thrown onto the living room floor and the large vase full of roses sitting on the coffee table.

It was good to know he wasn’t kidnapped, but it still didn’t answer his other question. Why did Noiz leave the hospital before he was supposed to? With a sigh, he pulled out his coil and called Aoba again.

“Did you find him?”

“No, but I found where he’s been.” Koujaku leaned over and picked up the gown with his free hand and examined it like it would tell him where Noiz went. He heard Aoba sigh.

“Where?”

“His apartment, he’s been home.”

“Seriously?” Aoba sounded relieved. Both of them had worried that he was taken somehow by Virus and Trip. Those two had their ways of getting what they wanted and by the looks of it, they wanted Noiz badly. “Should I come over there?”

“He’s not here now.” Koujaku spoke sadly as he peeked into Noiz’s bedroom and bathroom to make sure he was correct. He went somewhere on his own accord but neither of them knew where or why. Koujaku sat down on the couch with a sigh, scanning the room for his usagimodoki or some clue as to where that man has gone. To his dismay, everything was cleaned up and tidy as it had been before he was even admitted to the hospital. “What if he ran away?”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Aoba heard the fear and concern in Koujaku’s voice and tried to reassure him. Honestly, he knew that could have been a possibility but there was no way he was going to remind him of that, “Not anymore.”

“What do you mean, not anymore?” The man stood and began to pace back and forth across his fiance’s living room.

“He has you now, he wouldn’t just leave that behind.”

“But what if he did.”

“He didn’t.”

“You don’t know that!” Koujaku shouted back, knowing that Aoba was even lying to himself. Silence followed, proving that yes, Noiz leaving was a very possible outcome and neither of them wanted to admit it. The two of them stayed on the phone for a few minutes longer in tense silence before Koujaku stated he had to go and that was that. Somehow he was going to find Noiz and prove to him that it was worth staying.

* * *

 

Noiz hadn’t been on a plane in years. In reality, it was only about two but to him it felt like an eternity. Something about planes made him uneasy. Maybe it was all the people or the overly friendly flight attendants or even the food. Whatever it was, he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was about planes that made him more than a little nervous.

This was him though. Noiz was never scared of anything that was said to be dangerous. That’s probably why he ruled out that factor when trying to determine why he hated flying. What also was odd was the outfit he had chosen to wear. Throughout his life, he had never worn a formal suit. Sure, he had tied ties and worn dress shirts from time to time but never the whole things at once.

To him the suit was slightly uncomfortable but made him come off as successful and important. Noiz had noticed people politely holding doors for him and smiling when he walked by. He never got any of that when he wore what he usually did. People would look the other way and keep moving on with their lives. In this suit, he felt as if he was a part of all of those strangers’ lives for just a moment.

As the plane took off, Noiz started to think a lot about strangers. It was weird to know that even a glimpse of a face could creep its way into someone’s dreams. Nameless people were wandering through his mind like a busy subway station. Each person was going somewhere but he didn’t always know where. That said a lot about strangers, seeing them walk down the street with a look on their faces that tells people they know where they want to go. The thing that got him every time was, he never knew where that was.

Sure, he could look at the way they dress or the way they carry themselves and just assume they are going somewhere important or they have no hope left but in reality, nothing was ever certain. He didn’t know anything about their lives and couldn’t assume one thing from looking at them because it wasn’t fair to the stranger. All of these strangers and he couldn’t help but wonder. It was bad to think that way because he knew he was never going to find the answers but he never gave up on it.

As the plane descended, Noiz began to regret ever making this decision to go to Germany. There was no way anyone here would want to see him again so why did he get his hopes up? That’s always how he got disappointed, he always had high hopes on big things. Part of him wanted his family to reject him as they did years ago but another part of him wanted the opposite. All he wanted was for them to see how he made it in the real world. His family had to see for themselves so they knew they were wrong about him.

Noiz stood up from his seat, slinging his bag over his shoulder and exited the plane. Walking down the long corridor gave him a little time to take deep breathes and really evaluate what he had just decided. He was to search for his parents and to reconnect with his brother. There was no way he could really recognize him now, he hadn’t seen him since he was much younger.

The airport was bustling with people coming and going much like the strangers in his mind. In front of him different strangers hurried in every direction in order to reach their unknown destination. Noiz walked over to the escalator and found a bright green sign with the word ‘Autovermietung,’ along with an arrow to a garage. Renting a car would be simple and he had enough money to do so but he never learned how to drive. As he walked passed the sign he noticed a couple taxi’s lined up on the street, waiting for customers. Noiz approached the vehicle and opened his mouth to speak.

What came out was a sentence in a way Noiz hadn’t even heard in a long time. At this point, he figured he wouldn’t remember how to speak German. Seeing as it had only been two years, he still knew quite a lot of the language. He couldn’t have forgotten after speaking that language for eighteen years. Noiz always read books that taught him new languages but the first one he ever knew was German.

The taxi driver nodded, signalling for him to get in. As he closed the door beside him, the driver asked him where he would like to go. Almost instantly, he gave the address and the car began to roll. Noiz was nearly shocked he remembered that so quickly. He wasn’t like some typical little boy who had to write his home phone number and address down on a piece of paper at school so he would memorize it. Most memories from his childhood were long passed the point of no return, it was surprising he recalled that detail.

The car eventually pulled up to a large, mansion-like house up on a hill. It wasn’t one of those huge hills with the ancient castle sitting on top and the winding road leading up to the gates. It was white and pristine with a short, gravel driveway with a large steel gate standing at the end.

This was it, Noiz thought, mentally bracing himself for what he believed to be the worst. He paid the driver and got out, setting foot in the gravel beneath him. Noiz stood in silence before the gate, listening as the car drove away with nothing but the sound of the gravel crunching underneath the tires and the quiet sound of the engine.

His first step towards the gate didn’t make him feel any better. That step became another, then three, then four until he was close enough to notice a small button sitting on the left hand side of it. As he lifted a shaky finger, he pressed it, allowing a long church-like bell to sound. The gates clicked and began to open up slowly as if it was supposed to be dramatic.

The driveway appeared to be short from the car, but walking down it towards the house started to feel a lot like the airport corridor. Perhaps that was a good things, allowing Noiz enough time to take a deep breath. He hoped he made the right decision to come here because there was no way he wanted to go back to how he used to feel.

The door was large and daunting but Noiz approached it anyway, ringing the next bell as if the first hadn’t been loud enough for his parents to hear. The door remained closed for a few minutes. Noiz stood patiently, forcing himself to stand there until he was welcomed inside. As soon as the door started to creak open, Noiz felt a rush of excitement come over him.

An older man answered the door. He was unfamiliar. Noiz furrowed his eyebrows as he looked back at the man. The man was dressed in a crisp, black tuxedo and stood in a manner that told Noiz that he was important.

“Can I help you?”

“Uh, no.” Noiz concluded, knowing that it was a mistake to come here. He turned on his heel and began to walk back towards the path.

“Wait a minute.” The man at the door called out to him and Noiz froze. “Turn around please, sir.” Noiz did as he was told and faced the nicely dressed man in the doorway.

“What?” he called back, hoping he would let him leave soon.

“Wilhelm?”

“What?” Noiz instinctively replied.

“It is you.” The man waved his hand, signalling for Noiz to come inside. With a sigh, he followed the man. Whoever that was, he recognized him. People still knew who he was.

He stepped inside, stifling a gasp as the door closed behind him. This was the house he had lived in for years but only saw a small glimpse of it. Back when he left, he barely payed attention to anything around him. All he wanted was to say goodbye to his brother, not admire the fresh paint.

The grand foyer was astonishing. The white, marble floors stretched from the door all the way to the far end of the room. Noiz noticed the mahogany staircase leading up to an overhead balcony. A faint sound of heels clicked down the wood and he froze. Atop the staircase stood a woman in her late forties.

The moment Noiz saw her, he knew that was his mother. She rushed down the stairs, heels thumping down each step. As soon as she hit the marble floor, the woman threw her arms around Noiz. He stood there, watching her hug him with the most confused look on his face. Noiz wanted so badly for his mother to miss him but now that he knew that she did, he wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

There were so many questions he wanted to ask her but couldn’t bring himself to. His mother let out choked sobs, gripping her son closer to her as if she was going to lose him again. She tried to speak, saying something along the lines of ‘Oh, how I’ve missed you,’ but he was unable to comprehend much like the last words she had spoke to him.

He wanted to apologize for leaving. When he left, all he did was bring pain to his family. This was the family he loved. Of course he felt betrayed by them when they locked him away but nothing ever made him hate them so much that he wanted to bring them pain. All he could do was wrap his arms around his mother and be happy he was with her now.

“Wilhelm.” She started, pulled back from the hug to look him in the eyes. Tears were still welling up in the corners of her eyes but she just looked at him. All she ever wanted was the best for him, she didn’t mean to make him miserable enough that he would run away.

Once he left, she was a mess. No one could get the truth out of her. There were nights she would wake up and just cry knowing that her baby was somewhere out in a world he knew nothing about. She worried that the only reason he wasn’t coming back was because he had gotten himself killed somehow. Admittedly, she knew the way she handled his condition wasn’t the best but she had no idea what to do. None of that mattered now, he was home and he was safe.

“I’m sorry.” His words came out slow and sincere. She knew he meant it. Every word he said to him the night he left cut her like a knife knowing he would rather risk dying than being with her.

“No, I’m sorry Wilhelm. I love you, I missed you.” Her whole body shook. she never expected to see her son again and here he was standing in her foyer. Their foyer. “Your father misses you, Theo misses you.”

“Where are they?” Noiz spoke quietly as if he was trying not to wake the entire house. He spun around, looking in every direction to try and catch a glimpse of either of them.

“Your father is at work.” She grabbed Noiz’s hand and pulled him towards the mahogany staircase, “Theo is in his room, would you like to see him?” Noiz only nodded, hurrying up the stairs after his mother. He was a lot older now, he could only imagine what he looks like.

The door in front of him was the only thing blocking him from his brother. For years, the only thing keeping him from Theo was just a door. This time it was different. There were no locks, no rules, just a door. Noiz placed his hand on the knob, turning it slowly as he pushed himself into his brother’s room.

Once his eyes locked on the boy leaning over the desk, he felt a smile creep across his face. Theo looked a lot like him. At this point, he had to be nearly eighteen so it was only predictable they would look alike. His strawberry blonde hair fell over his face messily, much longer than Noiz’s was. His brother was thoroughly engrossed in something he was writing in a notebook, he never noticed his door had been opened.

Theo’s face unleashed a wave of nostalgia, making Noiz feel at home again. Something about the white floors, leather couches, and mahogany stairs made him feel as if he checked into a five star hotel not arrived home. That sense of familiarity he got when he saw his brother was enough to calm him down and wash away any sort of nervousness he had before he got here.

“Yo.” Noiz called up, watching the boy at the desk put his pen down delicately and turn his swivel chair around to face him. When he spotted him, he instantly recognized him. Theo’s wide eyes and beaming smile made Noiz’s heart flutter knowing he was still loved back at home.

“Will” He stood, slowly making his way over to his brother as if he wasn’t sure if any of this was actually real in this moment, “You’re home.”

“Miss me?” he smirked as Theo laughed, wrapping his arms around his brother, mumbling ‘of course I did,’ into Noiz’s chest. “You’ve gotten so big.”

“So have you.” Theo hasn’t seen him since he was five. Ever since he was locked away, he was never allowed to see him. On the night he left, he was asleep and unaware he had gone. The morning after, he found his mother crying by the foot of the stairs in the foyer. She wouldn’t tell him why at first, only mumbling ‘please come back.’ It wasn’t soon after that that he realized his brother had left. That night was his eighteenth birthday. “Why did you come back?”

Theo understood his parents never treated Noiz the way they treated him. They always looked at him as if he was an only child, a perfect child. He was showered with gifts and praise. Sometimes, he would sit by Noiz’s door and apologize for getting all of that attention because he knew his brother got little to nothing. He never expected Noiz to answer or even listen, but he always thought Noiz had grown to hate him. Now that he was back, everything was different. He was standing in his room dressed in a fancy suit, smiling like the happiest man in Germany.

“I wanted to invite you to my wedding.”

“Your wedding!?” Noiz nodded, “Where is your fiance?”

“Back at home.” It felt weird to Noiz saying home and not referring to where he was now. they were both homes to him, “I need your blessing.”

“Why do you need my blessing?” Theo chuckled. “Aren’t you supposed to ask the other family for that?”

“He doesn’t have anyone.” he spoke blandly. His brother only nodded, that’s why.

“Well you have my blessing, Will.”

“Good.” Noiz smiled, “Let’s hope  father will too.” Theo nodded again, understanding his brother’s worry. Their father was pretty strict when it came to certain things and marriage was one of them. Theo was eighteen now and already had to sit through one of his father’s marriage talks about finding the right woman and treating her with respect and starting a family to carry on his family business. He could only imagine how this would go over with him later.

There was a knock on the door. His mother walking in, telling them that their father was going to be home for dinner and Noiz could surprise him then. The two boys nodded and she was gone. Theo shot a worried glance at his brother and knew that there was no going back on this. If he really wanted them to attend his wedding, it was tonight or never.

“I bet it’ll be fine.’ Theo tried to reassure him but honestly he had no idea how it would be. Their father was unpredictable. Their mother would be happy as long as they were happy.

The sun began to set and dinner was about an hour away. Noiz paced around his brother’s room, starting to feel the reality of the situation. Everything he imagined was terrible. He would tell his father and he would kick him out of the house and refuse to let his mom of Theo to come to the wedding as well. He wanted all three of them to come. Noiz just wanted to finally be accepted by them.

The clock above the door was ticking quickly, making Noiz feel impatient. He was really close to walking into the dining room, announcing his news, and getting on the next flight home. When the knock at the door came again, it was from the man in the tuxedo who answered the door. He announced that dinner was prepared and that they should head down to eat. With a deep breath, he turned towards his brother and he nodded in assurance.

The table in the dining room was a lot shorter than he imagined. Perhaps he had been watching too many movies with wealthy people who had tables the length of a bus. Noiz sat down next to Theo and glanced around the table. Sat across from him was his mother and next to her at the head was an empty seat. The place at the table was set as if someone was going to eat there. Noiz suspected that was his father’s spot. He was the only one who was not there.

A man eventually walked in, much older looking than he remembered. It had only been  two years yet he seemed to have looked ten years older. The man paused when he notice two boys sitting at the table instead of one. His mouth hung open as he sat in his seat at the head of the table.

“Wilhelm, what are you doing here?”

“I decided to come back for now.”

“Why, did you realize real life ain’t all that after all?” His father reclined in his seat and spoke to his son as if he hadn’t been missing for two years.

“That’s not it.”

“Then what have you been doing for two years?”

“Living.” Noiz spat back, feeling the pity his father was showing him from across the table. His mother only sat quietly and ate her soup, hoping he would show Noiz some respect. Theo just watched them, ready to intervene if he had to. He loved both of them but sometimes his father was a bit too harsh. He had to be if he was one of the most successful businessmen in Germany.

“How’s that been treating you? That suit is looking a bit raggedy if you ask me.” Noiz cringed at that, feeling personally offended. He didn’t know why he was, he insulted the suit, not him.

“Pretty good now. I’ll get a new suit for my wedding.” At that, his father visibly became interested in the conversation, sitting up and leaning over the table towards his son.

“You’re getting married?”

“That’s why I came here. I’m inviting you.” Noiz nodded.

“That’s so wonderful honey, what’s her name?” His mother spoke up between spoonfuls of soup. Theo looked at Noiz and nodded as if to tell him he had his support and that it was time to set the record straight.

“Yeah, is she from Germany?”

“His name’s Koujaku.” He sat expressionless, watching his father’s face fall and his mother scoop more soup into her mouth to keep herself from looking a little disappointed. Theo sat there, trying to keep himself from smiling.

“Very funny, Will.” He began laughing so hard his face turned red. It confused Noiz at first, wondering why he was laughing all of a sudden. His fiance was nothing to laugh at.

“I’m serious.”

“No you’re not.”

“I am.”

“Will, stop messing with me.” His laughter subsided but his face was still red, this time with anger, “You’re lying.”

“I’m not.” Noiz answered simply. His father growled, diving over the table towards his son. The room fell silent, no one wanted to make a sound or even a sudden movement. Everything as suddenly more tense as his father stared up at him, eyes filled with rage.

Noiz closed his eyes and began to take a deep breath. He expected to feel calm and be able to talk this out civilly with his dad. However, his father did not want to do the same. The next thing Noiz felt was a sharp pain spread across his face as the sound of a loud slap filled the air.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One to two more chapters after this (plus an epilogue) It's exciting to see this come together, I've never kept with one of my stories for this long.


	17. Raindrops on Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here we go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow writer's block on top of a con is difficult to get back from, apologies

“Honey!” his mother stood, rushing towards her son. By the time she got over to the opposite side of the table, Theo had already grabbed his brother and was examining the bright, red mark on his face. To Noiz, the sound of it was worse than the feeling but what cut deep was the fact that his father did it to him. He knew his dad never liked him ever since he was locked away and he shouldn’t have expected him to accept him with open arms.

It was shocking to him because a small portion of him believed that he had changed. His father stood, wanting to jump forward and hit him again but he just couldn’t. All he did was stand by the head of the table, hands clenched tightly into fists, watching his family dote on Noiz like he was the perfect son. He had felt so betrayed by him leaving and putting him and his mother through the pain of not knowing what would ever become of him. Now that he had returned, part of him expected his son to be some wildly successful man but yet here he is, standing in front of him covered in grotesque piercings, wearing a cheap suit, and the news of him marrying a man. It just wasn’t acceptable for him.

“It’s fine, I can handle it.” Noiz breathed as he pushed his brother and mother away from him, moving closer to his father. “Why can’t you just accept me?” There was no response. His father only stood, fists clenched and glaring at his son with disappointment. It wasn’t the fact that he was marrying a man that angered him, it was the feeling of betrayal. When he was born, he decided that he would become the next head of the company. Then Noiz left them two years ago. Now he was getting married, preparing to leave them again for a man he didn’t even know. “I’ll even let you hit me again, it’s okay! I can feel it!” Noiz began to laugh, trying to keep the tears from falling again, “ Doesn’t that make you happy!? It’s what you wanted right!? Hit me!”

“W-will,” his father started.

“Hit me!”

“Will, stop!” Theo shouted, pulling on his brother’s shoulders. He didn’t bother to look. All he felt was Theo’s arms around his waist, tugging him out of the room. His heart beat like rain pounding on the metal roofs of a quiet town. Back in Theo’s room, Noiz sat on the bed taking quick breaths and staring down at the floor. “Will, are you okay?”

“I need….to talk to him.” Noiz stood, reaching for his coil on the desk.

“Who?”

* * *

 

The night went on. The two sat in Aoba’s room in silence, hoping they would hear something from Noiz. They had called him countless times but didn’t get anything in return. Neither of them wanted to speak at that moment. After all the insanity the three of them had gone through in the past few months, Noiz could have chosen to go anywhere.

He was always very secretive and preferred not to tell anyone of his thoughts or plans. It wasn’t until recently was Noiz very upfront about his emotions. Koujaku, understandably, thought the worst. What he expected to find in the near future was Noiz’s body somewhere. There was no way he would be able to be okay after coming across that.

Suddenly in the midst of the silence, Koujaku’s coil rang. Aoba turned to look at his friend, holding his coil in a trembling hand, shaking his head.

“I can’t answer it.”

“Koujaku” he started.

“Answer it, please?” Koujaku’s voice sounded desperate like it was clinging to older memories. Aoba only nodded, holding the coil in his own hands.

“Hello?”

“Aoba?” The voice on the other side sounded shocked but familiar enough for him to recognize.

“Noiz!?” Koujaku’s eyes widened at the sound of the name, scotting himself closer to Aoba so he could also hear the conversation. It’s been more than 24 hours since either of them had heard from him.

“Where’s Koujaku?”

“He’s uh,” Aoba looked over to his best friend, watching him shake his head. Noiz couldn’t know he was too scared to answer his own phone, “He’s taking a shower.”

“Aoba, I need him.”

“What happened? Where are you?”

“I need you two to get on a plane to Germany as soon as possible. Tonight if you can.” The two were quiet for a moment. For Aoba, it was the shock. He had no idea what was going on but the tone of Noiz’s voice sounded so desperate. This had to be big or he never would have reached out for any sort of help. “Y-you can’t ask me why.”

“Noiz, what’s happening?!”

“You’ll know soon enough.” Nothing else was said. The only sound to follow was a beep, signalling that Noiz was gone. Koujaku stood, grabbing his stuff as soon as the line went dead. He had to find his way to Germany tonight. Aoba handed the coil back to Koujaku and stood as well.

“To the airport?” He spoke mindlessly, realizing afterward that that was a stupid question. Of course Koujaku wanted to go to the airport. Noiz needed help and he needed to be there to help him. The airport was far, but with the knowledge of the island hat Aoba had, he knew the quickest way to get places.

As the two of them ran, careful not to wake Tae or they wouldn’t be going anywhere. It was nearly five in the morning. The two finally approached the airport, heavily breathing in the dense, spring air. It was a small building unlike the central airport inside Platinum Jail.

“Do you think any of these planes go to Germany?” Aoba asked, out of breath and staggering behind a very determined Koujaku. He had to remind himself to wear lighter clothes before he was to sprint across the island.

“Can’t hurt to try.” Koujaku spoke, leading his friend inside. The airport was empty aside from the blonde woman behind the ticket desk. The sign hanging from the ceiling glowed with the names of destinations and departure times.

_Santiago, Chile_

_New York , USA_

_Beijing, China_

_Perth, Australia_

_Tripoli, Lebanon_

_Munich, Germany_

“There, Germany.” Aoba pointed to the sign, “ It says the departure time is a little over than an hour from now. Koujaku nodded as they approached the friendly looking lady behind the desk. She kindly greeted them and asked them where they would like to go,“Two tickets to Munich, please?”

After purchasing their tickets, they chose to sit together by the gate until the plane was to be boarded. At that time, it had been well past sunrise and now the shining sun sat delicately in the sky as it lit the island on this new day. Koujaku’s eyes wandered towards the large window overlooking the runway. A plane sped forward before looking as if it leaped into the sky like a soaring bird.

The time was 6:32 AM, exactly 43 minutes before the plane was supposed to board. In his eyes, those were too many precious minutes wasted by idly sitting in an airport while Noiz is going through something horrible. The flight was quite lengthy from what he could gather, it would be around 11 hours in the air. That was 11 more hours he had to be without Noiz when he needed him.

Aoba checked his watch again, taking note that a minute had passed. He sat impatiently next to Koujaku, trying to figure out the nature of his problem. Why was Noiz in Germany? Out of all places someone could run away to, Noiz chose a country eleven hours away. It was like he was afraid or something. Aoba recalled having a dream almost like this but with Mink. He imagined going out to find where he had run off to, only to find him very far away from home.

The part that confused Aoba was that Noiz did not have anything to run from anymore. He was better, Virus and Trip weren’t going to bother him anymore. The storm was over, so why was Noiz running for shelter? The reason he tried to ignore was about Koujaku. Aoba knew that Koujaku had thought of it as a possibility too.

Before either of them could complete;y gather their thoughts, an announcement came over the loudspeaker, telling passengers they could now board flight 6649. Koujaku stood, holding his ticket firmly in his hand and waited in the line to board. Aoba followed, shooting Koujaku a weak smile as they handed their tickets to the man by the gate. The narrow hallway was crowded by people walking towards the plane. It was a suffocating feeling, almost as if the walls were closing in on either side. Koujaku couldn’t tell if he only felt that way because he was nervous for what he would find in Germany or the flight itself. He hadn’t been on a plane in years.

They sat relatively close to the back of the plane. Aoba offered the give Koujaku the window seat but he declined. Sitting by the aisle would make him feel more at ease. The idea of flying always excited Aoba. It was unfortunate that his first time flying had to be under these circumstances, however. His parents sent him postcards from places they had traveled to, he always wanted to go somewhere cool. Though Aoba always pushed away those thoughts to adventure because he knew that he had to be there for Granny. There was no way he would normally leave her alone in the house. The only reason he did it this time was because there was no time to ask for permission or to negotiate this decision. His friend needed him and he had to come to his aid because last time Noiz needed him, Aoba had failed.

As the plane began to move towards the runway, Aoba felt his stomach jump in the realization that he was about to be in the air. The plane raced down the runway like a new sportscar, shooting into the air like a rocket, There was no turning back now, they were airborne, getting higher by the second. The screen in front of them displayed a map showing the altitude, plane location, and estimated arrival time. Aoba’s eyes were fixed on the left corner of the screen.

“Uh, Koujaku?” He nudged his arm against Koujaku’s side, keeping his eyes glued to the screen.

“Hm?” He looked over at Aoba who looks more worried than he was.

“How long is this flight again?”

“Eleven hours, why?”

“It says arrival time, one thirty AM.” Aoba’s eyes widened, pulling his gaze from the screen so his eyes could meet Koujaku’s. “That’s eighteen.”

“Time difference.” Koujaku raised a brow at Aoba. It was understandable that he had forgotten something like that, neither of them had slept for two days. Also, the fact that there was a seven hour time difference between the island and Germany isn’t something that comes up too much.

Not soon after that, Koujaku looked over at Aoba only to find him asleep. It was rather funny, as his cheek was pressed against the window, mouth hanging open, with a tiny drop of drool sitting on his right arm. He wanted to rest as well but the thoughts were nearly eating him alive. Koujaku just could not shake the feeling that Noiz originally ran away because he did not want to marry him. It seemed like the only thing on his mind. His doubt fed his brain those poisonous thoughts and they ate away at him like a virus. Soon enough he was able to clear his mind for a moment and drifted off to sleep.

By the time they both awoke, the plane was on the ground. The lights inside the plane flickered on, causing everyone to squint until they were able to adjust themselves to the brightness. Koujaku stood, stretching his arms before turning towards Aoba who had also stood. The plane cleared quickly as the two were the last to exit the plane.

When they reached the busy airport, they both realized that they had no idea where to go from here. Neither of them knew how to speak German and they were in a completely foreign country. The two looks at each other, both being able to tell they were confused. Aoba reached into his bag and pulled out Ren. He booted him up and after a few moments, his Allmate’s eye’s opened.

“Aoba.” He spoke.

“Ren, Can you track Noiz’s allmate?”

“I am not able to do that. I am sorry, Aoba.” Ren’s ears drooped, “I have received a message from him, however.”

“What does it say?”

“It’s an address.”

“Map it out please?”

“Understood.” The address turned out to be much further away from the airport than Aoba had imagined. He scanned the area for some sort of sign that would tell them how to get a taxi or some sort of shuttle out into the city. To their right was a sign that said ‘Autovermietung’ along with an arrow pointing outside. It was dark but the large overhang by the door looked like  it led to some sort of garage.

“That way.” Aoba pointed towards the sign and Koujaku nodded, following him out the sliding glass doors onto the sidewalk only to find a line of taxis parked beside it. With a smile, Aoba walked to the passenger side window of the first car and leaned in to ask the driver if he would taken them to the address they needed to go. The taxi driver nodded and the two got in the back together.

As the car pulled away, Koujaku noticed that the clock in the front said, 2:04. The entire ride was silent, neither of them dared talk about the elephant in the room. Both of them were terrified of what they would find at this address. Seeing as Noiz sent Aoba a message not too long ago, it couldn’t possibly be a dead body. That part relieved Koujaku. The same thoughts he had on the plane were coming back and the only thing he wanted was for the suspense to be over. He wanted the car to stop at the mystery destination and let them out with a smile. He wanted to run into the building and see Noiz and have him explain the whole thing.

Instead, all he got was the unbearable silence and the darkness of the night only to be brightened by the headlights of the car as it pulled down a quiet road. Looking in front of him, Koujaku began to feel uneasy in the eerie part of the town. They were further away from all the large buildings and city life than Koujaku had liked. As they neared the destination, it became more real to them. Aoba glanced at the clock to see that it had been forty five minutes before the car came to a halt.

The moonlight shined brightly over the ghostly willow trees surrounding the long, gravel path in front of them. Perhaps it was shorter, but in this instance Koujaku felt as if it were endless. He was so close to Noiz, only the path separated them. Even that seemed like it was too far. Aoba nodded at Koujaku as they began down the path. For a spring night, there was a slight chill in the air, enough to send shivers down Koujaku’s spine.

Behind the trees revealed a large building looking much like a rich man’s home. From the looks of it, Aoba guessed it was Noiz’s home. He remembered back in Platinum Jail when Noiz ran out to get food. He mentioned having enough money to pay for it all. During Scrap, Aoba found out how his parents treated him. The only thing was, why would he return to them?

The door in front of them was large and daunting. The two froze in place, staring at the large door knocker hanging on the expensive-looking wood door. Suddenly the sound of Aoba’s ringtone filled the silence.

“Hello?” Aoba answered.

“Don’t knock. Come inside.”

“Noiz, where are we-”

“Up the stairs. To the left. Last door.” then he hung up. Aoba looked up from his coil to see Koujaku already reaching for the door. Something about this felt a little too intrusive for him. Just walking into somebody else’s house in a strange country was not something he was comfortable doing. Aoba couldn’t even imagine doing something like that somewhere he knew. Koujaku was his best friend and he always knocked whenever he visited him.

“Aoba, come on.” The door creaked as it opened but the amount of darkness inside was enough to indicate no one was awake to catch them sneaking in. Aoba slid inside, making sure not to open the door too wide just to be cautious. The door closed quietly behind them and they were in. The room was lit by a single lamp sat on a table atop the mahogany staircase. Koujaku grabbed tightly onto the railing of the large staircase and began to walk up, making sure to stay silent with every step. Aoba followed behind a little too loud for Koujaku’s liking.

“There.” Aoba whispered as he pointed to the room by the end of the hall. The light shined from beneath the door into the dark hallway. The two crept forward until they reached the door. Koujaku turned to look at Aoba, holding his fist in front of the door as if he was asking if he should knock. He tapped lightly on the door only to hear loud footsteps from inside. That had to be Noiz. The doorknob turned and the door flew open to reveal a stranger whom neither of them knew at all.

“You must be the fiance.” The man, shooting Koujaku a smile and gesturing the two of them to come in. The stepped into the room and it was empty aside from the man they did not know. Everything suddenly became more confusing. Noiz called them here and he wasn’t even here. Instead, there was a man who looked a little bit like him. The man must have noticed the two’s confusion because he chose to speak up, “Oh Wilhelm is just in the shower, he’ll be right out.”

“Alright.” Koujaku forced a weak smile.

“I never got your names.” The blonde gestured to the two in question.

“Koujaku, that’s Aoba.” He pointed at his friend as Aoba waved awkwardly following his introduction, “And you are?”

“Theo. Will’s brother.” Koujaku responded with a quiet, ‘ah’ before Theo could continue, “Koujaku, are you the one my brother is going to marry?”

Before Koujaku could answer that question, the door to the bathroom opened and a tired looking Noiz entered the room. He was wearing nothing but a thin black tank top and gray sweatpants like he was planning on falling asleep soon. He looked up, noticing the newcomers in the room. Noiz couldn’t help but smile but cursed himself as he felt it creep across his face. He quickly crossed the room towards Koujaku, wrapping his arms around him tightly like a small child. With this, all of Koujaku’s bad thoughts dispersed and he was happy in that moment.

“You have no idea how much I missed you.” He mumbled against Koujaku’s neck before pulling away from him.

“I believe you owe some explanation.” Aoba tried to sound serious but he was happy knowing that Noiz looked happy. It had been so long since he’d seen a genuine smile from Noiz and knowing that Koujaku was the person that could make him smile like that, he knew they needed each other.

“I’ll uh, give you guys some privacy.” Theo smiled before stepping into the bathroom to leave Noiz with his friends.

“I wanted to invite them to the wedding.” Noiz looked down at his feet and his smile fell, “They missed me, they said they did.”

“That’s great, Noiz!” Aoba put his hand on Noiz’s shoulder but he only shook it off.

“That’s not it. My dad he,” Noiz swallowed, “he doesn’t want me to get married to Koujaku.”

“Why?” Aoba questioned. Koujaku couldn’t speak, not now at least. He had just gotten over any thoughts that Noiz would change his mind about the wedding, he totally forgot about his parents.

“He wouldn’t really say, he only got violent.”

“He hit you!?” Koujaku turned his worry stricken face towards Noiz searching for a response but he only stayed silent.

“Only once.” He spoke up. Koujaku felt his face heat up with anger. He remembered when he and Noiz used to fight physically, knowing they got a little intense from time to time. Even so, Koujaku never intended to hurt him too terribly. As they grew closer the less they got into petty fights. Getting his by his own father was enough to make him want to leave.

“N-Noiz-”

“I need you to meet him.” He snapped, eyebrows knitted together as if he were thinking about something more, “Just be nice at dinner, then you can take me home.”

“Noiz…..”

“Please?”

"He hurt you, you can't expect me to ignore that." Aoba looked over at Koujaku noticing that he has begun to treat Noiz like he used to treat him. It filled him with joy to see that Koujaku and Noiz no longer fought like mortal enemies and now cared for each other on a whole new level. It's almost like they had bonded over an important moment before the accident. The worry that he saw in Koujaku's eyes made Noiz's heart swell. It made him wonder what he ever did to deserve someone to give him a chance when he didn't deserve one.

"Forget that. Just introduce yourself and then we can leave." Part of Noiz didn't want to leave his fame again. He knew they all missed him now. Theo was extremely happy when he had found that his brother had returned. His mother even cried as she hugged him. At dinner, his father was a different story. Noiz imagined the only reason he seemed so tough and bitter about the marriage was because he knew Noiz was going to leave them again. His father had planned on Noiz being a big part of the company once he turned eighteen but he just ruined everything. Noiz just had to run away. Noiz just had to keep them worried. Noiz just had to tease them with his sudden reappearance only to leave again. His father just felt betrayed in that moment.

"How can I just-"

"Sleep with me?" Noiz yawned.

"Huh?" Koujaku blinked, giving his fiancé a look as if he was asking him to explain himself.

"You look tired." he shrugged, walking over to his brother's bed and pulled back the covers. Noiz climbed into the bed and patted the spot next to him, "Sleep with me?" With a chuckle, Koujaku nodded and climbed into bed beside him.

Across the room, Aoba stood awkwardly hoping that Theo would finally return. For the longest time he had hidden out in the bathroom as he awaited the time when it was safe to return to the room. Aoba hopes that he didn't fall asleep in there. He walked over to the closed wooden door and knocked a couple times.

"Who is it?" Theo called from the opposite side of the door. Aoba sighed in relief, knowing that Noiz's little brother had not fallen asleep.

"Uh, Aoba."

"Can I come out now?"

"Yes you can." The door creaked open a moment later and Theo emerged from the bathroom quietly. "Where can I sleep?" Aoba motioned to the two already fast asleep in Theo's bed.

"You and I are going to have to use the guest room. Unless you want to sleep in brother's room."

"Brother's room?" Aoba questioned, realizing that that he was referring to the room Noiz was locked in for years. Honestly, he was scared to go anywhere near that room. "I think the guest room will be just fine."

* * *

 

The next day went by in a quick panic. Every passing minute Koujaku found himself worrying over the impending dinner he must attend with Noiz’s father. Of course, he wasn’t going to be alone but it didn’t make him feel any better about it. He could not get passed that feeling of hatred towards that man who locked away his son and hit him when he decided to return. Koujaku spent most of the day alone, pacing back and forth in Theo’s room. In a way, he felt as if he was being selfish by not spending time with Noiz but he just couldn’t at a time like this.

As for the other three, they spent the day lazily sitting around in Noiz’s old room. Aoba was a little reluctant to enter but it was Noiz’s idea. It was a very simple looking room, much less lavish as Theo’s. Aoba couldn’t help but notice the myriad of locks on the door in order to keep him inside. Sitting in this room, Aoba couldn’t help but recall things he saw during his Scrap with Noiz. This was that small dark room that made Noiz feel like he was trapped.

Aoba saw the way Theo and Noiz interacted and it was almost like they had grown up together. They would tell each other stories about what happened in their lives and would laugh at something embarrassing the other did. It was almost like Noiz was a whole new person. Never in a million years did Aoba imagine that Noiz would act this way. He had only caught a glimpse of this side of him after the fall of the Oval Tower.

By the time dinner came around, everyone gathered in the main dining room. Aoba and Theo sat together on one side of the small table while Koujaku and Noiz sat on the other. The four of them awaited for the return of the final two to join them. All of them were silent, staring down at the china set on the table in front of them. Plates like this were expected in a house this fantastic, Aoba thought. Even the silverware matched the coloring of the china. To him, this was really fascinating. To Theo, these were the same type of plates he ate on every night with his parents. Koujaku was more focused on what he would say to Noiz’s father once he made it to the table.

The large door at the other end of the room slid open and two figures emerged from the darkness of the hallway into the brightly lit dining room. The woman who approached the end of the table closest to Theo and Noiz must have been their mother. The man, however, looked much angrier by the way he walked passed everyone seated at the table in order to reach the other end of the table. Koujaku noticed the delicate, faint smile on the woman’s lips and how much her expression different from her husband’s. His face, however was tight, lips forming a nearly perfect scowl as his arms remained crossed firmly over his chest.

Small bowls of soup were placed in front of each person sat at the table and everyone began to eat. Aoba stared at the spoons in front of him. There were two of them but one was slightly larger than the other. Before anyone could notice, he grabbed the bigger spoon quickly and began to eat the soup in front of him. Koujaku felt his hands shaking as he tried to calmly eat. As the silence continued, the more uncomfortable the two of them felt. Is this really how these dinners go?

“ Father.” Noiz began. His father looked up from his food and met his eldest son’s gaze, “I thought you would like to meet my fiance.”

“The blue haired one?” The man raised an eyebrow with the question. It was almost like he was asking, ‘are you serious?’

“The other one. Koujaku.” Noiz put his spoon down, forgetting about his food completely. He had now began the conversation he had intended to start.

“Nice to meet you, sir.” Koujaku tried his best to meet the man’s eyes but they pierced into him like daggers.

“Nice to meet you too.” He spoke matter of factly. It took Koujaku aback, he had expected him to say something rude or disapproving like he had said to Noiz before. “I can’t say I approve of this, however”

“Why is that?” He felt the anger welling up inside of him again, he knew that he promised Noiz he would be polite but he couldn’t help it.

“Wilhelm has just only now decided he wanted to return to us, we can’t simply have you take him away again, can we?” Noiz’s father stood, pacing behind the two with his arms clasped behind his back like he was prepared to interrogate them.

“You can’t just hold him back again.” Koujaku dropped his spoon and it landed onto the china with a loud clatter, “That’s exactly why he left in the first place!”

“Koujaku-” Noiz held his arm out to stop him from going off like this.

“No, I need to.”

“Do you think I want to lose my son again?”

“I don’t want to lose him either.”

“I don’t know if I can believe that.”

“Is it so hard to believe that I love him?” With that, Koujaku stood, now standing face to face with Noiz’s father. Before anything more could unfold, Noiz stood, pushing the two of them away from each other.

“Father, it’s true that he loves me. I love him too.”

“B-but” he started again.

“Just because I’m going to live with him doesn’t mean I’ll never come back.” Silence filled the room once more. The man’s face  looked dumbfounded, looking at his son in a way he hadn’t in a long time. Noiz’s hands trembled as he watched tears roll softly down his father’s cheeks. He grabbed Noiz and pulled him into a firm hug, mumbling something along the lines ‘thank you so much.’ He could have sworn he heard him say ‘I love you’ as well but that could just as much be his imagination. His father pulled away from the hug and stepped back to speak to the two of them.

“I’d very much like to attend the wedding if you’ll have me.”

“Of course.” Koujaku nodded before meeting Noiz’s gaze with a smile.

“I think it’s time we went home.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is it, but I've already started writing an epilogue so two more updates and this is done, damn.


	18. First Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> do you hear wedding bells?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took way too long, sorry i was dealing with some things but hey last chapter  
> epilogue should be out sometime soon i hope.

“Noiz! Hurry up, you’re going to be late!” Aoba shouted from the hallway. He checked his watch impatiently as he straightened his tie. This was the most important day of his life and he was sure taking his time. He figured Noiz would be like this, it’s not like it was his wedding day or anything. The man exited his hotel room in a crisp, dark gray suit.

“Late? How can I be late on my wedding day?” He smirked, pushing Aoba out of the way so they could continue down the hallway together. Inside the Platinum Jail, everything was extravagant. Despite all the bickering they went through, Koujaku finally gave in and allowed Noiz to plan a lavish wedding. He hated spending so much money like this but he wanted to make his future husband happy. Aoba looked over at Noiz and made a face that could only really be described as a cross between confused and amazed. He hasn’t seen the blonde’s face without any metal sticking out of it in a long time. Noiz did have a pretty face, Aoba could admit, but he always had all of those piercings poking out of it leaving it very intimidating to look at. Of course, he knew Noiz did not want to be seen as weak. “What are you looking at?” Noiz knitted his brows together as he turned towards his friend. Aoba shook his head, laughing slightly before opening his mouth to speak.

“Just your face.” 

“Is there something on my face?” Noiz patted his face with his hands in an attempt to figure out what Aoba was talking about. Aoba only laughed harder, enough so that he had to stop walking and press his hand against the wall before he gained enough composure to speak again. 

“Nothing is on your face, that’s why I said it.” 

“You’re confusing me.” 

“You aren’t wearing any piercings.” He stated as he began to calm down. Noiz stood and stared at the blue-haired man in confusion.

“Brilliant observation,” Noiz chuckled, pulling on Aoba’s arm as he began to walk again, “why did you point that out?” 

“You look nice.” he said, shaking his head. 

“Are you hitting on me at my own wedding?” Noiz smirked but did not turn around to catch Aoba’s immediate reaction to his words. He expected his eyes to go wide and for him to start sputtering out nonsense until he figured out what words were again and respond with something sarcastic. That’s exactly what happened. Aoba nearly stopped dead in his tracks again, mouth hanging open, unable to find the words to say. 

“N-no way, I’m happily taken.” 

“Me too.” He responded. After that, the two walked in a comfortable silence down the long hallway towards the grand ballroom. Noiz remembered the day he booked this place and how excited he was for this day. Never in his life did he see himself getting married. Just a year ago, he wanted to die. He was slowly killing himself through Rhyme and he didn’t even care. He didn’t care that Virus and Trip wanted to kill him. He didn’t care that they almost did. Now that he had Koujaku in his life, he cared. 

Nothing was going to keep him from Rhyme, it’s what he does. But now that he has something to look forward to, he won’t be reckless anymore. Noiz felt love and had no need to feel pain anymore. He wasn’t numb anymore. Everything in his future seemed bright and it was all thanks to Koujaku and Aoba. Without those two in his life, he probably would be dead. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true. Aoba helped him to feel again, but Koujaku helped him love again. Noiz was forever grateful for both his friend and his soon-to-be husband for all that they did to get him here today. 

Usually, a bride or groom would've nervous on their special day. Noiz on the other hand felt surprisingly calm. He glided down that hallway as if he had been this happy his entire life. Aoba took note of his friend’s movement and couldn't help but feel like he was ignoring Koujaku. He mumbled an excuse to Noiz and shuffled in the other direction to find his other best friend. 

In his room, Koujaku paced back and forth, dressed in a fine black suit and hands on his hips. 

“Koujaku, you alright?” Aoba questioned. The answer was obvious but he was at a loss for words at the moment. It seemed like the best way to start the conversation. He looked extremely flustered about one thing or another. It was his wedding day, it’s apparently normal to be flustered. 

“Do I look alright?” Koujaku stopped pacing and waited for his best friend to answer him. 

“Not really.” He sighed. 

“What’s wrong!?” The groom’s eyes widened as he shifted towards the full-body mirror on the wall and started pulling at the collar of his shirt. He wanted to look the best when he married the love of his life. Every time he wore suits, they made him feel confident. But something about today made him feel uneasy once he donned the navy suit. He could not for the life of him figure out if it was because he was nervous about marrying Noiz or if he just did not like the suit as much as he did when he bought it. 

“N-no! You look fine.” Aoba held his hands out to try and calm his friend down. Getting married was a huge step in a person’s life, it’s only normal to get nervous. No matter how certain that the person you are going to marry is the love of your life, you can still get nervous. Koujaku, however, was very certain. In fact, he was certain he was certain. He was so certain that he could go on until the word lost its meaning and started to sound foreign each time he said it. 

“Then why did you say I didn’t?” He raised an eyebrow as he questioned Aoba who only responded in a shrug because he honestly had no idea how to explain himself. He couldn’t tell Koujaku that he looked completely terrified to go out there and stand at the end of the aisle. The wedding was going to start in a half hour so he had to get Koujaku in a good state of mind before he went out there. 

“I should really get you out there.” Aoba started towards the door. As he reached his hand towards the knob, he realized that Koujaku had not followed him.He turned around and noticed him taking off his entire suit. “Koujaku! What are you doing!?” 

“This isn’t the suit I want to get married in. I have one that Noiz will like much better.” He started to mutter inaudible things as he angrily tore the suit from his body. Koujaku had been acting very strange all day, but as the time came closer he had only gone down hill. Did he even want to marry Noiz? 

“Okay, okay.” Aoba sighed, picking up the pieces of the suit off the floor and hanging them up so they wouldn’t get wrinkled, “But I don’t think anybody but Noiz would be comfortable with you wearing your birthday suit down the aisle.” 

“Th-that’s not the suit I meant!” He stuttered, feeling his cheeks heat up. Koujaku grabbed a bag off the clothing rack and headed into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Aoba only sighed, sitting down on the couch until he emerged in the new outfit. He was really being complicated. As he sat, all he could really do was think. Mizuki had given Ren to Tae and was busy getting himself ready. He was Koujaku’s best man because Aoba decided it would be better if they each had their own instead of sharing him. Aoba shifted uncomfortably in his dark blue suit. He never liked dressing up. Wearing a long-sleeved shirt and jeans was usually enough for him. 

_ “Oi, are you almost done in there!?” Aoba shouted from the couch. They were very awkward to sit in, obviously were more for looks than comfort. The seashell shaped cushion was terribly stiff, causing Aoba to get extremely impatient. As Noiz’s best man, it was only fair he went suit shopping with him. If only he knew what he got himself into. Noiz had dragged Aoba to four different stores before this, saying something along the lines of needing to buy a suit his father would be proud of or something. It was totally understandable but Aoba was way passed tired and settled right into whiny baby mode. It was not something he was proud of, but he can’t help it.  _

_ “Give me a minute.” A monotone voice spoke from the other side of the curtain. Every suit Noiz tried on looked fantastic but he would always find a reason not to buy it. Whether it was the pockets were too small or the thread count wasn’t high enough to be comfortable in, he just never bought one. At this point, Aoba was convinced they would have to call it a night and he’d have be be succumbed to yet another suit outing another day.  _

_ Noiz finally exited the changing room in a pristine, white suit. It reminded Aoba of those stereotypical suits they would make one man wear in movies to signify that he was taking place of the bride. It seemed kind of silly to him. As fancy as the suit seemed, he couldn’t see Noiz wearing that on his wedding day. With a disinterested look, he glanced up to meet Noiz’s gaze. With a sigh, Noiz opened his mouth.  _

_ “I don’t like it either.”   _

_ “It’s…...nice.”  Aoba tried to sound positive but it really was not at all nice. To that, Noiz only shook his head.  _

_ “You don't need to lie.”  _

_ “I'm not! It’s actually really nice if that's what you're going for.”  _

_ “What I'm going for?”  _

_ “You know, that style.” Aoba laughed, hoping to further confuse his friend. He didn't know why he wanted to but seeing the look on Noiz’s face nearly made him burst with laughter.  _

_ “What style.”  _

_ “Tacky.” Noiz only stood silently in response to Aoba’s remark. His lack of words shut Aoba right up as he stared at his friends through narrowed eyes almost like he was going to threaten him. Soon enough to silence became unbearable and so did the deathly stares. Aoba shifted uncomfortably on the stuff couch.  _

_ “Alright then, this is it.” Noiz finally spoke, pulling Aoba out of his uncomfortable trance.  _

_ “W-what?”  _

_ “This is it. I found the suit.” he stated as he straightened his tie and turned towards the mirror. With a smirk, he watched his friend’s reaction in the mirror. Aoba could not believe that he decided on this suit. He knew he had to be kidding but just the sheer nature of how he said it made him believe that he was actually going to purchase it.  _

_ “No, I was kidding!” He nearly kept from the couch as if he was trying to actually pull Noiz out of the suit before he bought it.  _

_ “So you lied?”  _

_ “Yes?” he admitted.  _

_ “I know you too well.” He responded with a smile.  _

“What about this one?” Koujaku emerged from the bathroom in what looked like the same exact suit he had been wearing. Aoba only smiled, hoping not to further upset the groom on his wedding day. 

“That looks stunning, now can I get you out of here we’re going to be late!” Aoba started to get frustrated watching Koujaku stand in front of the mirror tying and untying his tie to make sure he got it perfect enough to get married in. 

“I can’t be late on my wedding day.” He shook his head. Aoba only laughed in response, remembering how Noiz said the same thing. The two of them were really meant for each other no matter how much each of them would have denied it only a year ago. With a nod, Koujaku turned towards the door, grabbing Aoba’s arm as he passed. The two walked down the hall in comfortable silence but Aoba swore that Koujaku was on the verge of power walking towards the elevator to get to the ceremony. 

The large double doors stood closed before him, separating Koujaku from the room full of guests whom have gathered to witness his marriage. The frosted glass was placed delicately inside a white, wooden frame Koujaku could only  imagine what the inside looked like. Noiz had been very secretive about the planning of this wedding. He would always say something along the lines of , “You’ll see sooner or later,” whenever he would ask any questions about it. So far, everything looked beautiful to him. This was so much more than Koujaku expected from him. 

Those same doors flew open dramatically and Koujaku nearly felt his heart beating out of his chest and his fingers sporadically shaking from the nerves. This was a huge step in his life. He originally pictured taking this step with Aoba, but he found that Noiz’s steps were more in sync with his. 

The nicely dressed man standing in front of the frosted glass nodded, telling him that he could proceed down the aisle. It was a little embarrassing to have to walk solo down a long aisle and having hundreds of eyes on only him. At first, Koujaku felt it would be better to just turn around and shut the frosted doors but once his eyes met Noiz’s at the opposite end of the aisle, he knew he had to go forward. None of the eyes mattered to him. There were only two eyes he needed to see in order to keep going. 

When he got to the front, Koujaku took Noiz’s hands in his and he felt happy. At that moment, all of the fluttering butterflies dispersed from his stomach, the sweat retreated, but his heart continued to beat a mile a minute. The ceremony went by in a blur. All he could remember was Noiz’s face when he said, “I do,” but that was enough for him. That man would never ever smile, his world was pain. Seeing him standing there with a wide grin on his face, agreeing to be his forever was the greatest moment in Koujaku’s life. 

Noiz knew he had never been happier. It was his goal today to give him and Koujaku the greatest wedding either of them have ever seen. As much planning went into the ceremony itself, most of Noiz’s time was spent on the reception afterwards. There were so many details to figure out from the cake to the entertainment and the food. Noiz sure had some fun picking out the food. 

_ “Sir, is your wife on her way?” the woman asked politely before she brought any of the food to the table. Noiz only laughed, loosening the tie from around his neck to get comfortable.  _

_ “He won't be making it today, but I'll make sure I pick something we’ll both enjoy.” The waitress wordlessly turned on her heel to retrieve the dishes to avoid showing her embarrassingly red face. When she returned, Noiz was surrounded by plethora of food. Each thing tasted completely different from the other but all delicious in their own way. It ended up being extremely difficult to pick the main dish for the reception.  _

_ After the main dish was decided, there was yet another matter to tend to. Noiz sat in front of roughly twenty five different cake flavors. Forget the overall look, Noiz was having a difficult enough time choosing what it should even taste like. He then wondered if he was as prepared for this wedding as he thought he was. Normally, people envision their weddings before they even get engaged. Having already decided what everything is going to look and taste like, planning the wedding for real must be relatively simple, Noiz thought. For him it was different. Noiz didn't even want to live let alone get married. He had absolutely nothing planned for this wedding beforehand but he was determined to have the best one in history.  _

The guests gathered in the ballroom for the reception, chattering amongst each other before the music started to play. “Let’s welcome the happy couple!” Clear shouted through the microphone and joyfully pressed the play button on the laptop in front of him, making a beautiful, upbeat tune to blare from the speakers. The crowd slowly began dancing one by one around Koujaku and Noiz. To them, it didn't matter if everyone danced or not. While the two moved together in perfect harmony, they forgot that there were people around him. 

Koujaku was the first to be pulled back to reality when he accidentally stepped on a man’s foot. He turned to quickly apologize but the man had continued dancing before Koujaku could even open his mouth. Noiz only laughed, watching his flustered husband look back and forth in search of the man. 

“This place is really nice.” Aoba mentioned while they were all sitting down to eat. 

“Just wait until you see the cake.” Noiz smiled as the plates of food were placed in front of them. The food looked insanely delicious though Koujaku couldn't really tell what it was. Taking a bite, he was certain it was some sort of chicken dish but he could not for the life of him figure out exactly what it was. Nonetheless, it was delicious. 

The rest of the night went on without a hitch. Everyone danced and enjoyed themselves while Noiz and Koujaku blocked out the world and spent the majority of the night attached to each other in one way or another whether it was slow dancing, kissing, or just holding hands.

When the moment for the cake arrived, Noiz could barely stand still. The crowd of guests gathered around a table and the cake was carried in. The sight of the cake made Aoba’s jaw drop to the floor. That cake had to have been at least ten tiers tall, covered with a gentle cascade of red roses. The first thing that came to Aoba’s mind was if those flowers were edible because he kind of wanted to eat one. 

Koujaku was speechless. That cake was the most beautiful cake he had ever seen. It seemed so carefully planned out, he almost wanted to cry at the sight. Instead, he placed his hand on top of Noiz’s as they cut it together. The first piece was taken out to reveal a seemingly chocolate, almost velvet looking cake. Koujaku delicately placed a piece into Noiz’s mouth and braced himself for whatever his husband wanted to pull. Being a good husband, he did what he was expected to do and Koujaku immediately recognized the flavor. It was the same cake they shared on their double date. Before he could comment, however, Noiz wiped his frosting covered hand on his cheek. 

“Very funny.” Koujaku laughed. Aoba grabbed a napkin and handed it to his friend so he could wipe it off. 

“Oh no he won’t need that.” Noiz held his hand out to block Aoba from handing Koujaku the napkin. Instead, he leaned in and licked all the frosting off of his husband’s face. Koujaku felt his face heat up instantly as everyone watched Noiz lick his face clean. He wanted to push him away when he saw everyone’s eyes on them. He toughed it out anyway, noting this frosting thing for later. 

Their first dance was magical. In all honesty, it wasn't their first dance. Both of them had forgotten about it and it never really happened until the end of the night. The two of them had danced together a lot during the course of the night but it was never just the two of them. Aoba cleared the dancefloor and the couple met in the middle while Clear played their favorite song. 

For once, Noiz let Koujaku lead and it felt as if he was floating. If Noiz believed cloud nine existed, this would be it. The ground below him felt airy and light. Koujaku’s grasp on his waist was delicate and Noiz felt safe in that moment. He finally felt like he had nothing to worry about. He married someone who cared a lot about him, his parents came to the wedding, and he felt like he had a place in this world. Noiz knew he couldn't thank Koujaku enough, but he sure is going to try. 

Koujaku could die happy in Noiz’s arms right now. At this moment, he couldn't even fathom how he used to hate Noiz. No matter how much they used to fight or disagreed, he knows now that everything has changed for the better. He was so hung up on losing Aoba, but now it didn't matter because to him, he would be much happier with Noiz. It's crazy for him to think that way because he had wanted Aoba for so long. It is amazing how quickly things can change. Koujaku would do the same thing again if he had to. Noiz was finally his. 

After their slow dance, Noiz and Koujaku said their goodbyes and took off to the airport. The limo ride was short but quiet. The day had been so packed with events, they needed a moment to rest. Noiz laid his head on Koujaku’s shoulder and took a quick power nap before they pulled up to the airport. Koujaku, surprisingly did not feel very tired. He figured that'd he was bound to crash on the plane or something, but in the limo he sat wide awake, thinking about their future together. He imagined getting a child with Noiz and growing old with him. Koujaku never really pictured getting old with Aoba. He expected to be friends with him for that long but he never really thought about what it would be like in fifty years to wake up to him in the morning. With Noiz it was different. The image was vivid enough to make Koujaku laugh at the sight of Noiz's messy gray hair pressed against the pillow and his drool stain on the sheets. He could not be any more excited about growing old as he was at this moment.

* * *

 

The airport was unsurprisingly empty when they arrived. Not many people have flights at three in the morning. The trip was a complete secret for Koujaku. Obviously, he knew they were going to go somewhere following the wedding, but he did not know where. As the duo walked through the airport, it began to get busier. Noiz looked over at his husband as they awaited to board the plane and smiled. 

“What?” Koujaku questioned as when Noiz’s gaze caught his eye. 

“Nothing.” He replied. It was odd for him to respond that way, Noiz was always one to tell Koujaku what was on his mind. Most of the time, it was a sarcastic remark so it took Koujaku off guard when he was not greeted with one. 

“It has to be something.” He prodded. Before Noiz could respond, a lady’s voice came over the loudspeaking, notifying the passengers that the plane was boarding. The two got up from their seats and stood in line in silence. When they walked down the hallway, for some reason it did not make Noiz feel suffocated. Instead, he grabbed Koujaku’s hand as they walked. 

They sat comfortably in first class. Noiz ignored the complaints from Koujaku, saying something along the lines of he really didn’t have to spend the extra money on nicer seats. With a sigh, Koujaku gave up his protest and sat as they waited for everyone else to board the plane. they slowly carted out to the runway and everything was quiet. Most people in the plane looked tired and waited patiently for the plane lights to turn off so they could do so. As the plane began to zip down the runway, Koujaku remembered the conversation the two of them had back at the airport. 

“Hey Noiz?” The blonde looked up at him from his reclined position to show he was listening, “Why were you staring at me in the airport?” 

“I told you.” Noiz yawned, hoping the conversation could end until they got to their destination. 

“You said it was nothing.”

“Mhm.” He started to close his eyes as he tiredly closed the window shade. 

“It wasn’t nothing, Noiz.” 

“I was just looking at you.” Noiz shrugged lazily, letting out a second yawn. Koujaku frowned. 

“Why?” 

“Lost in thought.” 

“What were you thinking about?” 

“How happy you make me.” Noiz answered simply. If Koujaku’s heart could melt any more then it would have right at this moment. He opened his mouth to say something in return but Noiz had fallen asleep. He did have the right idea, Koujaku thought as he too yawned. Making himself comfortable, he soon was lost in slumber. 

The two awoke to the unforgiving plane lights when they were switched back on to signify that they had landed. Koujaku eagerly looked out the window to see if he could figure out where they were. They were surrounded by tall buildings that seemed to go on for miles without stopping. He looked over to see Noiz stretching his arms as he got his bearings. 

“Where are we?” 

“Where do you think?” Noiz asked as they began to deplane. The plane was filled with people in business attire, most of which did not look like they were from Midorijima. 

“I don’t know.” Koujaku furrowed his eyebrows and looked around once they got outside the plane and into an area with lots of windows. 

“New York City.” Noiz replied with a smile just as they spotted a man standing with the name ‘Wilhelm’ written nicely on a sign in his hand. Of course. Koujaku should have guessed it. Noiz had raved about this city ever since he learned what kind of food is served in this city. ‘The possibilities are endless!’ he would rave, saying that someone could eat out in New york City for three years and never eat at the same restaurant twice. 

“Seriously?” Koujaku only shook his head. 

“I promise, this is only a quick stop. We get on the next plane in two days.”

* * *

 

And promise he did. Two days later they found themselves on a plane yet again, set for another mystery destination. Noiz was overly excited about this one, probably because he had gotten some sleep and some amazing food. They spent half a day walking around Time Square. Koujaku had no idea Noiz could eat so much food in one day. Despite all the fun they had in the city, Koujaku was ready to leave. The airport in New York City, was a lot busier than Midorijima. 

This plane ride was a complete nightmare. There were about three babies crying for a majority of the seven hour flight and it was much shakier than the other flights they had taken. Whatever weather was going on made them reroute and land on a completely different island. Neither of them knew where they were once they landed but Noiz was determined to get this honeymoon back on track. Three hours sitting in the airport led them onto a flight taking them to their intended destination. For some reason, the original plane could not make it. They blamed it on weather but the conditions seemed perfectly fine. 

The island was absolutely beautiful. There was a small resort sat right by the water. Two weeks wasn’t nearly enough time, this place was like a dream. When they got to the room, Koujaku went out on the patio and admired the view in front of him. The waves crashed softly on the sand as surfers floated by on their boards. The air was fresh unlike New York City. It was an amazing sight to say the least, Koujaku wished he could stay here with Noiz forever. 

“I bet this looks breathtaking at sunset.” He commented to himself. 

“Not as breathtaking as you are right now.” Noiz smirked as he delicately placed an arm around Koujaku’s waist. He turned to his husband and placed a tender kiss on his lips. It was innocent enough until Noiz pulled on his hair and deepened the kiss, pulling him from the patio. Koujaku pulled away from Noiz, confused. 

“What are you doing?” 

“I want to celebrate,” Noiz smiled, pulling Koujaku in for another quick kiss, “our marriage.”

“Me too.” He responded and pushed his husband down onto the bed and leaned down to kiss him again. The two of them were more than eager to do this, it has been way too long. 

* * *

 

The rest of their honeymoon went off without a hitch. The two of them spent lazy days at the beach or took time to explore the island. Noiz even learned how to surf. Koujaku tried his hardest, but his balance was terrible. Nonetheless, he was proud that Noiz had not only learned to swim but also did not make fun of him too much whenever he fell off the board. As their trip came to a close, the two found themselves sitting by the ocean underneath a large umbrella watching the sun set over the water. No matter what happened to get them here, it was absolutely worth it. The more Noiz thought about it, the more he realized that the trip was much like the two of them. They may have had their issues and got a little lost along the way but in the end they were at peace together. Noiz looked over at Koujaku, ignoring the beauty over the ocean. Koujaku turned and frowned, looking at his husband in confusion. 

“Why are you looking at me?” Noiz smiled, pressing a sweet kiss against Koujaku’s lips.

“I just love you.” 

“I love you too, Noiz.” 


End file.
